Mothers are all slightly insane. – JD Salinger, Catcher in the Rye
And there you have it summed up well. I thought of this quote tonight as I sat with my girlfriend, Amy and her two kids and husband at Jeni’s ice cream parlor. Maria and Mario wanted to see Zach and Grace (Amy’s kids) and we decided to meet at a local ice cream parlor and sit outside. Zach is as wild as Mario so whenever the two of them get together, it tends to be chaotic. Gracie and Maria do their own thing – typically not together since there is a two-year difference – but they are cool with just hanging out in their own separate hemispheres.
When we got to Jeni’s, Amy and her hubby already had a table. Zach came running up to me and rammed into my side. Mario jumped on him and fake-punched him in the back. Maria climbed on Mario. Gracie watched. Let the chaos begin. A friend with a daughter in Maria’s class was in front of me in line for ice cream. She began to make small-talk with me about what teacher Maria had next year while Mario was dodging in and out of the stools with Zach. This is how the conversation ensued:
Her: “So, who does Maria have this year?”
Me: “She has, ugh…Mario, get off the floor and stand over here now! She has Ms. Palmer – is she any (evil eye to Mario) good?”
Her: “I hear she is just awesome. Did Maria like her first grade teacher?”
Me: “Yeah, she… Mario, stand still now; do not move another inch or no ice cream! Yes, she really liked her – Maria, watch out for the wandering baby! – first grade teacher.”
And so it went for another five minutes as my friend waited in line without any children in tow surely thanking the heavens for a night with no interruptions. When I went to sit down, it started all over again. Amy and I would get a question and half an answer out before interrupting one or the other with a command to one of the children. But somehow we were able to pick up where we left off in the conversation – even if it was right in mid-sentence – and complete our thoughts. Mothers may be slightly insane but we can multi-task with the best of them and walk away from a get-together having got caught up on each others’ lives and kept the children from disaster!
Tag: Parenting
One Lovely Blog Award
I began blogging to keep a history of the times (good and bad) with my two children, Maria and Mario. I began a diary when my first child, Maria, was born. I wrote in it nearly every day for a year and a half and then fairly frequently after that time until my second child was born, Mario. Then I fell into the insanity of newborn land with no sleep and lots of feeding – poopy diapers – feeding – poopy diapers. The diary ceased production. However, the times we had with the kids were better than ever and the things coming out of Maria’s and Mario’s mouths were too good not to document. There were some rough times, too, and the blog provided an outlet for me to vent (when my hubby was tired of listening!).
I bring up my reason for writing this blog because I am very humbled to have been nominated for the One Lovely Blog Award by an incredible blogger, Patty. I did not imagine my blog being noticed by fellow bloggers, and I appreciate Patty’s shout out to me. Patty is a mom who heads up the blog Discover and Devour. Patty writes about the trials and tribulations with her son who is fairly new to this world – born in 2011. She focuses on child development, particularly literacy and language. She has great book reviews and information on literacy. Check her out!
The Rules of Acceptance:
- Thank the person/people who nominated you and link back to them in your post.
- Share seven possibly unknown things about yourself.
- Nominate fifteen or so bloggers you admire.
- Contact the chosen bloggers to let them know and link back to them
Seven Things You May Not Know About Me:
1. I could not get enough of the Brady Bunch when I was little and would sob if I missed one episode.
2. I am addicted to running and listening to NPR.
3. I bike to work in a dress and gym shoes.
4. I adore UDF chocolate chip peanut butter ice cream with hot fudge topping, whipped cream and a cherry on top.
5. I could listen to Michael Jackson songs all day long (especially Off The Wall songs).
6. I love to see people smile.
7. I would love to meet Shirley MacLaine but may faint before I actually got to speak to her!
I nominate the following bloggers for the One Lovely Blog Award:
Partyin’ with potato salad
Jon took over the kitchen Sunday morning; there was no stopping the man. When Mario and I got home from our run, we found him hunched over peeling potatoes into a glass bowl. He had spices out, jars open, and utensils scattered. It was quite a breath-taking (and rather attractive) sight. Patty gave him the recipes to her potato salad and her baked beans, and he would not let anyone else see them or work on them. Once he decides to cook, everyone else must scatter away from his kitchen space. After tasting his potato salad, I am happy to give him all the space he needs. He is a heck of a cook. That is how he wowed me when we were dating – he’d bring me soup while I studied for the bar.
