Category: Parenting

No snow but lotsa ice cream!

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We woke up this morning dejected.  The supposed 4 inches of snow that should have blanketed our lawn turned out to be a dusting of white powder atop our green grass.  The kids looked out the window and sighed.  But although Old Man Winter failed to appear through snow, he did appear through frigid temperatures. 

-1 degrees with wind chill. 

No run for me this morning.  Instead, I hit the 8 am yoga class downtown with the hopes that everyone else slept in under their covers.  Not so lucky.  It was packed with women in their yoga attire and freshly painted toenails and perky little ponytails.  How awful and judgmental am I?  Jon always gets on me when I start describing people like this.  And he’s right.  The reason why they annoy me so much is because I secretly want a pair of yoga pants instead of my ten-year old adidas capris, and I secretly want bright candy red nail polish on my nasty, beat-down toes.  So, I’m jealous – I admit it.  Class was ok – I got spoiled with my very first instructor who whooped me up and made me feel like I had run a marathon after her class.  Everyone else pales in comparison (as Jon says to me “they teach like normal people, Mary!”).

Maggie came over at 11 am to watch the kids while Jon and I hit the Container Store to order a custom designed closet.  Whoo-hoo!  I would post a picture of our closet to let you see the disaster it is but it would be way too embarrassing (and that is from someone who is rarely embarrassed).  The store personnel were great – very friendly and efficient.  Our designer worked a layout for us and within 45 minutes, we had purchased the materials and installation for our bedroom closet.  Awesome.  When we got home, Ms. Maggie had bathed out children – a feat we had not accomplished in two days.  She even got Mario to wash his hair (a feat I have not accomplished in a week) and Maria to let her brush her hair.  Maria’s hair looks gorgeous when you actually brush it (imagine that).  We have Maggie sitting for us this Summer and we cannot wait – she is going to have these kids whooped into shape so quickly that Jon and I are going to be put to shame.  We have no problem with shame. 

Maria’s friend Gwen came over at 2 pm.  I was skeptical as to whether we should keep Alana over when Gwen came but these are 6-year-old girls – there couldn’t be too much drama, heh?!  Actually, they played well together without any drama; a few spats here and there but no drama.  They trashed the basement by having a “paper party” (consisting of throwing paper all over the place); demolished Maria’s room by spreading barbies and clothes all over; and trashed the kitchen by making crafts.  I had gotten them interested in Wii Just Dance but I noticed Gwen sitting on the chair looking bored and a little sad.  I asked her if she liked to dance and she shook her head “no.”  So, we moved onto a different activity – crafts.  

Maria with her TP doll

Gwen told me she loved to draw and so it was an easy choice.  Maria and Alana went with it, too.  We made toilet paper dolls (I did not make that craft up – I found the idea on the internet!).  The girls also tried to one up each other by drawing on themselves with magic marker.  Alana drew on her hand, Gwen on her finger, Maria … on her neck.  Yes, a giant butterfly with different colors across her neck.  She cried when I told her that dad would be so upset and told me with big tears rolling down her face: “I was just trying to be funny.”  That is her thing – she likes to make people laugh by going to the very edge – or over sometimes.  I love her for that trait but also worry about it.  We need to temper it a bit.  We got most of the butterfly off and Maria moved onto stickers. 

