Distance really does make the heart grow fonder

June 3, 20122 Comments

Maria Grace stayed with Jon’s mom this entire week. We went up for Memorial Day on Monday and she just returned today. I swear she looks two years older. She got four inches cut off of her hair during her stay with Grandma. She greeted me with a huge hug and smile but when I asked her how her time was with Grandma and Alana, she responded “it was fine but I don’t want to talk about it.” Huh?! I asked her if something went wrong and she looked at me puzzled. “No, mom, I just don’t feel like talking about it.”

Ok. I am not ready for this response when just two weeks ago she would have went on and on about her time with Alana and her adventures with Grandma. Well, maybe I exaggerate a bit – she has never been that talkative about her days; but she used to at least summarize them for me! I let it go in order to just enjoy the moment with her – soak up her smile and her laugh. Mario yelled “Ria” when he saw her and gave her a huge hug that lasted 30 seconds. He had been asking when she’d be home for the last three days.

One of the first tasks that Maria set out to do when she walked in the house was write a letter to Ann Curry. Yes, the Today Show’s Ann Curry. Jon and I default to NBC News in the morning, and Maria enjoys watching it, too. She loves Ann Curry; she thinks she’s smart and stylish. Her letter told her as much and she also added a sentence stating that Ann Curry helps her learn more about the world. Precious. I had Maria write Ann Curry’s name and address on the front of the envelope with the hopes that it does not get pitched since it is clearly from a kid. We will keep our fingers crossed…!

Meanwhile, Mario and I wrestled. He made me grab his leg each time he started to turn the DVD dial and then after I grabbed it, he shocked me with the electric waves coming out of his fingers. I had to play dead for five seconds and then come back alive to do it all over again. He could have played that game with me for two hours but I could only handle about 15 minutes. I had to play a game of HeadBandz in order to get him off the wrestling kick, and then find his Spiderman costume for him to wear.

I got a massage in the mid-afternoon, which was a piece of heaven for an hour. Is there anything better than a scalp massage at 3 pm? And I could hire someone to rub my feet all day long and think it was money well spent. I lifted myself off the massage table afterwards, and had deep creases along my face and legs – a sign of a good massage. Jon decided to cook lemon chicken for dinner so we spent an hour preparing the chicken and the sides while the kids played on the computer and drew. It was a very strange yet wonderful experience for us. Strange to smell sweet aromas throughout the kitchen and wonderful to cook our own meal (the joke is that we have only used our pots and pans a handful of times since we were married in 2002).

The kids even liked it! And Maggie, hung over and all, enjoyed it, too. After dinner, we rode our bikes up to the mailbox to deliver Ann Curry’s letter (and a b-day card to Grandma Lolo) and chow on some Orange Leaf. Mario gave up on his bike at Stauf’s so I carried him the rest of the way (I am a sucker!). Jon played on his new scooter for a bit; Maggie texted her friends and engaged in time trials with the kids; and I cleaned up. A good ending to a long day. I am excited to have Maria back with us even if she doesn’t want to divulge her week to me. As long as I still get those hugs, I am ok.

Being conscious of treasures

June 1, 2012June 1, 2012Leave a comment

We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures. ~Thornton Wilder

I am making a conscious effort each day to step back at certain moments in time, be it with the kids or work colleagues or Jon or by myself, and appreciate the moment for what it offers to me. These small retreats build up, and by the time evening rolls in and I am putting on my pjs alongside Maria and Mario, I generally feel grateful for what life has offered me through the day (there are those rare evenings where even a day full of wonderful moments can be demolished by a child going through a temper tantrum).

There are tons of books and magazines and blog sites touting the benefits of gratitude but it’s not until you actually make that conscious effort of practicing it that it hits home. I feel more serene when I go to sleep, more hopeful during my day, more positive in my outlook. Overall, I guess I would say I am more “happy” – whatever that looks like. I simply feel more alive and more connected.

