Money Money

Mario continues to be fixated on money. He called me into the bedroom this morning and shouted “Look, look!” Tim Horton’s had a commercial for its scratch-off tickets.

“You can win up to $50,000 or a new car!”

After it was over, he looked over at me to see my reaction. I looked amazed and said “wow, I could win a lot of money!”

He shook his head and said “no, mom, I wouldn’t go for that one. Grandma Ionno played and just won a coffee.”

He proceeded to tell me that the insurance commercial where we save $100 by switching to a new company is a lot better deal for us because then we know we’d get $100 cash.

This behavior paired with his recent request of Grandma Ionno to buy him button down shirts and a tie, make me see Wall Street in his future… or maybe, CEO of Traveler’s Insurance.

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Weekend Round-Up

Maria exhibited her mom’s wackiness for “Crazy Hat Day” at school by taking her straw hat she received as a gift at a birthday party and pinning a stuffed animal on top.

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If it would have been the first week of school, that would never have happened. But since she knows her classmates so well, she had no qualms about it. She is quite the party animal when she knows everyone involved.

She had one heck of a day on Friday because after Crazy Hat Day, we played Yahtzee in the evening. Mario and I have both gotten Yahtzees while playing the game and Ri always gets so dejected that she hasn’t experienced the thrill. First roll of the game, she got a Yahtzee! And with sixes! She was so charged up. I think one of the greatest milestones for kids is when they experience excitement for another instead of experiencing jealousy. This happened with Mario. He got so excited for Ri when she got her Yahtzee; he gave her a big big and yelled “good job, Ria!” About five minutes later, she rolled another one. She ran into Jon to tell him the unbelievable news. Mario didn’t exhibit quite the excitement but he didn’t whine either (big progress). Ri ended up demolishing us by over 200 points. She remains the reigning champ but a game is scheduled for tonight and I feel lucky.

On Saturday, we went to the middle school’s fun fair. They have a raffle, tons of cookies and cupcakes, games and a bouncey house. What more can kids ask for?! I always feel bad for Mario because Ri is at that age where she “meets up” with her girlfriends and runs around with them the entire time. Mario begs to bring a friend but his friends live outside of Grandview and it’s a whole big ordeal to plan a play date. I am so glad that he is starting Kindergarten next year and will meet Grandview boys to hang with on the weekends.

Sure enough, as soon as we walked in, one of Maria’s friends appeared. They walked around together for most of the time (Hailey’s mom “trailed” them without letting them know it). Ri’s at that strange age where you feel comfortable letting her run around at a closed event like this but you also don’t want to leave her completely unchaperoned. It feels strange not to have her by my side and to watch her act goofy with her girlfriends and boys in her grade.

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Meanwhile, Mario wanted me to watch him go down the bouncey house slide fifteen times over. He still stands by my side, which I won’t complain about at all. But as soon as our next door neighbors showed up, he left me and went running around with Quinn. He loved the toilet paper toss – our little hillbilly.

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He also kicked it at the dart game – got a bullseye on his first try (taking after his Uncle Greg).

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The kids located the face paint table towards the end of the day and Ri, being true to her school spirit, got a Bobcat paw. Mario, being true to his bad self, got a vicious snake.

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I could not believe it was 2 pm when we left. We stayed at that fair for three hours. I was spent. But we managed to head into my office around 5 in order for me to print off some things. We ended up on there until 7 pm. The kids loved sitting at the computer and playing. Mario was on mine and Ri was on my assistant’s. I was on my colleague’s. when I had finished my tasks, I walked into my office and found Mario watching some home-made Transformers movie where every other word was a cuss word.

“How long have you been watching this?” I asked him.

“Only a few minutes. It’s awesome.”

We had a talk about using those words and I didn’t hear any of them the rest of the weekend so hopefully we are in the clear.

My dad called Saturday night to ask if he could crash at our place after watching Jack play at a bar that night. It’s a sad day when your dad is partying til the wee hours of the night and crashing at your place (and you’ve been in bed since 10 pm)! Ri and I made pancakes for Peepaw in the morning and then followed him to Cincy to decorate Grandma Menkedick’s grave on the anniversary of her death. Ri wore all pink in her honor. It was freezing outside.

