Odd years

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“2016 bit the big one so 2017 has to be better.”

I recited this mantra incessantly towards the end of 2016 and the beginning days of 2017. It gave me some hope with the impending new year that all it would take was a flip of the calendar page and *TA-DA,* everything is better. I even subjected Ri to the mantra when she cried to me about her uneventful New Year’s Eve (while viewing all of her friends partying on Snapchat). New Year’s Eve occurred in 2016 so it’s gonna be wrapped up in the horrible mess of a year. 

But here we are, two weeks into the new year, and I haven’t found any revived spirit or amazing promise. Did I flip the calendar page too quickly or with not enough force to clearly show 2016 we wanted it out?

Last week, the kids agreed, without any fighting, to walk to Stauf’s with me for lunch. I asked, and they agreed. No pleading, begging, bribing. It wasan exquisite moment. We braced the 2o degree weather and walked up to the coffee shop with playing cards in tow. We even lucked out and got our favorite bar table and stools. Ri talked about becoming a pediatrician while Mario talked about packing it up and heading to Hollywood or Miami. The conversation was delightful. 

So there, 2016, take that! 


I am an impatient person; I want to see immediate change, feel immediately more hopeful, witness immediate kindness in the world. 2017 has been my wake-up call. It ain’t gonna happen. 

Slow and steady may need to be my new mantra. The world ain’t gonna be fixed (or destroyed, hopefully) overnight. I just gotta keep plugging away at being there for my crew – the kids, family, friends – and taking on causes and acts of kindness as time allows.  

My girlfriend told me the other day that odd years end up being better for her than even years. Interesting – I never looked at years in that fashion. But as I thought about it, I was born in an odd year as was Jon, Ri and Mario. We moved into our new home in an odd year. We got Rocco in an odd year. So there you go. 2017 is gonna be better than 2016 if only because it’s an odd year… I will take that immediate assumption and run with it.

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I engaged in the annual hmmming and hawing over what to get the kids this year. I torture myself by overthinking what they may want, what they do want, what they should get in order not to spoil them, what they should get to spoil them….

I long for the days they were babies and toddlers. It was so simple! I could get ten $1 toys, wrap them, and we’d be set Christmas morning. This year was especially strange because they really didn’t “want” for anything.  Realistically, they should never “want” for anything since they have all of life’s necessities at their disposal and much more; but alas, they are kids bombarded by advertisements friends with cool gadgets.  Maria had been begging for an iPhone 7 for her birthday but she cooled her heels about one for Christmas.  I think I assisted her in this change of heart by talking about how I believed experiences were more special than “things.”  I asked her what she remembered more – her new iphone she received two holidays ago or her trip to Oaxaca.  Oaxaca without a doubt.  

Mario was even perplexed about what he wanted – at first it was an Apple computer, then any type of computer, then a pug puppy, then any type of puppy.  At one point, Maria talked with him about the experiences bit and almost had him convinced to just wish for them and not ask for any “things.” But Mario couldn’t quite get there at age 9; he still wanted to open gifts on Christmas.

And there lies the dilemma  – as a parent, do you put your foot down and re-purpose Christmas to the holiday it should be: a holiday about giving to others and appreciating family, and sacrifices made, and peace, and love, and goodwill?  Or do you give “things” that the kids can madly unwrap on Christmas morning? Tradition gets the best of me and I inevitably err on the side of “things”.  However, this year I did not go as overboard as years’ past and tried to mix the things with some experiences.  Oaxaca will be a destination for us in 2017 as well as DC.  I also want to take some good camping trips.

We asked Santa to stick with a room décor theme for Ri this year.  She got a new desk and hutch, dresser and nightstand as well as some pictures and framed quotes.  Mario got a new Dell computer in order to vlog and listen to his jams.  He also got some Cowboys attire since that is his new favorite team thanks to Ezekiel Elliott).  I ended up getting him a dresser, too, since I found one for cheap on line, and he has never had one before. Yeah, not kidding.  He has just used the three tiny drawers in his steps going up to his bed. Of course, I ordered all the kids’ furniture on line so Jon and I get to assemble it ourselves.  We worked on the dresser the day after Christmas and 3 hours later, we were still slaving over it.  I was ready to ship the assembly off to a contractor but was not ready to pay $150 so we kept working. We finally finished 2 hours later, and now we can walk in Mario’s room and admire our work….

