Being conscious of treasures

We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures.  ~Thornton Wilder

I am making a conscious effort each day to step back at certain moments in time, be it with the kids or work colleagues or Jon or by myself, and appreciate the moment for what it offers to me.  These small retreats build up, and by the time evening rolls in and I am putting on my pjs alongside Maria and Mario, I generally feel grateful for what life has offered me through the day (there are those rare evenings where even a day full of wonderful moments can be demolished by a child going through a temper tantrum). 

There are tons of books and magazines and blog sites touting the benefits of gratitude but it’s not until you actually make that conscious effort of practicing it that it hits home.  I feel more serene when I go to sleep, more hopeful during my day, more positive in my outlook.  Overall, I guess I would say I am more “happy” – whatever that looks like. I simply feel more alive and more connected.

Today, I got to take a run in the morning for the first time in two weeks.  Jon stayed with Mario while I ran through the neighborhood and lifted weights at the gym.  Listening to NPR for 45 minutes was the best gift I could receive from Jon.  On my run home, as I listened to Michael Jackson’s Beat It and looked at the gardens lining our street, I had one of those step-back moments.  I felt an intense swelling of gratitude for Jon, and his selflessness in letting me get up in the mornings to do the thing I love to do.  I also felt grateful for my legs – yeah, my legs!  For allowing me to be able to run the distance I am able to run and let my mind drift as I listen to stories and news on NPR.  It is such a treasure for me.

Later in the day, when I came home from work to find Mario and Jon already back from school, I felt that surge of gratitude rise again.  Mario popped out of the family room with a whopping smile on his face telling me to close my eyes.  When I opened, he had his home-made graduation cap on his head and the same smile across his face. 

“I graduated today, mom!”

Some in his class graduated to Kindergarten today but they let all of the kids make caps (always politically correct).  He was so proud of his creation.  We took a bike ride later to get his haircut, and while on the bike, he asked me to sing to him.  I sang him a rhyming song about how much I loved my boy cuz he was just like a toy, and his toes tasted like soy… (yeah, I know, pretty lame except to a four-year old), and he turned around laughing at me.  It was the sweetest moment.  I replay it in my head as I sit here tonight, and it still makes me smile as I think about it.  When we got to the salon, he made me move away from him while the gal cut his hair because he wanted to be alone with her.  He wanted to tell her how he wanted his hair.  I sat in the seat up front the entire time without him ever calling out for me.  When she finished, he got out of his chair, and walked over to me. 

“What do you think, mom?”

“You look awesome, dude.”

He walked over to the mirror and put his hand through his hair, and nodded his head up and down.  He knew he looked good.  Man, I am grateful for that nut. 

When we got home, Jon told me that he called Maria at Grandma Ionno’s house.  Patty told him how Maria kept her and Joe laughing throughout the day with her quips.  She was telling a story to Patty and Joe and Joe closed his eyes.  She looked at Patty and said “I guess the story was a little long – no wonder Grandpa fell asleep!”  That girl has got a personality to last a lifetime, and I am grateful beyond words to have her in my life (and I miss her like mad – get home, pumpkin girl!).

I am thankful for this consciousness of treasures I continue to sharpen in my daily life.  Now, off to a good-night’s sleep.

Bugs and letters

Mario woke up crying on Tuesday morning at 1 am. We went to the bathroom since he was complaining of stomach pains but no luck there. A half hour later, we were back in there again but this time he threw up. And threw up more. And this was the rest of our night. He finally fell asleep at 5:30 am and slept for a good two hours (took me back to the days when he was nursing!).

We left for the doctor’s appointment at 11 am and by noon we were at Children’s Hospital. The doc was concerned that he had appendicitis. All I could think of was emergency surgery, no Jon, recovery time, would he make it through…. I kept a smile on for Mario, though, who was a trooper through the tests and probes. After five hours, we got the news.

He has gas.

Ok, he actually had a gastrointestinal virus that caused his stomach ache and gas but I find the gas prognosis much more comical. It’s one of those things where you never wish for a serious prognosis but you also think “I just sat in this ER for five hours to hear that he has gas?!”

We went home and watched more Ben Ten then I ever care to watch again and ate Popsicles. By Wednesday morning, he was up and running and back to his Mario self. Unfortunately, all of the cuddling the day before transferred the bug my way and I was twisting and turning in bed wanting to feel better.

