Tag: Maria

Don’t leave us, Autumn

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We are getting down to the last few weekends where you can still go outside in a sweatshirt and shorts (or jeans for those cold-blooded folks), view a few remaining leaves on the trees, and feel the warmth of the sun on your face.  I can’t stand to be inside on these weekends because I know in a very short period of time, I will be relegated to the house staring out the windows at the bleak, frigid, bare-treed world. 

The cousins ready for a train ride

We woke up on Sunday to a balmy 59 degrees (most mornings nowadays are in the high 30s) and I over-bundled the troops for our morning stroller ride.  We hit Giant Eagle for something different and its close proximity to CVS where I needed to develop pictures.  Jon and I bought a picture frame collage when we bought our new furniture for the house a few months ago and the frame has a bunch of different sized frames that look really cool in the spur of the moment.  However, once you get home and are forced to fill 2.5 x 3.5 and 4×4 and 3x 3.5 it is a different story.  I think I have spent  over 4 hours at CVS trying to correctly develop pictures to fit in the frames.  It is driving me batty.  And yet I won’t give up (although I did feel like throwing the collage frame out the second story window one night at 1 am).  But I digress…

Mario got a chocolate muffin and Maria got a chocolate sprinkle donut at Giant Eagle (Mario said “Why do you get chocolate donuts when you don’t like chocolate?!” Maria’s response “I like chocolate donuts – who wouldn’t?!).  After Giant Eagle and CVS, we headed home reading Berenstein Bears Moving Day.  Yes, I stroll them and read them a book held by Maria who does a great job turning the pages and holding it just right so I can read the words.  As we approached home and the sun peered through the few remaining leaves of the big oak trees, I decided that I would brave it and see if my niece and nephew wanted to head to the zoo with us.  My sister-in-law agreed to let them go and Maria and Mario screamed with excitement. 

Having fun on a statute

We got home and packed pretzels, raisins, and fruit roll ups for the trip.  We grabbed the library movies we had rented earlier in the week, and we were off to Hilliard to pick up M&M’s cousins.  We packed everyone in the truck, fastened seat belts, and headed north to zoo land.  I thank the heavens that I only have two kids but if I had four, I would be able to crank it out.  I packed those kids in the car in less than a minute and that’s with buckling seat belts, too.  I have become a pro. 

We arrived at a quiet zoo with parking close to the entrance.  When we entered, everyone grabbed a map and began to review as if they knew what they were reviewing.  We decided to head to the Petting Zoo first.  Of course, it was closed.  The barn was open so you could see the goats but it’s not the same as being in the pen with them.  We decided to head to the North American region and come back to the Petting Zoo. 

Watching the polar bear

One of the coolest sites of the day was the polar bear exhibit where you can go underground and watch the polar bears dive into the water to play or catch fish.  Two polar bears jumped in while we stood underground, and the kids got to witness them playing and swimming around in the water.  They were darling.  We tried to hit a playground after the polar bears but it was closed, too.  The kids were upset and began with the whiny complaints (“This zoo is awful…”).  I explained to them how lucky they were to be able to come to the zoo and how a lot of kids don’t even get that opportunity.  Maria understood it immediately but the rest of them failed to comprehend at all.  Nonetheless, we continued on to the bobcats, pumas, and moose and their minds were promptly diverted to how cool those animals looked. 

The metal statutes were a big hit for the kids.  They loved to climb on them and swing from them.  We hit one of those at almost every new geographical location.  The bird sanctuary was a bigger hit than I thought it would be.  They searched for birds throughout the sanctuary and when they found one they made a mad dash to the chart to see what kind of bird it was.  After the bird sanctuary, we hit another playground and it was closed, too.  This even pissed me off. I get that they close the playground areas at a specified time each year but really, on a day that is 60 degrees?  More disappointment on their faces when I told them it was closed.  I think it was disappointment and exhaustion from walking for two and a half hours.  Tension began to rise in the two groups of siblings, also.  Giovanni had found a feather and Mario wanted to touch it.  Gio refused.  Mario begged.  He still refused.  At that point, Maria walked up to him and pointed her finger scolding him about how selfish he was being and how he needed to learn to share.  Alana hurried up to defend her brother and tell Maria to leave him alone.  Maria proceeded to tell Alana that Mario would not share his toys with Gio if Gio continued to act selfish.  Alana said that Gio didn’t care.  And yes it kept going just like that for another minute or two before I interjected.  What would spark up 4 and 6 year olds after an exhausting day at the zoo?  McDonald’s Playland!  Let’s go kids!  

Tunnel Fun

My kids are used to the Playland because of our trips to and from Cincy where the McDonald’s Playland acts as a rest stop half way in between Columbus and Cincy.  Their cousins are not used to McDonald’s Playland because their parents do not frequent such establishments.  Aunt Mary is a lot different from Aunt Carrie.  I could care less about the dangers of such playlands – germs are good for kids in order to build up tolerance.  Heck, I never worried about germs as a kid and I turned out healthy.  But Aunt Carrie is polar opposite.  I am sure it sickens her to think about playing at McDonald’s.  I respect her for that – I sometimes I wish I had a little more of her style in me – but if the kids are with me, we will head to these types of places because they are cheap and the kids like them.  Heck, they spent a half hour running around and exhausting themselves so that when 9 pm came that night, they should have been out cold (Maria was knocked out; Mario was just getting a second wind). 