Maria’s desk and hutch was a bit easier to assemble, thank god.  I actually assembled the hutch all by myself; I screwed all the parts in backwards and had to dis-assemble it all and start over, but I finally got it.  It does feel good to know that you built something from scratch (especially when you are typically inept at such creations).  And I now know what a cam screw is!


We enjoyed Susie’s house for Christmas Eve.  Patty drove down with us this year and we first stopped at my mom’s to exchange gifts.  Patty got to admire her new home, and my mom got to ask Patty about her potential new home in Marietta.  My mom enjoys the company.  The kids loved on Lou and took a few trips down the stairs in their comforters before begging to open presents.  They got spoiled beyond belief: Mario got a desk chair and Ri got new boots.  Rocco got a new hedgehog playmate (which he did not destroy within the first ten minutes of playing with it – miracle).


The kids loved playing with Cy and Robert at Susie’s house.  They ran around and around with them playing with nerf guns and wrestling.  The fun had to cease when Cy turned to run away from Mario and rammed his head on the dip in the ceiling.  He got a nice gash.  Jane and Olivia rushed him to Urgent Care and a few staples later he was good as new.  It’s not a Heile party until someone starts bleeding.  The kids also love participating in the White Elephant game.  Mario got a puzzle and was less than impressed.  He had his eyes on a bag that had a Polo watch and a pair of “USA” socks in it because he thought they would be the perfect gifts for his dad.  He was finally able to steal the bag after Aunt Julie helped him out and took his puzzle. Ri scored a Starbucks card.


Ri and Mario loved holding baby Harper. Mario thoroughly enjoyed it for about three minutes and then was ready to move on. Ri would have held her all night.


We all sang Christmas carols with Aunt Susie towards the end of the night – one of the highlights of the evening.  Susie plays the piano while we try our best to keep a tune.

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Mario was the first to get up on Christmas morning at 7 am.  We made him wait until 7:30 to wake Maria up.  We laid in bed trying to prepare for the day ahead. At 7:29, Mario woke up Ri and they both walked into our room commanding us to awaken and head downstairs.  Patty had been up since 6 am, and was showered and ready to head out to church.  Ri distributed the gifts to everyone, and the opening began. Big smiles planted on their faces.  It took about 45 minutes to get through gifts this year, which was pleasantly longer than last year.  I swear we were done opening presents in 10 minutes last year.

The kids were more mature this year in both the approach to opening presents and in the actual opening of the presents.  In years’ past, they would have been up at 6 am and jumping on our bed incessantly until we arose and trekked down the steps with them.  They would have been shaking each present and thinking heavily about which one to open first.    They would have torn through them in seconds unable to soak in appreciation for each gift one at a time.  But this year, they wokr at a reasonable hour. They waited patiently as we got on our sweatshirts and brushed our teeth.  

They still showed enthusiasm, when passing out the gifts under the tree but it was a more measured, calm enthusiasm.  They carefully tore the wrapping paper off their gifts and took their time scanning each present.  And they showed appreciation for each gift (even if it wasn’t something they particularly wanted (i.e., hats and gloves).


So here we are, setting up a computer and a desk  rather than a train set or a Barbie house.  The day was bound to arrive at our doorstep.  But I am going to work hard to celebrate it rather than bemoan it.  True, my babies are growing up and no longer require constant attention, and I miss that greatly. But my babies are growing up and no longer require constant attention, and I must appreciate that as well. 

I just wish we could go back to ten $1 gifts….

A Steampunk Christmas Carol 

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I am still flabbergasted that the kids both performed in a play last week. How did these kids that came from two raging athletes ever acquire acting skills?! 

I still remember the first night we went to audition. Maria had called it quits as soon as she saw an eight-year-old boy bellow out five different tunes perfectly. Mario was right behind her. But then Mario’s friend showed up and sang a quaint little tune – happy birthday – and Mario felt like he could at least crank that song out. He followed his friend and sang “jingle bells”; his bravery allowed for Maria to feel comfortable enough to  stand up and sing “row row row your boat.” 

And with that, we were thrown into the world of acting. A completely foreign world to Jon and me. But the kids looked as if they had performed in plays 10 times over. They went to practice and picked up their lines. They made friends with the other actors. They ingratiated themselves with the director.  
I was surprised that they got roles with speaking parts since this was their first play. They only had about three speaking parts each but hey, that’s something for their first gig. And they were in a good deal of scenes. I loved watching them perform at the community center; I never felt comfortable performing in front of people so it amazed me to watch them perform so effortlessly. 

