Tag: Maria

Summer’s Last Hoorah

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I could not believe my eyes when I saw 98 degrees beaming from the Barnes and Noble sign outside of my office.  Isn’t it September?  I tried to walk very slowly to a meeting out of my office about five blocks away in order to avoid serious sweat pores falling down my face but it did not work.  When I arrived, it looked as though someone had stopped me at the door and thrown a bucket of water on my face.  My hair was dripping – really, dripping!  And people who don’t sweat just look at me like I am a disgusting, inhumane creature.  I don’t like people who do not sweat; they are odd and should be feared.

Silly faces at the pool

When I got back to the office at 3, I realized I had no more meetings and I had cranked out some good work during the week.  So, I made the executive decision to meet up with the kids at the pool.  I biked home, changed out of my soaking wet dress, and threw on the bathing suit that I had not worn in weeks.  When I got to the pool, I peaked in to see Maria holding Zach’s hand leading him to the edge of the pool and Mario jumping in while making a karate-like chop in the air.  Ahh, my children.  I jumped in with them without any begging on their part; I was ready to get cooled down.  The water was cool, and it felt heavenly.  Mario jumped into me while Maria acted like Zach was her dog and she made him paddle to her.  Megan divulged that while they were sitting during rest time, she listened to Maria and Zach.  They spent the entire time discussing their wedding and how many dogs they were going to own, and cats, and fish.  Then they moved on to kids.  They agreed to three kids.  Pretty practical.  Megan said they should consider living on a farm if they have a lot of animals, and they both thought that was a grand idea.  They talk about their wedding and marriage a lot when they are together.  They act like a married couple often, too.  Maria tries to get Zach to do something and he refuses; she struts away.  They both play alone for a while and then eventually forget they were fighting and resume life as usual. 

Maria and Zach

Tonight, Zach got angry because he wanted to go to the yogurt shop and not the ice cream store.  When his mom and dad did not give in to him, he pouted the entire time and ignored Maria.  Maria tried to hug him and he pulled away.  She turned away from all of us and huffed away.  I explained to her that she needed to ignore Zach because he was in a bad mood, and she turned to me and explained “I am mad at Zach.  I have a right to be mad because he is being a jerk.”  How could I argue with that one?!  Mario, meanwhile, is completely oblivious to it all.  He is way too mesmerized with the sword and shield he found at Zach’s house.  He hides behind poles and jumps out with his sword in the air and shield by his chest.  A natural warrior.

Just one of those nights…

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I love my children…

I love my children…

I love my children…

If I repeat this mantra one thousand times over, it will come true, right?! I had a rough night with the little buggers tonight.  It doesn’t help that I am exhausted between trying to sell our house, renovating the new one (why am I exhausted – Jon has been doing all of the labor!), and pouring over major projects at work.  

Mario's "mean" look

I came home to Mario watching tv and Jon in the shower and Maria over at her friend’s house.  Jon and I were both tired and Mario just wanted to fight and wrestle.  Every time that we tried to talk, Mario dove in between us wanting to play.  We scolded him.  We continued to talk.  He continued to try different ways to get us to wrestle.  We told him to stop.  He grabbed me around my neck and squeezed me.  I yelled at him.  Jon told him to stop, too.  We finally moved downstairs.  That was the start of the night. 

We ordered a pizza because it was definitely a pizza type of night.  Mario and I went to pick it up.  When we got there, I asked if he wanted to stay in the car or come in with me.  He wanted to stay in the car.  I asked again and got the same response.  I parked right in front of the door to the pizza joint, rolled down the windows a fourth of the way, and locked the doors.  As soon as I walked in the pizza shop and looked back through the window, I saw him standing up and crying.  I walked back out and he screamed and yelled and threw his fists.  “I wanted to come in, mom!”  I explained to him that he chose not to come in so it was too late.  He did not like that answer.  He got more mad and demanded we “do it over” so that he could go in with me.  We drove home together with him crying in the back seat and me ready to call it a night and hit the sack. 

