Baltimore, Bucks, and Babies

September 3, 2014September 3, 2014Leave a comment

Jon and I had a great time in Baltimore celebrating our anniversary. His buddy Paul and wife Kelly hooked us up beyond belief. Front row at the Orioles game on Friday night right behind home plate. You could hear the crack of the bat and feel the sting of the ball in the thigh (quite a few bad pitches).I screamed at the Baltimore players with all my might but didn’t manage to get a smile from them (my Reds would have given me some).
On Saturday, we started the tailgating early. Out of the hotel by 9 am (yea, I know there are those up at 5 am raring to go… Not moi). We met up with Paul and Kelly and our neighbors in Grandview (small world) and their family. The stadium was booming when we entered and the Navy boys were impressive as they threw and loosened up on the field – but our guys looked rough and tough when they marched out. The suite had hamburgers and hot dogs and sushi and nuts and more. Ri would have been in heaven with me. Our neighbors’ kids sure were. Jon had fun teasing them and helping one of them create an ultimate burger!

Meanwhile, I had to move around before the game. I was getting antsy after being in that room for an hour. I went down to see the band and the players near the field. I absorbed all the positive energy from the players – so energizing to be near the field listening to music and hearing the crowd. Their were players’ mamas and papas near me taking pictures and beaming about their children.
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I headed back to our suite about fifteen minutes before the start. The midshipmen assembled on the field and the Star-Spangled Banner played. Gets me every time.
And then the game.
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It was quite the nail biter at first but then we pulled it out. All were in good spirits afterwards. But we were also whooped. We went our separate ways to rest up before dinner. I took a walk to check out the inner harbor and to wake me up (if I nap, I’m worse off).
We went to Little Italy for dinner with Paul and Kelly. We ordered a magnificent bottle of wine and had an amazing meal. It was a great way to end the trip.
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We crawled out of bed at 7 am on Sunday and left for the airport. We arrived home to sheets of rain and kids’ embraces. But then they were off to the neighbors’ house to play. And I was whacked out. Usually I’m happy to get some quiet time and slurp it up but for some reason their departure left me depressed and I didn’t recover all day. Sometimes when I don’t start my day with a run or the gym, I get in a funk, too. So maybe it was that combo that kicked my butt. We had our block party that night so I had to break free from the doldrums. I managed to do so and had a good time talking with Patty and Stephanie. The kids biked and wrestled and “got drunk” on Jones soda.
I woke up and took a seven mile run. I felt much better on Monday. The kids and I cleaned up their rooms. We had four garbage bags of junk and old toys and clothes. How refreshing! Jon worked on their fish tanks (not a fun chore). It was soothing to all be together. But Mario got antsy after a bit and begged to go see Quinn. I gave in after the hundredth plea and let him go. My girl stayed with me though, and helped move her barbies upstairs. Evening came and we got ready for bed at 8:15. I read them a book in Ri’s room and tucked them in.
I took a deep breath as I walked down the steps, and gave thanks for my kiddos and being home.
And the more I thought about my melancholy upon my return home on Sunday, the more I came to believe that it was just leaving Paul and Kelly! They were too good of hosts!>

Taking care of business

August 27, 2014Leave a comment

I came home from running this morning and there was Ri and Mario eating Lucky Charms. Ri had poured a bowl for her brother and herself. Thank the heavens I have a self-sufficient girl. I can avoid getting up at the crack of dawn in order to be home by 7 am to get them ready and instead get up at a reasonable hour when the sun is rising and it’s not jet black outside.
She also has absolutely zero desire to have me walk her up the street to meet her friends. She wants to walk all by herself. So, I could wake up even later and make it home solely for Mario who doesn’t have to leave for school until a half hour later than Ri; but that would entail me missing a goodbye kiss and hug from my girl. She still humors me with such love when I ask her. And I will lap that up until it is no more.

