Amen, Patricia Arquette!

February 22, 2015Leave a comment

I have loved Patricia Arquette since watching her act with Christian Slater in True Romance. Her character name, Bama, has served as my password for nearly all of my technological devices. She played a bad mama chicka in that film, and I have been smitten with her ever since. I still have not seen her in Boyhood, much to my disappointment, but I will be finding a way to head to the movies after watching clips of it on the Oscars tonight. She is a rock star.

And she continued to wow tonight when she gave her acceptance speech for Best Supporting Actress. Damn, it is awesome to see a strong woman up on that stage using her stardom to shine light on the necessity of providing equal pay to women. What a way to rev up the audience members and the folks at home! Her exact words…

“To every woman who gave birth, to every taxpayer and citizen of this nation, we have fought for everybody else’s equal rights, it’s our time to have wage equality once and for all, and equal rights for women in the United States of America.”

Amen, sista. In hopes that Maria experiences that equality when she heads out into the world to become a veterinarian, a teacher, a historian, a politician, or hmmm, maybe an actress.

She’s all that

February 8, 2015February 8, 20151 Comment

Yea, she’s all that.

Funny as all get out. She can have me laughing on even my most horrible of days.

Smart as a whip. She knows how things work, where things are, and what are the answers (and if she doesn’t, she can surely play it up like she does).

Perceptive as a CIA agent. She picks up on a conversation and quickly assesses what is happening. She easily deciphers when folks are being sarcastic versus sincere and can hold her own with those sarcastic souls (exhibit 1, Aunt Laura)!

Empathetic as no nine year old I’ve met. She senses when folks are hurting and knows how to console them. Whether it’s opening a door for an older individual or helping feed the homeless, she’s all in.

Fashionable as a runway model. She puts together combinations I’ve never dreamed of mixing and pulls it off magnificently (exhibit 2 above).

Generous as can be. She will give away her money, her toys, her food to anyone she sees in need … and not expect anything in return.

Protective as a mama lion. She will not tolerate anyone messin’ with her brood (exhibit 3, she was ready to call my boss the night I came home so upset about work).

Loud as summer thunder. She exercises those vocal chords extremely well. If you are sitting next to her, put the plugs in those ears. But it’s all in the name of pure joy and excitement.

Adventurous as a toddler. Give her an activity that scares 80% of humankind and she’s on it.

Thoughtful as an unsuspected gift on your doorstep. She loves to see people smile and is always thinking of ways to put one on faces (exhibit 4, sending “I love you” letters in the mail to family members).

Yea, this girl is all that – and I’m so glad I get to witness “all that” every single day.

Grateful for you, Ri.

xoxoxo
Mom

Cooking with Ri

February 6, 2015Leave a comment

My junior chef and I produced another wonderful creation this week. Ri loves to cook; she definitely takes after her Aunt Sarah. And she loves to cook healthy, which cracks me up since all I wanted at age 9 were hot dogs and potato chips.
But here we were cutting up cauliflower and broccoli and brussel sprouts to add to pasta. We tossed the veggies in olive oil and sea salt and placed them on a cookie sheet to roast in the oven for 20 minutes. We boiled some pasta (fiber plus white pasta since Ri hates wheat – just like her dad) and saved one cup of the water we used to boil the pasta. Then it was as simple as mixing the veggies and the pasta with the water and olive oil and feta cheese. Sprinkle a bit more sea salt and pepper and thyme and it was ready!

Ri and I sat down at the table together and toasted to another successful dinner creation, that included three veggies even! She’s carried me a long way from my hot dog and chips’ days.
Bon A Petit!

Girls and Boys

February 1, 20152 Comments

The boys and girls split up early yesterday morning. Ri and I left at 8 am for her indoor soccer game and Mario and Jon left at 8:45 am for Mario’s basketball game. Ri took me up on my advice to get more aggressive, at least somewhat. She went for the ball a few more times than last week. Slowly but surely….
After soccer, we stopped at Starbucks and got my coffee. Ri wanted to try something new so we got her a chai latte. She loved it.