When we got home, I got him out of the car and asked if he wanted to hold my hand to the house.  He refused.  As soon as I walked in the house, I heard sobs from outside.  “Mom, I wanted to hold your hand!”  I am proud of myself for keeping my cool when I felt like screaming “YOU ARE INSANE!” to him.  I calmly walked back outside and asked him if he wanted to “do it over.”  He did and we did it over and it was all better, somewhat.  At times, I think he may be dealing with OCD to some degree, and I can only hope it doesn’t get worse.  The question is: what should be my response when he acts this way?  Do I “do it over” in order to allow him to calm down and re-create the experience as he needs it to be or do I put my foot down and explain to him that I gave him a choice and he made his decision? I am in-between at this time.  If it is easy enough to “do over”, I do it over.  If not, I say forget it and try to explain to him the rationale as to why we aren’t doing it over. 

Doll baby girl

Maria had her issues, too, tonight.  I took her and her friend to the yogurt store tonight.  Her friend talked about eating McDonald’s for dinner.  Maria told her friend she didn’t really like McDonald’s but she ate it with her because she did not want to be rude.  Her friend told her that she did not have to worry about being rude – she needed to tell her if she did not like the food because her family does that.  Maria must have responded that she should not be friends with her then since her family is rude to each other and her friend got upset.  Maria can be a little bossy and domineering and I saw this come out in her tonight.  I scolded Maria about talking that way to her friend and she immediately went into the “you don’t love me mom” state.  I explained to her that she could not be so domineering with her friends and she explained to me that she felt weird around her friend and sometimes just didn’t want to be around her.  We decided maybe it was time to take a break from each other but that we did not need to tell that to her friend right at this time. 

When we got home, I felt spent.  Emotionally drained.  It is going to be so hard for me to see Maria go through her teenage years when I feel this concerned about a little tiff with her girlfriend.  I have got to learn to let it go more.  I want to be there for Maria and I want her to feel that she can talk to me but I can’t solve her every problem and shield her from life’s struggles (whether they be 6-year-old struggles or 30-year-old struggles) as much as I would like to do so.  Raising kids is a hard task at times – tonight, no doubt. 

Our two babes

I asked Maria to choose a book to read before bed and when I walked in her room, she sat there with the book Someday on her lap.  One of my favorite books to read to her.  It details a mother’s love for her daughter and shows the daughter with her daughter looking back at the times she had spent with her mother.  It is simply written and beautiful.  I used to read it to Maria when she was one and two years old, and I still remember one time I read it to her and started bawling.  She looked up at me and wiped away a tear coming down my cheek.  My doll baby.  I bawled even more when she did that and soon thereafter, she gave up with the wiping realizing that her mom was just an uncontrollable emotional freak at times.  And I remain as much five years later but at least I am an uncontrollable emotional freak that realizes her weaknesses and trigger points and tries to calm herself before adding to an already ridiculous situation.  If there is one important lesson these kiddies have taught me, it is that you must remain open to possibilities and new days and different modes of thinking.  They help me be an even better, more empathetic, more thoughtful, and less controlling person.  I gotta love ’em for that.

Maggie Goes on a Diet, Seriously?

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Is there really a book out there geared towards 6 year-olds going on a diet?  You betcha.  Why stop with women’s magazines that tout thin, blemish-free, flawless women or teen magazines that tout the same for young girls?  Might as well get 6 year-old girls into the mix so they can learn early what is beautiful in this society.  I could not believe my eyes when I saw the book Maggie Goes on a Diet.  A portly little girl standing in front of a mirror holding up a tiny pink dress and looking at it longingly. 

The author (male) justifies his book by stating “Maggie does want to look better. She does want to feel better and she does not want to be teased.” He argued that the book addressed “the issues that kids face today.”  But as the author of the article states, why couldn’t you show Maggie playing soccer or eating fruit versus staring at herself in the mirror while holding a size 0 pink dress in her arms?  By putting her at the mirror, you are reinforcing the notion that the reason to diet is to be able to fit in those size 0 dresses because it is only then that you are beautiful. 

This country has an obesity problem that needs to be controlled – no doubt.  Kids need to be more active and eat healthier foods.  But the reason for doing so is to be healthy so that you can run and jump and climb hills and not get diabetes.  Not to ensure that you look like the model on Cosmopolitan.  And the word diet has such a negative connotation for girls and women.  It denotes nothing related to health but rather everything related to body size and superficial beauty.  I can’t imagine a book like this being written by a woman. 