I knew how much Mario wanted to go to Swim Team try outs though so I got my tired self up and took him. He had to kick on the kick board and float on his back. He had to swim the breaststroke and freestyle. He did really well and his “coach” for the day, Lauren, told him so. She also told him she would look for him next week at practice. He shyly looked away and said “ok.”

He jumped out of the pool and dried off. Then he looked up at me and said “Mom, I am going to make Lauren a card that says thank you for teaching me to swim … and I am going to give her three dollars”

Bless his little heart. He hates to give away any money so for him to give her three bucks means she made a heck of an impression on him.

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When we got home, he had a card waiting for him from Maria.

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I read it to him and he just stared at it. When he finally looked up, he said “I really miss Ria.” I asked if he wanted to send her a card at Grandma Ionno’s house but he declined. He was off and playing with his Omnitrix. One letter was good enough for him.

Memorial Day memories

We spent Memorial Day without Jon but with his family. We met up with Patty and Joe at their new condo and Patrick, Carrie, Alana, and Gio joined up with us, too. The condo is perfect for family get togethers – it has a downstairs set up for the kids and big windows that allow you to see to the pond out back (and therefore relax in the AC while the kids play in the sun). Patty is very happy with the move, which makes it even more wonderful to visit. She already has it feeling like home, and the kids run around like they’ve been there for years.

We started the day off with a swim at the country club next to the condo. As Patty and I said together, they better be ready for this family! The pool was really deep – the lowest end was 4 feet – but it was great fun for the kids. Everyone can swim but Gio and they had a baby pool. Maria and Mario jumped off the diving board a lot – Maria did the mid-air splits and Mario did the cannonball.

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I was exhausted to the point of not even wanting to move but being with the kids and having some wind hit us (at least it wasn’t 95 degrees) made me perk up. Patty had all of her new neighbors walking up and talking to her and Joe – she is already a social butterfly around the grounds! They enjoyed watching M&M jump off the diving board.

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We stayed a good three hours before heading back to the condo. I appreciated the swimming after I looked at the food we were eating for dinner. Delicious steak, baked beans, and potato salad. Home made and all! I just ate and ate and just when I couldn’t eat any more, I ate cookies for dessert. Pure heaven.

The boys fished after dinner (Uncle Patrick caught a blue gill) and drank lemonade on the bank. What a good life. Maria and Alana played dress-up and sang BTR songs.

Mario and I took off at 7 or so. Maria got to stay with Grandma and Grandpa since she is out of school. She was so excited. Mario was mighty mad. But he was so tired from swimming like a fish that he soon got over it and snoozed in the back the entire ride home.

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When I pulled up to the house at 8, I gently took him out of his seat and carried him to the bed. I laid him down softly with a smile on my face thinking about having a couple of hours of peace before bed. But as I moved away from the bed, he popped up and smiled “I was faking mom!”

Yeah, alone time was not in the cards for me this holiday weekend, but I wouldn’t have changed a thing.

Wearing him out

I have achieved the ultimate feat.  I have conquered.  I have prevailed.

I tired Mario out today!

He got stuck with his mom all day while Maria got to hang with Emi and Eli.  Eli had a dance recital at the Rife Center (big time!) and Sherri called me to see if Ri wanted to go.  That is a no brainer.  Time with Emi and Eli versus time with mom and Mario.  Yeah, E&E every time. 

Mario and I dropped off Maria at 9:45 am.  On the way over to their house, Maria tried to teach Mario some letter recognition.  She is a born teacher taking after all of her Heile aunts.  She showed me Mario’s “grades” when she got out of the car.  She had a letter on the left side of the page and then anything from an “A+” to a “F-” on the right side of the page.  SHe reported to me that Mario had way too many grades under a “C” and two “F-s”.  I really needed to work with him if he was going to get better.  Yes, Ms. Teacher.