I love the few words my dad said to Ri when she told him she was freezing. “Now we can visit her grave every year and we will know that Spring is coming soon.”

Maria had to take a picture before we left.

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We performed our tornado exercise at my mom’s house Sunday afternoon. We watched Lou eat a stuffed bear, ate cookies and played on the bed. Then we went to a birthday party that Grace-Bug was invited to at a gym with inflatables. Nothing like inviting yourself to someone’s birthday party (luckily we knew them). The kids went non-stop on the inflatables and begged me to join. Aunt Julie tried to teach me to sit still and make them play on their own but I couldn’t last too long. Besides, I love playing on those things! Ri, Mario and I held hands down the shark slide and Gracie even braved it. And… we even scored sheet cake! Ri and I downed two pieces each.

We ended the day with baths at Julie’s house. Maria and Gracie in one tub and Mario in his own. They smelled like baby shampoo on the way home. I miss that scent.

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Grandma Lolo gave Ri a koala bear and Mario a “hot stuff” bear (apropos) for the ride home. We stopped at BP for our chips and drinks and we were off for Columbus. When we got home, we hoped dad would surprise us and not have left for his trip. No such luck. The only silver lining was that the kids got to sleep in my bed with me ( a silver lining for the kids – not me – as I get kicked and punched all night!).

Jon and mini-him

I never need to miss Jon too much when he’s out of town because Maria acts as a mini-him.

This morning Mario begged to play with the iPad and I let in after the fifth plea just to have some quiet. Maria shook her head at me and counseled “you have to say no to him, mom, and not give in.” Then we were walking out the door to head to school and I had a ceramic bowl of apples for Mario. Maria saw them and scolded me.

“You aren’t letting Mario take that nice bowl into school, are you?”

I saw Jon channeled through her at that moment. I burst out laughing and found myself responding like I would to Jon. “No babe, I’m not going to let Mario bring in the bowl to school.”

As I drove to work, I realized I did let Mario take the bowl into school. Jon and mini-him would be so disappointed….

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Dentist Round Two

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And so we returned. But this time to a pediatric dentist in Dublin named Dr. Harring who was sent from the heavens, I’m quite sure. After a most hellacious experience a couple of months ago, this dental trip was a piece of cake. Jon had taken him a few weeks ago to an initial consultation with Dr. Harring and really liked him. It was at this time that he found 6 cavities in Mario’s mouth as well as a tooth that needed extracted because it was infected. Lovely. Just stick that “Mom of the Year” pin on my chest. I will never forget that sinking feeling I had when Jon texted me with the news. I was sick the rest of the day.

But then perspective opens up and you realize all you can do is move forward. And so we did. We promised Mario a Skylander and a a package of $4.99 coins for Heroup.com if he was a strong boy and stayed still. I ate a gallon of peanut butter chip ice cream the night before his appointment.

Spider-Man and I showed up at 9:15. The dental assistants loved his outfit. The waiting area has video games and toys to keep the kids busy. Nice touch.

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The dentist arrived shortly after we walked back and hooked the laughing gas onto Mario, turned on Scooby and all went smoothly. At one point, Mario started waving his hands in the air and talking nonsense about the Scooby show. The doctor told him the gas should be relaxing him but Mario said “no way, I am hyper!” I asked the dentist to describe how Mario feels with the gas and he said it’s like us drinking two glasses of wine. Now the arm-waving makes sense.

I cringed when the dentist pulled Mario’s tooth but thanks to the gas and a boatload of novocaine, Mario felt nothing. He high-fived the dentist after it was over and bragged about going to get a Skylander. I told him that I wasn’t sure he needed a Skylander since the procedure was so simple. He told me I promised him. A deal is a deal – I will know next time (seeing we have at least two more visits to fix up those teeth – I am the toothbrush nazi every morning and night after this insanity).

We drove straight home because Mario decided he wanted to buy 2 $4.99 gold coin packages rather than a Skylander. When I went to try and buy them my credit card would not process. So I got irritated and restarted the computer and tried again. The second time it went through immediately. Then a screen popped up and told us our first try went through so that pipsqueak got $20 worth of gold. He loved that.