We saw the boys off to go hunting (Mario was so excited) and got to work cleaning the house. All the salt and snow had been tracked in and it was driving me nuts. Ri agreed to do the toilets and I did the floors. As we began, she looked at me with a rag in her hand and mused “Susan B. Anthony would be shaking her head at us doing the cleaning in the house after everything she fought for on behalf of women.” Touché. I explained to her that we are doing it of our own choosing and the boys would definitely be folding laundry when they got home.
After finishing the household chores, we settled down for a mani/pedi in the kitchen. Ri wasn’t too concerned about this activity when I said “why should girls feel they have to get their nails done and not boys?!” Her response: “boys should get them, too.” I had told Ri that we could go to CK Nails but she responded ” why don’t we save money and just do them for each other?” That’s my girl. And so she arranged the kitchen as a nail salon with two trays and chairs and polish, clippers, files, moisturizer, towels, and bowls of water. She gave me my mani/pedi first. I have to act like I’m in her salon and she tells me about all the famous people she treats at her salon. She informed me that I had large veins in my hands which was a sign of stress. I needed to take it easy (her way of getting me to sit with her all afternoon). She finished my hands and moved onto my feet. Yowzer! She had her hands full with my feet. They are definitely runners’ feet. She kept her game face on though as she worked on them since she didn’t want to offend her customer.

By the time I finished Ri’s nails, we were starving. Ri agreed to walk to Stauf’s but only if she could scooter. Deal. I miss heading up to Stauf’s on the weekends. When the kids were little, I’d stroll or bike or carry them up to Stauf’s for a muffin or bagel at least once a weekend if not two or three times. We lived two blocks away. All those memories flooded back as I sat across from Ri and she worked on a crossword puzzle and we ate our bagels. How has she grown into such an amazing girl in what feels like three seconds?
We played tether ball on the way home and I’ve never felt so uncoordinated in my life. Ri got a kick out of seeing me so unable to play an activity. She also got a kick out of me getting slammed in the stomach by the ball. Yea, it was ugly. Not a fan.
On the way home, we decided to go see a movie at the dollar theatre. We decided on Alexander and the Horrible, Terrible, No Good Day. Before we saw that though, we had to try on Ri’s new Susan B. Anthony outfit that we ordered for her play next week. She looked like she had been blasted out of the 1800’s. She loves it.

As we drove to the movie, I remembered that Ri could not eat popcorn with her palette expander. Dang. I didn’t want to make her jealous so I had to be relegated to Milk Duds and nachos. Ri got a one quarter pound angus hot dog, God love her. The movie was bearable, which was a gift since so few are at her age.
We drove home and ended our night with a call from Jon informing us that Mario and him got a rabbit. Mario climbed through the thorn bushes to retrieve the rabbit for him.
Ri and I laid in her bed while Rocco ran back and forth from her bed to the hall chasing a ball. We laughed so hard at his crazy antics until he finally had enough and laid his head at the end of the bed. We rested our heads on her purple pillows and fell fast to sleep.

Wrestling times

January 30, 2015Leave a comment

Mario brought home a wrestling flyer a couple of weeks ago. One of his friends was trying it out and he wanted to, also. The problem was that he had basketball on Tuesday nights and wrestling practice was Tuesdays and Thursdays. I tucked the flyer under some workbooks and forgot about it. Then Mario questioned me for the third time “can I try wrestling?” I emailed the coach who informed me that Mario was welcome to just attend on Thursdays.
Great.
I am not a big wrestling fan.
But we went last Thursday and Mario enjoyed it. He didn’t walk away yelling “I want to be a wrestler” but he enjoyed doing wrestling moves on his buddy and running around on the mat. Towards the end of the first practice, Ri joined in the fun. She ran around with the group of boys. There were two fourth grade boys who were practicing and Ri and they were teasing each other.
When we left that night, Ri said “I would like to try wrestling.” Nothing more came about it until this past Thursday night. I came home from work and Mario proclaimed “Ri is going to try wrestling!” I looked at Ri and she shrugged her shoulders like “no big deal.”
I fed them some chicken and grapes and we were off.
Ri participated in the warm-ups and gave all the moves a shot. However, some of the moves like where she had to tuck her hand in the boy’s armpit and grab his leg made her uncomfortable. And when they did it to her, I could tell she had experienced enough.

