
Mario shared this with me the day before Mother’s Day. He worked on it at school, and was positive that it pegged me to a tee. He was not wrong.
The food I cook best? “Corn”. Amen to that. It is very telling how my cooking skills have progressed since I was Mario’s age. My favorite food to cook in kindergarten was reported as “peas” and now my most delicious creation is corn. Hey, at least they are vegetables.
My favorite food: “chocolate”. He pegged me on that one.
What does your mom do to relax? “She does not relax.” Oh, sweet Mario. These are the best gifts ever from kids – homemade, heart-felt, brutally honest creations.
Next year, I am shooting for at least a food that requires more work than opening a can!
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Category: Parenting
Ri’s first Women’s Fund Keyholder event – 2014:
I first learned of the Women’s Fund when I got an email that Gloria Steinam was a guest speaker at one of their events. I admired Steinam and had read essays and speeches she had given. I knew she was a crucial voice in the women’s’ movement and that my mom had admired her as she grew into her own in the 70’s. My mom had also gifted me an autograph from Gloria Steinam to me after my mom attended an event with her in the early 1990s. I hadn’t given that autograph much thought since I had received it from my mom in my early 20s. It was stored away in a box with other childhood items. But when that email came across, something jolted in me.
I went home that evening and found the framed autograph. I’m sure I played with Ri, who was not even two at the time, and fed her dinner, and rocked her to sleep for hours. And then I made it downstairs to my computer, and typed in my Visa number to make a contribution to the Women’s Fund. They allowed you to write a tribute and so I did: to my mom for introducing me to Steinam and feminism and belief in self and hard work and equality. I thanked her for helping to make me a strong and loving mom to Maria. A few weeks later, I got a call from the Women’s Fund. They asked if I’d make a video of my tribute to play the night of the event. I was flabbergasted and thrilled. And immediately agreed. As I prepared my words to my mom, I brought out my framed autograph and hung it in Ri’s room. I believe there was a surge of power that entered her room when I hung it over her dresser that night. I think she felt it, too, as she squealed (or it could have been gas, but that’s not as riveting).
When I went to shoot the video, I had a plan. I was going to ask if Gloria Steinam would autograph the Women’s Fund invitation for Maria. How awesome would that be? There was no way that Ri could be anything but a strong, powerful, aware woman with two framed autographs from Gloria Steinam! And because Gloria Steinam is the incredible woman she is, she agreed. And Ri now has two autographs hanging on her wall.
Fast forward to a week ago – May 1, 2014. One day before Ri’s 9th birthday. I got to bring her as my guest to the Women’s Fund Keyholder event with Ashley Judd as the speaker. I explained to Ri about the Steinam autographs, about my commitment to helping women in need, about women supporting women, and she soaked it all in. She ran around City Hall’s grounds and posed with statues before we met up with her girlfriend and her mom.
We sipped on smoothies and talked about Ashley Judd (since the girls had not heard of her (when Ri read about her she was flabbergasted that she made a movie in 1995!)).
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While waiting on my girlfriend outside of the Ohio Theatre, Maria spotted a local news anchor from NBC 4 (her favorite weekday morning show). She pulled at my sleeve in awe.
“It’s Mikaela Hunt, mom!”
We walked over and Ri said hi to her. Ms. Hunt asked her some questions and Ri answered shyly. As we walked away, she stopped. She wanted her picture with her. We walked back and asked and this picture was taken:
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She was charged up. And she stayed that way throughout the night. They had videos in the beginning of the evening of women and girls talking about themselves and at the end of the clip, the women and girls would fill in a word on a blackboard that read “I am ______.” One wrote “brave”, another wrote “kind.” It was powerful, and I whispered to Ri that she was all those things.
Ashley Judd surprised me with her humor and grace and humility. I thoroughly enjoyed the discussion. She spoke of her humanitarian work and how overwhelming it can be to feel like you can’t do enough. She’d go back to her hotel room and sob in despair. And then she met a guide who clarified for her that she can only do what she is able and what she’s doing is powerful and effective. And she reminded her that she needs to make room for those closest to her because it’s only when we nourish those relationships with partners and kids and friends that we can truly give and feel satisfied giving to a range of others. That hit home for me. She was genuine and funny and inspiring.