The last week of practice was intense. They had practice Monday through Thursday from 5:30-9:30, but they didn’t complain a bit. Ri especially enjoyed it. She loved the entire process involved in putting on a show – from setting the stage to putting on make-up to ensuring props were situated correctly, to performing. Mario, on the other hand, seemed to love only one piece – being on stage and getting the crowd to laugh. He hammed it up as much as he could enjoying the smiles and laughter from the crowd. 

I went to the final practice before the dress rehearsal on Thursday night and remember sitting with another parent and thinking “how will this play come together?” The parent next to me had done theatre in her past and reassured me it would come together just fine. And so it did. It came together wonderfully. 
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Meg and dad and Patty and Patrick’s family came on opening night. We bought roses for both kids.  They performed like pros and were so excited after it ended. They couldn’t come down off their acting high!


Saturday night’s performance was the best because the audience was so into it. They laughed and clapped and made it lively. I heard there were former actors with the Theatre Company who were in attendance and got the audience going. Whoever they were, I thank them because it really did liven up the entire show. Mario loved the attention…

My mom and Sarah came to the Sunday matinee. Ri was excited to see Elena but she was also so tired. Both of the kids were exhausted from 6 long nights working on the play. The feel of the last show was one of gratitude and relief that they had made it through to the end. It was much more low-key than Saturday. But they both again did a marvelous job reciting their lines with more power and conviction each day. However, Ri tripped on her costume during the matinee and ended up with a black eye because the ghost mask rammed into her. Poor thing. Nevertheless, in true Maria fashion, she just kept on going despite the obvious pain. 


After the play, we got the pleasure of cleaning up for 3 hours. Ri and Mario pitched in with the other kids and the adults tore down the set and picked up all the props and trash. We were all spent by 7 pm. But the kids had been promised Greater’s so off we went for ice cream. We talked at Greater’s (over brownie sundaes) until close to 9 pm before calling it a night. The kids hugged their fellow actors goodbye. I think they really enjoyed the experience and both want to audition for the next show in Spring. I am just pleased that their eyes got opened to another activity and that they were so capable of embracing it. 

Proud parents.

 

 Thanks giving 

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I love celebrating Thanksgiving. The gratitude and appreciation expressed for one another makes me beam. Everyone lets down whatever guard they may have erected and opens their arms to hugs. I must admit I was a bit concerned this year that my idyllic view of Thanksgiving may be shot to hell due to the recent election of Trump. But alas, it was not. All were polite. It was definitely more quiet than usual for a Heile get together … but Jon appreciated that peace. 

Maria slaved over the favors for the family with me. We thought about what would be best for days before the event and finally landed on mason jars filled with a holiday mix.  We drove to Giant Eagle to try to find mason jars. I told Maria that I did not want to spend a bunch of money on the jars. She was determined to find a deal. We walked down an aisle and Ri exclaimed “here are 12 for $8.99!” I shook my head with approval and we grabbed two cases. As we turned towards the checkout, a woman approached us. She held two coupons for mason jars, and asked if we wanted them.  I was taken aback, as was Maria. What are the chances that somebody with a coupon for mason jars would be walking by us right when we are heading to the checkout? Life is crazy strange and full of surprises. And heck, we saved six dollars because of that woman; Ri and I were charged! A reminder to pay forward.

 We arrived home to find Mario listening to music on the computer. We made him turn it off and help us decorate the mason jars, much to his dismay. But once he got started, he realized it wasn’t horrible. Maria enjoyed gathering all of the different foods we bought and mixing them together (while she taste-tested each one separately). She also decorated the mason jars and took her time trying to determine what decoration would look best for each person. I love how she put thought into each jar that she decorated; Mario, on the other hand, placed random stars and hearts on all his jars. 


On thanksgiving morning, we drove down to the YMCA to serve the homeless man at the shelter. We have been doing this for about three years, and the kids thoroughly enjoy it. It helps that one of my long-time buddies runs the program and is really great with the kids. The men are also great with the kids – talking to them, thanking them for their service, and teasing them. The kids actively engage with them, especially Maria who sits down with them at their table and asks about their lives. One man approached me and told me how impressed he was with Maria in the way that she could talk to him and make eye contact. It made him feel special.


We got back home in time to shower and greet our guests from Cincinnati. They arrived with much good food and wine and treats. It was an easy year for us on the turkey front. Jon bought two of them from Ray Ray’s hog pit so we had nothing to cook. There is something to be said for going the easy route some years… (especially when Patrick isn’t around to help!). 