I called Patty to update her on the appointment and she had news for me when I told her how much I hate taking Mario to the dentist.

“Mario told me the other day that he loved going to the dentist because he got toys afterwards and got to stay out of school.”

I think I’ve been taken by that boy.

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Stepping out

maryOur trip to Cancun started with a box of Whoppers and Bossypants. I must have snacks and a good book on a two-hour flight (in fact, any mode of transportation absent a bike requires emergency snacks).

We left Mario with Patty and Joe and Maria with Meg for the first two days of our trip and then M&M went to the farm for the weekend. Mario is beside himself at Patty and Joe’s house even more than before because they recently bought a Wii. Mario packed up his Skylanders and couldn’t wait to spend hours showing them off to Grandma and Grandpa (they will be sainted). It was almost as awesome as Christmas morning for him. While Mario was at Grandma’s house, he made a formal declaration to her: “Grandma! My mom doesn’t buy me any clothes that fit.” He did this after he went in the bedroom to get dressed and came out with a pair of high water pants and a long sleeve shirt that could have been short-sleeved on him. In my defense, I bought him clothes this year but I have tended towards the smaller sizes because up until this awakening with Patty, he never wanted pants that went to his ankles and he wanted his shirts skin-tight. So, I’m glad to see he’s turned a corner and that Patty got to be his personal shopper while we were away. He dragged her into Children’s Palace, picked out clothes, and had her and Joe wait outside while he tried them on in the changing rooms “like the girls get to do.” He walked out with an Oxford shirt and a pair of jeans and asked if he looked cooler than Justin Bieber. Patty told him he looked cooler. He was smitten. He found a tie to match his shirts and he was set. Thank you Patty for clothing our rock star.

mariapjsMaria hung with Meg and dragged her all over the house to see random things – her fish, her clothes, her on-line games. She even got to take Meg to see her classroom and demand Meg to definitively tell her whether it was Jack’s old room or not.  They ate pizza with Jen and hit Target for a new pair of hip peace symbol pajamas.

On Friday morning, Maria got the present of her life – a day off of school due to the ice accumulation.  Poor Meg had to deal with the school closing (Jon and I lucked out!).  Not only did she need to deal with the school closing – she had to deal with a migraine and vomiting.  We would have never known had Maria not left me a voice mail that I got when I returned home on Saturday that went something like this: “Mom, please call me as soon as you hear this message.  Something is very wrong with Grandma and we need you to come home.”  Lovely.  Meg ended up feeling better by later in the afternoon and luckily the kids were able to spend a few hours at the neighbors’ house dancing to Gangum Style while she rested.  Mario got to eat chocolate for breakfast and Maria got to fill her cereal bowl with Lucky Charms so all was good with them.

maryjon1Meanwhile, Jon and I ate like 16th century kings and played in the ocean like toddlers.  We are one of few folks from Jon’s work that actually go into the ocean, probably because there are always red flags on the beach (meaning you shouldn’t enter) and because you wouldn’t want to hit the waves if you are the tiniest bit intoxicated.  The waves were angry this year, and Jon and I were hurting after a half hour in the water.  We limped out complaining that our shoulders hurt, our legs were weak, our calves were twitching.  It’s not easy getting old and still acting like you’re two.  But we continued to jump in every day we were there.  We may be immobile for the next two weeks but we did it.

I had a rough Wednesday night and Thursday due to some rockin’ gin and tonics.  There was something about the ocean, full moon and 80’s music that made me do it.  And it will be another year before I do it again.  I just don’t have it in me to recover quickly.  I woke up in my dress Thursday morning with Jon laughing at me.  I felt like I had swallowed a cat.  When I stood up, my legs felt like spaghetti.  I was hurting.  I tried to make it the gym to ride the bike with the hopes of sweating some of those nasty toxins out of me but as soon as I pedaled, it felt like someone was squeezing my head in a vice.  It was no use.  I went back to the room and curled up in a ball.  Jon returned from breakfast and shook his head.