Maria and Mario and I cleaned rooms and the kitchen, and got ready for Gracie to come over. Maria loves to babysit that girl but Maria is a tough bird. Gracie does something bad and Maria says “Grace Ann Wells! You should not do that!” She is everything I am not! Discipline, structure…. god help her children. Grace arrived at 1 pm, and yelled “Aunt Mary!” She was glued to my hip the rest of the day except when she took a two-hour nap in the middle of the afternoon. Maria read her The Fly Guy before her nap and when we all left the room, she babbled for fifteen minutes and then fell asleep. That is a foreign occurrence for Jon and me. We would have to rock M&M to sleep, rub their backs for 20 minutes, lay with them, you name it. All of those hurdles before any sleep would occur. And then, 9 times out of ten, they’d be up within a half an hour anyway. So Grace is a piece of cake.
While the gals napped, Mario played Ben Ten games on the computer. He had his Cheez-Its next to his side as he intently concentrated on his next move. His concentration allowed me to get the house decorated for Maggie Jean’s party. Of course, I had felt that we had it all under control the night before but then inevitably, the day of, I find myself scrambling to get everything together. Maggie, our graduate, arrived to the house at 4 pm after sitting in 90 degree heat for four hours. Julie and Liz were with her – Liz having sat through graduation on Friday in Cincinnati. We broke out the celebratory beer and chips and dip, and let the party begin! Maria was instantly mesmerized with Maggie’s friends Sarah and Annie. Mario acted silly with Maggie’s dad, Denny. Gracie stayed on my hip the entire afternoon, which I loved. Liz kept telling me to put her down but I just couldn’t do it. She was so happy hanging out with me that I had to soak in the love.
My aunt Terrie and aunt Ann arrived a little later. They had not seen the house since we bought it. They each brought me a house-warming gift from Pottery Barn (high-class aunts, I will say…), and gave accolades galore about the house. So sweet. I was so excited that they came up to Columbus because I don’t get to see them often. Terrie is in Marietta, Georgia with her hubby and three boys and Ann is in Washington DC and Dubai with her job and beau. When I was little, Terrie and Julie used to invite me over to their apartment on the West side of Cincy for sleep overs and I remember listening to slow sappy 70’s love songs on the radio. Time with them was a treat – hanging with the older girls. Ann is only a year and a half older than me (the youngest of eight) and I looked up to her like a big sis. She was into serious heavy rock when she was in high school and I used to just sit in her room and watch her get dressed to go out as she banged her head to Motley Crue. And now here we all were standing my kitchen as adults. Life is strange.
At one point in the evening, we brought out Dairy Queen cake for Maggie. We were all joking about what to sing to her, what the cake said, etc. and I all of a sudden felt a rush of gratitude and joy for having the day with my aunts and cousins. I just wanted to lean over the table and smooch ’em all on the lips but I figured that may not have come off as I would have planned so I just smiled at them all and lit the candle for Maggie to blow out. After cake, Julie and Terrie helped me figure out the weeds versus plants in the garden. I have a lot of weeds but weeds look like plants to me; in fact, I think I am prone to liking weeds more than plants and flowers. They are tough cookies – not dying for anything and growing back even stronger than before. There is something you have to respect in the weed. But we pulled ’em out nonetheless. We would have been out there all night if Jon wouldn ‘t have announced that there is poison ivy in the garden. That blasted Ter and Jul out of the garden and into the bathroom to wash off. I would have felt like a total heel if they had gotten poison ivy.
The aunts left a while later – all three of them heading to Starbucks to get a coffee for the road. Little do they know how much I think of them and appreciate their generosity in traveling up north to see me. And Julie constantly opening her house to me and the kids when we are in Cincy. It is a rare gift to receive. With their departure, we just had Maggie and her friends left at the house. Maria and Mario were in heaven – Mario danced to I’m Sexy and I Know It and played ball with the boys, and Maria brushed the boys’ hair so that they could “pick up rich girls.” I am sure they were wondering what they had done to deserve a night at our house.
Everyone hit the road around 9:30 and the kids hit the sack pretty quickly. I got to watch my HBO show, Girls, and eat the rest of the DQ ice cream cake. What a great life.