After having seen Maria go through the name-calling at her pre-school and Kindergarten, it saddens me to see this book in print.  I think there is a much better way to address being healthy.  I don’t know this author and he could have very well been trying to show how Maggie could feel better by eating better and exercising but he has a responsibility to think hard about how his words and images will be felt, especially by 6 year olds.  Maria could not understand why kids would call her “fat” or “big.”  It made her retreat from activities and feel self-conscious.  Those comments, thankfully, have stopped for the most part.  She would never talk that way about anyone else; she has learned from her experience.  She understands what it means to be healthy and why we don’t shovel food in our mouth – because when we do so we don’t feel good and its hard to move and we get tired….  We exercise in order to be able to keep in shape and move when we want to move and climb up mountains when we want to climb and ride our bike for miles when we want to do so.  

Maria is gorgeous and strong and happy, and we work hard to keep her on that path.  This book has no place on her shelf.

New kicks and patience

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New kicks!

We had a showing on Wednesday night from 5 to 6:00 and 8 to 9:00 so the kids and I strolled down to the Lennox Center to buy some new school shoes (Maria has lived in flip-flops all summer).  They each found two pairs of shoes – Maria finally invested in a sweet pair of Nikes along with a pair of black and pink funky Skecher gym shoes.  She only chose those two pairs after beggin’ me for a pair of high heels that were at least three inches off the ground (obviously adult shoes).  I was tempted to buy them for her to watch her twist an ankle within two minutes of wearing them but because I am a nice mom, I just told her “no.”  

Mario fell in love with a pair of converse basketball shoes.  And a pair of Nikes.  He had to try them both on two different times in order to make sure that they looked ok and that he could run fast in them.  At one point, an older lady approached him and commented that his converse shoes were cool “tennis” shoes.  He immediately corrected her and told her “they are not tennis shoes – they are basketball shoes.”  Then he went on to tell her he was going to play basketball and football and hockey.  She smiles politely and moved on down the aisle.  Mario looked at me and rolled his eyes “She thought these were tennis shoes, mom.”

We left the shoes store and hit Bob Evans for some chocolate chip pancakes and french toast.  I could eat Bob Evans’ pancakes every meal, especially with chocolate chips in them.  Mario loves them, too but without whipped cream or syrup (freak child).  Maria has taken to french toast lately with lots of syrup and whipped cream.  She loves sausage links, too.  We sit at the bar every time and get waited on by the same young waitress who is studying to be a teacher.  She asks Maria all sorts of questions about first grade and she lets Mario flirt with her waitress friends.  She also lets me order off the kids menu so I can get a bunch of random items for $1.99 each (pancakes and bacon with grilled cheese this time). 

 

Mario in his new shoes

After Bob’s, we headed home to take showers to be clean for Maria’s first day of school.  After showers, Mario put on his new converse shoes.  He asked me to tie his shoelaces for him and all hell broke loose.  The right shoelace was not tied exactly the way the left one was tied.  Then when I re-tied the left one, it wasn’t tied just like the right.  Then the right one had too big of loops and the left had too big of a knot.  It took 20 minutes to get it right and even then he wasn’t completely happy with it.  I struggle over how far to let his compulsiveness go.  He is only three (soon to be four).  If you work with him, he eventually feels satisfied.  I feel like it is good to do that for him – to take our time and gently deal with his compulsiveness.  But then there are the days that we have to get Maria to school by 8:15 and its 8:05 and he is still trying to place the top strip of his shoe perfectly on the bottom velcro strip.  On those days, I have to finally give him one more try and then just make him leave it as is so we can get to school.  When he flips out, I can usually stay calm and explain that I gave him time to do it but we have a deadline that morning that we cannot miss.  Every once in a while, I am not that sane and I simply go into crazy mom mode and scream “Mario, we have got to go – just put on the daggone shoes and move!”  Likewise, Mario usually makes the deadlines once he knows I am serious.  Every once in a while he goes into crazy son mode and scream “Mom, these are not perfect and I will not leave this house!”  In the end, we respect each other’s mania, and let it go as part of life.  Of course, Maria always stands up for Mario and tells me “Mom, he is just a baby boy and you need to calm down.  Just calm yourself…”   And, she is right.  Mario has taught me patience – a virtue I have always struggled with since I was a child.  I like to think I am a little better because of him.