At the end of the event, they asked for donations. Ri and I took the envelopes out of our bags. I explained to her what you could do with a donation, i.e., make it in honor of, or in memory of, someone. She brushed me away and said “I got it mom.” She then asked me for a sheet of paper. I looked over in the corner of my eye and saw her writing blank lines. Because she’s Ri, and so thoughtful, I had an inkling she was doing something for me. She bundled up the paper and put it in the envelope and gave it to me (she didn’t quite understand that she was supposed to add a Visa number and give it to the folks at the doors as we left). She told me to wait until we left the Theatre to open it. As we walked down High Street towards the car, I opened it.
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She had written all the adjectives that she believed described me. I was taken aback by her gesture and did the only thing I knew to do: capture her in a huge hug as tears formed in my eyes.
“No crying is allowed tonight, mama! Wipe those eyes and put on a smile!” (She’s got a lot of her dad in her). I listened to her and put on a smile as we posed by the statutes and giggled at each other on our way to the car. I am blessed with a strong community of women by my side between my moms and aunts and cousins and grandmothers and friends and colleagues. I am grateful for the women power at the event that night and for being able to allow my daughter to absorb it all. She clearly fit in perfectly.
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6 am wake-up call
It was just me and Mario on Saturday night. We planted a few flowers and watered the lawn and hit the sack but only after a bit of a meltdown because he wanted Quinn to spend the night. They had gone to the talent show at school from 6:30 until 8:30 pm and were hoping for a sleepover. To compromise, Stephanie and I agreed they could play as “soon as they woke up in the morning.” Before we went to bed, Mario made me promise I would wake him up whenever Quinn came over in the morning. I explained to him that he would definitely be up before Quinn and he attempted to convince me that Quinn got up when it was still dark.
Mario awoke at 6:05 am on Sunday morning – the birds were chirping but the sun had not risen.
“Is Quinn here?” He asked as he popped up from the bed fully expecting that he was at the foot of the bed ready to play.
“No buddy, he is not.”
“Can I go get him at his house?”
Seriously.
I reiterated that Quinn would not get up until 8 or so – a normal hour for most children. He looked at me in disbelief but I made him lay next to me and try to go back to bed. When I opened my eyes up five minutes later believing he’d be back to sleep, he was wide awake staring at the window. “I know Quinn is up.”
There was no going back to sleep. We got up and got ready to walk to Giant Eagle for a donut; I had convinced Mario that Quinn would be awake when we got home. It was close to 7 am by the time we fed Rocco and let him out. Mario plopped in the stroller and we walked down the driveway… and who do we see at our front door? Quinn. Gotta love it. Do you think they will be getting up this early when they’re teenagers? (I will wake them up at the crack of dawn and torture them as payback). Quinn hopped in the stroller with Mario after I went in the house to get an iPad for him to use. Look at these techno-geeks rocking it out in luxury up to Giant Eagle!

They played Minecraft and Animal Jam as I got in a little run. We stopped at the park to let out some energy. I did yoga while listening to these crazy boys act like they were commanders in a war. Quinn would act like he was shot and Mario would go run around him protecting him from bad guys. It was so sweet, in a macho boy sort of way…. Then they actually played on the swings and the slides. I gave them underdogs on the swings and they laughed hysterically as they flew up to the sky. That was sweet in a darling boy sort of way….
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We eventually made it to Giant Eagle for donuts and when we walked back into the house, it was a whopping 8:45 am. By the time lunch rolled around at noon, it felt like 8 pm. But as crazy as it sounds, I really wouldn’t have it any other way (well, actually, if we could stretch the wake up time to 7 am rather than 6 am…).
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Happy 9th birthday to the one and only Ri!

Happy Birthday Ri! I am so happy you came into my world nine years ago. Those first few months with you were a bit frightening for dad and me. You’d cry at the 4 pm witching hour and we could not console you. Dad would sling you like a sloth over his forearm and rock you back and forth while we looked dejected at one another not knowing what to do to calm you down. I’d throw you in the snuggli and walk miles around Grandview watching you as you slept with your baby face on my chest. Nights were ridiculous with you – I really thought either dad or I would go insane before you hit age one. We had to get up every two hours with you to feed you and rock you and whisper lullabies to you. Then we’d lay you gently in your crib only to hear you cry within what felt like three seconds. But you know what I take away from those episodes now that they are long gone and dad and I are sane again? That you just wanted to be near your family every moment you could. Because that is the person you are today. If you have your chance to hang out with friends or see your family, there would be no question what you chose: family. You have always loved weddings and family reunions and birthday parties. You have your mom’s goofy, crazy style and always make our cousins laugh. When we have family get-togethers, you always think of games and gifts that we can play and give away to family. You You are the most generous and thoughtful little girl.