Pushing away
Maria refuses to come home. She has been in Cincinnati since Friday morning when Maggie drove her down. Just six months ago, she would have cried for her mama after one night. Now, she tells me to stay in Columbus and not come get her. I can see why – she is getting pedicures and manicures from Aunt Ann, time to babysit Gracie, trips to garage sales with Aunt Julie and Terrie, and attention from her grandma and all of her cousins and other aunts. Columbus cannot compete.
It is yet another step towards independence just like her desire to ride her bike up the street all by herself. I remember dreaming about this type of independence when she was two and a half-years old throwing her binky at me one minute and pulling on me to hold her the next. But now it doesn’t feel quite right. She seems too young to be moving in this direction. I want that two and a half-year old back even if I have to take a binky in the forehead.
Ahh, but in thinking harder about it, I guess I don’t. I guess I just want the affection back, and the desire to take refuge in my arms. Intellectually, I know that how she is acting is healthy and a sign of confidence. I remember reading an article a while back that talked about kids’ confidence levels. A study had shown that kids who feel comfortable holding their ground with their parents (e.g., parent wants to leave but kid says she doesn’t want to leave) are typically more self-confident because their parents have given them the opportunity to not be fearful in standing their ground (now, there obviously comes a point where this self-confidence leads to bratty and obnoxious behavior and I am sure the study went on to find those kids are now occupying positions in Congress). I think of this study when Maria acts this way to me, and chant in my head “I have made her a self-confident girl…I have made her a self-confident girl….”
I wonder if I will feel as strongly when Mario begins to push away? Or is it just a mother/daughter phenomena? I harbor dreams of Maria changing this world in some way that suits her – I’d love if her suit involves curing cancer, feeding the poor, saving the environment. But she can’t stay snuggled under her mother’s bosom and achieve any of those aforementioned feats or others. I have the same dreams for Mario and can only assume, since he is glued to my hip, that I will feel much the same way when he decides to unravel the tie that binds us. Maybe this process with Ri will lessen the sting a bit with Mario. Or maybe it will be a different set of feelings that onset with that little guy. I should have another couple of years before I find that out.
Thank you, bike.
How awesome is it to watch your first-born ride her bike confidently down the road?
So Awesome!
Mario rode in the bike seat on my bike while Maria rode her bike ahead of us. Maria mesmerized me as she experimented with taking one hand off the handlebar, lifting her butt off the seat, zig-zagging her bike along the sidewalk. Wasn’t it just yesterday that she was scared to have me let go of the handlebars, and now she is a biking machine,. I love it. She led us all they way to Upper Arlington to play at a new park. A cool little park with a stream and a climbing wall and fun obstacles. When we were heading out, Mario complained that he didn’t want to leave. She turned around and said jokingly “I knew you would be complainin’ about leaving!” She was clearly proud that she led us to the park, and enjoying her new-found activity of biking. We took the long way home – past all of the outdoor restaurants and shops – and she lifted her head up high as she passed the crowds. I could feel her self-confidence even as Mario and I rode 20 feet behind her.
Thank you, bike.
Distance really does make the heart grow fonder
Maria Grace stayed with Jon’s mom this entire week. We went up for Memorial Day on Monday and she just returned today. I swear she looks two years older. She got four inches cut off of her hair during her stay with Grandma. She greeted me with a huge hug and smile but when I asked her how her time was with Grandma and Alana, she responded “it was fine but I don’t want to talk about it.” Huh?! I asked her if something went wrong and she looked at me puzzled. “No, mom, I just don’t feel like talking about it.”
Ok. I am not ready for this response when just two weeks ago she would have went on and on about her time with Alana and her adventures with Grandma. Well, maybe I exaggerate a bit – she has never been that talkative about her days; but she used to at least summarize them for me! I let it go in order to just enjoy the moment with her – soak up her smile and her laugh. Mario yelled “Ria” when he saw her and gave her a huge hug that lasted 30 seconds. He had been asking when she’d be home for the last three days.
One of the first tasks that Maria set out to do when she walked in the house was write a letter to Ann Curry. Yes, the Today Show’s Ann Curry. Jon and I default to NBC News in the morning, and Maria enjoys watching it, too. She loves Ann Curry; she thinks she’s smart and stylish. Her letter told her as much and she also added a sentence stating that Ann Curry helps her learn more about the world. Precious. I had Maria write Ann Curry’s name and address on the front of the envelope with the hopes that it does not get pitched since it is clearly from a kid. We will keep our fingers crossed…!