Finally, we ended up at Joann Fabrics to look for vases and flowers for the house.  I could not believe how good the kids were at that place.  They had every opportunity to run all around the store when I was looking at flowers, but they stayed by my side or within earshot of me.  I was very impressed, and because I was so impressed, I let them each buy a little something.  They helped me select flowers for the dining room and tried to find me some artwork for the room.  Nothing would do the trick so I made an impulse last-minute buy of two flower pictures.  I got them home and decided against them immediately.  Oh well.  I do like the flowers we bought. 

We got home at 6 pm and helped Jon with the remainder of the garage cleaning.  He had worked on clearing out the garage while we went to the zoo – no small task since we threw every piece of junk and unnecessary item in the garage when we moved into the house.  To my surprise, after we were done, he asked if we wanted to go to Bob Evans.  Heaven.  I had been craving their pancakes for weeks.  We loaded up and headed down to Bob’s for pancakes and dinner rolls with butter and mashed potatoes.  Thanks, Mother Nature for giving us such a beautiful Autumn day.

Ahhh, Autumn

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Delicious autumn!  My very soul is wedded to it, and if I were a bird I would fly about the earth seeking the successive autumns.  ~George Eliot

I knew it would be a gorgeous autumn day the moment I stepped onto the sidewalk for my morning run.  The air had the most subtle bite of chill to it – not frigid like the past few mornings and not heavy like hot summer mornings.  Perfect running weather.  The sun had been up for an hour by the time I got out to run and it greeted me with its cheerful self warming my bare legs.  I love this time of year with the beauty of the leaves, the cool temperatures, the smell of fireplaces heating homes, the cheers of people at the football game. 

Maria and Mario greeted me with a resounding “MOM!” when I opened the front door after my run.  Is there anything that makes you feel more loved than the sound of children excited to see you?  Mario grabbed two Berenstein books for me to read and we sat in his room with the blinds up and sun pouring in reading about “Too Many Commercials” and “Camping out with Ghosts.”  I love it when Mario initiates reading because he so rarely wants to do it.  He is not into anything at age 4 except super heros, wrestlers, and fighting.  I make him sit down at times and color or work in his workbook but after five minutes he is bored to death.  Other moms console me and tell me that it does get better but I have my doubts….  Maria is doing really well with her reading lately because I have made it my number one priority to make her read every night.  She is starting to see the fruits of her work when she gets a card and can read a lot of the words or sees me reading the paper and can decipher some of the headline.  Of course, I received two cards for my birthday that had the word “Bitch” in the inside of them (gotta love my friends and family!) and wouldn’t you know that she opened them and pronounced “You are a bitch!” just perfectly!  She immediately sensed that “b–” was a bad word and covered her mouth laughing.  Leave it to my girl to immediately know how to spell and sound out the cuss words.  Taking after her mom. 

After reading, we got on our sweatshirts and went outside to rake the leaves and play soccer.  Maria is so funny – she is the little worker bee as long as it is work she wants to do (never cleaning her room).  She is also the boss directing how things should get done.  As I raked, she announced that I should rake near the trash cans because that needed it more.  She then went into the garage and began moving things around to “places that they should really be.”  When I asked her to help me with bagging the leaves, she looked at the work and decided against it.  

Rather, we took a stroll to the library.  Mario begged to take a family walk so we decided that would be a good spot – four blocks away.  I was so excited to see the kids both ready to take a walk!  I was so excited that I even agreed to skip most of the way with the kids after they begged me to do it.  I felt 10 again.  We dropped Maria off at a friend’s house after the library and headed home to those dreadful leaves.  To my glee, Mario couldn’t stop helping Jon and me.  He loves that type of manual labor.  He raked and raked and raked for me.  I would sweep the raked leaves onto a tarp and we would take it down the drive to drop off the leaves at the curb and start the process again. 

“Mom, we are quite a team, aren’t we?” 

“Yes, doll, we are.”

“Are you proud of me for helping you?”

“I am so proud of you.”

Jon and I could not get over what a machine he was raking those leaves up, and kept stopping  to stare at him in complete awe.  I promised him the park after we raked the leaves – anything to stay outside on this gorgeous Autumn day.  I could just eat it up.

Gratitude for Kittens

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I knew it would be easy to determine what the kids were grateful for today.  A white sherbet kitty with orange ears and orange tail.  Mama Meg left me an email about the kitty letting me know that Peepaw was bringing him into Columbus for a couple of nights until he took him to the SPCA to be adopted on Thursday morning.  Maria and Mario leapt with joy when I came home from work and told them we could head over to Peepaw’s apartment to see the munchkin. 

