Weekend wrap-up

January 27, 20131 Comment

Big Mario, as we affectionally call our Italian cousin, celebrated his 60th birthday last night with a surprise party at a restaurant near his home in Dover. Jon, the kids and I drove to Dover yesterday at 3 pm in order to be there by 5 and avoid ruining the surprise by pulling in at 5:30 with Big Mario. I was feeling a little “puny” (as Patty calls it) on the way out but the birthday sheet cake boosted my spirits. Ri enjoyed dipping her fried chicken in ranch dressing. Mario enjoyed crooning with Larry, Mario’s friend and the singer for the evening.

Mario was truly surprised and grateful. He went around hugging family and friends. All of his kids made it to the party, which I’m sure meant a lot to him. Jon and I always crack up at Big Mario and how much he wants his kids to stay around him. He would have them all live in his house with him and Vickie if he had his way. On the other hand, Jon and I are dreaming of the day M&M go off to college…. Ha.

Mario was fascinated with Larry’s singing set-up and just stood next to him most of the party. Larry let him sing at one point and Mario chose “Gangum Style.” A little different than Moon River. Maria sat with some older women and listened to them gossip. Her favorite activity at these events. I can just see her gabbing away when she’s 60 years old as she sips her coffee and eats her pie.

We got home at 9:30 and I went straight to bed with M&M. Usually I can sleep off these funks. I felt a tad better this morning. We stayed in and made pancakes and eggs. Ri and I had to improvise on the chocolate chips for the pancakes since Mario ate the rest of the baking chips. We cut up Hershey Kisses into small pieces and added them. Not bad.

Mario saw a dinosaur exhibit at the Convention Center on tv so we decided to give that a whirl. They advertised bouncey houses and dino digs and mining areas. It was $16 admission but I figured we’d be there a good chunk of the day. Maria brought Janira so $50+ dollars later we were looking at mechanical dinosaurs. And that’s all we were doing. It was the biggest rip-off. They had a quarter of the area cornered off with mechanical dinos and the rest was a few bouncey houses and dino digs. The problem was that you had to pay another $20 per kid to play in those areas. Unfrickenbelievable. I was so irritated. So, in the end, I paid over $50 to see ten dinosaurs. We were there less than 30 minutes.

The other parents walking out with me were just as pissed. And I felt for a lot of them who told me they saved up to come only to have their money wasted on nothing. I complained to the people taking money about the false advertising but that was like talking to air. Whatever, I made myself let it go but those dino promoters will get theirs someday.

Ri and Janira had begged to sit in the massage chairs prior to the dino exhibit and I had said no. When we left, that was our only saving grace. Mario treated the girls to a massage ($1 each) and they were in heaven thanking him over and over again.

So, what to do at noon on a winter Sunday? I tried to get them to head to Barnes and Noble but they wanted a bouncey house. The only place I could think of was Galaxy Games and Golf. They were game. I think half of Columbus was there with us and it didn’t help my headache at all but the kids did expend some serious energy. Somehow that still doesn’t tend to equate with an early bed time, however.

And now, a pizza, cookie and coke later, we are heading home for some relaxation and some Spa Science in the tub. I’m hoping that Ri can create an elixir to take all my winter cold aches away, and make my stomach feel better after that delicious meal at Galaxy Games and Golf.

Female Domination

January 27, 2013Leave a comment

The girls dominated the Ionno Family Fun Night on Friday night. We took the boys in Yahtzee and Wii bowling.

Jon had a leg up on all of us with his wall penny toss game that he played as a kid. It’s a lot tougher than it sounds. Besides, we had to let the guys win something or else they would have cried all night and not agreed to another Family Fun Night next Friday. They better be getting their Yahtzee rolls down all week because Ri and I are a force to be reckoned with!

Burrito night

January 19, 2013Leave a comment

Ri and I were headed to Chipotle last night but had to pick up some medicine at Kroger’s first. As we walked down the aisle, I saw black beans and tortillas.

“Let’s just make burritos at our house, Ri.”

She stopped pushing the cart and whipped her head back at me. “Let’s do it mom!”

She rolled off six items we had to buy as if she had known all along we would be making burritos: cheese, sour cream, corn, black beans, tortillas, and rice. I added salsa and refried beans. We made a mad dash home and began cooking the chicken. In fact, that was all we cooked on the stove. The corn, rice, and beans all allowed for the microwave. My type of meal! Ri laid out all the sides across the kitchen counter for us and yelled “Dig in folks!”