After crafts, we had to get out of the house for a bit.  Not so much for the kids but for me.  I know I have ADD – the folks should have diagnosed me years ago but then I would have been on drugs for way too long so I am glad they didn’t.  And it could be worse – I could sit on the couch all day watching Ellen.  We headed to Graeter’s playland for some running around and some ice cream (a tad hypocritical).  If I could eat Graeter’s for every meal, I would be one happy camper.  I love their chocolate chocolate chip.  I love their peanut butter chip.  I guess I simply love anything chip.  The girls loved the see-saw until some other kids moved in and bothered them.  They moved on to the slide and the tree house.  Some boys began teasing Mario on the slide, and Maria took care of them.  She protected that boy like a vicious guard dog making sure that they stayed away from him.  I was even scared.  After playing, we enjoyed some yummy ice cream.  Alana got strawberry (ugh!), Mario got 2 dips of chocolate chip (and left some for me god love him) and Maria and Gwen split a chocolate banana split.  They went to town on that thing.  I think Gwen has Maria’s appetite so the two of them together ate that split in record time.  Alana hadn’t even made a dent in her cone.  On the way home, the girls looked out the back window and talked to drivers behind us saying things like “Come on slow poke, catch up!” or “That woman looks old and look at that man…”  They giggled the entire way home.  It reminded me of me and my girlfriend, Beth when we would take road trips as young girls.  The innocence and slapstick and giddiness.

We ended the night with pjs and toothbrushing and helicoptering (until Alana bumped her head on the bed headboard).  Oh, and some ice cream sandwiches just to make sure we got our fill of milk and sugar for the day.

I just read what?!

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I read an article about reading to kids yesterday.  Yet another piece of reading that makes you wonder whether you are doing all that you can as a parent.  Heck, up until I read the article, I had been charged up because I have been pretty good about reading books to M&M every night.   But now I have to worry about whether my mere reading to them is even doing anything beneficial for them or whether I might as well sit them in front of the tv to watch SpongeBob every night.

Reading a little Dr. Seuss

When I got home with the kids after work, I set aside two library books to read after dinner.  Things never quite go as planned on school nights because dinner and showers and playtime get in the way.  Before we know it, the clock says 9:00 and we still haven’t read a book.  So, I picked one of the two books and sat between the kids.  The winner was Hot Hot Hot – a book about wooly mammoths and the Ice Age.  The mammoths get hot because Summer comes around and they don’t know what to do.  Ice melts when they lift it up in the sky.  “Why does the ice melt?” I ask them.  Maria chimes in “because the sun melts it.”  Nice job.  One for Ri.  The next page shows the mammoths cutting off their hair.  “Why would they do that?” Mario raises his hand and bursts out “because they are hot and that will cool them off!”  Rock-n-roll Mario! One mammoth fans the other but that mammoth gets hot from continuously fanning the other.  I ask them “why would that mammoth get hot” 

Maria responds “because the mammoth has to keep fanning the other one and is not getting any air himself.”  Mario responds “it’s not nice of the other mammoth to get fanned all the time and not fan her friend, too.”  Different explanations – both well thought-out – they are geniuses!   All of my nightly reading has paid off – they comprehend the stories and are brilliant.  I can stop worrying now.  Yeah, right.  I can just channel my worry to one of a mama’s many other concerns: are they eating healthy enough, are they getting enough exercise, are they adapting socially….

Dogs and Hamsters and a Super Bowl, Oh My

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This past weekend was one of those weekends where you wake up Monday morning feeling you totally took advantage of the weekend’s purpose – to relax, be silly, watch football, and eat chips while vegging in your pjs.

On Friday, Jon and I took Mario to the hockey game. Maria had to make the executive decision on whether to go to Kids Night Out at school or to the game with us. It was a brutal decision because she had her girlfriend asking if she was coming to Kids Night Out but she had her dad going to the hockey game. She LOVES hanging with her dad lately, especially when it’s dad and mom and Mario (she is the pack dog). But, ultimately a brief description of the hockey game (watching boys skate on ice and try to hit a puck in a goal) led her to choose Kids Night Out with popcorn, grape juice, friends and a movie. The pack dog strays when there is food and entertainment….

Mario loved the hockey game. He ate his favorite food – a hot dog – and watched the players skate along the ice and hit each other up against the wall.  Jon and I thought he might enjoy that activity more than he did since he is all into fighting.  Rather, he enjoyed hanging on the railing and talking to the older boys behind us in the box.  He also enjoyed the cheerleaders…. We left the game during the third quarter and picked up Maria.  It seems that every time I see her at school, she is even older and more independent.  She reminds me of me when I was in fourth and fifth grade (probably like when I was in first grade, too, but I can’t remember that time at all!) hanging out with my girl posse.  When I picked her up, she was laughing with her three girlfriends and they were falling all over each other.  Too cute. 