Maria with another kitty months ago

We bundled up in our sweatshirts (the weather is a turnin’) and hopped in our stroller to head three blocks to Peepaw’s apartment (one nice thing about the house move is we are closer to the apartment).  We stepped inside to find a rather mellow, chill kitty sitting next to Peepaw.  The kitty was definitely not like the kittens we have met in the past – the ones that jump everywhere, leap after everything, tear into anything.  This kitty allowed you to pet him and hold him and rub his ears.  What a doll.

Before too long, Maria and Mario had it with them in the bedroom under the bed.  They named him “Buster.” They tried to teach him how to go to the bathroom in the litter box.  They groomed him.  They kissed him.  They showed him the water bowl.  Maria held him in her arms while she sat on the couch and all I could see the entire time was me as a young girl with my cat (numerous cats throughout my childhood but only one at a time).  It is that image that drives me to want a cat for Maria.  I remember how much I loved my cats, and how much they loved me and laid with me all the time.   But Jon is allergic to them and when he finally could breathe after our previous two cats passed away, he swore no more cats.  Maria always asks “when dad dies, can we get a cat?”  (I don’t think she quite gets the severity of that question. Or maybe she does?!). 

Peepaw drove the kids home while I strolled the BOB back home (the wind was kickin’!).  We threw on our pjs and sat on the couch for two books before a tv show.  As I read the books, I watched their little faces.  Maria’s eyes intently glued on the pictures and Mario’s mind thinking about a question to ask.  I am so grateful for reading time with them.  I love when they interrupt me with questions or observations.  They are thinking and wondering.  A beautiful thing.

Vote for Maria

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Maria on her school pulpit

I picked Maria up from school early on Friday.  This excited her greatly and she gabbed the entire walk home.  Typically, the gabbing would be about her and Mario when they were younger – how silly they were, what foods they liked, what hilarious things they did.  She loves hearing stories about her and Mario when they were “little.”  But on this fall day in November, the talk turned to politics.  We passed an Issue 2 sign in the front yard of a house on the path home. 

“Mom, Issue 2 is bad for nurses and teachers.”

“How do you know about Issue 2?” 

“I have heard people talking about it and I saw a commercial with a firefighter on it and he talked about not being able to put out fires if Issue 2 passes. I don’t think teachers at work like it either because they don’t get a lot of money.”

She asked why they created Issue 2.  We discuss the different political parties – the democrats and the Republicans and the Tea Partiers and the Liberals.  I explain to her that we have a republican as governor in Ohio and lots of republicans in the legislature and they wanted to take a stance against unions in the public sector so they created this bill to lessen their influence.  I explained that they did it very fast and without much discourse with constituents or other leaders. She chimed in:

“Why can’t politicians just communicate with each other?”  Why do they always have to fight?  It is like when the Native Americans were here before we were. People should just talk and understand each other. Maybe if they had done that, they could have made something that everyone liked.”

My girl.  She is our next generation.  Thank god. 

Who wouldn't vote for this face?!

She went on to counsel me on voting “no” on Issue 2.  I told her that Sarah and I had seen a teacher running the marathon with a “Vote No on Issue 2” shirt and we yelled “Right on!’ to her as we ran by her.  Maria asked if the teacher had long brown hair wrapped in a ponytail and really pretty eyes.  I said I couldn’t remember but didn’t think so.  She explained to me that Zach’s teacher has brown hair and pretty eyes and she likes to run like me.  She continued to explain that everyone thinks she is “sexy” but that she is also really smart and funny and nice.  

“Why does that matter?” I asked to provoke her into hopefully giving a response I want to hear.

“Because, being pretty is not everything.  You should be nice and funny and smart because those are really important.” 

My girl.  She is our next generation.  Thank god.

When we got home. Jon and I exchanged notes on the day.  Maria had talked with him that morning about Issue 2 and her concerns with it.  The girl had been campaigning him against it, too!  What a little politician in the making.

Morning Bliss

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My muchos and me

I thought it would be pouring down rain this morning based on the local meteorologist’s report last night.  I should have known better – how often are they correct!?  I didn’t get to bed until midnight, too, and anymore, I need at least 7 hours of sleep to function properly.  Those two facts combined led me to sleep in until 7:30 with Maria pressed against my back side, hand over my head and Mario pressed against my front side, his warm breath intertwining with mine.  I could have laid there until noon.

The munchballs when they were just babies!

But alas, work and school calls and we must eventually listen.  I smothered them both with kisses and whispered “Do you want to know a secret?”  They know my secrets by now so Maria said “Let me guess, you love us to the moon?”  I laughed and said “No, I do love you to the moon but that’s not my secret.”  Maria cocked her head to the side and said “I know.  You think we are the cutest, sweetest kids.”  That was my secret but I would not admit it.  Maria looked at me funny and said “Oh, I really know now.  You love us so much you could eat us for dinner!”  I proceeded to nibble on both of their arms and they squirmed and giggled.  Then, content with my feed, I took a shower. 