The rest of the day consisted of a facial and a massage and lots of steam room and sauna action.  I refused to leave the steam room until I was dripping in sweat.  Those little alcohol toxins were going to be blasted out of my body somehow if not by exercise.  I ate two entrees for lunch.  We sat with Jon’s colleague, Dave and his wife Jen (the “sporty couple”).  They are always a treat with hilarious stories about their kids or their house or some random event that happened to them. They also give us a little glimpse of what M&M may be like in a few years since their kids are a few years older than ours.

By the evening, I was back with the living.  We had dinner at a fish house with Jon’s boss and others on Jon’s team.  We sat outside and chowed down on crab, lobster and apple pie.  One of Jon’s friends, Craig and his wife Julie (the “healthy couple”) sat with us at dinner.  Craig gets on Jon for eating McDonald’s for breakfast; he gasps when he hears Jon order his breakfast and tries to urge him to eat oatmeal instead. God love him.  There was an ongoing joke at the restaurant that Craig and Jon were “together” since they sat next to one another (I sat across from Jon and Julie and Julie and I decided the boys could have each other).  It led to much laughter through the evening in addition to the laughter that came from discussing 80’s tv shows (Love Boat, Dynasty, Eight is Enough, Chips – it was hilarious to hear the names of these shows that we all grew up with in the 70’s and 80’s).

Friday was a much more friendly day to me.  I had not drunk at all on Thursday night and my body thanked me.  I got out of bed ready to take a run in the heat and hit the gym.  Jon and I hit the breakfast bar together, too, which is one of our favorite things to do on these vacations.  For a girl who loves chocolate and bread, I was in heaven, Chocolate croissants, french toast with almond slices, nutella, chocolate donuts, chocolate muffins.  Maria would have been hitting the bar with me five times over if she was there.  We swam in the ocean again Friday and then met up with the president of Jon’s company and a throng of others to have dinner at a Mayan restaurant.  We sat with a good group of folks including Jon’s colleague, Joe and his wife Lydia (the “chic couple”).  They are precious.  Lydia is Sicilian so Joe had some hilarious stories about dinner with her parents.  He also told us the story of why he enjoys Porsches and VWs so much.  Jon wants to follow in Joe’s footsteps and buy a Porshe.  I told him he could if Joe promises to provide maintenance on so it so we avoid throwing thousands of dollars at a car shop when something goes awry.

We were so full after our dinner on Friday night we could barely move.  We packed up some of our clothes for our 8 am departure on Saturday but then gave up and laid on the bed like two beached whales.  When the morning hit, I did one last run to remember the hot weather (I would much rather run  in cold weather) and then hit the breakfast bar with Jon.  We got to the airport two hours early as the hotel requires us to do and then found out that our flight was delayed three hours.  So we had five hours to kill.  We played Gin Rummy and ate Dominos pizza.  It was the bomb even though Jon is up 7-4 on me.  But I did win our one and only game of Crazy Eights.  Yeah, I’m bad.

We arrived home late Saturday night and called the kids.  They were so excited to hear from us they couldn’t stop grabbing the phone from one another.  That felt good.  Meg said that Maria cried for me when the night-time rolled around – sweet baby.  Mario got me on the phone to tell me he thought of me when he looked at the sky and he wanted to see me – second sweet baby.  I hung up the phone feeling loved.  The kids reported their adventures when they returned from the farm – Mario helped Peepaw cut a trail in the woods (he showed me his cuts from the thorns); Maria helped Peepaw clean bird nests and found two blue eggs and Meg taught her the process of sewing (that is a talent we need in this house).  Both kids got to go fishing on Saturday when it was a tepid 45 degrees outside. They got some bites but no fish.

mariamarioWhen they arrived home on Sunday, I ran out to greet them.  I got two of the longest, strongest hugs in a while and sat on my knees enjoying them.  Then I got pulled inside to look at Maria’s eggs and to show Mario where the iPad was so he could play on it – he hadn’t been around technology for two whole days!  Maria was by his side within minutes helping him try to buy gold coins to use in his Spiderman game.  And we are back to normal….