On Saturday, we headed to Hamilton Parker to find tile for our bathroom.  The kids ran around checking out the showroom showers and the kids’ room while Jon and I talked to the sales guy.  Maria explained where everything was in the showroom since she had come to the store with me back in September.  “Buddy, the kids’ room is over here and it has a tv.”  Mario’s response: “Will the tv have Godzilla?”  Maria’s reply: “We’ll see buddy and if it doesn’t, we”ll find something else for you.”  The way she calls him “buddy” makes our hearts melt.  After Hamilton Parker, we headed to BW-3’s for some wings and nachos.  Nothin’ like a healthy lunch.  We waddled out to the front of the restaurant and the kids begged to play a game.  They put a dollar in a chicken and egg machine and each of them got a plastic egg.  Maria scored a tattoo and Mario scored a little orange plastic cone that had the words “Back away slowly.”  I read it to Mario and he laughed “I know, mom and dad, I am going to put this in my room and when you walk in, you will have to walk back slowly.” 

We headed to the pet store in the late afternoon to torture ourselves by holding sweet little precious pups that needed a home.  Maria always picks the most docile puppies that love to be held.  She sits in the little room with them caressing and talking to them.  Mario hangs out at the hamster bin trying to put the hamsters on the exercise wheel or in the tire.  They run from him like he is death.  Mario does not have quite the touch with the pups like Maria does.  He likes to put them on the ground and watch them run around and play.  If they don’t move much, he picks another.  I can usually handle about 45 minutes in that store because it is such a madhouse of people but I made it an hour on Saturday.  When we left, Maria begged to go on Sunday. 

On Sunday, I skipped yoga because Maria and Mario begged me to stay home.  We ate cereal and read books.  Maria and I went on a stroller ride to the store to get pencils for her class project – a timeline of her life – all 6 years.  We headed out to Dirty Franks for lunch (yeah, two for two on the healthy lunch front for the weekend!).  When we returned, the kids and I took a bike ride to the library to grab some movies and new books.  Maria and I watched Mario ahead of us – his little legs pushing the clunky wheels of his tricycle.  He wants so badly to lead the group but usually Maria cannot help but bolt ahead because she is on a two-wheeler bike and can’t easily slow down without falling off.  But I held onto her on this bike ride so Mario could take the lead and he was one proud puppy.  When an older lady passed him, he stopped and said hello to her.  When we stopped at the library, he said “Mom, an old lady said hi to me and I said hi to her back.  I stopped my bike and everything. Are you proud of me?”

We headed to Kroger’s before the Super Bowl and Maria and I stocked up on chips and dip.  Maria was grabbing all sorts of dips and chips for our party arguing that “it is the Super Bowl – we had to have a real party!”  When we got home, we turned on the Super Bowl and watched all of the commercials.  We all sat on the couch together – Mario on Jon’s arm playing Leapster, Maria in between Jon and me.  She loved it.  She kept saying “I love cuddling with my mom and dad and brother.”  We have got to start up family movie nights.  Maria fell asleep with 30 seconds left of the Super Bowl.  Mario remained wide awake playing his Leapster Ben Ten game.  I dragged him upstairs with me to hit the sack, and we were both out cold in three minutes flat.

Sparkle

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Maria forgot to bring her book home tonight from school so I made her read a book here at the house for 15 minutes.  You’d think I would have told her she was never leaving the house again.  After she stopped whining, we chose the Sparkle Like a Flower Fairy book that she bought from Half Price Books this weekend.  We agreed I would read a page and then she would read a page.  The book has a paper necklace, crown, bracelet and wand scattered throughout the pages for little girls to wear while they read. 