Maria and I strolled to school because it was so pleasant outside.  She talked about how her friends teased her about her name “Menkedick” and how two girlfriends always talked about being “BFFs” and she was not a part of it.  I try so hard to reinforce the craziness of girlhood.  How girls just form cliques without even thinking about it.  How girls can be cruel to try to fit in with someone they think may be cool.  How she needs to just learn to be self-sufficient and not care about what others think about her.  It seems to be working in some way because she doesn’t come home crying and upset like she used to in Kindergarten.  And I can sense an err of confidence when she heads to the school door and other girls don’t run up to her to say “hi.”  She is ok with it and continues on her way.  I like that she talks to me about these concerns and feelings.  I hope it continues eight years from now. 

 

Mario last year with his deranged mom!

When I arrived home from dropping off Maria, Mario watched me from the front window.  I loved the sight of him but knew that it would not be pretty when I walked in the house.  Jon would be aggravated at him for taking so long to get ready and leave the house.  I have it easy with Maria – I drop her off at 8:20 and am done.  Mario takes quite some time, especially if you try to be patient and let him get dressed at his own pace.  So Jon has been getting into work at 9:30.  I could sense his frustration, and like any good team, I agreed to take Mario into school so he could get to work at a decent hour.  Mario begged to watch a show and I still had to get dressed in work clothes.  I let him watch Dino Dan.  He looked at me as I put it on and said “I thought you’d like Dino Dan, mom, because it’s not a killing show.”  Lovely. 

After Dino Dan, I turned off the tv and told him we were taking the bike to school.  He did not have a major meltdown, which was the most wonderful gift he could have given to me.  We hopped on the bike and headed toward the river.  I asked him if he thought we would see “his bird” (a heron) and he opined on whether the river would be too high or it would be too cold this morning or whether his bird had already died.  As he was discussing these thoughts with me, he quickly pointed to my right and yelled “look, mom!”  I looked and did not see anything.  “I just saw a red woodpecker in that tree!”  “Really?” I exclaimed.  He was sure of it.  Definitely a red woodpecker.  Pee-paw would be impressed, he thought. 

We finally arrived at the river, which was high.  I took a look down each bank and did not see any birds.  I told Mario that the river must be too high for them and he sighed.  But then again, out of nowhere he pointed to my left and yelled “My bird!”  I stopped the bike and backtracked to the area confident that his bird was no where in sight.  But, to my surprise, his bird stood on a giant grey rock, still as a palace guard.  Mario and I stared in amazement at his poise.  He must have heard a faint noise from us and without warning, shot off the rock into the air and onto the opposing bank.  He made a screeching pre-historic scream when he shot off the rock, which caused Mario and I to turn to one another in further amazement.  We remained silent as we headed up the trail to school.  Finally Mario broke the silence by stating:

“The bird we saw mom, was a blue pterodactyl.”  “Are you serious, Mario?” I replied.  “Yes, mom, we saw a blue pterodactyl.  I am sure of it.  I saw a blue pterodactyl and a red woodpecker this morning.  I can’t believe it.” 

Heck, maybe he did see a red woodpecker.

Morning bliss….

Marietta or Bust

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The fearless foursome on the bridge

Jon and I have not spent a weekend together in our new home.  I was in Italy for the first two weekends and Jon was in Colorado for the third and what was supposed to be the fourth.  However, he is such a good shot that he got his elk early and decided to head back on Wednesday so that he arrived back at the house on late Friday night.  The original plan was that he would arrive home on Saturday late afternoon.  Based on that plan, I had agreed to go to Marietta with Jon’s mom and dad, Maria and Mario, and Maria’s and Mario’s cousins, Alana and Giovanni.  Patty and I are very similar in nature – we both talk a lot, are boisterous, and enjoy taking too much on!  So, when Patty found out that Marietta had a Zombie Night on Saturday night, she figured why not round up the kids, go to the event and spend the night at a hotel.  I liked the idea right away. 

Of course, Jon got home on Friday night, which put a little damper in the plans since he was hoping to have us home with him for the weekend but I think he quickly got over any melancholy with the thought of having the house to himself for 24 hours.  Patty arrived at the house around 11 am on Saturday and after shuffling kids and clothes and stuffed animals around, we were headed East to Marietta, Ohio where Patty grew up along the Ohio River.  We arrived to the hotel after two and a half hours of Tom & Jerry and “the word game” where I give the girls a word and they need to write it in a sentence.  Alana loved the game so much – she would craft a sentence quickly and then patiently wait for Maria and when they both recited their sentence, she would immediately beg for another word.  Maria, on the other hand, played the game four or five times, and then finally said “Mom, you are acting like we are in school!”  The girl needs her down time. 

The upcoming cast of Jersey Shore II

The girls decided they wanted to sleep with me and the boys would sleep with Patty and Joe.  We threw our clothes in the rooms and decided it was time for a swim.  I love seeing the kids’ faces light up when you tell them that we can go swimming.  Swimming in a hotel pool is like heaven for them and they get so excited and slap-happy whenever they know they are able to go.  The only downside with this pool was that it did not have a hot tub for Mario.  I was glad of this fact because I do not like him going in them (I know kids should not be in really hot ones – we have had mild ones in the past) and if I was not around, he would want to sit in one for an hour.  Luckily, this hotel had a fairly warm pool so Mario was not purple when he came out.  Patty and Joe went to Patty’s sister’s house to start the food while I took the kids to the pool.  Mild chaos in the pool area but nothing I can’t handle; I don’t know how parents have four kids willingly though.  I played around with the kids for a while and then let them play together (I am really trying to get Maria and Mario to play by themselves or with each other and not rely on me).  Mario is so funny in the water – he goes like a madman swimming and splashing and jumping – and then he just completely peters out and wants to leave right away.  The others just play around, lounge on the side, splash a bit, and could stay there all day.