Summer’s End

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Maria started first grade today.  There we all stood at 8:05 this morning waiting for the side doors to the school to open.  Parents huddled together chatting about how quickly the summer flew by and how old the kids looked.  The kids stood at guard against their parents thighs anxious and nervous to start another year. 

Maria woke up this morning in a pleasant, calm mood (much better than she had been the night before – worried and cranky about starting school).  She wore a dress that Mama Ionno had bought her this Summer.  One thing I love about my girl is that she was not all about buying new outfits for school.  She is like her parents that way – Jon and I rarely go out to shop; only in desperation.  I could not believe the number of women who asked her if she bought a new dress for the first day of school.  It didn’t bother her though – she simply replied with a “uh-uh” and moved on her merry way.  Of course, I act as if she is some holier than thou girl who shuns all material goods.  I must admit that when I asked her what she wanted to do before her first day of school, she did not say “go shopping” much to my liking but she did say “Get a manicure and pedicure.”  And after getting a manicure and pedicure, I realized it would have been a lot cheaper to just buy a dress!

Maria's pedi (including a peace sign)

When the first bell rung, we all herded through the doors and up the stairs to Maria’s Room 203.  Her teacher hastily greeted us and took our paperwork and invited Maria to have a seat.  Maria had a book about Arthur at her seat.  She liked that.  She is sitting at a table with two boys.  I am sure she liked that, too.  She sat in her seat and put on her name tag.  She looked like a lot of the other kids.  Nervous; bewildered; slightly excited.  I kept giving her hugs and kisses until she finally said in an exasperated tone “Mom” and shooed me out with her hand.  She is no longer my baby kindergartener. 

I left work early to pick her up from school.  She smiled so big when she saw me which makes all of the make-up work I had to do tonight on the computer so worth it.  But when she walked up to me, the first thing out of her mouth was not “I love you mom; thanks for getting me.” No, instead it was “Where’s Zach?”  Zach is her new best friend who lives one block over from us.  She walked home with Zach and Zach’s mom and I tried like mad to get them to talk about their first day of school.  They just goofed off and ignored us.  We did learn that Maria’s favorite part of the day was lunch and that recess is before lunch this year.  But that was about it. 

Reading Arthur

She got homework for tonight – she had to find three things that reflect who she is or what she likes.  She chose a flag of Michigan since she loved to vacation there with Jon and me; a pair of goggles since she loves to swim; and a marker because she likes to draw.  She did not want to read with me for ten minutes and when I tried to help her pronounce words, she got flustered.  We stuck with one book only tonight.  Baby steps – we still have another nine months to go…

Tearing up Kings Island!

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We tore up Kings Island yesterday!  On Wednesday, I watched the weather report for the rest of the week.  They called for beautiful weather on Thursday and Friday and storms all weekend.  Maria starts school this coming week and I had been wanting to do something special with her for the last week.  I pulled up Kings Island’s website and took a look at the rides.  I debated back and forth on whether to take the dive.  I finally called my girlfriend who has a Season’s Pass and asked her what she thought about taking M&M to the park.  She sealed the deal when she told me she had coupons for $20 a person to get into the park (normally $59 and $39).  Now was the time to brave it.

We woke up on Friday morning and gathered up our suits and shoes and movies and workbooks.  A couple of granola bars, waters and movies later (Maria found the headphones for the video player in the car so she gets to watch hers and Mario watches his (not spoiled at all)), we were already at the park.  The kids stood in awe of the gigantic roller coaster 100 feet away, and listened to the screams of the riders.  Mario exclaimed “Mom, you and dad could not ride that because you would be so scared!”  I asked him if he would ride it and to my surprise he said “No way!”  He is normally my daredevil.  Maria said she would though – she is my daredevil lately. 