Everyone mingled and got caught up on the latest news … and cooed over Elena before dinner. The potatoes actually took the longest this year because my mom had so many in the pot. It was starting to be a stressful situation but they finally came to a boil and we were able to mash them and get them on the table to be served. We chowed on our carbs and went into our annual daze. Folks on the couch watching football and folks in the kitchen cleaning up. 


We went for our annual walk around the block after the dishes, which pleased Rocco greatly. Shortly thereafter, most of the crew left. But the diehard liberals stuck around to talk about their displeasure with the election … and Aunt Ann’s new beau.


We capped the evening off by meeting up with Sarah, Elena, and Jorge at their hotel. We brought some snacks with us and enjoyed jumping on the bed and playing farm with Elena before she went to bed – definitely the highlight of the day for Maria. 

There was no getting up at 4 AM to shop on Friday morning – we slept in letting the carbs run through our bodies. 

Weekend fare

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Ri fasted with her friend on Friday morning through Saturday afternoon in order to raise awareness and money for individuals who die from starvation every day. She did not eat breakfast Friday morning even though I told her that she should at least have a piece of fruit since she would be in school all day. She called me once she arrived at school, and was hysterically laughing.

“Mom, we don’t need to fast until noon today. I could’ve had breakfast!”

Lucky for her, I stashed a few cereal bars in her book bag. She came home from the fasting event at her friend’s church on Friday night around 9:30 PM. She told me about learning how much starvation occurs in the world, what it’s like to not have enough money for clothes and food and medications, and how to help those in need. I am so grateful that she is interested in social justice issues and does not shy away from discussing them.

I asked her if she was going to continue to fast through Saturday and she looked at me like I was crazy.

“Of course I am, Mom. This is a very very important issue and we need more people to get concerned about it.” 

Then she leaned over to me and asked if she could have one lick oh my whipped cream… 

Sure enough, she left on Saturday morning for her babysitter class without any breakfast. The class ended up being ok but not ideal. They learned safety tips and “every way you can get hurt” while babysitting (scraped, burned, cut – they were cracking me up as they described that session) and they got to change a real live baby’s diaper, which Maria could do with her eyes closed. But they did not learn CPR, which is one thing I had hoped would be included in the training.  Nonetheless, they had a good time together and got a “good sitter” certificate. Now, they want to get together and start their own babysitting business to earn money to go to a camp this summer. More power to them!


Meanwhile, Mario had begged me to take him to the mall on Saturday. I had absolutely no desire to drive 20 minutes to walk around that box so we agreed that we would go to GameStop instead. His friend was over when I got home from working out so he went with us. They each brought old video games to turn in for cash. GameStop was filled with mighty fine folks in their sandals and sweatpants and disheveled hair ready to buy the latest Pokémon game. I felt a bit out of place. Mario’s friend had six video games to turn in –they offered him a total of $5.40 for them (3 cents for one of them). Mario had two recent video games, and he got a total of $7. His friend commented how sad it was that his dad spent $60 on each of the games and he only got back $5 for all of them. His comment was a perfect segway for my speech to Mario about spending all of his money on games he would play for a week and then discard. Mario listened to me but obviously didn’t hear me because he walked over to me with several “mature” video games he wanted. I swiftly declined each request much to his dismay. The “dude” at the front desk saw his dismay and pointed out an “awesome” video game that had a teen rating. Mario looked skeptical but decided that he would try it out. When we arrived home, he immediately loved it. I have to thank the dude because I got two hours of cleaning done as Mario described his every move while playing the game.

Ri spent the night at Alana’s on Saturday night so she could spend time with Alana’s new kitten. Yes, she got a kitten for her birthday. Her name is Lillian and she is adorable. Mario and I watched Dude Perfect videos and I let him sleep with Jon, which made him so happy.

On Sunday, Mario and I washed Rocco at the Doggy Spa; Mario had missed out at our last washing so he was excited to go with just me. 


We went to Stauf’s afterwards and ate a pumpkin chocolate chip muffin. Yum. Sweet Rocco waited outside and we watched him through the window. Several people walked up and petted him. Such a doll baby. 

Ri came home at noon and we all headed to her basketball tournament up north. She’s on a tougher team this year and has to step her play up a notch. Jon and I were very proud of her defensive skills and we know her offensive skills will improve with practice. She was hard on herself, as always, but settled down after the coaches talked to her (and Jon – she doesn’t like to talk to me until after the game).