Today, I got to take a run in the morning for the first time in two weeks. Jon stayed with Mario while I ran through the neighborhood and lifted weights at the gym. Listening to NPR for 45 minutes was the best gift I could receive from Jon. On my run home, as I listened to Michael Jackson’s Beat It and looked at the gardens lining our street, I had one of those step-back moments. I felt an intense swelling of gratitude for Jon, and his selflessness in letting me get up in the mornings to do the thing I love to do. I also felt grateful for my legs – yeah, my legs! For allowing me to be able to run the distance I am able to run and let my mind drift as I listen to stories and news on NPR. It is such a treasure for me.

Later in the day, when I came home from work to find Mario and Jon already back from school, I felt that surge of gratitude rise again. Mario popped out of the family room with a whopping smile on his face telling me to close my eyes. When I opened, he had his home-made graduation cap on his head and the same smile across his face.

“I graduated today, mom!”

Some in his class graduated to Kindergarten today but they let all of the kids make caps (always politically correct). He was so proud of his creation. We took a bike ride later to get his haircut, and while on the bike, he asked me to sing to him. I sang him a rhyming song about how much I loved my boy cuz he was just like a toy, and his toes tasted like soy… (yeah, I know, pretty lame except to a four-year old), and he turned around laughing at me. It was the sweetest moment. I replay it in my head as I sit here tonight, and it still makes me smile as I think about it. When we got to the salon, he made me move away from him while the gal cut his hair because he wanted to be alone with her. He wanted to tell her how he wanted his hair. I sat in the seat up front the entire time without him ever calling out for me. When she finished, he got out of his chair, and walked over to me.

“What do you think, mom?”

“You look awesome, dude.”

He walked over to the mirror and put his hand through his hair, and nodded his head up and down. He knew he looked good. Man, I am grateful for that nut.

When we got home, Jon told me that he called Maria at Grandma Ionno’s house. Patty told him how Maria kept her and Joe laughing throughout the day with her quips. She was telling a story to Patty and Joe and Joe closed his eyes. She looked at Patty and said “I guess the story was a little long – no wonder Grandpa fell asleep!” That girl has got a personality to last a lifetime, and I am grateful beyond words to have her in my life (and I miss her like mad – get home, pumpkin girl!).

I am thankful for this consciousness of treasures I continue to sharpen in my daily life. Now, off to a good-night’s sleep.

The life of a pinball

May 26, 2012Leave a comment

Mario and I met up with Maria and her friend and friend’s mom at 9:30 am at Stauf’s. The rest of the day is a blur. Thank god for iced coffees.

We walked down to the parade on First Avenue – the same place we go every year – nearly parallel to our old house but two streets over. We sat with Amy and Gracie and Joe and made a sign saying “Go Mets” in honor of Zach. Zach is on the Mets baseball team this year; Amy was so excited to see him in the baseball truck with the other soon-to-be second graders. All I could do was think of Mario in that truck three years from now, and the only visions of him were ones of him pelting people with tootsie rolls. There is always one or two little squirts that engage in such activity each year; last year, Mario got pelted in the eye by someone. So hopefully that horrific experience forever scarred him and he won’t engage in such behavior.

The parade was fun this year because we knew so many kids in it (and they limited the politicians)! After an hour parade, we gathered our two hefty bags of candy and walked a mile back home. Maria walked the entire way with me holding Mario. She is a machine (she did it in sandals; even I would have complained). We made a pit stop at the library to take a computer break. Maria played Go Girls Games and Mario played Ben Ten. I got a little reading time in, which was just the break I needed. Middle-school kids were signing up younger kids for the reading program. Maria asked to sign up. I was excited about her initiative. She asked to do it last year, too, but she could not read on her own and she wasn’t that into it. I am hoping that her ability to read better will lead to her reading more this Summer. She picked out a Junie B. Jones book and a couple more random ones. Let’s cross our fingers….

We plodded our way home from the library in the 88 degree heat. We immediately threw on our bathing suits, grabbed our goggles and towels, and jumped in the car. We had to drop the stroller off at the bike store because Mario and I bust a tire on our stroller ride earlier that morning (there was a loud firecracker-like bang and Mario yelled “Cool!”). Once at the bike store, Mario spotted a sweet red and black bike with training wheels. He jumped on it and flew around the store. I looked at the tag and it was expensive. How can a kid’s bike be over $100? Really? But I have had such bad luck with used bikes for him – none of them are steady or ride well – and it has caused him to get scared about riding. I do not want that with as much as Maria likes riding. So, I decided to bite the bullet and get it reasoning that he will have it for the next few years.