Looking down below

We charged in the gates with our bag of cheese pretzels, raisins, waters, and cheese and crackers.  Jill pointed us to Kiddie Land.  The first ride we saw was the Boo Monster ride.  The line was just slightly out the door and the clock indicated that it would be a 30 minute wait.  Maria and Mario begged to go on it.  I was hopeful that they put the little hands on 30 minutes with the thought that you would probably get in within 15 minutes but if you didn’t, you would not get so irritated.  My hopes were shattered when we moved into the cave and there was a line twirling around 6 lanes.  I did not think that Maria and Mario would do too well in that line but they surprised their mama.  They barely whined at all as we crawled through the lanes and got to the ride.  Mario hung on the bars and danced to the music and Maria stood in her own little world thinking about what 6-year-old girls think (?!).  The ride was pretty lame by my standards, and I think Maria felt the same way.  Mario, on the other hand, loved it because it involved using a plastic gun to try to shoot ghosts and goblins that popped up while on the ride.  Any ride that involves guns and violence will win my boy over.

We moved over to a couple of “kiddie” rides (helicopters, cars, etc.) and then we made our way to the log floom.  My favorite when I was a kid.  My girlfriend, Beth and I would stand in line for an hour or longer just to get on this ride and get soaked by the water as we plunged down the hill.  I told stories about Beth and me while we waited.  Luckily, we were there early enough to only have to wait about a half hour before getting on the ride.  Mario had already taken off his shirt and shoes before we got in the boat.  Unfortunately, the workers made him put on his shoes.  This really bothered my little man.  He did not want to get his gym shoes wet.  Maria wore her suit, too and had begged to wear her flip-flops so she was in a good state.  When the boat took off, Mario wanted the front.  By the time we had moved 100 feet, water had splashed in the boat and gotten his shoes wet.  “I don’t like this ride, mom!”  I calmed him down until we got ot the top of the hill and got ready to take the plunge.  maria was so excited.  And then, swoosh!  We flew down the hill and Mario and I got a decent soaking (not as good as my teenage days)!  Maria was in the back so she didn’t get as much (and she is the one that wanted it!).  Mario stepped out of the boat pissed as can be.  “Mom, I never want to go on that again – my shoes are so wet and my hair is messed up!”  Yeah, I kid you not. 

Mario still contemplating the telescope

In order to make it up to him, I took them to the “Eiffel Tower.”  We rode up on the glass elevator and my stomach sunk with each additional foot we rose.  I cannot hang with heights any more.  When we stepped off, the kids darted straight to the edge to look down.  It took me two minutes to gain my composure and head their way.  Mario yelled “Mom, come here, you can see Africa and North Carolina!”  Maria wondered where Grandma Lolo and Grandma Menkedick lived.  They loved it.  I was happy when they wanted to head down ten minutes later.  Next, we went to the games area.  Why?  I still have that competitive kid in me that wants to win a stuffed animal.  When Beth and I went to the park, we spent hours at the games trying to win animals (how did we have that money?!).  I loved the bowling game (probably because it only cost 25 cents).  You have to push the bowling bowl over one hill and make it stay in the valley and not come back over the hill again.  It is hard as heck but when I was young, I had some knack for it.  I won many a stuffed bear and monkey playing that game.  As an adult, not so  lucky.  Maria and Mario and I tried numerous times and only left frustrated.  We moved to the slingshot game and the plinko but no wins.  Our only hope was the Guess your Weight or Birthdate game.  Maria walked up and asked the girl to guess her weight.  She got on the scale and topped 63 pounds.  The girl had guessed 59 and could only be off by three.  She won!  Mario was next and I knew should guess his weight so we did birth month.  She guessed May and she had to be within 2 months so Mario won!  Maria took two seconds to pick out her bear.  Mario took 20 minutes.  He could not choose between a telescope (that would have cost a $1 at the dollar store) and a whale stuffed animal.   He begged for both of them.  He finally chose the darling whale.  When we walked over to watch another game he told me he wanted the telescope.  We went to exchange it and he begged me again to let him have both.  After ten minutes, he decided to keep the whale but kept mouthing to me “And the telescope.”  He never stops.  As we left, he tried to bargain to come back to KI on Saturday to get the telescope.  He knows how to keep the pressure on.