Dancing with a young zombie

After the pool, we headed over to Patty’s sisters’ house, Aunt Mae (Mario loves Aunt Mae because that is the name of Peter Parker’s aunt).  She lives right on the river and her house also ended up being the center stage for the zombie contest.  The stage set up right outside of her house so we got to see zombies parading the street all night long.  Patty and I were not sure whether the kids had to dress as zombies or whether they could enter the contest in their other costumes since we had never experienced a zombie fest before but it ends up they would have looked very out-of-place as an angel, a groovy 70s girl, a pirate and a transformer (unless they would have put fake blood all over them and tore their clothes up).  Everyone dressed up in some zombie fashion.  Alana begged to put fake blood on her and ragged clothes.  Patty drew red lipstick on all of their faces but we could not find any old clothes that fit.  Maria immediately asked to have the lipstick taken off. “It looks really dumb, mom.”  When Alana started dragging her foot down the street and tucking her arm into her shirt in order to look more like a zombie, Maria rolled her eyes at me and whispered “we look dumb trying to act like zombies when we don’t have real costumes.”  That is a huge difference between Maria and Alana: Alana very much acts like a 6-year-old girl – playful and silly whereas Maria very much acts like a 40-year-old executive woman – serious and direct.  

The claw woman

Dinner reminded me of my Grandma Heile’s house.  We had pulled beef, cole slaw, baked beans, green beans and cookies. People also brought chips and brownies and cupcakes.  This is a very bad scenario for Maria and me. We both like to graze at these “buffet” like events.  And graze Maria did.  She ate two meatball sandwiches, beef, baked beans, chips, cookies and cupcakes.  By 7:30 she was complaining of a hurt tummy and asking to lay down.  She was knocked out at 8 pm.  I took the remaining crew out to the stage to dance to lots of 80’s music.  They were hysterical dancing.  Mario acted like he had a microphone in his hand and he sang made-up words to the songs.  Alana danced like she was on Dancing with the Stars, and Giovanni went from one side of the stage to the next hopping and bouncing.  They loved looking at all of the costumes.  There was one girl who had claws for hands with really long fingernails.  THey intrigued Mario who kept swearing to me that they were her real hands.  I should have known when he had me look at her for the tenth time that he would have nightmares about them that night….

We finally called it a night at 9:30 pm and left for the hotel.  Maria never quite got out of her slumber and Mario was pretty tired when we got into bed (Alana was going to sleep with us but decided last-minute she couldn’t bear to be without Grandma).  We watched one show and fell asleep for about an hour before Maria woke up with a belly ache and Mario woke up with the claws in his head.  It was a restless night.  But the morning brought a buffet breakfast downstairs in the hotel and we got our energy back in us for another round of swimming (Maria and I paced ourselves with a half of a waffle, cereal, and hash browns). 

The crew with grandma and grandpa

This swimming episode was a little more chaotic because I got under water with them, threw them, and let them play “beauty shop” with my hair (much pulling and water splashing).  But, what our trips for if not to hear the laughter of children happy to be able to do whatever they want to the adult in the water?!  We swam for nearly an hour and half and then forced ourselves out to get showers and head back to Mae’s.  It was a splendid day outside at 64 degrees and the leaves changing colors to vibrant reds and yellows and oranges.  The kids and I did another walk over the bridge to the other side of the river and got sticks to pretend we were fishing off the dock (we had taken a walk on Saturday, too, which was so wonderful up until the time that Mario looked at me with that “I just pooped” look on his face and we had to do an emergency throw away of his undies as well as a poop under the bridge).  The kids found a platform to climb, also, and they acted out a play about a girl who wants a car and her mom refuses to get her one.  Hilarious. 

Cheesing it up on their platform

We hit the road back to Columbus around 3 pm – close to four hours after I thought we would take off.  But it was well worth it between the zombies, hanging out with family we rarely see, watching the kids enjoy the hotel and the pool, spending time with Patty and maybe best of all, taking in the beauty of Marietta’s changing leaves and old bridges and wide river.  I felt ready to move and walk and hike with the gorgeous outdoors.  When we got home tonight, Mario begged me to sleep with him.  I gave in and rubber his back and Maria’s legs for a while.  At one point, I mentioned that I wished we were back in Marietta.  Mario shot up and said “Why, mom?”  I answered that I liked waking up to no schedule, seeing the river, hanging out with grandma and grandpa and all of the kids.  He looked at me quizzically and then responded “But why would you like Marietta – there aren’t any pigs or baby monkies?”  He knows those are my favorite animals but to put those two together cracked me and Maria up.  A good way to end the weekend.