We left the store for the pool, which was absolutely packed since it was opening day. Mario and Ri went off the low dive and high dive, respectively. Mario tried the high dive but second guessed it after getting on top (I don’t blame him). He will jump off by the end of the Summer, I am sure. We only lasted at the pool for about 45 minutes; I was exhausted and luckily, the kids probably were, too.

Once home, we made bowls of cereal and rested in front of a Ben Ten on tv. Within ten minutes, Maria was snoozing on the couch. I tried to move her but she was solid dead weight – there was nothing waking her up. Mario, meanwhile, was wide awake and insane, jumping all around the room and acting like random aliens. I let him play on my computer while I went out and mowed the grass and watered the flowers. Then I came in and cleaned out the Study a bit in order to move our new desk in it. I was in cleaning mode. You’d think that it may have been wise to put my feet up and nap a bit with Ri, but that would have been too easy. Gotta keep the momentum going – once I sit down, I am useless for the rest of the day.

Maria finally woke up – two hours later – and she was a piece of work. Pissed off at the world. She stomped across the kitchen moping and pouting and crying. I left her alone and she finally buried her head in my chest and rested for a few minutes. Then she finally morphed into the Maria we know and love ready to ride her bike and play. We got Mario off the computer (not an easy task) and headed off on his new bike. He rocked it out on his bike almost keeping up with Maria. We had hoped that the Art Hop would offer a bouncey house or kids’ music but it only offered a couple of vendors selling necklaces. We dealt with our disappointment by going to the church park. I played tag with Mario and Maria climbed up the top of the slides (her favorite thing to do at the park). Amy and Joe met us up at the park with the kids and they all played for a bit. We all looked like zombies. It was comical. The day felt like three days. We finished the night off with Orange Leaf and a bike ride back home.

When we pulled in the driveway, there was a spectacular slice of moon looking down at us. We all stopped and gave reverence. Then, Maria shouted “Mario’s old bike is still at the library!” So, what else to do but jump in the truck and head to the library to pick up his bike. We finally got into the house at 10 pm. Maria wanted to read Junie B. Jones, and Mario was listening to music on my phone so I didn’t fight it. I just let them be and relaxed over a bag of Cheez-Its, and Maria later joined me.

What a whirlwind of a holiday Saturday. I swear to myself as I sit here tonight that tomorrow will be low-key day but I know myself better than that. We will be off and running – but not until 7:30 am.

Time with my little guy

May 26, 2012Leave a comment

Trade your expectation for appreciation and the world changes instantly. Tony Robbins

I woke up with Mario this morning. Maria got to see a late movie and sleep over with a girlfriend. Mario agreed to take a stroller ride with me if I let him get donuts at Tim Hortons. I allowed him to get donuts if he agreed to eat a graham cracker with peanut butter beforehand (I knew if he did that he would not even be hungry for much of a donut and I could eat the rest!).

Much to my amazement, Mario spent the entire stroller ride talking to me and finding all sorts of animals along the way. He spotted birds and squirrels and a rabbit sitting in a yard. Of course, it was a game to him that he had to win. Every time he found an animal, he’d pump his fist in the air and yell “I win!” But it was much better than having him play on the iPad, which is usually what he wants to do. He even talked to me about what he learned at school this week (do you know what anemones do, mom? I do!).

I am so appreciative of this time with my little guy – totally unexpected and wonderful. It started my holiday weekend off on a much-needed good note, and changed how I viewed my tiny little world this morning.

Life doesn’t get much better – donuts, fresh air and sweet chats with my guy. Now, we can’t wait to add Maria to the mix!

Smile and Better the World

May 25, 2012Leave a comment

What a coincidence to find an article that details the benefits of smiling at people after Maria and Mario both exhibited such behavior on our bike ride tonight. An older couple approached us as we rode down the street. I told Maria to watch out for them and as they walked past her, I heard her say “hi” to them. They smiled at her and continued towards us. When they walked by us, Mario waved and said “hi”, also. They smiled again and said “good evening” to us both. As they walked away from us, I heard the woman remark “Nice kids.”