Maria is reading so well lately, and I love to listen to her. She and I got through most of the book before Mario started complaining of feeling bad (poor guy just can’t kick this sickness).  I asked if I could take her picture real quick with all of her “jewelry” on and she agreed.  After the picture, she said: “Mom, I think you should put that picture on your blog and say ‘Maria and I read Sparkle Like a Flower Fairy tonight.  Fairies sparkle in the sky.  Maria put on all of the jewelry in the book.  Little did I know we had a fairy right here in our house.'”  I gasped when she finished, especially at the last sentence because it sounded so much like something I would say. 

I hugged her tight and told her how proud I was of her.  She reciprocated the big hug and relied with a smile “Mommy.”

No More Medical Professionals Please!

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“Mom, when do we get to go home?  I want to go now, mom, please.”

Maria enjoying the dentist

Mario bellowed those words over and over this morning.  I subjected the poor boy to a double dose of fun – the dentist and the doctor – and I am quite sure he will mention the indelible trauma it caused him 30 years from now.  Maria has never minded the dentist or the doctor.  She did not want to leave on her first dentist trip; she kept asking questions to the dentist, and was pumped when she got to take a sticker out of a big plastic tooth.  Today was no different.  She burst into tears at 6 am this morning when I told her we may not go to the dentist because Mario was spiking a fever. 

“Mom, please, take me to the dentist.  You can just hold Mario and give him your phone to play with.  Please, mom.”

How could I deny her after that pleading?  I don’t want her to blame me for a traumatic event, too.  She walked right into the back room when the dental assistant called her name. When I stood to ask her if she wanted me to go back, she stopped me.   “I am fine, mom.”  Yet another leap away from needing her mama.  Proud…but kinda sad.  

Mario not enjoying the dentist

Mario sat in the waiting room playing on my I-Pad and asking to download every ninja, hunting, or fighting game he found.  When they called him back, he dutifully walked back trying to continue his play on the IPad while walking (he’s my son).  The dental assistant sat him in the chair and explained that she was going to clean his teeth.  He chose grape flavor and all was good… until she attempted to put her hands in his mouth to clean his teeth.  He clenched.  He cried.  He did not want her near him.  I tried to explain to him that she was not going to hurt him in any way but he wanted nothing to do with her.  He pleaded to go home.  He begged me to take him out of the chair.  Horrible.  Sweet Maria looked around the room trying to find items he might enjoy (a picture of a “hot” girl brushing her teeth, a balloon, and my IPad) but nothing worked.  She told him to hold her hand and that she loved him but that didn’t work either.  It was ridiculous!  My tough-man is not so tough at the dentist. 

So, if I had not tortured him enough at the dentist, I took him to the doctor right after we dropped off Maria at school.  He usually does not mind the doctor, especially when his sister joins us.  But today, I knew it would be different because he had to get a throat swab to check for strep throat.  My stoic Maria even cringes at the thought of the swab check.  But her worse reaction to it was to cry for three minutes and then open up and get it over.  Mario beat her by far.  When the nurse came towards him with the swab, he innately knew something was up.  She had her one chance to get him but she was too slow and when she stuck it in his mouth as he opened up for her, she must have hit the roof of his mouth and he closed up immediately.  She didn’t get the swab, and there was no way she was going to get it.  He was beyond pissed off at every  medical professional now.  He sobbed, he hyperventilated, he begged to leave or at least “wait until later.”  It lasted an entire fifteen minutes until the nurse left and even then, he laid like a wet noodle in my arms.  Eventually he got back into the IPad but then the doctor came in the room.  Luckily, she was good with him and asked him all the questions that would engage him (who is your favorite superhero, what did you get for Christmas, what is your favorite IPad game). 

Nevertheless, when she took another swab out of the jar, he freaked.  There is nothing worse than having your son beg you to help him through what he believes to be a horrid situation and the only thing you can do is put him in a hold-down and be complicit in the horrid act.  But again, this doctor came through and tricked Mario and me.  She asked him to open his mouth just so she could shine a light on his throat (what she did earlier) and then she quickly and precisely jabbed the swab in his throat.  When she took it out, he realized what had happened and looked at me in disbelief.  I praised him like he had just won the Olympics.  When we walked out, he looked up at me and asked “Are you proud of me, mom?”  My sweet babe.  We took a long walk in the stroller and he fell asleep due to all of the trauma of the day.  I stopped and stared at him for a long time.  My doll baby.   