Maria enjoying the lazy river

After the games, we were all starting to break down a bit.  The kids were leaning back in the stroller holding their animals and I was moving a lot slower.  But no rest for the weary!  We decided to trek it over to the waterpark for some water fun!  I asked where is was located and a worker told me where to catch the tram.  I asked if I could walk, and he laughed.  “Sure, but most people take the tram.”  When we got to the tram pick-up, I saw a path to the park.  I decided to walk with the kids.  The waterpark could not have been 1000 feet from the tram pick-up.  It would have taken more time to load up the stroller than to walk.  People need to move more.  ALl sorts of different folks packed the waterpark.  We hit the shallow pool and then moved onto the slides and squirters.  I got rather freaked at that station because I could not keep a good eye on Maria.  Mario was so cold that he clung to me but when Maria went up the stairs and through all of the jungle gym squirty stuff, I lost her.  I watched the slides hoping to see her.  Nothing.  I ran to the other side.  Nothing.  I ran back and climbed the steps. Nothing.  Finally, I looked down and saw her going down the slide.  “Maria!” SHe looked at me and it was love at first sight.  One of life’s greatest feelings – to find your kid when you think they are missing.  I warned her that she had to stay close.  Some of these parents just let their kids go on their own throughout the area but I am so not one of them.  I know I am going to be bad when she gets to the age that she can go off by herself – I get anxious already about the day.  We rode the lazy river next.  Mario and I got in an inner tube for about 3 minutes and then we were ready to walk and end the trip.  Maria, on the other hand, laid back in her inner tube, head propped on the headrest and eyes closed.  She enjoyed every minute of it.  

Family pose waiting for a ride (with Mr. Comedian)

After the water park, we headed back to the rides for some bumper cars (Mario loved hitting other kids’ cars but was mad he did not hit enough) and the “mini” roller coaster (cars go around in a circle and speed up around the corner).  We also hit a little bigger roller coaster that actually had a hill to it (albeit small) and Maria sat in the front and held up her arms.  Mario leaned into my chest to hide.  You get the picture of the daredevil in the family, heh? 

I finally persuaded them to leave the park 6 1/2 hours later by telling them we would go to McDonald’s play land up the street.  Yeah, I am not kidding.  I was craving a hamburger anyway.  I just needed out of the park, too.  The kids played in the Playland; we saw Grandma Lolo; and I loaded up on Diet Coke and fries to steer us back to Columbus.  On the way home, Maria and Mario held their animals tight as they watched the rest of their movies.  When we got home, Maria begged me to sleep with her.  I said no at first but then the thought of lying horizontal sounded too good.  I tapped her shoulder as she laid in her bed, and she came running into my room.  We laid together talking about KI and school and how much we would miss our house when we moved.

Ronald McDonald visited us!

“Really, mom? Really?”

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Maria first said it a few weeks ago to Jon as we were eating dinner.  Jon called her a name of a friend of hers that can act spoiled at times.  Maria stopped eating, clocked her head sideways at him, and said “Really, dad? Really?”  Jon and I about spit out our food.  Since that time, I have been the recipient of the “really” question when I try to be goofy around Maria and her friends (yeah, it is already starting) or I tell Maria something that makes no sense (which is more frequent than I would like – what happens to the mind with kids!). 

Maria continues to come into her personality.  She has such a great mixture of Jon and I.  She is quick-witted and observant like her dad and empathetic and thoughtful like her mom.  She can notice things an adult would typically notice and comment on (“Did you buy new pillows for the couch?”) and put up a fit like an adult (i.e., her mother).  The other day, Mama Meg had to wake her up to go to the stables (note to all: Maria is not pleasant to wake from a nap).  She threw a fit, stomping around, pouting.  Finally, after fifteen minutes she bellowed “I can’t handle this anymore!”  I am sure she picked up that line from me during one of my tirades.  She is a doll baby with the little kids on the street.  She watches over them like a mother hen and explains what everything is to them in slow, baby language.  And the kids adore her.  She can also sit with a bunch of adults and keep up with the conversation adding her two cents in or her dig in with the best of ’em.  She also dresses to her own style completely.  We used to laugh about my little sis, Sarah, and her attire because my dad would drape her in long plaid skits and multi-colored shirts and beat-up shoes.  Maria dresses that way naturally.  My old soul girl.