Giving back

August 26, 2014Leave a comment

I took Maria to the Van Buren homeless shelter last night to help me serve food to the women staying at the shelter. Mario was going to head over with us but Jon arrived home just as we were walking to the car, and he chose to stay with his dad. Ri was glad. She likes that alone time with me.
It’s been a few months since we went to the YWCA Family Shelter to do crafts with the kids. Ri did such a great job with the kids when we went there on Sunday mornings. She loved when toddlers and pre-schoolers showed up because they let her help them draw and glue and gave her hugs. She soaked it up.
I didn’t know what to expect at this homeless shelter because it was our first time serving dinner. They had told me Ri might get bored because she couldn’t serve food from the kitchen (I did not disclose to Ri that she couldn’t serve food because she had her heart set on it and I didn’t want her to be upset before we even left for the shelter).
We arrived to just a few women sitting at tables in a large room. I introduced Ri and the volunteer helpers welcomed her. The coordinator of the dinner quickly reminded me that Ri would have to stay in the dining area. I asked what we could do in the area and she directed us to a pail and washcloths. Ri didn’t hesitate. She got her washcloth and began wiping down the tables. And the chairs. I know she had wanted to serve food but she didn’t whine or complain at all.
When the women stood in line to get food, the leader brought out pitchers of juice and cups. Ri volunteered to pour the juice and give it to the women after they got their food. And so we did. The women were a so sweet to her responding with “thank you baby” and “aren’t you darling.” She’d take the juice over to the table for the women who had a hard time walking. After all the women went through the line, she walked around the tables to see if she could get anything for them. She didn’t feel awkward or nervous. Rather, it came completely natural to her.
If I’ve done one thing right as a parent, it is installing in her the gift of empathy and helping others. I have always felt strongly that she needs to understand how lucky she is to have happened to be born in a first world country, to working parents who have a home and can afford food and transportation and clothing; and to have such a support system of family who think the world of her. I don’t want her to take it for granted and I want her to respect all people, and understand that everyone goes through rough times. In the end, we are all much more alike than we are different.
It’s always been pretty easy with Ri – she seems to innately understand and be sensitive to others’ feelings.
Sure enough, one of the women was telling Ri about her grand daughter and how much she loves to take her to the park and another woman was talking about dressing up as Wonder Woman for Halloween. Ri smiled as they spoke to her and engaged back with them.
I have grown up with parents and family reinforcing in me that “there but for the grace of god go I.” We are all struggling to make the best of this life; all struggling to find happiness and joy. The woman at the shelter could be me. And she deserves respect and love and compassion.
As we were packing up, a lady called out “Mom, hey mom. Come here.”
I walked over to her. She wrapped her arm around me.

“You’ve got a heck of a daughter there. It’s wonderful that she’d spend her time helping us. She’s beautiful.”

I couldn’t agree more – on the inside and out.

Football and cake = an August weekend

August 25, 2014August 25, 2014Leave a comment

We made it out to the farm on Saturday with enough time to eat lunch, eat cake and play one badminton game. But Ri got to soak it up a bit longer out there with her friend Henley. Jon, Mario and I had to head back to Columbus for his Meet the Team night in the Grandview Stadium.
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Ri and Henley had a good time holding Elena and riding the horses and playing yoga kickball with Peepaw and Jorge. Poor Henley took a hike with me and Ri and fell on her back as she tried to swing on a vine. Then she got stung by a bee. I’m not sure a trip back to the farm will be happening soon for her…!
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I always forget how self sufficient Ri is on the farm. She’s completely able to traverse the farm without any issues, and when she falls she just picks herself up and keeps truckin’. A true farm gal. But we gave kudos to Henley for not giving up and trying that vine again. She succeeded at swinging on it the second time.
Meanwhile, Mario, Jon and I went to Meet the Team night. Mario was in his element with his guys. He soaks up that testosterone and jumps right into all the boy antics.