When we went to Claire’s to get your ears pierced, you saw a friend in the store. She really wanted a stuffed animal but her mom said no. You begged me to buy it for her and told me you’d pay me back. When there’s only one cookie left and you and Mario need to decide who gets it, you always give it up to him. And you are always ready to help your mom out when she needs it. As I’ve told you a thousand times in the past, I swear you were my mother in a different life. You have got more mom genes in you than me and all the grandmas combined. When Mario is up to no good, you are the first one to yell “Mario Joseph Ionno, get over here!” When I complain about my leg hurting, you are the first one to say “if you didn’t run on it and let it rest, it wouldn’t hurt so badly!” When I cried at Grandma’s funeral, you were there with tissues in hand. You have an innate sense of compassion and empathy for people that will be a great compliment to your life. Those values will guide you as you meet new friends, go to college, and establish a career, and that brings me joy.
You also have an adventurous spirit. You love a thrill, be it rock climbing or parasailing. I have a feeling that spirit will only get stronger as you grow up and I will see you jumping off a cliff into blue waters like Anna Quindlen saw her daughter when she was a teen. And like Anna Quindlen, I am in awe of the girl you have become. You make me strive to love more, be more present, breathe in the days, and parasail 500 feet above the ocean. I would have never done that without you, my love! This mother/daughter connection is quite a force and I am overjoyed that you are the one I am connected to for the rest of my days. You are a gem on this Earth and I adore you. Happy 9th birthday, punk-wunk!
Love you,
Mom
Girls lunch out
Ri wanted to take some girls out to lunch for her birthday this week and the only day we could do it was today. I thought rather than spending $100 on Panera (which is seriously what it would have cost between smoothies and meals and desserts), I’d buy a pizza and take them back to the house.
What a hoot it was to watch them. They are a more calm goofy than Mario and his buddies. One thing that both cracked me up and scared me too death was this scene:

These are Jon’s old beer cans he has collected since he was in his 20’s, and they found it hilarious to act like they were drinking out of them. I have a feeling I may get a photo just like this one when they are home from college and having a summer reunion.
I loved that they devoured the entire large pizza and them devoured the candy and cookie jars while we sang happy birthday to Ri. They have no issues with taking down some grub and I hope it stays that way.
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They still enjoy playing with barbies, and we’re laughing about how messy Ri’s room was – I told Ri it’s pretty telling when her friends say her room is messy! Still didn’t faze her a bit though. We topped off the lunch with candy and leis, modeling, and lots of laughter and singing in the car on the way back to school.
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Got ’em back to school a few minutes late but I have a feeling that they will be able to schmooze their teacher and avoid trouble….>
Six year old boys … Will be … Dorks

Boys are strange, goofy, little creatures. How is it that I thought I would do better with a boy than with a girl? I remember being pregnant with Ri and swearing she was a boy. How could I, the consummate tomboy, ever have a daughter? Then I found out I was pregnant with a girl and was terrified for months. But then something magical happened when she was born – I became a mother to a girl. When she started 1st grade, I remembered starting first grade and all of the crap that girls – even at that age – put each other through. I could sympathize when she came home crying because girls were ignoring her. I could reassure her that she is a strong, smart girl and that no one should make her feel differently. And I could carry a passion in my voice because I’ve been there and I’ve survived.
But then there’s Mario. When I got pregnant again, Ri was almost two. I was digging having a girl, and I had trepidation about having a boy. When Jon and I went to the doctor’s office to find out the sex, and the doctor announced “you’re having a boy!”, I remember the stress I felt. “How would I handle a boy after having a girl? How would Ri enjoy a little brother versus a baby sister like I had?” I walked around after we found out the sex worried I may not love him as much as I loved Ri.