We finished the night with Mario’s practice and some stuffed green peppers compliments of our loving chef, Maria. 

Grace 

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I listened to a podcast yesterday morning and the speaker was talking about pulling up in his driveway and seeing his three kids playing in the yard with a big beachball. He described how he watched them giggle and toss the ball, and how joyful it made him feel. He further described it as a happiness that was so magnificent it seemed undeserved, or as he saw it, grace.

I have been blessed with those moments  on quite a few occasions; mostly when I’m surrounded by family. And it is just as he describes: a happiness that is so full and rich and grounding that it feels it should not be deserved.

It happened last week when I took the kids to an audition for a local play, A Christmas Carole. Neither kid has ever wanted to act before but in the last month or so, Mario became interested, and then Maria followed him. I had no idea what to expect since I’ve never been in theater. I got some tips from my colleague who acted in community theater when she was younger, and I asked a mom in town what she experienced when her daughter tried out a year ago (I have a sneaking suspicion that Mario decided to take up acting because of her daughter…). She told me that the kids would just get up and sing a little bit of a song and recite a few lines. So that is what I told Maria and Mario to expect. 

The kids were so excited when I got home from work. Maria was decked out in a black dress with pearls and Mario was dressed in a button-down shirt and khakis.

We walked into the community center and they had already started auditions. As soon as we walked in a boy stood in the front of the room with a tweed jacket on and asked if he should sing the song in the soprano or the tenor voice. Maria’s and Mario’s jaws dropped to the ground, as did mine. Then a woman followed up after the boy singing a beautiful tune. Maria looked petrified and shook her head sideways.

“I am not doing this, mom. No way.”

Mario just stood in awe.

There were quite a few folks waiting to be called so I hoped that some of them were winging auditions like us and were amateurs. I got my wish a few kids later. One sang “happy birthday” and another sang “jingle bells.” The kids felt somewhat relieved. Mario’s friend Addy showed up with her mom soon thereafter and went before Maria and Mario so they could continue to get comfortable in the surroundings. She sang “happy birthday to you” and Mario felt much better. He walked up next and sang his jingle bells song. He kept his chin up and sang at a respectable decibel level. I know he was a bit nervous compared to when he was practicing with Maria and me. After he was finished, Maria decided that she would go ahead and do it, too. She sang “row row row your boat” and even used voice inflexion. She has a really pretty voice. After she finished, Mario walked up to her and gave her a hug.  I wanted to weep at his warmth towards his sis. I was just so relieved and glad the both of them at least gave it a try and did not let fear hold them back.

After singing in front of the theater director, they had no problems reciting lines with other actors. Maria was incredible with her word tone and her movements. I was very surprised at how well she did. Mario did well, also, but I think he was assuming there would be movie lights and Hollywood actors at the audition. I think his big goal is simply to be on a movie screen as a cinema hunk.

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​As I stood in the back of the room, my heart swelled over the bravery these two kids exhibited by showing up at a blind audition where they knew nothing about what would happen. They overcame their fear and anxiety and performed. I couldn’t have been prouder. 

Weekend busy

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Ri and Mario spent the entire weekend in sleepovers with their friends. Friday night, Ri and Mario headed up to the football game tailgate with Jon. They arrive an hour early to party it up with the rest of the parents parked in the lot by the field. Ri chatted it up with Jon’s friends and ate the unending line of dips while Mario threw the football with his buddies. 


I made it up in the second half (after letting go of the week’s work and taking my pup for a walk in the woods). When I arrived, Ri and Evelyn were already asking for a sleepover. Mario and Zach had already gotten approval from their dads for one at Zach’s house. I agreed and we decided to leave the game to head to Choclate Cafe for a late night snack. As I cleaned up the kitchen, the girls primped up for the Cafe. I had no clue that’s what they were doing and when they came down, I was caught by surprise. They really need to not dress up because they look like high schoolers and it makes me cringe! 


We enjoyed caramel truffles and milkshakes at 10 pm. Meanwhile, the boys played some serious x box at Zach’s house. 

On Saturday, the girls humored me and walked to Stauf’s for breakfast. We sat outside with Rocco and played cards while eating our yummy muffins. Then we hit Target for dress shopping – the girls’ favorite activity. The boys went, too, in order to sucker me into buying them face masks for their Nerf battles. Mario brought up his previous two eye scratches and that’s all it took. I bought them. Ri found a dress after trying on three of them. Ev wanted her to get one with polka dots but RI’s style is much more subdued – plain black. 