The high school boys came out last and all the younger boys get to form a line on each side of them to cheer them on. We watched Mario smile as he slapped the high school boys’ hands. The high school boys got to introduce themselves and name their favorite breakfast food. Mario will fit right into this football group based on the answers we were hearing. I believe 80% of the boys answered that their favorite breakfast food was donuts or pancakes.
After the stadium event, the Touchdown Club held a gathering at the Italian Club down the street. We weren’t going to attend but after sitting around the house for an hour, we decided to head down. Mario was again in his element. He partied it up with his football buddies tossing the football and running around the place. He even jumped on stage without hesitation when Gangum Style came out of the speakers.
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We had to drag him out of the building at 9:30 to head home.
While Ri and Henley were trying to read to Elena Sunday morning, Mario was chowing on eggs and waffles preparing for his first football game.
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Jon headed up to the field with Mario at 11 am. He had to get weighed in and practice before the noon game. I gasped when I saw him – big ol’ shoulder pads and jersey with his name on it. He looked like a miniature pro football player.
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He was ready to play. He has no desire to throw or catch the ball; he just loves to tackle. He’s not scared of the big boys either. I thought I’d be scared half to death watching him but I wasn’t. I saw him hold his own play after play and felt surprisingly calm. Now, I’m sure the day will come where I will exhibit nerves and fear (especially if he is catching the ball and getting tackled) but I’ll enjoy watching him play for now. He’s also quite the nut of the team.
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They ended up tying the game. Mario looked like me after a long run – completely drenched in sweat. He got a celebratory hot dog and walked out with the love of his life, Grandma Ionno.
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Of course, he had to take off his shirt and strut it out back to the car. I used to not be able to picture my little guy as a teenager but as I snapped this picture, all I could see was Mario at age 16.
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Hence why I agreed to read Dracula to him for a half hour last night at bedtime – I’ve got to get the snuggle time in with him while I am able.
And Ms. Maria is heading right up that path, too. I go to say goodnight to her and find her in her pjs, wet hair combed from a shower, looking up iPhones on her iPad. But just when I was about to leave her room, she noticed me and sang “mom, can you scratch my back and bring me water.” There’s my baby girl.
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Gulp

August 21, 2014August 21, 2014Leave a comment

I really don’t think it’s possible to love this kid anymore. I went to his back-to-school night last night and the above poster was hanging up outside his classroom. What a dear friend he is to have his number one wish be to spend every second with his buddy, Quinn. Jon and I have to rent a RV to make Mario’s second wish come true. Mario has been begging for a trip in a RV since he was four and hooked on the show Ben 10 (where Ben rides around in a RV). Before he wanted to go to Mt. Rushmore in the RV but now I see it’s Hawaii. We better rent it soon before he opts for Asia.
Mario is working hard on his third wish. Jon and I are amazed at his perseverance and grit on the football field. He’s the youngest boy in tackle but he is one of the strongest.

He also has a lot of heart. He wants to get out there and tackle the heck out of kids. He could care less about catching the ball. He just wants to hit. He’s been this way since he was a toddler; he’s always loved to wrestle. Jon and I have spent countless hours on the family room carpet going round after round with him. He’s a strong little sucker. Last night, he got in his football stance and ran towards us to tackle. Both Jon and I woke up this morning with sore chests from his pushes.
He tells us that he wants to play pro because then he’d make one million dollars. He also thinks he will get money in college. I explain to him he may get a scholarship where his room and board are paid and then mom and dad would save money but he would not get actual money in his own pocket. He doesn’t quite get that and dismisses me each time I explain it. However, by the time he becomes a college football player, the NCAA will probably allow stipends, if not a paycheck… so he will probably be right in the end.
I read his note he wrote to Jon and I as I listened to his teacher talk about the class routine. In his note, he told Jon and I “do not be scared.” I thought that was interesting advice to give us. He must know that he’s gonna take risks (example, playing tackle football at age 6) and that he needs to reinforce in Jon and I that we need to swallow our fears and let him try….
Gulp.

Finally! A no travel weekend

August 19, 2014Leave a comment

We had no plans to travel this weekend. I don’t believe that has happened for three months. Ms. Elena has a lot to do with that predicament. Ri and I can barely go a week without heading to the farm to see her.