Ahh, but then he popped into this world (quite literally) and my heart melted. He cried and ate and slept just like Ri (lots of eating and crying; not much sleeping). He learned to crawl and walk like Ri. He mumbled the words “mama” and “daddy” just like Ri. He went to daycare and preschool and learned about numbers and characters just like Ri.
But then he went to kindergarten. Just like Ri…at first. But progressively, not so much like Ri. While she came home and dutifully did homework and talked about her day, he wiggled around in his chair and wanted to forego talking in order to wrestle. Ri would never bring home any grade less than a three (out of four) but Mario brought home some twos (and laughed about them). Where Ri cried her eyes out the day a note was sent home from the teacher that informed us she had talked when she wasn’t supposed, Mario tried to hide a similar note and then tried to justify why the teacher was wrong and he was right.
Yep, it’s a whole new ball game dealing with a boy. I can still hang with him when it comes to wrestling or playing football or tossing the frisbee, but when it comes to these goofy boy antics, I am lost. I took him and his friend to lunch, and all they did was punch each other, talk in weird voices, and wrestle on the ground. What do you do with that?!
We will need to set limits on appropriate behavior with him – like when we went to the doctor’s office today and he gave inappropriate answers to her questions or didn’t answer at all – that’s just not gonna fly. But his overall day-to-day goofiness and dorkiness is here to stay, I believe. Therefore, I better take a deep breath and embrace the dork in me and try to appreciate him for all his boy goofiness. After all, I know I will miss it when he’s 19 and too cool for school.
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Boys will be … Nutty

Maria begged me to take her to lunch this week. I asked her if she wanted a friend to come along. On Sunday night, she was adamant that it should just be me and her and Mario. By Monday night, she had decided that she wanted a friend to go and no Mario. Mario had already heard that I was planning a lunch outing, however, so he rightfully demanded to be able to go too and bring a friend. It’s such a lesson in girl and boy behavior to take these kids out to lunch. Maria and her friend giggle and talk quietly. They order their lunch (which by the way is $29 at fricken’ Panera between two bowls of soup, two smoothies and two desserts – outrageous!) and sit at the outside table politely.
Then there are the boys. They throw things at the girls during the car ride to Panera. They tackle each other on the grass as we walk from the car to Panera. They refuse to tell me anything they will eat at Panera besides chocolate cookies. And they try to embarrass the girls. My god. I thankfully managed one good photo of the girls before the boys photo bombed with bunny ears above Ri’s head.
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I took the boys to Stauf’s and all they wanted to do was play fight. I tried to get them to eat a bagel but after a bite they would go back to chasing each other. Now, I could have put on my disciplinarian hat and forced the boys to sit and eat…ha. That’ll be the day. I don’t have it in me. So I tried to interest them with questions.
“If you could be a super hero who would you be?”
“Superman so I could punch someone in the face!”
Hysterical laughter.
Not exactly the thinking I wanted to generate.
“If you were an animal, what would you be?”
“A tiger so I could scratch you.”
Belly laughter.
I stopped the questions and went back to letting them wrestle.
I heard a “mom” shout up the street and saw two of my own gender walking down the street sipping on smoothies.
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Ahhh, kids I understand. As I snapped their picture, Mario and his friend blew past me calling each other “Dumb” and “Stupid” and poking one another. My girlfriend with all daughters tells me I should love the fact that my son is not at all into the drama of who likes who and petty name calling and spats, which is all she deals with in her three girls.
I’m not convinced.
But at least he counterbalances his rowdiness with kisses and snuggling in the evening. Yet, that’s when Ri starts to get her ‘tude going on. Ahh, sweet parenthood.>
SPRING!

THANK YOU SPRING FOR FINALLY COMING!
Now will you stay? We were all going a little nutty the last month, especially Mom who wanted the kids outdoors but couldn’t throw them out in rainy 40 degree weather or snowstorms. But today, oh gorgeous sun and blue skies and mild weather. We couldn’t handle more than ten minutes indoors. Bike rides, the woods, yard work, trampoline – anything to soak up the rays.
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Even Rocco seemed in a better mood.