All I know is that I am scheduling the next appointment for Mairo on a day when Jon is in town!

A Sunday

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Highlights of our Sunday:

Wrestling with dad.

Eating bagels and cream cheese with Grandma Lolo at the counter of the Marx’s Bagel Shop and meeting the Bagelman in person!

Visiting Grandma Menkedick at her nursing home; reciting the ABC’s and telling a story to her (Mario); playing the Partly Cloudy movie for her and talking about school (Maria); just being near her and listening (me). 

Playing dress up at Grandma Lolo’s complete with a bright red pair of shoes and red sash (Maria).

Flexing chest muscles in Grandma Lolo’s kid friendly mirror and play fighting with himself (Mario). 

Seeing sweet Gracie-poo’s face beam when Maria and Mario walked in Aunt Julie’s front door and hearing her baby voice ask “Maria, do you want to play with me in the basement?”

Listening to Maria, Mario and Grace play mom, sister and brother, and watching Maria help Gracie go potty (she is getting to be such a big girl!).

Laughing with Liz and Aunt Julie and reminiscing about Grandma Heile.

Seeing Laura and listening to her explain to Maria that she must remember the names of nail polish colors on the nail polish bottle if she chooses to wear polish.  Maria did not know the name of the polish she was wearing; Laura told her that she was wearing Black on Black on her nails.  Laura explained that nail polish colors always had fun names.  Maria asked her what the name would be of the color of Laura’s scarf if it were polish.  Laura asked Maria what she would name it.  “Blueberry,” she responded.  Then Maria asked for Laura’s response.  “Blue lagoon” I believe she said.  Maria was intrigued.  The magic in those moments.

Eating Larosa’s pizza.

Driving home under the deep black sky and looking back to see my two precious, inspiring babes deep in sleep, heads limp, mouths open, breathing heavy.

Raising the spirits with Pixar and George and Martha

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I have been in a little bit of a funk the last week or so.  Winter is bringing me down, down, down.  I miss taking the kids for long walks, heading to the park for picnics, and SUN!  The weekends tend to bring much of the same options: indoor swimming, library, McDonald’s Playland, pet store.  I have been trying all sorts of mind games to get me out of the Winter Blues (Jon being home on the weekends is a god-send for some adult conversation and laughs) but I look back at past years and remember this time of year (end of January and February) all the same. 

Before I left work on Friday, an email popped up about a Gateway Family Fest on Saturday.  I typically delete anything from Gateway because 99% of the time it is a promo for a new bar or a band coming to a new bar.  Not my league anymore….  But I opened this one and saw that they were having something for kids from 10-12.  I got up for my run on Saturday morning early enough that I’d be home by 10 and we could head to Gateway.  However, when I got home my homebody kids did not want to budge.  They wanted to stay in their pjs on the couch.  By the time we took away electronics and told them they’d have to find something else to do, which in turn, pushed them to ask for the Gateway event, it was 11:15.  We arrived at the Gateway Theatre at 11:30 am.  Such a bummer because the 45 minutes we had at the Theatre was a blast.  They had a kids band that succeeded in getting even the most sedentary parents up and moving.  They had balloon artists and crafts (unfortunately, they had packed up when we arrived and I diverted Mario’s and Maria’s eyes from it so they wouldn’t be bummed out).  And they had short movies interspersed between musical sets.  The two we saw were Tom & Jerry and a Pixar film called Partly Cloudy.  Maria and Mario squealed when Tom & Jerry came on the big screen – they love that cartoon and have only seen it in my car.  I squealed in delight after the Pixar film because it was absolutely adorable.  The beginning shows storks delivering cute babies and kitties and puppies to houses.   It moves upward to show all of these white clouds making those sweet puppies and kitties and babies.  Then you see a sole grey cloud trying to make cute little things but instead only able to make alligators that bite, porcupines that prick and rams that butt.  The poor stork helping out the grey cloud looks like he has seen better days but he keeps coming back to the grey cloud to pick up the next little present to deliver.  The stork looks longingly to the bright white clouds and eventually flies away from the grey cloud to the white one.  The grey cloud gets angry and sad and cries his heart out.  The stork returns with a beautiful package.  He opens it and puts on his new football helmet and pads – he is ready for the next hard-to-deliver present from his friend, the grey cloud.  It was the sweetest, most genuine five-minute film I have seen.  Well worth the trip (along with the buttered popcorn!).