After Target, I took Ri to get her hair conditioned. A week ago, she mixed coconut oil and baking powder in her hair and it felt like hay. It looked awful and you couldn’t get a brush through it. She didn’t seem to care but it drove me nuts. It took two washes to get it clean but it finally looked normal again.

The girls had a b-day party on Saturday afternoon, and the boys wanted to hang out our house since we’ve got all the “bad food.” I agreed to take them for the night and our friends would take the girls. The boys begged me to take them to Get Air like I took the girls one evening a while back. But Zach is still recovering from a concussion so we couldn’t do trampolines. They decided on Galaxy Games and Golf for a round of putt-putt and some gym play. Little did they know that I am quite the putt-putter. I amazed them with my hole-in-one. Actually, I heard Mario whisper to Zach “my mom is really good.” Precious. 


We walked inside after their crushing defeat and right in front of us was a claw machine – Mario’s addiction! He begged for coins to play. Again, sucker mom. It doesn’t help that I love those dang claw machines, too. Mario, of course, immediately won a stuffed animal and a ball. It took Zach a few more tries but he nabbed an animal and a ball, too. In trying to get an animal, he nearly got a stuffed animal chicken. Mario was set on winning it because I was dumb enough to whisper “oh, I would have loved that chicken!” He’s gonna spend all his money on his dates trying to win them stuffed animals. He kept trying and trying but the chicken kept winning. I finally stepped in and asked if I could try it. I clawed the chicken and a random teddy bear – won two in one try! Can you sense my excitement still?! The boys were amazed again….


I had to put a stop on the claw games much to their dismay. They would have spent a fortune there if they could. We moved on to the gym, which was full of kids. I read my book and ate my snacks while looking up at Mario here and there when he shouted at me. 

We stopped at McDonald’s on the way home for some delicious dinner and then turned on the Buckeyes game when we got home. They made their way to the reclining sofa and commented on every play of the game. Jon got home shortly after us and we all watched the game together. Mario fell asleep around 10 but Zach hung in with us until the end. 

The next morning the boys and I walked to Stauf’s (two days in a row!). We ate bagels while playing cards and watching the marathoners. Heaven. Then we topped off the sleepover by heading to the woods for a Nerf gun battle. Rocco refused to leave Mario’s side. Alana and Patty were at the house when we returned. 

Alana and Ri loved working the concession stand at Mario’s football game. They each made some cash from it. 


Meanwhile, Mario and his teammates suffered their first loss of the season. They played hard with two of their stars out with injuries. I’ve never seen so many crying boys after the game. But they have next week to recover. 


So there you have it – another non-stop weekend with friends and parties galore. It’s a new kind of busy from the days of toddler-hood but I love it all the same.

Mini-Pittsburgh trip

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Our weekends have been so full this Fall between sports that we have not been able to schedule any weekend outings. But Ri freed us up a bit with her soccer concussion – way to take one for team, Ri-bee! Now we have Saturdays free so we used the newfound freedom to head to Steeler country and visit Sarah, Jorge and sweet Elena for a couple of days.

I picked up the kids at noon on Friday, which absolutely made Mario’s day. He actually begged to not go to school at all Friday morning…. (I’m telling ya, I will not be surprised when he leaves us at age 15 for Hollywood – the latest place he wants to live). Ri was more excited at the thought of seeing Elena then getting out of school (unlike Mario she “loves school so much”). We hit I-70 with our bags of snacks and water bottles. 

I loved the drive out to Pittsburgh because we talked nearly the entire trip. Ri gave us her vocabulary words and we thought up sentences for them. Mario looked at our Atlas book and decided he wanted to visit Australia. They read some. We geeked out at the “Welcome to West Virginia” sign and then the “Welcome to Pennsylvania” sign soon thereafter. Those moments boost me up more than any energy drink ever could. 

We arrived to Pittsburgh traffic but – as Ri pointed out – not as bad of traffic as it could be. She’s been to Pittsburgh a handful of times but she knows the city like the back of her hand…. We finally hit our exit and waited at the light to turn up Poucousset Street. Ri observed that the intersection looked like an intersection in Oaxaca with the painted mural on the stone wall, the gas station and the one-story stone building. Gotta love this perceptive girl. 