Mario and I headed to Giant Eagle first to get a watermelon for tomorrow but ended up with $90 worth of groceries, too.  Next, we swung down to Target to buy him a scuba set since he has been wanting to wear scuba gear for ages (a man after Papa Rod’s heart).  After Target, we unloaded the car and got on our bathing suits.  He agreed to a stroller ride to the pool so that I could get in a little run.  I was drenched by the time we arrived since it was already 88 degrees out at noon.  We “fought” in the pool throwing each other around and swimming away from each other.  We dove off the low dives (Mario loves doing cannonballs now).  We played in the baby pool.  We stayed for an entire three hours, which is long for us, and especially me since I entertained him the entire time.  We got a piece of pizza before we left and chowed it down on the picnic table.  All of the carbs added to the exercise must have done it.  Mario was out within five minutes of hitting the stroller seat.  I walked around town for an hour in order to let him sleep (as soon as you take him out of the stroller, he wakes up – he was like that even as a baby).  He finally woke up, and was in a lovely, cranky, “where am I” mood.  We walked in the house and he fell to the floor in the mud room.  He was still tired!  I could not believe my eyes.  This boy has not taken a nap for us in months, and even if he does, it is usually not longer than 45 minutes and he wakes up energized as ever. 

When he finally did get up, he was still exhausted.  I took a shower and he played on the computer.  We both looked like we had gotten run over by a mack truck.  We picked up Maria at 6 pm, and came home to veg.  We read some books, played in the sprinkler, took a quick bike ride, and both of them were asleep by 10 pm!  I know most parents are saying “10 pm? That is ridiculously late for kids!”  But not for mine – especially Mario.  His normal bedtime is 11 pm or after (even more so when Jon is gone).  And he still wakes up at 6:30 am.  He is super-human.  But not today – I wore him down to the bone.  Of course, I had high hopes that I could watch Veep or Girls on HBO after they fell asleep but I can barely keep my eyes open.  Seems that he wore me to the bone, too.  Rrrrr!

Passing down perfectionism

Mario has been cracking me up all weekend. He is such a hilarious creature with his quips to me through the day.

I told him a few days ago that I signed him up for baseball. He could hardly control himself he was so excited. Every day he asks me if this is the day he starts practice. He can’t believe he is going to play in actual games, too. When I told him, he just stated at me with a huge smile on his doll-baby face. But after a few seconds, he stopped smiling and looked as if was contemplating life’s deepest question.

“What’s up, bud” I asked him.

“Mom, I am not too worried about the practices but I am not sure if my throw is good enough for the games.”

Gotta love this kid.

I told him that his throw would get better in practices. He responded “I want the coach to think I’m good.” Sorry for my perfectionist tendencies, bud. You obviously picked up on them.

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Speaking of perfectionism, we were all getting ready this morning and standing in front of the mirror combing our respective heads of hair. Mario kept getting closer to the mirror and became fixated on something on his face.

“What is this, mom?” he asked as he pointed at a little pimple on his cheek. I laughed and told him he had his first pimple. It meant he was getting old! He was not so amused and started crying “get it off me, mom! Yuck!”

I told him he’d have to wash his face more often. When we got home from Stauf’s, he went straight upstairs to wash his face. Just a tad vain…(and when I went to take a picture of him, he absolutely refused!).

The life of a pinball

Mario and I met up with Maria and her friend and friend’s mom at 9:30 am at Stauf’s.  The rest of the day is a blur.  Thank god for iced coffees.

We walked down to the parade on First Avenue – the same place we go every year – nearly parallel to our old house but two streets over.  We sat with Amy and Gracie and Joe and made a sign saying “Go Mets” in honor of Zach.  Zach is on the Mets baseball team this year; Amy was so excited to see him in the baseball truck with the other soon-to-be second graders.  All I could do was think of Mario in that truck three years from now, and the only visions of him were ones of him pelting people with tootsie rolls.  There is always one or two little squirts that engage in such activity each year; last year, Mario got pelted in the eye by someone.  So hopefully that horrific experience forever scarred him and he won’t engage in such behavior.

The parade was fun this year because we knew so many kids in it (and they limited the politicians)!  After an hour parade, we gathered our two hefty bags of candy and walked a mile back home.  Maria walked the entire way with me holding Mario.  She is a machine (she did it in sandals; even I would have complained).  We made a pit stop at the library to take a computer break.  Maria played Go Girls Games and Mario played Ben Ten.  I got a little reading time in, which was just the break I needed.  Middle-school kids were signing up younger kids for the reading program.  Maria asked to sign up.  I was excited about her initiative.  She asked to do it last year, too, but she could not read on her own and she wasn’t that into it.  I am hoping that her ability to read better will lead to her reading more this Summer.  She picked out a Junie B. Jones book and a couple more random ones.  Let’s cross our fingers….