I knew my daughter would be…

I always doubted when parents would say “I knew my child was going to be a veterinarian when….” Really? You gathered that your daughter would be a vet when she rubbed a kitten’s belly and it purred?! It seemed more the parent’s wish than the innate skills of the child.

But that skepticism was blown to pieces when Maria brought Jon and I together to resolve a spat we were having. Ri had overheard us bickering and came to the rescue. We had been bickering about something she didn’t need to know about so I made up something when she asked the problem. She sat Jon and me down opposite one another and had me explain the issue.

Me: “I wanted dad to take me to lunch today and he couldn’t.”

Maria: “Is that true, dad?”

Dad: “Yes, bu-”

Maria: “Hold on. Just answer the question, dad. Now mom, when did you tell dad you wanted to go to lunch?”

Me: “I called him at lunchtime.”

Maria: “So you waited until lunch to tell him you wanted to go to lunch? Do you understand he has work to do?”

Me: “Well he’s usually available.”

Dad: “I have asked your mom to lunch a bunch of times and she always says she’s too busy.”

Maria: “Really? Is that true, mom?”

Me: “Yes.”

Maria: “Then it seems that dad has tried to go to lunch with you in the past and you’ve always said no. Does that seem fair to get mad at him because he was working and couldn’t take you today?”

Me: “I guess not.”

I am an attorney but I have no particular desire to have my kids go into the profession. However, after the cross-examination from Ri, I can definitely see it. If she does become a lawyer, I will look back at that moment in time and say “I knew my daughter would be a lawyer the night she sat my hubby and I down…”

Then again, I could probably say the same if she became a psychologist or marriage counselor because after her grilling of us she gave us advice on spending time together by finding a place where I could eat chocolate and Jon could eat a sandwich and we could be together for a while alone.

Piece of work, she is.

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Valentine wish

To my Valentines:

You go to bed too late
You rarely clean up your rooms
You are louder than a cheering crowd
But you certainly make your mama proud.

You love to eat sugary nonsense
You forget to brush your teeth
You complain about a bath
But you sure do make your mama laugh.

You stomp through the house
Tracking dirt and toys everywhere
You whine when I make you clean your piles
But you always make your mama smile.

You love to jump all over the house
You are addicted to technology
You wrestle and play fight all night long
But you sure do make your mama strong.

So on this Valentine’s Day
Will you do me a big favor?
Will you never change a thing about you?
Because mama adores you and dad does too!

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Weekend wrap-up

Big Mario, as we affectionally call our Italian cousin, celebrated his 60th birthday last night with a surprise party at a restaurant near his home in Dover. Jon, the kids and I drove to Dover yesterday at 3 pm in order to be there by 5 and avoid ruining the surprise by pulling in at 5:30 with Big Mario. I was feeling a little “puny” (as Patty calls it) on the way out but the birthday sheet cake boosted my spirits. Ri enjoyed dipping her fried chicken in ranch dressing. Mario enjoyed crooning with Larry, Mario’s friend and the singer for the evening.

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Mario was truly surprised and grateful. He went around hugging family and friends. All of his kids made it to the party, which I’m sure meant a lot to him. Jon and I always crack up at Big Mario and how much he wants his kids to stay around him. He would have them all live in his house with him and Vickie if he had his way. On the other hand, Jon and I are dreaming of the day M&M go off to college…. Ha.

Mario was fascinated with Larry’s singing set-up and just stood next to him most of the party. Larry let him sing at one point and Mario chose “Gangum Style.” A little different than Moon River. Maria sat with some older women and listened to them gossip. Her favorite activity at these events. I can just see her gabbing away when she’s 60 years old as she sips her coffee and eats her pie.

We got home at 9:30 and I went straight to bed with M&M. Usually I can sleep off these funks. I felt a tad better this morning. We stayed in and made pancakes and eggs. Ri and I had to improvise on the chocolate chips for the pancakes since Mario ate the rest of the baking chips. We cut up Hershey Kisses into small pieces and added them. Not bad.