Barbie’s got tattoos – now everything’s ok?

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I mean, seriously. We are going to commend Mattel for coming out with a new Barbie that still wears a size 0 and sports a  size D bust but now has some – whoa, hold your britches – tattoos and funky pink hair?! The writer in Barbie Gets a Tattoo Makeover certainly thinks it is better than the barbie fashionista blond, blue-eyed model but I think she loses sight of the forest among the trees. 

Maria receiving a christmas barbie in 2010

Little girls get these barbies when they are in the prime of development.  Barbie’s size 0 body and D chest provide an ideal for these girls helping to lead to all sorts of body image issues, eating disorders, low self-esteem.  I am not saying that Barbie is the only toy out there creating this image for young girls – we can look anywhere from magazines to princesses to billboards to rock stars – and find that ideal shining through.  I just don’t understand why it’s so hard to provide girls (and boys) with “barbies” that look like us?  How about the sporty mother of two running from her 9-5 job to get her kids off to 5:30 gymnastics class?  Or the mom lawyer dressed in her corporate attire and briefcase heading off to a speech about helping others in need? Or the stay-at-home mom with her sweats and t-shirt and art pallette teaching her kids how to paint?  So many “real” world mom examples to choose from yet we choose to maintain our size 0 barbie and simply doll her up with some tattoos and pink hair?  Really? 

When I was little I had one “barbie.”  It was technically not a barbie but a “Dusty” doll.  She had a plain, bob-cut hair style (sandy brown hair), no breasts, thick muscular legs and shoulders, a cowboy hat, a pair of riding pants, a long-sleeved shirt, and she rode a horse.  She didn’t need to be a size 0 and have big breasts to have a good time.  She had a genuine smile on her face and her lips were your typical pale red lips.  She rode her horse, played soccer, ate pies, kicked around on the farm and had a blast while her friend Barbie smiled with her bright pink manicured lips, went to her 8 hour modeling shot, and talked about her newest clothes.  No wonder I grew up wearing sweats and playing sports and hating the thought of shopping at a mall. 

Mario and his toy cowboy gun

I have to admit that I have bought barbies for Maria (however, they are always the ones that are in some type of profession like a vet, doctor or teacher) and she has gotten many of them as gifts.  I could forbid them but I feel that outlawing them may just make it worse.  It’s similar with Mario’s toy guns – I could forbid them in the house but he will find them at his friend’s house and we will long for them more.  Maybe that is just an excuse I come up with because I don’t want to fight the battle?  Maybe… but I don’t think so.  I think that they are bound to pick these things up and bound to get these from friends and relatives.  They are ubiquitous toys.  And why not be the one that sees them with the toys and educates them on the good and the bad about them?  I would rather do that then have Mario silently trying out a gun in his friend’s basement without knowing its consequences and hurting someone or Maria idealizing her friends’ barbies when she is at their houses and inflating Barbie’s image even more than if she owned one herself.   

I take every chance I get to temper these “hot button” toys by explaining to Mario the harm that guns can do to people and explaining to Maria that being a size 0 and D cup is not the ideal to pursue in life, and I think they get it.  Mario knows guns can kill people and he routinely informs Jon and I that guns should only be used to kill turkeys (Jon and Peepaw’s turkey hunting days).  Maria knows that life is not just about being “pretty” but rather is about having fun with your friends, making people laugh, being smart, and being nice (although there are the days that I catch her in my heels standing in front of the mirror putting on lipstick). 

I think we should just bring back the Dusty doll and get girls idealizing a more realistic doll and one that knows how to dig her heels in and have a good time.  Besides, she certainly never would have dreamt of a boyfriend over her horse!

Riding into the Sunset

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I had just parked my bike at Giant Eagle and was beginning a short walk around the block to call my friend who needed to talk to me about her irritating boss.  I had a couple of minutes before I had to relieve Megan, our sitter.  As I looked down at my phone to dial my friend’s number, a text message popped up from Megan. 

“She’s riding!” is all it said with a video attached. 

Maria on her princess bike at age 4

I opened it up with much anticipation, and there she was.  My 6 year-old girl on her new two-wheel, no training wheels bike gingerly riding up our street.  Without hesitation, the tears formed in my eyes and began to fall.  Memories flooded my mind… Maria as a newborn in her bouncy seat sleeping in the sun; Maria at age 1 holding on to the edge of the sofa as she felt those chunky gorgeous thighs moving across the floor;  Maria at age 2 clinging on to me as people tried to hold her; Maria at age 3 eating spaghetti and meatballs with a full red-sauced face; Maria at age 4 playing dress-up with her pre-school friends; Maria at age 5 entering kindergarten and already seeming so grown up. 

And now look at her – she is practically an adult riding that bike so well down the street.  It all started late last week when she got an invitation from her friend, Riley to attend her birthday party at a local park.  The picture on the birthday card showed Riley riding a two-wheeled bike.  The invitation stated “Come ride your bike with Riley around the park!”  Maria looked down at the floor and walked away as I read the invite. 

“What’s wrong, baby?” I asked her.