But alas, the school and work week must come and night must fall. We gathered in the babes to finish homework. I was busy helping Mario with his timeline when I called into Ri to see if she wanted corn or peas for dinner. No answer. I peaked in the family room and saw this:
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Ahh, Spring, another aspect I love about you. Kids asleep from exhaustion at 6:45 pm. >
Cake Walk 2014
Cake Walk 2014 kicked my butt. I don’t know if it was the opening and closing of the festivities or the loud band music and even louder kids, or the chocolate cake we devoured once home.
Maria went with her friend, Kathryn since she had a play date with her after school. This year she continued to step one foot closer to teenage-hood. She came to see Mario and me only a few times and it was only to ask for money and water. She hung out with one group of girls for a minute and then others the next. I likes seeing that.

Then she found our next door neighbor who is Grandview’s baton twirler and stood with her to try to learn how to twirl. She must have stood up there for 30 minutes.
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Meanwhile, I should have left at 8:30 to head up to the event with Mario because he would have never known what time it started. I gotta take advantage of his youth while I am able. And all he wanted to do was play the kids games and all I wanted to do was try to win a cake. Guess who won?
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He played the golf game again and again. Then he moved onto the football game where the volunteer was absent. All the kindergarten boys were loving the freedom of that. Soon a volunteer showed up so we moved to the lollipop game. Such anxiety each time he pulled a sucker out to see if it had a blue tip or not. He moved to the treasure chest and scored these dandies.
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Then we hit the baseball pitch. He was allowed to stand on the line closest to the catcher but refused. He wanted to stand where the older kids had to stand. And don’t you know he got a strike on his first pitch.
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Ri kept trying to win a cake but to no avail. I finally got Mario to head down with me and try to win. After three more hole-in-one attempts, he finally followed.
There was Ri standing in line with Kathryn and Evie. She smiled when she saw me and waved (at least I still get that). Mario and I went to another line and danced to the music as the band played. The music stopped, we sat in our chairs and hoped. Unfortunately, our numbers weren’t called. Mario got livid last year when this happened but this year he brushed it off. We stayed for the band’s last tune and although we didn’t win a cake, we bought a sweet blue one in the form if a mustache that Kathryn and her mom had made. And we dug in at 10 pm when we finally got home.
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Hamsters, pups, oh my…

I could offer Maria and Mario a round trip vacation to the Bahamas, a trip to Disney, or a new bike, and they’d still pick a trip to Petland over all of them. They have loved that store since they were toddlers. They find so much joy when they walk in the door between the dwarf hamsters (Mario’s favorite), the pups (Ri’s favorite), kittens, bunnies, and gerbils. We made a trip up there on Sunday morning because we had to buy party supplies for Sarah’s shower at Party City, which is right next door. Ri has a future in party planning, for sure. She worked on invites at the house and when we got to Party City she immediately moved to the decorations aisle to coordinate themes. We would have spent $500 on decor if she had her way. She couldn’t stop herself: “this is adorable; we need these steamers; these games are a must….” Meanwhile, Mario found himself some killer gold glasses. He wanted gold glitter to spray in his hair but I refused.
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A piece of bubble gum made up for the glitter. We delivered our bundle of party goods to the car and headed into Petland. Ri darted for the pups and Mario rushed to the dwarf hamsters. He yelled for me to come over to him “mom, there are six of them and they are sooo cute!” He could stand there all day and pick them up, put them in their wheel, pick them up again, put them in their wheel again….I was tempted to buy one but realized I was reliving my childhood and my love for hamsters (supposedly I was allergic and therefore had to give away my hamster after days of nurturing it, and yes, there were years of counseling over that). But now that I’m the one that would have to clean the cage, I don’t have as much of a desire for one. I told Mario he already had fish to love. His response: “As soon as my fish die, I want this hamster.”
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Those fish of his need to watch out. Ri found herself a little chow puppy and loved on it. However, when I commented on how cute it was, she promptly replied “not half as cute as our Rocco.” She is loyal to the bone.
She and Mario had a blast with the pups. One little sprite fella wouldn’t stop biting Mario’s shoelaces and jeans. Mario loved it and purposely darted all over the space to play with it. He was belly laughing so hard I thought he’d hyper-ventilate.
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It’s great to know that we can find so much happiness in such a tangible trip. And one day, when fish have traveled to another place, we may have a hamster in the house.>
