Meanwhile, Mario and I wrestled. He made me grab his leg each time he started to turn the DVD dial and then after I grabbed it, he shocked me with the electric waves coming out of his fingers. I had to play dead for five seconds and then come back alive to do it all over again. He could have played that game with me for two hours but I could only handle about 15 minutes. I had to play a game of HeadBandz in order to get him off the wrestling kick, and then find his Spiderman costume for him to wear.
I got a massage in the mid-afternoon, which was a piece of heaven for an hour. Is there anything better than a scalp massage at 3 pm? And I could hire someone to rub my feet all day long and think it was money well spent. I lifted myself off the massage table afterwards, and had deep creases along my face and legs – a sign of a good massage. Jon decided to cook lemon chicken for dinner so we spent an hour preparing the chicken and the sides while the kids played on the computer and drew. It was a very strange yet wonderful experience for us. Strange to smell sweet aromas throughout the kitchen and wonderful to cook our own meal (the joke is that we have only used our pots and pans a handful of times since we were married in 2002).
The kids even liked it! And Maggie, hung over and all, enjoyed it, too. After dinner, we rode our bikes up to the mailbox to deliver Ann Curry’s letter (and a b-day card to Grandma Lolo) and chow on some Orange Leaf. Mario gave up on his bike at Stauf’s so I carried him the rest of the way (I am a sucker!). Jon played on his new scooter for a bit; Maggie texted her friends and engaged in time trials with the kids; and I cleaned up. A good ending to a long day. I am excited to have Maria back with us even if she doesn’t want to divulge her week to me. As long as I still get those hugs, I am ok.
Being conscious of treasures
We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures. ~Thornton Wilder
I am making a conscious effort each day to step back at certain moments in time, be it with the kids or work colleagues or Jon or by myself, and appreciate the moment for what it offers to me. These small retreats build up, and by the time evening rolls in and I am putting on my pjs alongside Maria and Mario, I generally feel grateful for what life has offered me through the day (there are those rare evenings where even a day full of wonderful moments can be demolished by a child going through a temper tantrum).
There are tons of books and magazines and blog sites touting the benefits of gratitude but it’s not until you actually make that conscious effort of practicing it that it hits home. I feel more serene when I go to sleep, more hopeful during my day, more positive in my outlook. Overall, I guess I would say I am more “happy” – whatever that looks like. I simply feel more alive and more connected.
Today, I got to take a run in the morning for the first time in two weeks. Jon stayed with Mario while I ran through the neighborhood and lifted weights at the gym. Listening to NPR for 45 minutes was the best gift I could receive from Jon. On my run home, as I listened to Michael Jackson’s Beat It and looked at the gardens lining our street, I had one of those step-back moments. I felt an intense swelling of gratitude for Jon, and his selflessness in letting me get up in the mornings to do the thing I love to do. I also felt grateful for my legs – yeah, my legs! For allowing me to be able to run the distance I am able to run and let my mind drift as I listen to stories and news on NPR. It is such a treasure for me.
Later in the day, when I came home from work to find Mario and Jon already back from school, I felt that surge of gratitude rise again. Mario popped out of the family room with a whopping smile on his face telling me to close my eyes. When I opened, he had his home-made graduation cap on his head and the same smile across his face.
“I graduated today, mom!”
Some in his class graduated to Kindergarten today but they let all of the kids make caps (always politically correct). He was so proud of his creation. We took a bike ride later to get his haircut, and while on the bike, he asked me to sing to him. I sang him a rhyming song about how much I loved my boy cuz he was just like a toy, and his toes tasted like soy… (yeah, I know, pretty lame except to a four-year old), and he turned around laughing at me. It was the sweetest moment. I replay it in my head as I sit here tonight, and it still makes me smile as I think about it. When we got to the salon, he made me move away from him while the gal cut his hair because he wanted to be alone with her. He wanted to tell her how he wanted his hair. I sat in the seat up front the entire time without him ever calling out for me. When she finished, he got out of his chair, and walked over to me.
“What do you think, mom?”
“You look awesome, dude.”
He walked over to the mirror and put his hand through his hair, and nodded his head up and down. He knew he looked good. Man, I am grateful for that nut.