Ahh, “nice kids.” Good to hear every once in a while…. When we stopped at the light, Maria turned around and told me how she smiled and waved at the couple that walked by her. I commended her for being so polite and sweet. Of course, Mario needed to chime in right away and inform me that he said hi to the couple, too. He added “they smiled back at me, too, mom.”

I appreciate this study. I know that I always feel better when I give a stranger a smile as I pass them – even if they don’t return the smile back. And when a stranger gives me a smile first, it usually makes me smile at the next person I see. Domino effect. It steps up my mood elevator and makes me take a step back and contemplate whether the issue I may be stewing over or anxious about is really worth it. I explain the article I read to Maria and Mario, and they both look at me and smile. The kind of smile that reminds me of some ancient buddha’s smile – a smile appreciating that I finally found some nugget of truth and good that they have known for a long time.

Missing Dad

May 24, 2012May 26, 2012Leave a comment

Maria will be such a happy camper when her dad returns. She has been missing him like crazy and as each day gets closer to when he returns, she gets more and more melancholy about him being away. She saw a plane in the sky yesterday, and sighed “that makes me think of Daddy.”

It’s no wonder she misses him – the two of them are carbon copies of each other. They both see everything and never miss a beat. Whereas Mario and I could trip right over a $20 bill on the ground, Maria and Jon could spot it behind a row of bushes. Maria can make me laugh with her one-liners just as hard as Jon makes me laugh. Maria and Jon can dish it out to each other for minutes on end without breaking a smile, and then, when neither of them have broken, they both smile at each other at the same time so as not to let the other one “win.” Maria can’t stand to have you reach over and grab food from her plate just like Jon (although he does cut an exception out for me unlike Maria). Maria can get you to believe a made-up story she tells almost as often as Jon can (he still gets me fifteen years later). Maria hates the heat and would rather sit in the AC all day just like her pops. Maria has that shrewd business sense that Jon has: the other night we were eating dinner together and Jon was complaining about work problems. Maria looked over at him and counseled “You should definitely fire people.” She is going to be ten times tougher than Jon, actually….

So, when she finally fell asleep tonight after rubbing her back for 15 minutes and listening to her whimper about missing daddy, I emptied her book bag to get it ready for tomorrow. When I reached in her folder to see if she brought any paperwork home, I found a white envelope with the word “Dad” written on it. A little red heart was drawn beside it.

Melt my heart.

It was sealed shut so I decided I would not rip it open to see what it says. But I am quite sure that it will bring tears to Jon’s eyes when he reads it because I know he loves that baby girl more than anything. Or maybe she is acting just like him and playing a trick on him like he plays on all of us family members and there is nothing inside of it… I think that would bring even more proud tears to his eyes.

Wrinkles and Moles

May 24, 2012Leave a comment

I made the wise move to not volunteer to be in charge of Maria’s end if the year party this year. I figure it will be an every other year project for me.

The mom in charge of the party sent out an email to the parents about donating for a gift for the teacher. I asked Maria what she looked like so I could give her money when I dropped off Maria at school. Maria’s response:

“She’s got a clean face.”
“What’s that mean,” I asked.
“She doesn’t have wrinkles or a mole on her face like you do. Oh, and she always wears high heels with her work outfit.”

Of course. Yet another mom who ranks high for not wearing gym shoes with her work outfit. I’m used to that dis but do you really need to point out my wrinkles and mole, little lady…! I will have you know my mole has been compared to Cindy Crawford’s mole.

You ask, “Who is she?”

Never mind.

Open House

May 21, 2012May 21, 20121 Comment

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Maria hosted Granmda Ionno, Mario and me at her Open House at school. She had a clipboard with a checklist of everything she had to show us before the night was over. We got to listen to other Fairy Tale about a big bad dog and a cat, watch her slide show on the blue morpho butterfly and learn a lot of desert facts. She has accomplished a lot this year, and has especially excelled in her reading. I can’t believe how well she is reading compared to the beginning of the year.