We’ve also had Cincy pool parties, Big Mario’s pig roast, farm family reunions, vacation. You name it, we did it this Summer. So it was heavenly to stay put this weekend.
Maria had a Strings picnic on Saturday afternoon. I thought it was just a gathering outside the middle school to play on the swings and jungle gym and get to know fellow String players. I had Joanne pick up Ri so I could finish cleaning and told Ri I’d meet up with her at 1 (the picnic was 12-2). Mario and I walked up at 1. I should say that Mario started out in the stroller but then walked as soon as we spotted his football coach. He had not wanted the stroller to begin with but we were in a hurry and he wanted to eat lunch so he couldn’t bike. He even told me as he hopped in “I can’t let anyone see me in this because it’s embarrassing.” So when we spotted Coach Jim and his family a block ahead of us, he leaped out of his seat and walked ahead of me. What a trip.
We arrived at Edison to find no one outside. We learned the picnic was inside and all the kids, including Ri, were sitting in rows with their instruments. I guess this is a musician’s idea of a picnic… The 4th graders plucked away as they tried to follow the notes on the page. The 5-7 graders played with their bows. They actually sounded pretty good. Ri and her two girlfriends looked a bit overwhelmed but they hung in with the rest of them.
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Afterwards, I asked Ri what she thought. She confirmed she was overwhelmed and that her fingers were sore from plucking. I began to feel the “I want to give up” cloud moving in and promptly blew it away. “You are just starting. You will only get better. You need to hang in there.” She nodded and continued walking.
When we got home, she immediately placed her violin case on the table and took it out. She began to pluck after she wrote down a line of D’s, A’s and G’s. She did this off and on all weekend, and loved playing a “concert” for Jon and Mario and me. Hopefully, this enthusiasm will remain.
Mario enjoyed hanging with his boy, Quinn over the weekend and swimming with his friends Zachary and Owen. He always wants to be with his friends or on his iPad so when we say no to iPad, we know he will ask to play with a friend. Quinn is always first on the list. But Saturday, Quinn was busy so Mario met Zachary and Owen to swim and play at Zachary’s house. Dressing up and drinking lots of juice was involved.
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Ri and Sophie and I took Rocco for a walk to Grandview Ave. around dinner time. Why is it that we always and up with Jeni’s ice cream for dinner when we do that?!
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Mario and I played Yahtzee when we got home while Ri played violin. He and I had an epic battle – two competitive souls fighting for a Yahtzee. Neither of us got one but he made it up top so he beat me by 35 points. He loved that.
On Sunday, Jon and I were treated to an anniversary breakfast in bed by M&M. Mario kept running into our room to see if we were sleeping until finally he pleaded for us to get up at 8 am (yea, they were up before 7). He brought us two coffees and me a Powerade. He knows his mama. Ri brought up two plates holding two over easy eggs and a waffle. They made us eat all the food as they watched us (the eggs may have needed cooked a bit longer). We told them that the best things to came from our marriage were them munchballs.

After breakfast, we cleaned Ri’s room – I swear we had two garbage bags of stuff to either throw away or give away and yet her room was still cluttered as can be. Mario would not allow his room to be clawed over for old toys and trash. He neatly piled all his junk in his drawers or bins and called it a day.
I did get the kids to take Rocco to the woods with me. Rocco has finally come to terms with the kids climbing up the tree. He used to bark and jump up on the tree to get them.
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Mario got his wish come true the rest of Sunday. He got to play with Quinn all day. Ri got to play with Sophie, too. It’s been such a long time since we had an entire day to spend just relaxing with friends. Jon and I spent the day gazing into each others’ eyes still mesmerized by each other 12 years after we said our vows to one another. Actually I got a massage and he got palettes for Ri’s broken bed frame but we did swipe smiles at one another as we walked out the door. >

Rocco turns one!