I left the theatre feeling a tad more uplifted.  I used the opportunity of having the kids in the car to head to one more place – Half Price Books.  I had been wanting to look for some good books for the kids (and me) for a while and Half Price Books is the best.  Maria scored a Junie B book – she loves those books recently.  Mario found a slew of Superhero books for me to read him while we were there (my book searching did not occur).  After finding a handful of kids’ book, we were on our way out when I saw it like a tulip in the weeds.  A collection of George and Martha.  The two cutest hippos ever.  I used to read them to my baby sis and I believe my mom read them to me. I couldn’t resist purchasing it.  We read ten stories tonight (they are mini versions) with the kids trying to guess which ones were my favorites (Split Pea Soup, The Bathtub). 

I write this blog tonight with the kids still up (10 pm) and Jon and his nephew watching a show about Alaska in the other room.  I stare in front of me at the fresh ruby flowers standing upright in their vase.  I eat buttered popcorn and drink a root beer.  I take a deep breath and slowly exhale.  Life ain’t bad, Mary Grace.  Just breathe and read a little George and Martha.

Tornadoes and Yogurt

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I had our sitter bring the kids to my workplace tonight.  Luckily, most of my colleagues had hit the road when M&M arrived.  They whirled through the lobby like mini-tornadoes ready to ride the elevator and see my office.  Maria avoided a Mario meltdown by letting him push the elevator button to floor 5. Isn’t it strange how obsessed kids get over pushing an elevator button?  I used to think it was because they liked to see the button light up but even when the button doesn’t light, they still go nuts.  And take the buttons off the elevator and put them on a square toy, the buttons are completely boring to them.  Elevator magic.

The tornadoes ripped through my hallway door and into the break room to find snacks.  They know where the goodies are at my work.  After the break room, they corkscrewed themselves into my office to find more candies.  They also enjoyed sitting in my chair and acting like the “boss.”  On our way down the elevator (Maria again conceded the button pushing to Mario – such a good sis), they both commented about how cool my office was and how they wish they could work there.  Little darlins’ – at least they think so. 

They had the college kids cracking up outside.  Mario jumped on the stone resting areas and performed dance moves for all the world to see.  Maria followed suit until she noticed a college kid staring at her – she quickly jumped down.  Mario, however, basked in it.  It took bribing him with my phone to get him to walk to the car.  But before the car, we had to go to the fifth level of the parking garage.  Again, the fascination with parking garages? They got to the fifth floor and found the vacant lot awe-inspiring.  Maybe they will be architects or… valets.

We hit Orange Leaf with our cousin Maggie soon after leaving my work.  They were out of my favorite combination, chocolate and peanut butter.  Maria got her usual array of flavors: gingerbread, wedding cake, red velvet cake, and vanilla.  I monitored the toppings so she only landed one brownie, fruity pebbles, broken cone, oreos, and vanilla and butterscotch topping (I feel someone calling Child’s Services on me but really, it was only a speck of all of those toppings!).  Mario, on the other hand, opted for one flavor – pineapple – and no toppings at all.  Strange little being, he is. 