We arrived at Sarah’s house with the kids fighting over who got to present Elena with her Frozen book. Ri gave in to Mario and let him present it to her. Sarah opened the front door holding Elena in her arms. The kids yelled surprise and Elena made a hilarious “O” face and held out her hand like an officer directing traffic. She is a card! She immediately jumped down and played with the kids. Within five minutes, she was directing Ri and Mario to jump on the bed with her.


Mario couldn’t wait to go to the park and try out the cement slide. He had heard about it from Ri when she went to Pittsburgh and it sounded awesome. The rain was heading towards the city so we loaded up the kids and drove to Frick Park. The slide did not disappoint.


Elena loves the rolling hills at the park so she held our hands and led us in their direction. The kids ran down the hill in a scene reminiscent of Little House on the Prarie, minus the face plants. Elena likes to act like she’s sleeping and Ri has to wake her up. She also likes to climb on Ri and Mario’s backs. Oh, and she loves to eat grass, much to Sarah’s irritation. 


As it started to sprinkle harder, we decided to pack it up and hit the hotel pool for some swimming action. We all could have eaten Elena up in her swimsuit and floaties. 


The hotel pool seemed minuscule compared to our visit four years ago. And they got rid of the hot tub! The hot tub is Maria’s and Mario’s favorite. 

The pool was freezing when we jumped in and sweet Elena was shivering within ten minutes. We lasted about 30 minutes altogether – the kids got to act out lines as they jumped in the pool and Elena loved watching Ri do cannonballs. 

We got dressed and you guessed it – we headed out for another adventure. This time to the Union of Pig and Chicken. They serve southern goodness – baked beans, collard greens, brisket, corn bread. Ri was all up for it; Mario, aka “picky eater” was not. He ordered plain nachos. While he ate those, we could not get enough of our food. Delicious!


We could not fathom dessert after that spread so we dropped off Elena and Sarah at their house and headed back to the hotel to watch some cheesy Nickolodeon movie and lay in our pjs. We did end up getting ice cream bars and KitKats later in the evening, however….

Mario woke up at 6:30 am Saturday morning. I purposely drew the heavy curtains with the hope the darkness would keep him sleeping. No luck. He is a night owl and an early morning bird! I made him lay with me until 7:15 am and then Ri woke. I thought for sure they’d want to go to the pool but they had no desire. They just wanted to see Elena. I called Sarah at 8 am and for once Elena was still sleeping! We wore that girl out. To our glee, by the time we got packed up, checked out and got Starbucks, she had awaken and was ready to see us. 

We pretty much hopped right back in the car as soon as we arrived and headed 40 minutes outside of Pittsburgh to a pumpkin patch. It was still sprinkling outside as we drove. We kept hoping it would stop and clear up. Meg and dad met us at the patch and informed us we just missed a massive downpour before we arrived. I guess a few sprinkles is nothing compared to a downpour. Dad probably just said that so we’d keep the sprinkles in perspective….

The clan headed straight to the corn maze. Mario and Maria darted into the entrance and loved trying to find their way around. I have never been a big fan of corn mazes; they freak me out. But the kids love them and Elena seemed to love it, also. At the end of the maze, they had a sledgehammer game where you try to hit the ball to reach the bell at the top. It looked a lot easier than it was, I can say that much. Mario tried with all of his might to get it up to the top. He accomplished the feat on the miniature one!


They had a slingshot area where you tried to shoot a tennis ball at a target. Mario got quite a few at the first target; Jorge and I cracked up at our attempts at the farther target. 


They also had a tube slide and inflatables. Elena loved the kiddie inflatable but she wanted Maria in it with her the entire time. Mario loved racing Ri and I in the other inflatable – he won by ten seconds each race. Ugh! They also had a petting zoo and lots of animals to see, including little chicks and a piggy. My favorite! It was Elena’s favorite as well. 

Our last activity was the hay ride to find pumpkins. We found Elena a tiny  pumpkin as we looked for the most perfect colored and shaped pumpkin in the patch to put on our porches. I loved a white squat one but another person grabbed it. Mario nabbed a pretty bright orange one with a curved stem. Maria ended up with a monster of a pumpkin weighing 32 pounds! I got a multicolored one – green and orange. We all walked away happy. 


The rest of the gang was ready to call it a day four hours after we had arrived but the kids and I decided we needed one more round of pig watching and haunted house viewing, and we still needed to go apple picking. We kissed our gang  goodbye and headed up to see our pig. Then we went to the haunted house, and ended the day picking golden delicious and gala apples from the orchard. I figured we’d head home from the pumpkin patch but the kids wanted to see Elena one more time. 