We plodded our way home from the library in the 88 degree heat.  We immediately threw on our bathing suits, grabbed our goggles and towels, and jumped in the car.  We had to drop the stroller off at the bike store because Mario and I bust a tire on our stroller ride earlier that morning (there was a loud firecracker-like bang and Mario yelled “Cool!”).  Once at the bike store, Mario spotted a sweet red and black bike with training wheels.  He jumped on it and flew around the store.  I looked at the tag and it was expensive.  How can a kid’s bike be over $100?  Really?  But I have had such bad luck with used bikes for him – none of them are steady or ride well – and it has caused him to get scared about riding.  I do not want that with as much as Maria likes riding.  So, I decided to bite the bullet and get it reasoning that he will have it for the next few years. 

We left the store for the pool, which was absolutely packed since it was opening day.  Mario and Ri went off the low dive and high dive, respectively.  Mario tried the high dive but second guessed it after getting on top (I don’t blame him).  He will jump off by the end of the Summer, I am sure.  We only lasted at the pool for about 45 minutes; I was exhausted and luckily, the kids probably were, too.   

Once home, we made bowls of cereal and rested in front of a Ben Ten on tv.  Within ten minutes, Maria was snoozing on the couch.  I tried to move her but she was solid dead weight – there was nothing waking her up.  Mario, meanwhile, was wide awake and insane, jumping all around the room and acting like random aliens.  I let him play on my computer while I went out and mowed the grass and watered the flowers.  Then I came in and cleaned out the Study a bit in order to move our new desk in it.  I was in cleaning mode.  You’d think that it may have been wise to put my feet up and nap a bit with Ri, but that would have been too easy.  Gotta keep the momentum going – once I sit down, I am useless for the rest of the day.

Maria finally woke up – two hours later –  and she was a piece of work.  Pissed off at the world.  She stomped across the kitchen moping and pouting and crying.  I left her alone and she finally buried her head in my chest and rested for a few minutes.  Then she finally morphed into the Maria we know and love ready to ride her bike and play.  We got Mario off the computer (not an easy task) and headed off on his new bike.  He rocked it out on his bike almost keeping up with Maria.  We had hoped that the Art Hop would offer a bouncey house or kids’ music but it only offered a couple of vendors selling necklaces.  We dealt with our disappointment by going to the church park.  I played tag with Mario and Maria climbed up the top of the slides (her favorite thing to do at the park).  Amy and Joe met us up at the park with the kids and they all played for a bit.  We all looked like zombies.  It was comical.  The day felt like three days.  We finished the night off with Orange Leaf and a bike ride back home. 

When we pulled in the driveway, there was a spectacular slice of moon looking down at us.  We all stopped and gave reverence.  Then, Maria shouted “Mario’s old bike is still at the library!”  So, what else to do but jump in the truck and head to the library to pick up his bike.  We finally got into the house at 10 pm.  Maria wanted to read Junie B. Jones, and Mario was listening to music on my phone so I didn’t fight it.  I just let them be and relaxed over a bag of Cheez-Its, and Maria later joined me. 

What a whirlwind of a holiday Saturday.  I swear to myself as I sit here tonight that tomorrow will be low-key day but I know myself better than that.  We will be off and running – but not until 7:30 am.

Time with my little guy

Trade your expectation for appreciation and the world changes instantly. Tony Robbins

I woke up with Mario this morning.  Maria got to see a late movie and sleep over with a girlfriend.  Mario agreed to take a stroller ride with me if I let him get donuts at Tim Hortons.  I allowed him to get donuts if he agreed to eat a graham cracker with peanut butter beforehand (I knew if he did that he would not even be hungry for much of a donut and I could eat the rest!).

Much to my amazement, Mario spent the entire stroller ride talking to me and finding all sorts of animals along the way.  He spotted birds and squirrels and a rabbit sitting in a yard.  Of course, it was a game to him that he had to win.  Every time he found an animal, he’d pump his fist in the air and yell “I win!”  But it was much better than having him play on the iPad, which is usually what he wants to do.  He even talked to me about what he learned at school this week (do you know what anemones do, mom? I do!). 

I am so appreciative of this time with my little guy – totally unexpected and wonderful.  It started my holiday weekend off on a much-needed good note, and changed how I viewed my tiny little world this morning. 

Life doesn’t get much better – donuts, fresh air and sweet chats with my guy. Now, we can’t wait to add Maria to the mix!