Mario enjoyed his burrito with chicken and a mound of cheese only. Maria loaded hers with beans and rice and corn and chicken and cheese and a huge dollop of sour cream. We sat down at the table and went to town on our creations.

Then Ri and I went for seconds. And thirds. That is the only problem with a “buffet” style meal – Ri and I have not quite developed the willpower to stop the multiple trips. But, unlike Ponderosa, our buffet lacked a dessert bar so at least we were eating healthy (we did slip in an ice cream sandwich later, however!).

RIP Orangey

January 18, 2013Leave a comment

I walked in the front door from my run this morning and Maria ran to the top of the stairs to stop me. “Mom, come quick, my fish is gone!” I ran up the stairs to find Jon and Mario in her room peering inside her tank. There was only one fish swimming around rather than two. I looked at Jon with the “is something bad happening that you can’t tell me in front of the kids look” but he just looked at me perplexed. Mario couldn’t keep his mouth shut, however.

“I think my fish had to eat Maria’s fish. It just had to. Look how big my fish is today!” All the while he was smiling and excited about this super cool act performed by his fish. Maria, on the other hand, curled her knees up to her chest on her bed and bawled like a baby who just had her doll pulled from her arms. Between wails, she’d cry:

“My Orangey fish! He got eaten by Mario’s stupid fish. Orangey is dead. No. No. No.”

It was 7:55 when all of this went down. Ri had to be at school at 8:20. Needless to say, I assumed she’d get her first tardy of the quarter. But we hugged and talked and somehow got ourselves up and out the door to school. We made it right on time and explained to Mrs. Palmer that Orangey had died. She gave Ri a hug and Ri dragged me over to her locker. I gave her one last hug goodbye and watched her sit somberly at her table as I left. I got out of my 11:30 meeting early so I could run over and see her at recess. She was talking to her Kindergarten teacher when I spotted her and when she saw me she ran right over to me and embraced me tightly.

She told me she was feeling a little better but didn’t feel like playing too much. I explained to her that she may be sad for a while and that she just needed to explain what happened to her friends if they asked her what was the matter. I called Jon to report her status and we both agreed that Mario’s fish must have eaten Orangey. But one goldfish eating another after four years? We checked all over the floor and behind the dresser though and there was no Orangey.

When our babysitter picked her up, she told him that Mario’s fish ate her fish. He laughed. He is 21 years old and a boy. What do you expect? She cried. He apologized. She cried more. Jon cheered her up by telling her that we would go out to dinner at Tommy’s Pizza. That soothed her for a while. But when we got home, she jumped right in to making a grave for Orangey, and a tombstone, and a eulogy for her, me, Jon, and Mario. She was planning his funeral for later in the evening.

The funeral went off without a hitch. We all sat on our bed except for Ri who led the program. She began the service with her eulogy:

“You were a nice fish, Orangey. People die and people are born. There is sad times and happy. We love you.”

Well, none of us could beat that. I read mine, dad read his, and Mario read his. Then Ri brought out Orangey’s grave and his tombstone. We all had to sign it. Then she read his will.

“Orangey gave everything to Maria and her family.”

Jon and I had done a good job hiding our smiles up to this point but then we busted out a laugh. Ri understood. Funerals are about remembering happy times, too, she informs me. Then she began to sing the words of her eulogy. Again, Jon and I failed to control our chuckles. Jon had to sing his eulogy, too, and he did it in his baritone voice. Mario and Maria loved it and begged for more (Mario looked at me and whispered “I wish this day would never end!”).

After Jon’s song, Mario took off to his room and got his plant. He brought it to Ri and told her that he wanted to give it to Orangey for his grave. Maria was thrilled. The two of them went to Maria’s room and placed all of the items by her closet door. The funeral was over. Time to get back to life. RIP Orangey Bobcat Ionno.

Love to munchos

January 17, 2013January 17, 20131 Comment

Love to my munchos:

I loved reading to you last night. Mario, I wanted to eat you up when you laughed hysterically at the dinosaur holding a sword. Maria, I wanted to stop time when you laid your head on my lap and squeezed your arms around my leg.