After Orange Leaf, we came home to a quiet house with no tv on, no washer churning and no pets roaming.  All of us noticed how calm it was.  You could hear a pin drop.  And then Mario screamed – just for the sheer fun of it – and Maria joined in a second later.  I turned around ready to cuss them out but when I looked over, I saw their ornery, angelic faces wide with laughter.  I decided to add a scream to the mix myself, and we all fell forward in a hard, belly laugh.

Books, books, books!

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One of my favorite activities with the kids in the evening is reading books, especially when they are good.  Sounds logical but I can’t believe how many library books I bring home that are sub par.  I treasure the nights when we are all in our pj’s, cuddled together on the bed: Maria laying down with her head near one leg and Mario snug as a bug against  both legs.  They interact with me as I read the book and I see their minds expanding right before my eyes. 

I ran to the library tonight to return some past due books (why is it so hard to return library books on time?!) and to give me a reason to head a few blocks further north to get a double dip UDF ice cream cone.  I didn’t have much time so I just grabbed a handful of books that looked like they may be worthwhile to read.  I got some known favorites – Dr. Seuss and Fancy Nancy but then got a few random, unknown ones.    The kids got to choose two each when I got home.  Maria picked two Fancy Nancy books.  Mario picked Dr. Seuss and a brand new one: Otis and the Tornado by Loren Long. 

A breath of fresh air. A gem.  How couldn’t you fall immediately in love with sweet Otis, the tractor with a huge heart and immense courage? And how couldn’t you feel heavy-hearted for the giant bull “shaking in fear?”  I finished the book and breathed deeply.  The kids yawned in a state of wonder.  When I looked up Loren Long later in the evening, I found out he is from Cincinnati – my hometown.  No wonder the book is so good….

Setting off the emotions… or not…

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The Maria face when she gets her feelings hurt

 

Poor Maria – she has her mom’s emotional curse.  I remember when I was eight years old and I accidentally spilled milk at my grandma’s table.  She looked at me with a frown and disappointingly said “Oh, Mary Grace.”  That was enough to send me over the edge and I cried in her bedroom for 15 minutes until she came in to tell me it was alright and she still loved me. 

Tonight, Maria stuck her tongue out at Jon at the dinner table.  She did it playfully but Jon and I are trying to teach her that even if done in a playful manner, it is still not appropriate.  Jon firmly counseled her on not sticking her tongue out at him or others.  As soon as he finished, I could see her eyes begin to water and her fine little mouth begin to quiver.  Jon and I looked at each other knowing that she was starting to cry.  But tonight, instead of crying, she closed off completely.  She just stopped talking to either of us.  I asked her questions about her day to try to provoke her to talk but she informed me that she did not wish to talk during dinner.  Jon and I gave each other the “oh, my” looks and continued to eat and engage with Mario.  After I tried to talk to her a few more times, and we could tell that she was wanting to come out of her muteness, Jon finally asked her to tell him what was wrong.  She wanted to tell me first because she and I have a pact that she can tell me anything and I will always listen (she remembered that the other night when she wanted to tell me about getting mad at a friend at school; she tugged at my shirt in the living room and said “remember how you told me I could tell you anything, well…” – I love that she is taking me up on it). 

Jon told her she could talk to him, too, and so she laid it out to him.  “You made me sad, dad.”  He couldn’t stand hearing that from her and took her close to him to give her a big hug.  “You can’t stick your tongue out but that does not mean I don’t love you, Maria.”  He tickled her sides, and they laughed together.  I was proud that she told him her feelings and looked him in the eye.  A good sign.  She can’t stand to be angry at Jon or I for too long.  She is like a pack dog – she needs the pack to be together and if they are not, she fixes it pretty quickly. 

The Mario face when gets his feelings hurt

Mario, on the other hand, would have ignored us for all of dinner and cared less that Jon scolded him.  He can hold a grudge for a while.  He is more like a stray dog, independent of any pack, ready to take on the world by himself.  If Jon and I want to support him, great.  If not, he will go at it on his own….  Even though he certainly depends on us when it comes to wanting to play on our Ipads or Iphones.  At those times, he can play the sweet, adoring, darling role real well.