When we got home, Jon told me that he called Maria at Grandma Ionno’s house. Patty told him how Maria kept her and Joe laughing throughout the day with her quips. She was telling a story to Patty and Joe and Joe closed his eyes. She looked at Patty and said “I guess the story was a little long – no wonder Grandpa fell asleep!” That girl has got a personality to last a lifetime, and I am grateful beyond words to have her in my life (and I miss her like mad – get home, pumpkin girl!).
I am thankful for this consciousness of treasures I continue to sharpen in my daily life. Now, off to a good-night’s sleep.
Wearing him out
I have achieved the ultimate feat. I have conquered. I have prevailed.
I tired Mario out today!
He got stuck with his mom all day while Maria got to hang with Emi and Eli. Eli had a dance recital at the Rife Center (big time!) and Sherri called me to see if Ri wanted to go. That is a no brainer. Time with Emi and Eli versus time with mom and Mario. Yeah, E&E every time.
Mario and I dropped off Maria at 9:45 am. On the way over to their house, Maria tried to teach Mario some letter recognition. She is a born teacher taking after all of her Heile aunts. She showed me Mario’s “grades” when she got out of the car. She had a letter on the left side of the page and then anything from an “A+” to a “F-” on the right side of the page. SHe reported to me that Mario had way too many grades under a “C” and two “F-s”. I really needed to work with him if he was going to get better. Yes, Ms. Teacher.
Mario and I headed to Giant Eagle first to get a watermelon for tomorrow but ended up with $90 worth of groceries, too. Next, we swung down to Target to buy him a scuba set since he has been wanting to wear scuba gear for ages (a man after Papa Rod’s heart). After Target, we unloaded the car and got on our bathing suits. He agreed to a stroller ride to the pool so that I could get in a little run. I was drenched by the time we arrived since it was already 88 degrees out at noon. We “fought” in the pool throwing each other around and swimming away from each other. We dove off the low dives (Mario loves doing cannonballs now). We played in the baby pool. We stayed for an entire three hours, which is long for us, and especially me since I entertained him the entire time. We got a piece of pizza before we left and chowed it down on the picnic table. All of the carbs added to the exercise must have done it. Mario was out within five minutes of hitting the stroller seat. I walked around town for an hour in order to let him sleep (as soon as you take him out of the stroller, he wakes up – he was like that even as a baby). He finally woke up, and was in a lovely, cranky, “where am I” mood. We walked in the house and he fell to the floor in the mud room. He was still tired! I could not believe my eyes. This boy has not taken a nap for us in months, and even if he does, it is usually not longer than 45 minutes and he wakes up energized as ever.
When he finally did get up, he was still exhausted. I took a shower and he played on the computer. We both looked like we had gotten run over by a mack truck. We picked up Maria at 6 pm, and came home to veg. We read some books, played in the sprinkler, took a quick bike ride, and both of them were asleep by 10 pm! I know most parents are saying “10 pm? That is ridiculously late for kids!” But not for mine – especially Mario. His normal bedtime is 11 pm or after (even more so when Jon is gone). And he still wakes up at 6:30 am. He is super-human. But not today – I wore him down to the bone. Of course, I had high hopes that I could watch Veep or Girls on HBO after they fell asleep but I can barely keep my eyes open. Seems that he wore me to the bone, too. Rrrrr!
The life of a pinball
Mario and I met up with Maria and her friend and friend’s mom at 9:30 am at Stauf’s. The rest of the day is a blur. Thank god for iced coffees.
We walked down to the parade on First Avenue – the same place we go every year – nearly parallel to our old house but two streets over. We sat with Amy and Gracie and Joe and made a sign saying “Go Mets” in honor of Zach. Zach is on the Mets baseball team this year; Amy was so excited to see him in the baseball truck with the other soon-to-be second graders. All I could do was think of Mario in that truck three years from now, and the only visions of him were ones of him pelting people with tootsie rolls. There is always one or two little squirts that engage in such activity each year; last year, Mario got pelted in the eye by someone. So hopefully that horrific experience forever scarred him and he won’t engage in such behavior.