I loved that you both didn’t throw a fit when dad and I asked you to take a shower! How pleasant it was to not deal with pleas of “just five more minutes before a shower!” Mario, you crack us up with your hair washing trick. You’ve always been so scared of shampoo in your eyes so you brilliantly came up with a Mario maneuver. You strategically place a wash cloth in the middle of the shower. You put shampoo in your hand. You close your eyes and rub shampoo in your hair. You reach down, eyes firmly shut, and grab the wash cloth. You put it over your eyes. You put your entire body under the shower head and let the shampoo wash out all over your face. You remove the wash cloth and yell “See mom, I protected my eyes from the shampoo!” You beg Maria to watch the entire process, and then dad (Ri gets a snapshot!). Your hair is sufficiently washed, I’d say.

And Ri, you crack us up with your intense joy. When I walk in to check on you, you are standing in the shower patting your belly. You have a huge grin on your face. I ask what you are doing and you start belly laughing. “Mom, what do you think I’m doing?! I’m taking a shower!” What a card you are. Then you get out and pat your belly some more all the while cooing to it “I love you round belly, I just love you.” You run upstairs and grab your beauty gadgets to do my hair. You dash back into the bathroom looking like a mad woman and scream “Come on lady, you need a new hair-do!”

And I loved putting you to bed last night. I love that you enjoy foot massages, Ri. And Mario I love that you sit on me like a little Buddha statute and want me to read you a million books. I love your quiet selves, sleeping like little bear cubs. I watched you both last night while you laid conked out and wanted to eat you up. How awesome that I can walk 20 feet and lay witness to such perfect little munchos.

Dreaded Monday mornings

January 14, 2013Leave a comment

I really think there should be a two-hour delay every Monday morning. We are never prepared for Monday morning. You’d think we partied all weekend by the way we sluggishly rise and mope around the halls looking like we just lost our favorite puppy. And god help the one that actually tries to be upbeat.

“Hey there sourpuss! Put a smile on your face!”

“Ahhh! Get away from me!”
“Stoooooop. Ugh!”

Or just the dreaded stare of evil. It’s safer to just be quiet and move on. Get the day started in silence.

We have gymnastics on Monday nights now so the day ends on a much more lively note. There are smiles and pleasant conversation and even wild laughter as they exit the car and head to class.

So, on second thought, maybe we just need to sleep through Monday mornings and afternoons and start the week at 6pm with gymnastics and smiles.

Squealing in delight

January 13, 2013Leave a comment

January 12, 2013: 64 degrees

A park called out our name. We tend to defer to Darby Creek Metro Park so I wanted something different. None of the other metro parks had any special programs going on though and that was the extra push I needed to drive a bit farther. So we ended up at Park of the Roses.

The park is only about fifteen minutes away but I had only been there once with Ri and a girlfriend and her baby. Anything outside of walking or biking distance is typically a no-go for me. But it was such an abnormal day with 60 degree temperatures in mid-January that I figured it warranted an abnormal departure from all things Grandview.

We loved it.

We found a trail alongside a creek. Dogs splashed in the creek while their owners playfully threw sticks for them to fetch. Squirrels nestled in the low-lying branches nibbling on acorns. The water gurgled down a cascading waterfall. Yeah, just the scene I needed to rest after a crazy work week.

And then Maria accidentally hit the dog owner with a stick as she tried to throw it to the dog. Mario got wiped out by another dog too excited to see Mario in his way as he dove in the water looking like Super Dog minus the cape. A little chaos to mix into the serenity of the day.

But isn’t that how it always is with kids? How boring it would have been to walk the trail in solitude and listened to the birds sing their weekend melody. Come on, I need a little action interspersed through my walk.

And so, after the stick throwing and dog collision, the kids took off their shoes and waded in the cold, Winter aqua. They could not have been happier.

They were like the pups pouncing and splashing in the water. Tongues out. Smiles wide. They traversed the “waterfall” so excited to make it to the other side. They had spotted a Five Hour Energy bottle on the other side and were determined to get it for me (ever since I drank one months ago, they forever associate it with me and whenever I tell them I’m tired, I know just what they will look for). Maria grabbed it and it was empty. She looked dejected but Mario chimed in “at least you can look at it and just doing that should give you some energy.” My Little Buddha.