Smile and Better the World

What a coincidence to find an article that details the benefits of smiling at people after Maria and Mario both exhibited such behavior on our bike ride tonight.  An older couple approached us as we rode down the street.  I told Maria to watch out for them and as they walked past her, I heard her say “hi” to them.  They smiled at her and continued towards us.  When they walked by us, Mario waved and said “hi”, also.  They smiled again and said “good evening” to us both.  As they walked away from us, I heard the woman remark “Nice kids.” 

Ahh, “nice kids.”  Good to hear every once in a while…. When we stopped at the light, Maria turned around and told me how she smiled and waved at the couple that walked by her.  I commended her for being so polite and sweet.  Of course, Mario needed to chime in right away and inform me that he said hi to the couple, too.  He added “they smiled back at me, too, mom.” 

I appreciate this study.  I know that I always feel better when I give a stranger a smile as I pass them – even if they don’t return the smile back.  And when a stranger gives me a smile first, it usually makes me smile at the next person I see.  Domino effect.  It steps up my mood elevator and makes me take a step back and contemplate whether the issue I may be stewing over or anxious about is really worth it.  I explain the article I read to Maria and Mario, and they both look at me and smile.  The kind of smile that reminds me of some ancient buddha’s smile – a smile appreciating that I finally found some nugget of truth and good that they have known for a long time.

A Pop Tart to toast the last day of school

Maria could not have expressed more joy about the last day of school. She appropriately christened it this morning with a strawberry pop tart and a bike ride to school. There were no dresses on her last day (she has more of her mom’s style in her than she realizes).

She wore her running shorts and a casual tank top with her hair pulled back in a pony tail (thank you Maggie for brushing through her hair this morn).

And i gave her another treat this morning and biked with her to school. Mario still fits in the “baby” seat on my bike (I told him he will always be my baby and he agrees to let me hold him until he “gets bigger” (whatever age that means!)). Maria thought it was so cool to bike together and said excitedly “when dad gets back, he can use your bike and we can all bike as a family!” She is our pack dog, for sure.

When we arrived at school, she allowed one quick picture by the side of the building. When I asked her for one in front of the doors where her friends congregate, she said “no way!” She saw the look in my eyes that I would get one any way, and bolted for the door. The only voice that stopped her in her tracks was Mario’s yelling “Maria, wait!” When she looked back, he waved goodbye and she sweetly waved back before heading in the door and up the stairs for her last day in first grade.

I knew she wouldn’t ignore her pack mate.

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Missing Dad

Maria will be such a happy camper when her dad returns. She has been missing him like crazy and as each day gets closer to when he returns, she gets more and more melancholy about him being away. She saw a plane in the sky yesterday, and sighed “that makes me think of Daddy.”

It’s no wonder she misses him – the two of them are carbon copies of each other. They both see everything and never miss a beat. Whereas Mario and I could trip right over a $20 bill on the ground, Maria and Jon could spot it behind a row of bushes. Maria can make me laugh with her one-liners just as hard as Jon makes me laugh. Maria and Jon can dish it out to each other for minutes on end without breaking a smile, and then, when neither of them have broken, they both smile at each other at the same time so as not to let the other one “win.” Maria can’t stand to have you reach over and grab food from her plate just like Jon (although he does cut an exception out for me unlike Maria). Maria can get you to believe a made-up story she tells almost as often as Jon can (he still gets me fifteen years later). Maria hates the heat and would rather sit in the AC all day just like her pops. Maria has that shrewd business sense that Jon has: the other night we were eating dinner together and Jon was complaining about work problems. Maria looked over at him and counseled “You should definitely fire people.” She is going to be ten times tougher than Jon, actually….

So, when she finally fell asleep tonight after rubbing her back for 15 minutes and listening to her whimper about missing daddy, I emptied her book bag to get it ready for tomorrow. When I reached in her folder to see if she brought any paperwork home, I found a white envelope with the word “Dad” written on it. A little red heart was drawn beside it.

Melt my heart.

It was sealed shut so I decided I would not rip it open to see what it says. But I am quite sure that it will bring tears to Jon’s eyes when he reads it because I know he loves that baby girl more than anything. Or maybe she is acting just like him and playing a trick on him like he plays on all of us family members and there is nothing inside of it… I think that would bring even more proud tears to his eyes.