The parade was fun this year because we knew so many kids in it (and they limited the politicians)! After an hour parade, we gathered our two hefty bags of candy and walked a mile back home. Maria walked the entire way with me holding Mario. She is a machine (she did it in sandals; even I would have complained). We made a pit stop at the library to take a computer break. Maria played Go Girls Games and Mario played Ben Ten. I got a little reading time in, which was just the break I needed. Middle-school kids were signing up younger kids for the reading program. Maria asked to sign up. I was excited about her initiative. She asked to do it last year, too, but she could not read on her own and she wasn’t that into it. I am hoping that her ability to read better will lead to her reading more this Summer. She picked out a Junie B. Jones book and a couple more random ones. Let’s cross our fingers….
We plodded our way home from the library in the 88 degree heat. We immediately threw on our bathing suits, grabbed our goggles and towels, and jumped in the car. We had to drop the stroller off at the bike store because Mario and I bust a tire on our stroller ride earlier that morning (there was a loud firecracker-like bang and Mario yelled “Cool!”). Once at the bike store, Mario spotted a sweet red and black bike with training wheels. He jumped on it and flew around the store. I looked at the tag and it was expensive. How can a kid’s bike be over $100? Really? But I have had such bad luck with used bikes for him – none of them are steady or ride well – and it has caused him to get scared about riding. I do not want that with as much as Maria likes riding. So, I decided to bite the bullet and get it reasoning that he will have it for the next few years.
We left the store for the pool, which was absolutely packed since it was opening day. Mario and Ri went off the low dive and high dive, respectively. Mario tried the high dive but second guessed it after getting on top (I don’t blame him). He will jump off by the end of the Summer, I am sure. We only lasted at the pool for about 45 minutes; I was exhausted and luckily, the kids probably were, too.
Once home, we made bowls of cereal and rested in front of a Ben Ten on tv. Within ten minutes, Maria was snoozing on the couch. I tried to move her but she was solid dead weight – there was nothing waking her up. Mario, meanwhile, was wide awake and insane, jumping all around the room and acting like random aliens. I let him play on my computer while I went out and mowed the grass and watered the flowers. Then I came in and cleaned out the Study a bit in order to move our new desk in it. I was in cleaning mode. You’d think that it may have been wise to put my feet up and nap a bit with Ri, but that would have been too easy. Gotta keep the momentum going – once I sit down, I am useless for the rest of the day.
Maria finally woke up – two hours later – and she was a piece of work. Pissed off at the world. She stomped across the kitchen moping and pouting and crying. I left her alone and she finally buried her head in my chest and rested for a few minutes. Then she finally morphed into the Maria we know and love ready to ride her bike and play. We got Mario off the computer (not an easy task) and headed off on his new bike. He rocked it out on his bike almost keeping up with Maria. We had hoped that the Art Hop would offer a bouncey house or kids’ music but it only offered a couple of vendors selling necklaces. We dealt with our disappointment by going to the church park. I played tag with Mario and Maria climbed up the top of the slides (her favorite thing to do at the park). Amy and Joe met us up at the park with the kids and they all played for a bit. We all looked like zombies. It was comical. The day felt like three days. We finished the night off with Orange Leaf and a bike ride back home.
When we pulled in the driveway, there was a spectacular slice of moon looking down at us. We all stopped and gave reverence. Then, Maria shouted “Mario’s old bike is still at the library!” So, what else to do but jump in the truck and head to the library to pick up his bike. We finally got into the house at 10 pm. Maria wanted to read Junie B. Jones, and Mario was listening to music on my phone so I didn’t fight it. I just let them be and relaxed over a bag of Cheez-Its, and Maria later joined me.
What a whirlwind of a holiday Saturday. I swear to myself as I sit here tonight that tomorrow will be low-key day but I know myself better than that. We will be off and running – but not until 7:30 am.
Wrinkles and Moles
I made the wise move to not volunteer to be in charge of Maria’s end if the year party this year. I figure it will be an every other year project for me.
The mom in charge of the party sent out an email to the parents about donating for a gift for the teacher. I asked Maria what she looked like so I could give her money when I dropped off Maria at school. Maria’s response:
“She’s got a clean face.”
“What’s that mean,” I asked.
“She doesn’t have wrinkles or a mole on her face like you do. Oh, and she always wears high heels with her work outfit.”
Of course. Yet another mom who ranks high for not wearing gym shoes with her work outfit. I’m used to that dis but do you really need to point out my wrinkles and mole, little lady…! I will have you know my mole has been compared to Cindy Crawford’s mole.
You ask, “Who is she?”
Never mind.
"MOM!" 