She is a very good student and listens to her teacher. She rarely ever gets in trouble, and when she does she feels horrible. I think she is one heck of a student. While Maria was showing us her shoebox 3-D project (the blue morpho butterfly one that I helped with) she detailed how a girl in her class made fun of it. She seemed really hurt by the girl’s comments, and for one minute, I felt like approaching the girl and giving her a piece of my mind. I asked Maria if she told the girl how it made her feel and she told me she just walked away from her. Maybe a better move in this instance since I can tell the girl is a piece of work. The mama bear comes out in me when I am told of those situations.

Grandma Ionno tried to get up a few times to check on Grandpa but Maria begged her to stay and listen to her reading or watch her slide show. She loves having family there to watch her. After the event, we went to Panera for dinner. Mario talked about inappropriate things and Maria talked about how it seems “like only yesterday that Mario’s hair was really thin.” God love her – she cracks me up with her 60-year-old quips, and god love him, he is just insane. When we came home tonight, she set all of her paperwork aside from school in order to show Jon when he returns home from out-of-town. She was so heartbroken when she learned that Jon would not be able to attend her event but he made it up to her by promising her a double chocolate frozen drink at Starbuck’s. He knows how to make up for his absence.

Is it really only 10:30 am?

May 20, 2012Leave a comment

The kids and I went to Cincinnati last night for a family wedding. Grandma Meg and Peepaw joined us for the festivities along with Meg’s sisters and their kids. Meg’s sister, Mindy and her husband Danny hosted the gala for their daughter Amy. Amy is a down-to-earth, sporty, happy gal who seems utterly smitten with her new husband, Todd. Todd seems like a carbon copy of Amy (minus the “gal” and add “guy!”). They smiled throughout the wedding ceremony and had a blast at the reception (Todd did a dirty dance in front of Amy before taking off the garter and Mario and Maria were completely entranced).

Mario played around with four or five boys who all knew each other from Todd’s side of the family. They did not invite him in but Mr. Mario asked his Aunt Kathy if she would introduce him to the boys, which she did, and it was over from there. He fit right in when he wanted to play with them (the only bit of crying came when he collided with an 80 pound kid and got knocked into the side of the door). Maria was perfectly happy not conversing with any kids, but rather, hanging out with the adults. She sat with Meg’s cousin, Suzanne and her husband. She enjoyed ribbing Suzanne’s husband about anything she could, and sitting close to Suzanne to talk about video games. After Suzanne, she moved onto Kathy’s stepson, Miles and his fiancée, dragging Miles on the dance floor and out to the pond. They were all wonderful with her, and very patient.

After the wedding, we headed to my mom’s house to spend the night. We petted Lou for a while since we had never been with him in his house. He loved the kids. We woke up at the break of dawn (6:45 am) and played with Lou and his tennis ball for an hour before getting ready to hit the road. We had to go to Target first since Mario’s flip flops rubbed his feet wrong. Next came McDonald’s for some quick breakfast. Then, French Park.

My old childhood park that I used to frequent with my best friend, Beth. I love walking through that park. My mom was quite impressed with it, too (as was Lou). The trails are magnificent – patches of shade with huge fairy tale trees covering you, patches of bright sunlight with wildflowers, and patches of dark with troll bridges and ferns everywhere. We walked the creek for a long time, too. It had just enough walks to jump from to not get soaked but high enough standing water for the kids to get good splashes. At the end of the trail, Maria took a good fall trying to climb onto a boulder and got a good chunk of skin off of her elbow and knee. Nonetheless, as I always report, she is a machine and once the initial shock and cry hit, she was a trooper heading back to the car and into Grandma’s bathtub.

On the way home, neither mom nor I was coherent. We were exhausted from what felt like a “long day.” So how was it only 10:30 am? Ridiculous. There should be some rule that when kids get up so early and your day starts while most people are in REM sleep, you get to fast forward the clock 4 hours. When we got home, the kids took and bath and played around. Then we had to head up to Marx Bagels for some bagels and cream cheese (my favorite!).