They found shiny rocks, “gold” rocks, pimpled rocks, baby rocks. They found slate similar to what they’ve seen at Peepaw’s and Mama Meg’s. They skipped flat rocks. Maria skipped one with Mario’s coaching (“Ri, watch me. I’m really good because Peepaw taught me when I was really tiny.”). It was glorious and messy and full of falling danger.

Then Mario took us up a hill for a “hard hike – one that typically only men can do.” After Ri and I gave him a piece of our minds about that comment and heard him say “girls can do anything boys can do” did we agree to the hike (I swear I should have listened to Marlo Thomas’ Free To Be You and Me more often when Mario was in womb; I listened to it incessantly with Ri). We slid and dug our nails into mud. We grabbed onto each other’s legs and pulled each other down into the wet earth. We clung to rope vines. It was an adventure and wonderful not to care about muddy clothes or wet shoes (I did make sure I wore old shoes due to my anal retentiveness about clean gym shoes).

With our feet soaked and our bodies layered in mud, we decided to head out and hit the Animal Shelter. The dogs and cats wouldn’t mind dirty kids. Mario asked Ri to hold him when I declined, and she exuberantly obliged.

Happy as bugs in a rug. These trips make me squeal with delight.

You are one of my nicest thoughts

January 12, 2013January 12, 2013Leave a comment

I received this card from my mom a week ago and I love the saying on it: “You are one of my nicest thoughts.” What a magnificent way to tell someone you are thinking of them.

I appreciate these simple nuggets that randomly enter my life because they gently slap me on the face and remind me of the important things in life. My family, my friends, being outdoors, doing cartwheels. When I opened up this card, I had been steaming about an email from a work colleague. The email was absolutely not worth the energy I was giving to it and the card brought that to light immediately.

As I was laying with Ri that night, I told her that she was one of my nicest thoughts. She looked at me awkwardly at first but then smiled her huge, rapturous smile and replied “I love you to the moon and back, mom.”

And so, we continue to add to our repertoire of wonderful sayings.

Surviving the dentist

January 11, 2013January 11, 2013Leave a comment

Jon and I just experienced one of the most disturbing incidents in our parenthood.

Mario getting a cavity filled.

Horrid and nightmarish.

This is Mario pre-filling.

Sweet, charming, calm.

Even if I could have gotten a picture of Mario during the procedure, I would not post it. People would believe that he was being tortured. He pretty much psyched himself out as soon as the dentist walked in the room. He looked like he was facing the firing squad. I just wanted to wrap him up in my arms and shoot out of the office.

The dentist began by looking into Mario’s mouth with the typical little instrument that has a mirror at the end. Mario cried and would not open his mouth more than a grimace. And it went downhill from there. We had to hold him down for the numbing gel and the shot took him over the edge. Screams of pain, giant tears that could have filled a bucket, hyperventilation.

“I can’t breathe! I can’t breathe!”

We stopped. I held him. He begged to leave.

“I can’t take this anymore! I can’t do it anymore!”

More soothing from me and Jon. As soon as we got him to lay down again, he wailed and begged to tell me “one more thing.” By the time the dentist started drilling, the novocaine had worn off and when the doctor drilled, Mario writhed in pain.

We went through the process again with the same crying and soothing and hyperventilating and begging until the numbness settled in. Mario sat fairly still as the dentist finished the drilling and seal clenching my hands and asking “are we done?” every three seconds.

When we left, I felt like I had ran a marathon. Jon was even worn down. Emotional trauma. Mario would only get a picture with me and when I smiled he stopped me. “You can’t smile, mom. This was not fun.”

Grandma Lolo called as we were heading out and told him he earned his $20. She had promised him that if he acted brave through the process. Not quite sure we’d call it “brave” but he got the filling and reached the end goal… Kicking and Screaming.

Jon took him to Target to get a Wii game. He called me when they got home and reported that Mario was back to Mario again – playing Wii and laughing. Glad he’s back to normal but I am still recovering!

Serious lesson learned for all: Brush your teeth after every meal! I think Mario may listen after today.

Dizzy in love

January 10, 2013January 10, 2013Leave a comment

You make me dizzy with love for ya, Ri. Don’t you ever lose that spirit – it is contagious.

"MOM!"

Adventures in the Life of a Working Mama

Tag: Kids