Then there is Mario who learns so much from his sis.  He has resorted to the “Really, mom, really?” question lately.  Of course when I asked him where he learned it, he smiled that sly smile and stated “Ria.”  He also learned how to talk smack to Jon when they are play fighting.  Maria started this a while back when her and Jon were play fighting in her room.  She busted out “You wanna piece of me?” Since that time, it has ranged from “come on, boy, I will take you down” to “you think you can handle me?”  Yesterday, Mario gave the two finger warning to Jon when he took his index and middle fingers and pointed them at his eyes and then at Jon’s eyes declaring “I will take you down.”  It was hysterical. 

Mario continues to deepen his love for super heroes.  He wants to watch them all the time, and he plays with them in the tub, in his room, and with Jon and me.  When I took him to the pool today, he slashed away at the fountains acting like he was a good superhero and they were bad guys.  He begged me to be Venom while he was Spiderman so that he could fight me and throw me underwater (I spent 15 minutes getting thrown underwater – I really deserve a mom of the year medal).  Mario is also really into his muscles.  They are not that big because he is so small but I have to admit, he is one cut three-year old.  He is always taking his shirt off and looking at them, and he constantly notices other men with big muscles.  Runners without shirts intrigue him (“Look at that boy’s muscles, mom!”).  He thinks his dad can pick up anything because of his big muscles.  He has taken to taking off his shirt in front of the mirror and flexing his muscles and puffing out his chest and yelling “Look at these muscles!”  I guess it all ties into the super hero theme but boy I hope he doesn’t have some massive ego when he gets older.  I can see him strutting his stuff down Grandview Avenue loving the thought of all the girls ogling over him.  Then again, what am I thinking?  Maria will so put him in his place.

Sweet Gal Cousins

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Some of the cousins on Easter

I have the greatest cousins.  I am the oldest child to the oldest sister of the Heile family so I have eleven years over my eldest cousin.  Then it gradually increases in years up to 25  or so.  We all have our idiosyncracies and varied beliefs and traditions but despite all of this, most of us are pretty tight knit, especially the gals.  Laura, my oldest cousin and Maggie, born five or so years later, have both graced Jon and I with their presence in Columbus at some time over the last few years.  Laura lived up here for a couple of years and Maggie lived up here throughout college and now during grad school. 

Laura is forthright and imperturbable.  She can party like a LA girl but can also sit around the house all afternoon play fighting with Mario or braiding Maria’s hair.  She has an answer to any question.  I can ask a question about a kind of plant and she will chime in with a quick answer and then ask about how to handle an ice cream brain freeze and she is just as quick with a response.  I envy her straight-forwardness and ability to tell it like it is.  I have always tread away from correcting people when they are wrong about something, e.g., Person: “George Bush was a democrat.” Me: “Really? Ok.” Conversation continues.  I feel like any correction – even if it would benefit the person in the end – would be taken too harshly so I avoid it.  A trait I want to work on because I know the value of constructive feedback.  On the other hand, if someone told Laura that Bush was a democrat, she would not hesitate to tell that someone that Bush was a republican.  On the same note, I know I can go to Laura for a straight answer if I just got my hair done and I am hesitant about whether it looks whacked or not.  She will tell me straight up I need to head back to the salon. 

Mag and Laura and the kids

Maggie is a good-hearted, all-american college gal.  She is a lot like her mama, my Aunt Julie.  She has the same mannerisms (e.g., biting her cheek and nails) and traditions (e.g., smacking your butt really hard in jest).  She does not take any grief from Maria or Mario – if they give her lip, she addresses it.  If they hit, she disciplines.  If they ask her to get them something, she tells them to walk over themselves.  Give these kids of mine a week with her and they would be whooped into shape.  But she also shows them love and tenderness and has taught Maria a very important fact about boys.  “Always date someone who is also your friend.”  Maria took that one to heart.