July 24, 2014Leave a comment

Maria has been dying to host a birthday party for Rocco who turned 1 on July 19. We sat at Stauf’s on Sunday and looked at dog party ideas on Pintrest. At one point she found a dog party company that “brings magic shows to dogs in your own home.” She was cracking up at the thought. I swear the girl could be my 40 year old girlfriend with the way she makes fun of these things with me. She’s a nut.

We ended up buying a ton of doggy bakery treats and tennis balls to stuff in doggy bags for Rocco’s guests.
Tuesday was an insane work day. The party was slotted for 7 pm. It ended up that only one other puppy friend could make the party. Poor Rocco had to feel deflated….
Maria and her friend Kathryn worked tirelessly after Girl Scout camp to put together decorations and create party games. I got home right at 7 pm to find a table decorated on the deck with dog treats and streamers. They had a pin the tail on the dog game set up. Precious. Kathryn’s mom arrived with Hannah, a golden doodle pup. Rocco was his clumsy, goofy self hopping on Hannah and sniffing all over her. But she sang happy birthday with us and she made Rocco happy.
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After the pups went to town on dog treats and cupcakes, the humans got to play games and win prizes. Mario won pin the tail on the dog.
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He graciously allowed Elizabeth and I to have the prizes – lotion and nail polish. We then played a guessing game and called it a night. It was 8 pm by that time and I was exhausted after a long work day. Besides, I believe Rocco had been fed a doggy cupcake, three large bones and at least ten other treats by 8 pm and he was starting to look bloated. I should have been prepared for a night up with the pup when I looked at him that moment, but I was too exhausted to notice. I got the kids in the shower and prepared camp lunches. We all hit the sack at 10 pm. At 1 am, I heard Rocco whining. And so it started. Just like when the kids were babies, I was up every hour letting him outside to expel all of the treats from his stomach. I was a zombie when the kids came into my room at 6:20 am, and drank two energy shots to try to look alive through the day. The kids, on the other hand, sprang down stairs and were ready to roll out another day of camp. Even Rocco was running around like a crazy pup by morning time. So, birthday number 1 was a success. Rocco gorged himself. Mario won the games. Maria was very proud. And mom, as tired as I was, loved seeing everyone happy.
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Leave! Ok, now come back…

July 18, 2014Leave a comment

The kids and I drove out to the farm on Tuesday afternoon to sneak a peek of Ms. Elena. We can only handle a week away from that pumpkin before we go nuts. She did not disappoint. Wide-eyed and engaged. We got to even dress her up in ladybug shoes and a barrette!