Mario saw a dinosaur exhibit at the Convention Center on tv so we decided to give that a whirl. They advertised bouncey houses and dino digs and mining areas. It was $16 admission but I figured we’d be there a good chunk of the day. Maria brought Janira so $50+ dollars later we were looking at mechanical dinosaurs. And that’s all we were doing. It was the biggest rip-off. They had a quarter of the area cornered off with mechanical dinos and the rest was a few bouncey houses and dino digs. The problem was that you had to pay another $20 per kid to play in those areas. Unfrickenbelievable. I was so irritated. So, in the end, I paid over $50 to see ten dinosaurs. We were there less than 30 minutes.

The other parents walking out with me were just as pissed. And I felt for a lot of them who told me they saved up to come only to have their money wasted on nothing. I complained to the people taking money about the false advertising but that was like talking to air. Whatever, I made myself let it go but those dino promoters will get theirs someday.

Ri and Janira had begged to sit in the massage chairs prior to the dino exhibit and I had said no. When we left, that was our only saving grace. Mario treated the girls to a massage ($1 each) and they were in heaven thanking him over and over again.

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So, what to do at noon on a winter Sunday? I tried to get them to head to Barnes and Noble but they wanted a bouncey house. The only place I could think of was Galaxy Games and Golf. They were game. I think half of Columbus was there with us and it didn’t help my headache at all but the kids did expend some serious energy. Somehow that still doesn’t tend to equate with an early bed time, however.

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And now, a pizza, cookie and coke later, we are heading home for some relaxation and some Spa Science in the tub. I’m hoping that Ri can create an elixir to take all my winter cold aches away, and make my stomach feel better after that delicious meal at Galaxy Games and Golf.

Love to munchos

Love to my munchos:

I loved reading to you last night. Mario, I wanted to eat you up when you laughed hysterically at the dinosaur holding a sword. Maria, I wanted to stop time when you laid your head on my lap and squeezed your arms around my leg.

I loved that you both didn’t throw a fit when dad and I asked you to take a shower! How pleasant it was to not deal with pleas of “just five more minutes before a shower!” Mario, you crack us up with your hair washing trick. You’ve always been so scared of shampoo in your eyes so you brilliantly came up with a Mario maneuver. You strategically place a wash cloth in the middle of the shower. You put shampoo in your hand. You close your eyes and rub shampoo in your hair. You reach down, eyes firmly shut, and grab the wash cloth. You put it over your eyes. You put your entire body under the shower head and let the shampoo wash out all over your face. You remove the wash cloth and yell “See mom, I protected my eyes from the shampoo!” You beg Maria to watch the entire process, and then dad (Ri gets a snapshot!). Your hair is sufficiently washed, I’d say.

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And Ri, you crack us up with your intense joy. When I walk in to check on you, you are standing in the shower patting your belly. You have a huge grin on your face. I ask what you are doing and you start belly laughing. “Mom, what do you think I’m doing?! I’m taking a shower!” What a card you are. Then you get out and pat your belly some more all the while cooing to it “I love you round belly, I just love you.” You run upstairs and grab your beauty gadgets to do my hair. You dash back into the bathroom looking like a mad woman and scream “Come on lady, you need a new hair-do!”

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And I loved putting you to bed last night. I love that you enjoy foot massages, Ri. And Mario I love that you sit on me like a little Buddha statute and want me to read you a million books. I love your quiet selves, sleeping like little bear cubs. I watched you both last night while you laid conked out and wanted to eat you up. How awesome that I can walk 20 feet and lay witness to such perfect little munchos.

Dreaded Monday mornings

I really think there should be a two-hour delay every Monday morning. We are never prepared for Monday morning. You’d think we partied all weekend by the way we sluggishly rise and mope around the halls looking like we just lost our favorite puppy. And god help the one that actually tries to be upbeat.

“Hey there sourpuss! Put a smile on your face!”

“Ahhh! Get away from me!”
“Stoooooop. Ugh!”

Or just the dreaded stare of evil. It’s safer to just be quiet and move on. Get the day started in silence.

We have gymnastics on Monday nights now so the day ends on a much more lively note. There are smiles and pleasant conversation and even wild laughter as they exit the car and head to class.

So, on second thought, maybe we just need to sleep through Monday mornings and afternoons and start the week at 6pm with gymnastics and smiles.

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