Laura and Maggie came by on Saturday after their night out on campus and we went to the pool.  Maria got to show off jumping off the high dive and Mario got to show off by doing power rangers’ moves off the low dive.  Maria hung with her girl cousins and role models while I made sure Mario kept his paws off the girls at the low dive (he tried to squeeze them).  Laura and Maggie had a diving board contest during adult swim with Maria rating their jumps – I think Maggie pulled it out.  When we got home, Laura braided Maria’s hair in the cutest style ever.  Maria looked like a young teen model – scary.  They also spiked Mario’s hair up to the sky, which he loved.  We walked to the yogurt shop for some yummy dessert and watched Maria do her runway catwalks for us.  She loved the attention and time with them. 

I missed them when they left Saturday evening.  I love their influence on the kids, especially Maria.  And I love the girl power they bring with them when we are together.

Moments

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Moments from this past weekend:

Mario running and jumping into the pool, arms crossed in a rapper style pose, rising up with those green goggles sucked onto his face and smile as wide as the ocean;

Maria climbing up the ladder to the high dive, walking confidently to the edge, looking down at me and the water, smiling and jumping in with feet planted firmly down to hit the water first (avoiding that belly flop she initially landed)

Maria on the playground swing, hair shooting everywhere and face filled with exhilaration as the chains untwist while she flies high in the sky

Mario scaling the outside of the plastic slide like a mountain climber

Maria showing her cousin around our potential new house like it was ours already, pointing out all of her favorite spots including her attic bedroom.

Mario and Maria dancing around in the fountains at the Scioto Mile

Mario raising his hand to the tour guide at the Santa Maria after she explained how they trapped rats in a wood box, emptied them in the ocean, and then used the wood box again to trap more rats.  The tour guide called on him and Mario explained “I have a book at home that Mommy reads called Michael Recycle.  We recycle, too.”

The pride in seeing my teachings come alive in Mario as he yells at a driver that beeped at us “We are not killing animals and polluting – we are walking not driving!” 

Maria performing her rap with arms cocked up and head moving side-to-side rapper-style “This isn’t the doghouse, this is the kitty litter house” and Jon and I cracking up at personality on that girl.  We see Baby Maria Slick coming to record stores soon.

Watching Maria race up the street on her bicycle begging to go all the way to Giant Eagle without me and Mario (“I am almost 7 now mom; I don’t need you anymore = I can do it by myself.”)

Mario taking down his shorts and undies on the side of the porch and peeing in the bushes (“Mom, boys are allowed to go pee outside in the woods.”)

Maria crawling into bed with me at 5 am and cuddling up against me with her cold feet and wrapped around my legs and her sweet breath against my neck

Feeling Mario rub my arm as we lay together at bedtime and waking up to see his little mouth barely open in such a deep glorious sleep. 

It is official

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It is official…  Maria has morphed into my little sis, Sarah.  There were signs in the past.  Sarah loved to take long baths.  Maria loves to sprawl out in the bathtub with her head immersed in the water staring up at the ceiling.  Sarah wore long flowing skirts with hippy cotton shirts (due to dad’s dressing skills, or lack thereof).  Maria does the same (of her own will). 

In Sarah attire!

And Sarah loves books.  Last night, Maria told me she was going to read one of my books – an adult book.  I was upstairs cleaning the bathroom so I mumbled “ok” and went about my cleaning.  When I came downstairs, she was sitting on the step reading Annie Dillard.  Deeply immersed.  She looked up at me with those big blue eyes and long tangled blond hair and I saw Sarah 20 years ago. 

Maria’s affection for Sarah took some time.  When Maria was little and Sarah would come in town, Maria would cry “No Sarah!” over and over until Sarah left my side.  Now she begs to see her and asks me questions like “Do I  look like Aunt Sarah” while she reads or “would Aunt Sarah like this” when we pass a toy or book related to Mexico.  I am very cool with the idolization of Sarah bit – no jealousy on my part at all in having my daughter think my little sis is a superstar.  If Maria could get one percent of Sarah’s love for books and five percent of Sarah’s passion for adventure and growth, I would be very pleased.