So we loaded ourselves into the car and headed back to Sarah’s house. Are you tired yet?! We scooped up Elena and took her to the park while Sarah took a run. In typical Mary style, I allowed Elena to play in the mud and get her hands full of it. In typical Maria style, she joined in the mud-fest and got it all over her. In typical Mario style, he stayed far away and was repulsed. I was cracking up. But I knew better they to let Sarah see Elena with mud-filled hands so we darted to the water fountain and cleaned her off before Sarah ended her run. There was no way to clean Ri but Sarah wasn’t surprised that she was full of dirt! 

After the park, the kids wanted to take Elena to target to look at toys. Yes, we hopped in the car for one last trip. The kids were fascinated with Target because it had a parking garage and an escalator. Hilarious. We got Elena a new fall outfit and played with toys in the toy aisle. Yes, all Frozan items….

We bought some nutritious Lunchables for the ride home and packed back into the car to head to Sarah’s house. I packed up my car with our goodies while Ri and Mario gave kisses to Elena and told her they loved her. We packed ourselves into the car with pumpkins by our sides and Lunchables in laps. Earlier, my key had gotten stuck in my car so I had to park it at the top of Sarah’s narrow driveway to avoid someone stealing it. I reversed the car in the dark trying to see behind me. As soon as I merged in between the two houses, I thought to myself “watch the side view mirrors.” I might as well have willed me to hit one against the brick wall. CRUNCH!

I let out a few choice words only to hear Maria whisper up to me “it could be worse mom, you could have gotten in a huge wreck.” That’s my girl. Perspective. After all, I could still see out of the side mirror through all the cracks.

Jorge and Elena came our to check on us and after laughing about the craziness of it all, I drove off into the Pittsburgh night with the kids watching Spellbound and devouring their ham and crackers. 

What did you learn?

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So just a day after I posted my last blog about giving the kids feedback on how they played during their games, I read this article. Life is about constantly growing and learning, right?
I love this approach. It isn’t off-putting like giving feedback may be to a kid who just listened to the coach drone on about the game for 15 minutes. It’s not accusatory like giving feedback about certain plays on the field. It allows the child to think through actions on the field and arrive at his or her own self-feedback. It also reinforces that we are all here to learn – in sport, in school, in relationships. We are far from perfect at any age, and need to embrace the constant quest. 

To that end, I think I will add this to my repertoire and ask myself this same question at the end of my days. 

“What did I learn in that meeting?

“What did I learn from giving that presentation?”

“What did I learn from chowing on that sheetcake at 11 pm?!”

I love to watch you play … But I also like to see you play well…!

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We had a full day of sports yesterday. Ri had a double header softball game at 10 am, Mario had a two hour football game at 12:30, and Ri finished out the day with a soccer game at 3:30. I know, I know. All my friends with older kids remind me of how much I will miss these packed days when my kiddos are grown. And I know I will because I actually don’t mind watching them for hours straight on a weekend (as long as I can get my teeny workout in and I may wish they played a bit closer to Grandview but that’s about it). 

However, when I watch them play, I do expect them to give it their all. If I’m putting in the time to watch, they should put in the time to play hard. I was complaining to my girlfriend a few weeks ago about Ri not running up to the ball hard enough. I told her I felt bad because after Ri’s game I coached Ri and told her that she’s gotta concentrate on the ball ahead of her more. Ri responded flippantly “how about saying nice game, Ri?”  My girlfriend counseled me that I need to simply say after her game “I love to watch you play.”

After thinking about it more, I resolved to take my friend’s advise but add to it. I’m gonna tell my kids “I love to watch you play, and I also love to give you feedback on things I thought you did well and things to look out for next game.” That’s fair, right? Heck, that’s what I do with school work so why can’t I do it for sports? 

And so I did just that yesterday without too much negative feedback from either child. They were too high on their performances to give me any negative feedback: they both did amazing jobs in their games. Ri cranked out two strikeouts and a play at home. I got a bit of it on video for once. 

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Mario had two great runs in his football game and I scored big for getting them on video. He loved watching himself last night….

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And then Ri finished the day with a shot in the goal form the right wing position. Her face was priceless after the shot went into the goal. I was too busy jumping up and down to capture it! But I did capture some smiling faces after the game.


So maybe my feedback after the “I love to watch you play” comment is working…or getting them so irritated that they take out their aggression on the field. Either way, I will take it.

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