Ri could seriously spend every waking moment holding her. She situates herself down on the rocking chair and she rocks that baby just like Grandma Heile.
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Uncle Jack is staying at the farm, too, until he heads to Sweden in September. So the kids have triple the fun between Aunt Sarah and Uncle Jorge and Uncle Jack. That combo did the trick for me when I got ready to leave Tuesday night and head home. I knew Ri wanted to stay through Friday because she would live at the farm if possible. But Mario usually wants to return home with his mama. However, this night, he gave me a hug and told me he’d stay as long as he had his blue blankie (his new comfort item). It helped that as I was leaving, the crew was getting ready for a corn hole competition. Mario will stay for anything competitive.
And so I drove home with only my pup in the back seat. I looked out my windshield and witnessed a gorgeous rose and orange sunset and began to say “look guys, look at the sunset” but I caught myself. They weren’t back there.
I arrived home and only had to unload Rocco. One trip. I usually have at least three between carrying each kid to their bedroom and carrying the 20 bags we bring for just one day trip.
It was 9:20. Maybe I could watch a movie? I never get to watch movies when the kids are home because they don’t go to bed until 10 and there is no way I can manage a midnight bedtime. I flipped through the channels. Nothing struck me. I ended up half-watching Veep and reading the New York Times. I was snuggled in bed by 10:30.
The next morning I expected a call from Mario begging for me to pick him up.
Nothing.
I worked all day going in and out of thoughts of the kids and wondering what they were doing. By the end of the workday, I figured all was well and that there would be no need to pick Mario up that night.
I biked home, walked Rocco, and took a SOS class with some girlfriends. I haven’t done that since law school.
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I felt good after the class. I walked in the front door drenched in sweat and ready to gab it up about how tough the class was for me. But no one was there. Jon was in England so fast asleep. The kids were probably finding eggs in the chicken coop. So I told Rocco all about it on our walk.
The night played out pretty closely to Tuesday night. I sat down with my lasagna and ice cream (hey, I deserved it after that class!), flipped through the channels for 15 minutes, turned on Veep, and caught up on Facebook. I crawled into bed at 10:45.
Thursday morning arrived and I thought surely Mario would call crying for me to get him.
Nothing.
I went through my day thinking of them at random times. 5 pm hit and still no call. Ok, then, I guess I’ll hit another class. Yoga boot camp this time. I biked home exhausted. I opened the front door to silence. No kids running towards me and screaming “Mom!” No fighting. No hitting. But also no hugs or kisses. No blue eyes staring up at me.
I did have brown ones though. Rocco greeted me with licks and kisses and I lapped them up. We took a long walk to the pet store and walked past Jeni’s. I could hear Ri’s pleas in my head to stop for ice cream. We walked past the flower shop and saw the black cat in the window and I could see Mario’s finger pointing at it and his exuberant smile.
Rocco and I got home at 8:30. I began some yard work and decided to call my parents to check in. Mario answered.
“Hellllllooooo, mother!” He was giggling over something happening in the room. He handed the phone directly over to Meg without saying anything more. Meg reported they were doing well and having fun. We discussed a time for my sitter to meet them Friday morning and hung up.
I felt relieved that they were doing so well at the farm. Mario’s had a rough time missing me when he goes out there and it seems like he had much less trouble this time around but dang, he could have at least told me he loved me….
I did a bit more yard work and then went inside to more lasagna, ice cream and Modern Family (needed a break from Veep). The tv provided background noise as I read my sister’s piece in Paris Review and a few other articles. How quiet the house was when I turned off the tv and shut off the computer at 10:30. I walked up the stairs and past Mario’s room. His door was shut and piece of paper was taped on it with the words “keep out.” I looked into Ri’s room and saw her baby lying on the floor with random Barbie accessories lying around.
I missed them and all their quirks.
“They come home tomorrow,” I thought to myself as I took off my eyeliner and splashed water on my face. I fell into the bed and slept straight through to morning. I woke up excited. My babies are coming home today.
It’s so strange how I can dream of a few days alone for months and months and then I get it and I dream of seeing my babes again. I was amazed at how much time I had over the last two days. I thought back to being child-less and how busy I thought I was those days.
Workout, go to work, walk the dog, get dinner, go to bed. Where does the time go, I’d think to myself after a weekend with Jon.
Now I look at me – juggling work, Girl Scouts meetings, school volunteer activities, football, softball, homework, family events, working out, walking the dog, reading, cleaning the house, folding laundry, giving baths, arranging play dates, playing games, wrestling, making dinner…. That’s busy, baby.
And overwhelming at times.
Hence why these small breaks are wonderful.
But they certainly reinforce how grateful I am to have these two kiddos in my life. And Jon. And family. They are my joy and they bring richness and depth to my life. Jon and I made a fine choice in bringing M&M into the world.
When I left work Friday, I felt butterflies biking home to see them. Butterflies?! How many times in the last month have I wanted to scream at them or pull my hair out over their tantrums? Yet I have butterflies in my stomach in anticipation of seeing them tonight? Whoever or whatever is responsible for creating this indelible bond between parent and child should be commended.
Those hugs from M&M when I jumped off my bike to greet them were like pumpkin pies with loads of whipped cream – comforting and filling and long-awaited goodness.
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Sweet nutball

July 17, 2014July 17, 2014Leave a comment

My boy has to be part monkey
He hangs from bars and shimmies up trees
He climbs up poles and then jumps down
In addition to being part monkey, he’s gotta be part clown.