She leaned against the wall while the coach explained to the group that they were going to try out a “real” wrestling match. Ri looked straight over to me, eyes wide open, and shook her head no. She mouthed “I don’t want to do this.”
I waved her over to me. And that was that. No wrestling for my girl. Jon and I were relieved. She thanked the coach for letting her try it out. I was proud of her for giving it a try. A lot of girls her age may have never fathomed the But Ri didn’t flinch going out on the mat. She gave it a go and realized it wasn’t for her. Pretty simple. No pomp and circumstance; no tears; no excuses.
Meanwhile, Mario didn’t want to leave. Practice ended and he continued to climb the wall to try and reach the metal chin up bar. He finally reached it and did a chin up. The coach praised him. He looked over at me with that cool smile on his face, trying not to look excited about the compliment but not hiding his excitement to well. I gave him a thumbs up and Ri yelled “good job, Mario!” She’s his number one advocate.

We finally were able to pull him out of the wrestling room and get his shoes on him. Another reason I’m happy that Ri decided it wasn’t for her: the smell of sweat and heat on the two of them was nearly unbearable as we drove home.
Ugh!

Bring it on palette expander

January 21, 2015Leave a comment

This girl got a palette expander inserted into her mouth yesterday. The above picture was her happy face prior to the insertion. She asked a ton of questions of the dental assistant like what tools they’d use, would her tongue get in the way, when would she get her braces….. The assistant was great about answering all of them. Ri seemed relaxed and unconcerned about the procedure. She has expressed some worry the night before; she had heard from friends that it hurt. But she seemed calm and collected with me as she sat in the chair playing with her molds.
She showed me what her cross bite looked like and how the palette would help correct it. She knew more than Jon or I did.
The assistant took out her spacers and noticed two were missing. She became worried that the palette expander would not fit her because the space had not opened up between her teeth. Ri looked dejected.
“You mean I may not get my expander today?”
The assistant told her she’d give it a try and low and behold, with a little pushing and prying, they fit. The palette expander on the top covers most of the roof of her tiny mouth. The bottom is just a wire behind her teeth. The assistant told her that she’d have to take it out in order to put glue on it to keep it firm in her mouth. Ri pleaded “will you put it back in today?”
She was relieved to hear the assistant say yes.
And so the glue was spread on the expander and re-inserted in her mouth. She didn’t cry or flinch or scream once (meanwhile there was one little girl wailing in the next room – poor thing). Here are the after shots.

My machine. She is unbelievable. Here I was fretting about having to cancel meetings in the afternoon because I thought she’d be hurting and beg to stay home but I should have known that would not be the case. I should have known that she’d crank it out like she always does with everything. She is my trooper-girl.
She sounds hilarious when she talks because she’s not used to the expander yet. She sounds like a two year old. But does she care? Not at all. She laughs it off and after trying to pronounce a word correctly for the tenth time, finally does. She pats herself on the back and smiles at me. Then tries another.
I adore this girl.

Saturday fun day

November 10, 2014November 10, 2014Leave a comment

Ri had a birthday party sleepover on Friday night with about eight girls. I dropped her off and the music was jamming and the disco lights glowing. Hilarious how parties have progressed from barbies and crafts to pop music and dance moves. I wish I could have installed a video camera to watch these girls jam it out during the evening.
When I picked Ri up at 10 am, she was still in her pjs and perfectly happy to head home in them. We ended up picking up Evie an hour later to play at our house so her mom could run a few errands. I treated the girls to a smoothie at the coffee shop and got my much-needed au lait.

Then we went to Walgreens and got a big sheet of cardboard and markers in order to make a sign in support of the Grandview Boys Soccer Team. They headed to the state championships on Saturday afternoon at Crew Stadium. The girls made an awesome sign that they, of course, completely forgot to take to the game!
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It ends up their little hands would have frozen holding up the sign anyway. It got cold as they sat in the stands but it was a great game. The boys came back from a 3-0 deficit to tie it. They lost in overtime but played their hearts out. I’m so glad Ri got to attend.
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I still remember traveling to Columbus as a freshman in high school and watching our football team play in the championship.
While Ri was partying at the game, Mario and I had a killer pillow fight. That boy could wrestle and pillow fight all night long. I always out a time limit on the activity – 10 minutes – knowing he will beg for more time and we will go at it for 30. It’s a good way to tire his hyper self out because he comes at me with all his might! Of course, he does turn himself into the Hulk when we play. But I get to be Wonder Woman (“mom, you have to be a super hero, too but I already know who you will he because you love Wonder Woman”) so I have some power to unleash, too. Hulk got a couple wallops on me but I think Wonder Woman remains the reigning champ. >