“I can’t ride a two-wheeled bike, mom.  They will make fun of me if I have a bike with training wheels.”

Maria and Megan

I explained to her that she is good at lots of things and although some friends may be able to ride a two-wheeled bike, they can’t do certain things as well as she is able do them.  Everyone has their strengths and their challenges.  Biking on a two-wheeled bike was her challenge at this time.  She seemed to get it and started to name things that she did well – rock climbing, taking care of babies, artwork.  She had tried to ride her friend’s bike a few weeks ago and it was a challenge to say the least.  She just did not seem to have that innate ability to balance.  I had read in the magazines about starting your child off on a bike with no wheels so they have to balance back and forth as they go down the sidewalk but Maria has had her training wheel princess bike since the age of 3 and has always done great with it so we never rocked the boat with a no pedal bike. 

Another factor is that my baby girl is not naturally athletic.  She struggles to hit the baseball or strike a golf ball or hop on one leg and then the next.  I worried that she would not easily pick up the skill of riding a two-wheeled bike because of that fact.  But what Maria lacks in natural athleticism, she makes up for in will.  She tries anything (i.e., scaling a hand-made boulder at the summer festival and ringing the bell at the top) and she continues to try even if she fails the first time (it took her a few tries to get to the top of the boulder and ring that bell).  As much as her strong-willed personality can get on my nerves (i.e., refusing to brush her hair), I thank the stars for it. 

I scoped out bikes on Tuesday morning at the local used goods store and found a 20 inch one.  We had tried that size before and found that it was just a tad bit too big for her.  Her 16 inch bike, however, is way too small for her (her poor knees stick out on both sides like ears).  We really need an 18 inch bike but they are hard to find.  I wanted Maria to try the bike out before I bought it so I asked our insanely awesome babysitter, Megan, to take her down to the used goods store after school and buy it if she looked like she could at least begin to try to ride it.  Of course Maria liked it (I knew she would – it could have been black and had skulls all over it and she would have liked it because it was something new).  Mario also found a bike that was red with black flames.  He needed a bike, too and his was half off so I approved for Megan to buy them both. 

I texted Megan later that afternoon and kiddingly asked “Is Maria riding on her own yet?”  Megan texted back “Haha, she is trying….”  Two days later, here she is riding on her own.  She still needs help starting up because the bike is too big for her to swing her foot over and start to peddle.  She also continues to work on braking and dismounting.  She frequently stops pedaling and takes a leap off the bike into the grass but if she concentrates enough, she can brake and then get her leg over the bike quick enough to have a fairly graceful dismount.  I am amazed at her progress.  I can’t imagine what I will be like when she wins the Science Fair or places in the swim meet or gets an A+ on an English essay. 

Thank you for the gift you gave me tonight, Maria.  You are one strong, willful girl and you rock it out.  Your mama is so proud.

Rounding up Mario’s b-day/holiday weekend

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Mario completed his b-day weekend with a big bash at our “old” house.  It felt strange to sit around the dining room table knowing that it was likely the last “family” meal we would have in that house.  The good part is that the new house will have much more space to spread out; the bad part is that the new house will have much more space to spread out.  There is something quaint and sweet about sitting so close together at one table with chairs side by side and elbows bumping… until you can’t cut into that porter house steak. 

 Everyone spoiled Mario on his birthday.  What is new?  Both Maria and Mario have gotten spoiled rotten on their birthdays throughout their short lives.  Here is a list of some of the things Mario got:

Spiderman Web shooter (the new version which shoots out a piece of string and not the white foam that sticks to every piece of furniture and in every crevice of the room)

Transformer outfit and mask

Sweatpants (with the elastic on the bottom to stay tight around Mario’s ankles (he rolls them up two times now in order to not have them “hang” at the bottom of his leg)

Incredible Hulk Warrior

Soccer disc (it is like air hockey with a soccer ball – pretty cool)

Legos (I can only hope he starts to like those – so much more up my alley than transformers and superheros)

Dinosaurs

Overalls (he won’t wear them yet because they are too “long” even though they go straight to his ankles)

Maria begged for us to give Mario the rest of the presents we had gotten him but Mario was already on overload and did not need to continue opening any more (besides, they will make good Christmas presents).   She takes care of that little brother of hers.  When we were singing happy birthday to Mario, she stood right next to him and put her arm around him patting his shoulder gently.  After the song, we waited for him to blow the candles out.  Maria gently nudged him and whispered “blow out your candles, baby boy.” 

Mario impressed Jon and me with his manners, too.  After opening each gift, he gave a hug and kiss to the gift giver.  Then, at the very end of the gift opening, he stood on a chair, and with a little help from me, thanked everyone for coming to his b-day celebration.  God love him.  And to end all of the excitement of the holiday weekend, Mario and Maria had a tattoo fest.  Mario chose all of his favorite superheros to fill up his compact, strong arms.  Maria chose a huge tattoo for her… neck.  Yes, kid you not.  She is my west-side girl.  All in all, not a bad Labor Day weekend and b-day celebration for four-year-old Mario.

Mario turns 4!