He loves his pup and protects him well
If we forget his collar, he will yell
He teaches Rocco tricks and gives him treats
And he is proud to walk him up and down our street.

He loves to hang out with the boys
Wrestling, fighting, and playing games
He calls his friends “dudes”
And they all think girls are so lame.

He could eat 10 donuts in one sitting
Sugar and he are real tight
If he could head to Giant Eagle for breakfast each morning
He would think his mom was outta sight!

Mario is very particular about his clothing and shoes
And will take an hour to find the right hues
He likes to look cool and if he’s not feeling it
He will change yet again to a more tighter fit.
He shows off his muscles
And shows off his speed
And wants to hear accolades for all of his deeds.

His sister adores him and he makes her laugh
He tries to coach her in all sports much to her dismay
but he also lets her hug him and he always gets his way.

He is a total nut
And adores the spotlight
He does anything to get folks laughing
Be it making funny faces or dancing with all his might.

His best days ever are ones spent with his dad
Whether it’s hunting or fishing or playing football
He bursts with joy when Jon comes around
A number one dad he has found.

His mom makes him read
Which really gets him mad
But she also wrestles him and hugs him when he’s sad
She let’s him run with her in the early hours
And snag a breakfast donut, which he promptly devours.

He loves all his grandparents but Grandma Ionno he holds dear
She’s spoiled him and watched him for his entire 6 years
He snuggles with her and stays with her for days
And she always always always let’s him get his way.

Football is his favorite sport
He can’t wait to wear pads this season
He thinks he’s gonna play pro soon
And make a million for some reason.

Yet as crazy and zany as our Mario is
He’s a hundred times more sweeter and quite a whiz.
He loves to take care and give big hugs
On all of our heart strings he does constantly tug.

We love you, Mario ba Bario!

Life is messy

July 14, 20144 Comments

Yesterday, I sat on the edge of the bathtub reading Alya and Zeno to Ri as she brushed her teeth. Then I made her sit next to me to read the next page. We traded pages back and forth until the end of the chapter. One more down. She ran off to play with her friend as soon as I closed the book.
That’s how it typically rolls.
I used to have idyllic thoughts of Ri and I cuddling on the couch reading Little Women together and discussing what we read after each chapter.

Ri hates Little Women.
Ri hates to take time out from playing to read.

That’s reality. Face it, Mary.

After many months fighting it and fighting Ri to enjoy it (“Damnit, Ri, you have to enjoy reading this book with your mom because I said so!”), I’ve come to terms with reality.
Ri is going to fight tooth and nail to avoid reading. She is going to moan when I make her sit down and do it. She is not going to pick Little Women or Little a House on the Prairie as her book choices.

That is ok.

Life is messy and imperfect. Kids tend to not have your idealized version of a day well spent. They would rather sit on an iPad playing Minecraft or Animal Farm all day than do multiplication tables. I was there at one time, too.

Remember that, Mary.

When we do read together, Ri’s pleasant. She reads the words with inflection and tone. She even listens when I read to her. She engages with me afterwards when I ask her what she thought of the chapter (but that is with much less excitement and one leg out the door).
So I have learned to temper my desires and live with what I got right now. A messy, sighing, exasperated process whereby I have to initiate reading with my daughter and see her tapping her leg waiting for the last page of the chapter to arrive. And that’s ok. Because she’s reading and learning and pronouncing more words correctly even if it’s killing her. After all, how many nights did I sit up with my dad and yell at him for making me do my algebra problem over and over until it was correct? But now I’ve got perseverance and can add up grocery items in my head to know if I’ve reached $50 so I can use my $5 off coupon. The benefits come through eventually. It’s just as a parent it can get difficult to see up ahead. You get caught in the yelling and whining and you think “is it even worth it?”

But then you breathe.

And catch your daughter reading alone (albeit a People magazine).

And you remember how you were and where you are today.

And you keep plugging away at it – through the mess and tantrums – to arrive at another chapter accomplished.

"MOM!"

Adventures in the Life of a Working Mama

Tag: Family