Party planner

October 7, 2014October 7, 2014Leave a comment

Ri has a career in party planning…starting now. She is hilarious with the things she thinks of for the parties we host – she’s much more creative and daring then me.
I picked her up from her friend’s house at 11:30 am on Saturday and we worked until 4:30 getting the house together for Sarah’s Kickstarter fund-raising party. The night before, Ri and her friend created bookmarks to give away as gifts to the women that came to the party. They wrote Vela in all types of styles and designs and the words “thank you.” They also added peace signs or words (“Vela is awesome!”). We stuffed the bookmarks into little paper bags and wrote Vela on the front of the bag. Ri explained that we needed a different design on the bag than on the bookmark because that livened it up more. She also thought we should add chocolate to the bag so I dutifully bought some chocolate squares to throw in.

Ri moved on to arranging the chairs in the living room for optimal talking space. I told her we needed a sign for the table where guests would lay down their books for the book exchange. There was no where to tape it on the table or wall so she created a sign to tape onto a book and then stood the book up on the table. Simple but creative. I love her so much.
She couldn’t wait to babysit Elena and another little girl, Sophia, whose mom was coming to the party. She did a good job as always in that area.
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Her girlfriend, Henley spent the night, and I learned she is just as crazy as Ri. I came home from a quick walk with Rocco and found her with dangling earrings hanging out of her braces. All I could think was her mom was going to kill me when I called her from the ER.>

Smart talk

September 18, 2014September 20, 20142 Comments

Yet another article confirming that I have sent my daughter down a path of failure. I thought I was doing well by praising Ri as being smart when she correctly completed a math problem but apparently I’m setting her up to head straight to trucking school after 12th grade.
“My research shows that praise for intelligence or ability backfires,” said Dweck, who co-authored a seminal research paper on the effects of praise on motivation and performance. “What we’ve shown is that when you praise someone, say, ‘You’re smart at this,’ the next time they struggle, they think they’re not. It’s really about praising the process they engage in, not how smart they are or how good they are at it, but taking on difficulty, trying many different strategies, sticking to it and achieving over time.”
The researcher continues to say that not only is telling our daughters they are smart unproductive, but it actually may be harmful to their development.

Sweet Jesus.

Here I was thinking that I was a superstar because I was commenting on Ri’s brains and not her beauty but not quite….

I appreciate these studies in order for us to learn more about how to raise our girls to be confident and excel but damn if they don’t make me second guess everything before talking to Ri.

But, alas, change and growth and questioning are a part of life so I guess I need to keep reading these studies and shifting my praise accordingly (oh, how my grandma would be shaking her head at all the analysis we engage in as parents in 2014!).

Tonight, Ri told me that she completed 91 subtraction problems in five minutes when she had only completed 78 two nights ago. I replied “You are my smart girl!” But then I caught myself and quickly replied: “You worked so hard to raise the number you could complete and never gave up – great job!” So who knows where that mixed message will take her.

In the end, I think she will be just fine. After all, does she look like she lacks confidence?!

A good ending

September 17, 2014September 20, 2014Leave a comment

And a happy ending occurred yesterday! After hours of anger, disappointment and frustration, and tons of emails and texts, Ri got into the soccer league. She was charged up – as was her friend Henley as she screamed in delight when she heard the news. One of my mom girlfriends was crucial in keeping me going through it all. She kept texting “WTF” and writing encouraging words in CAPS about not giving up. Love that girlfriend power has a way if pumping you up when you most need it.
I watched Ri practice with a smile on my face the entire time. She ended up in goalie for their scrimmage and did pretty well. She had four saves and two misses. Not bad for her first time.
She walked off the field after practice with a huge smile on her face, and that made the entire day worthwhile.

"MOM!"

Adventures in the Life of a Working Mama

Tag: Girls