After bagels, we hung outside with Lou while the kids “spied” on us. Julie got home in the meantime, and the kids begged to stay to see Baby Gracie. She arrived a bit later and walked in the door exclaiming “Mary!” How could I leave before hearing that punker-wunker call my name!? The kids played downstairs while I cleaned and talked to Liz and Julie and helped Julie move coffee tables and tvs all around. We left CIncy around 3:30 and within ten minutes, both Maria and Mario were sawing logs. Out cold. So I debated stopping at Pottery Barn outlet at Washington Courthouse but I could not resist. When I stopped the car, and wiggled their legs to get up, they both bellowed “No!” They cried and hit the seats with their feet. They were pissed (now they get a taste of their medicine when they wake me up everyday at 6:30 am)! We finally made it into Pottery Barn (Mario on my right hip and Maria dragging beside me) only to find no good selection of rugs. Ugh!

So, I treated them to McDonald’s Playland. The Washington CH Playland just got renovated and it is actually quite nice. Mario, again, made friends immediately with two other boys who were brothers. Maria decided to stay by her mom because her side hurt from her fall. After letting Mario play for a half hour we took off for Columbus. Maria begged me from the back seat to let her give Mario the horn I bought him. I bought it for him a week ago and told him if was good all week, he would get it. Maria convinced me he had been good since he did not scream in the middle of the wedding, and he said “thank you” when Grandma Lolo gave him food. Pretty high standards, heh?!

As soon as we stepped in the door, Maria grabbed the horn and gave it to Mario. The whole neighborhood knew about the present because he honked it incessantly for ten minutes straight. We hooked it on his bike (with training wheels) and took a two-mile bike ride to our old house and back. When we got home, the kids rested to a tv show while I mowed the grass (which looked like the grasslands). When I finished the lawn, Maria and I played baseball. Mario watched his last Ben Ten. We wrapped the night up with mac-n-cheese and chicken and two books about telling the truth and a pig going to camp. Does it get any better than that?

When I headed outside to take out the lawn clippings, my neighbor commented about how she couldn’t believe that I could mow the grass and water the lawn in such a speedy time. I told her about our entire day and she laughed hysterically. “Do you ever stop,” I believe she asked, but I was already at the top of the driveway grabbing the last lawn bag to put out front.

The dreaded art project

May 15, 2012Leave a comment

God help me. It has finally happened. I dreaded the day. I had thought we may have escaped it since we are so close to the end of the year…. The do-it-at home art project.

Jon and I are both left-brained people. Logical, rational, linear. Where are my right-brained sister and brother when I most need them? Ok, so I exaggerate a tad bit seeing the project was simply to make a morpho butterfly from the rain forest in 3D. Doesn’t sound too hard. Right?

We bought clay last weekend, and that ended up going nowhere fast. We got the clay a bit wet to mold it better (my left-brained self followed the instructions to a tee) but then the clay stuck to the plate and then to our hands and then to the knife as we cut through it. Maria was in tears within five minutes and I was ready to throw the clay at the wall if only it would have peeled off my hands. We also thought about cutting out the morpho butterfly on construction paper and stuffing both pieces of paper with tissue paper. I think that idea may have been our smartest but Jon thought we should use big sheets of paper at his office and nobody wanted to make the commute up there so we ditched the idea completely.

We landed on colored molding clay which was a lot easier to mold than the grey modeling clay. Ri and I worked on two wings for the butterfly after reviewing internet pictures. I thought for sure that Ri would freak at the wings that I (we) made for the creature but I think she was too tired to complain at that point. We were out of pipe cleaners for the antennae so we used Q tips (cut off the ends) instead (they don’t have that cute twist but whatever…). Next, Maria had a great idea for the shoebox that would be the butterfly’s home. She drew trees and put real leaves on them and then stood a paper tree up in the front of the box so the butterfly could perch in it. After a bit of drama about getting the butterfly to stick on the tree (she takes pride in using scotch tape everywhere) , she had our creation and, most importantly, she was happy with it.

Jon and I were, too. After all, it is quite a piece of work for a lawyer and a business executive.

"MOM!"

Adventures in the Life of a Working Mama

Category: Parenting