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Mario when he was a "little" boy at age 3 (proud of his fish)!

Mario Joseph turned 4 today.  Well, technically, he is four at 9:52 pm, the exact time he shot out of me and entered this crazy, wonderful world.  When he woke this morning, he did not make a big deal about his birthday.  He snuggled up next to me on the edge of the bed as he does nearly every morning I am not up already and out on a run.  He even gave me the Mario “rub” this morning.  One of my favorite things.  He gently rubs his hand over my face and in my hair without saying a word but with all of the care and love he can muster.  I feel it everywhere.  Maria woke up not long after Mario scooted into bed (she had been snuggled up with me since 5 am) and, of course, she pronounced to us all in her Maria tone “IT’S MARIO’S BIRTHDAY FOLKS!”  And the day began.

Some of the Heile clan

Maria played with Mario for a bit in her room while Jon and I recovered from the night before.  We had gone down to Cincy for a pool party at Aunt Susie’s and Uncle Ken’s house.  We stayed in the pool most of the day and night with the kids jumping to us and all of the cousins goofing around with us and the kids.  Maria and Mario are spoiled beyond words down there with all of my “little” cousins (now ages 14 through 27) playing with them incessantly and paying every bit of attention to them.  Maria enjoyed jumping into the pool and then planting herself on a pink raft to sunbathe.  She also loved paying “mom” to Gracie who let her indulge in the fantasy for a while until Maria accidentally slipped off the edge and dunked her.  Mario enjoyed swimming like a fish and planting himself under water while he pumped his water gun full of water only to pop up out of the water to soak an unlucky soul.  He would kick his feet the entire time under water to keep him from sinking and when he rose up he would do the same to keep him afloat.  As Jon stated, the boy is like a navy seal.  He went non-stop all night long and didn’t fall asleep until we were 10 miles outside of Columbus (Maria was out within 10 miles of Cincinnati). 

The aunts spoiled him with presents again this year.  I purposely did not want to announce his birthday for the pool party because I did not want people to feel they had to get gifts.  But I should have known these aunts of mine would have done so any way.  He landed some awesome books, a spiderman dry erase board, a spiderman pez candy container, transformers, and a spiderman closet show holder with a mirror.  He stared in that mirror for three minutes fixing his spiked pool hair much to everyone’s delight.  Maria even scored some presents.  She got some sweet books and pez container and Nerds (her favorite – she is her Aunt Sarah’s niece)!  She also got time with her favorite boy cousins, Robert and Cy.  It is a joy to see the kids so alive and happy with their aunts and uncles and cousins – it reminds me of the fun I had as a kid with that crazy Heile clan. 

When Jon and I finally got out of bed (at a still early 7:35), Maria begged for us to give Mario his presents.  She is always taking care of him.  We agreed to let him open a few (he surprisingly was not begging at all to open them).  She wanted him to open the Incredible Hulk I bought for him but agreed to allow Maria to give him.  She also wanted to give him the toy gun we bought for him because she knew he would be so excited.  She has inherited the joy I get from watching people express happiness through a beautiful card, a song, or a new toy.  Mario opened his $1 spiderman book first and tossed it aside.  Next present, please.  I have got to train him to be more appreciative of his gifts no matter if he likes them or not.  The gun came next and he liked that one a little more but still wanted the next one.  It is as if he can’t assess if he truly likes a gift until he looks at them all.  The hulk was the finale and it was anti-climactic.  He looked at it and said “OH, the hulk.  I wanted the smaller one.”  Maria looked at him and said “You just broke my heart, Mario.”  Mario looked at me and I had my “You should apologize” look on my face and he looked back at Maria and said “this is awesome, Ri!”  And after the initial thrill of opening the presents, it was awesome because he played with the hulk and his gun all morning. 

We hit Tim Horton’s after the present ceremony for Mario’s timbits.  Next we headed to the river to pick out rocks to paint later in the day because we knew rain was coming.  FInally, we headed to the new house to see Jason painting and run around the basement.  We read Berenstein Bear s as we walked place to place in the stroller.  The kids favorite is “No More TV” and “No More Junk Food.”  We got home right when the rain came so they hopped in the bathtub.  We finally got out the bath crayons that we had to stash for the last month as we showed our house.  I thought it would be a good sign to the gods if I let them draw on the tub today because our buyer has until Wednesday to agree to purchase or to walk away and I know he is going to purchase which would mean no more showings and no more sparkling clean house every single day. 

Filled with hot dogs

After our bath, we hit Dirty Franks for some hot dogs and viewing of all the crazy rock stars painted on the walls.  After stuffing ourselves with dogs, we headed home to paint rocks and listen to music.  I actually found some Children’s Tunes to play for them but after the first few songs, they said “Mom, what about putting on “Baby Got Back?”  They are doomed!  After rocks, we played school with Maria teaching us how to share and giving us papers to take to our parents for volunteering for the school party.  I asked Mario if he liked his parents and he shook his head “yes.”  Maria asked him what were the names of his parents.  He smiled and answered “Mary and Jon, but I like to call them mom and dad.”  What a 4-year-old doll.