Gulp

August 21, 2014August 21, 2014Leave a comment

I really don’t think it’s possible to love this kid anymore. I went to his back-to-school night last night and the above poster was hanging up outside his classroom. What a dear friend he is to have his number one wish be to spend every second with his buddy, Quinn. Jon and I have to rent a RV to make Mario’s second wish come true. Mario has been begging for a trip in a RV since he was four and hooked on the show Ben 10 (where Ben rides around in a RV). Before he wanted to go to Mt. Rushmore in the RV but now I see it’s Hawaii. We better rent it soon before he opts for Asia.
Mario is working hard on his third wish. Jon and I are amazed at his perseverance and grit on the football field. He’s the youngest boy in tackle but he is one of the strongest.

He also has a lot of heart. He wants to get out there and tackle the heck out of kids. He could care less about catching the ball. He just wants to hit. He’s been this way since he was a toddler; he’s always loved to wrestle. Jon and I have spent countless hours on the family room carpet going round after round with him. He’s a strong little sucker. Last night, he got in his football stance and ran towards us to tackle. Both Jon and I woke up this morning with sore chests from his pushes.
He tells us that he wants to play pro because then he’d make one million dollars. He also thinks he will get money in college. I explain to him he may get a scholarship where his room and board are paid and then mom and dad would save money but he would not get actual money in his own pocket. He doesn’t quite get that and dismisses me each time I explain it. However, by the time he becomes a college football player, the NCAA will probably allow stipends, if not a paycheck… so he will probably be right in the end.
I read his note he wrote to Jon and I as I listened to his teacher talk about the class routine. In his note, he told Jon and I “do not be scared.” I thought that was interesting advice to give us. He must know that he’s gonna take risks (example, playing tackle football at age 6) and that he needs to reinforce in Jon and I that we need to swallow our fears and let him try….
Gulp.

Finally! A no travel weekend

August 19, 2014Leave a comment

We had no plans to travel this weekend. I don’t believe that has happened for three months. Ms. Elena has a lot to do with that predicament. Ri and I can barely go a week without heading to the farm to see her.

We’ve also had Cincy pool parties, Big Mario’s pig roast, farm family reunions, vacation. You name it, we did it this Summer. So it was heavenly to stay put this weekend.
Maria had a Strings picnic on Saturday afternoon. I thought it was just a gathering outside the middle school to play on the swings and jungle gym and get to know fellow String players. I had Joanne pick up Ri so I could finish cleaning and told Ri I’d meet up with her at 1 (the picnic was 12-2). Mario and I walked up at 1. I should say that Mario started out in the stroller but then walked as soon as we spotted his football coach. He had not wanted the stroller to begin with but we were in a hurry and he wanted to eat lunch so he couldn’t bike. He even told me as he hopped in “I can’t let anyone see me in this because it’s embarrassing.” So when we spotted Coach Jim and his family a block ahead of us, he leaped out of his seat and walked ahead of me. What a trip.
We arrived at Edison to find no one outside. We learned the picnic was inside and all the kids, including Ri, were sitting in rows with their instruments. I guess this is a musician’s idea of a picnic… The 4th graders plucked away as they tried to follow the notes on the page. The 5-7 graders played with their bows. They actually sounded pretty good. Ri and her two girlfriends looked a bit overwhelmed but they hung in with the rest of them.
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Afterwards, I asked Ri what she thought. She confirmed she was overwhelmed and that her fingers were sore from plucking. I began to feel the “I want to give up” cloud moving in and promptly blew it away. “You are just starting. You will only get better. You need to hang in there.” She nodded and continued walking.
When we got home, she immediately placed her violin case on the table and took it out. She began to pluck after she wrote down a line of D’s, A’s and G’s. She did this off and on all weekend, and loved playing a “concert” for Jon and Mario and me. Hopefully, this enthusiasm will remain.
Mario enjoyed hanging with his boy, Quinn over the weekend and swimming with his friends Zachary and Owen. He always wants to be with his friends or on his iPad so when we say no to iPad, we know he will ask to play with a friend. Quinn is always first on the list. But Saturday, Quinn was busy so Mario met Zachary and Owen to swim and play at Zachary’s house. Dressing up and drinking lots of juice was involved.
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Ri and Sophie and I took Rocco for a walk to Grandview Ave. around dinner time. Why is it that we always and up with Jeni’s ice cream for dinner when we do that?!
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Mario and I played Yahtzee when we got home while Ri played violin. He and I had an epic battle – two competitive souls fighting for a Yahtzee. Neither of us got one but he made it up top so he beat me by 35 points. He loved that.
On Sunday, Jon and I were treated to an anniversary breakfast in bed by M&M. Mario kept running into our room to see if we were sleeping until finally he pleaded for us to get up at 8 am (yea, they were up before 7). He brought us two coffees and me a Powerade. He knows his mama. Ri brought up two plates holding two over easy eggs and a waffle. They made us eat all the food as they watched us (the eggs may have needed cooked a bit longer). We told them that the best things to came from our marriage were them munchballs.

After breakfast, we cleaned Ri’s room – I swear we had two garbage bags of stuff to either throw away or give away and yet her room was still cluttered as can be. Mario would not allow his room to be clawed over for old toys and trash. He neatly piled all his junk in his drawers or bins and called it a day.
I did get the kids to take Rocco to the woods with me. Rocco has finally come to terms with the kids climbing up the tree. He used to bark and jump up on the tree to get them.
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Mario got his wish come true the rest of Sunday. He got to play with Quinn all day. Ri got to play with Sophie, too. It’s been such a long time since we had an entire day to spend just relaxing with friends. Jon and I spent the day gazing into each others’ eyes still mesmerized by each other 12 years after we said our vows to one another. Actually I got a massage and he got palettes for Ri’s broken bed frame but we did swipe smiles at one another as we walked out the door. >

First day of school – 2014

August 14, 2014Leave a comment

And so a new school year begins….
Mario in First and Ri in Fourth. We had one school year – last year – where the kids were both in the same building. It passed too quickly, and now we have Ri heading to the Intermediate school just a few blocks from our street and Mario staying at the Elementary school about a mile away. Ri has to be to school by 8 am (and will deal with nothing less than being ten minutes early) and Mario has to be at school by 8:15 (and could care less if he’s there early). It made for an interesting first morning. Jon and I had to draw straws to see who took who. Actually, we didn’t in the end because we both knew who Mario would want to take him. Jon. He’s a huge dad fan lately. So Ri and I started up our street at 7:35 am hoping to meet some friends along the way. We found Nora!
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Then Lucia!
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And then throngs of kids in front of the school doors. Ri talked with random friends and then the teacher came out to welcome them. I snuck in behind Ri and got to see her classroom. She promptly shoo’d me away and I obeyed. But not before making sure her school supplies were in the room. They weren’t. Great. I confirmed with her teacher that they wouldn’t need them today and found the name of the PTO rep who I needed to call. I swore I ordered her supplies not once, but twice on line just to be safe. She’s the child that will freak out if everything is not in order. I left without even telling her so she wouldn’t stress all day and promptly called the rep to make sure I could have her supplies by tomorrow.
Then I biked like Lance Armstrong down to Mario’s school. When I arrived, there was a line around the school to enter. I cut through it and I made it to Mario’s room in time to see him planted in his seat ready to learn.
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I had managed to get his supplies ordered ( the child who could care less). One star for me. Mario was quiet and shy. He began to draw on the sheet of paper in front of him that had the words “Summer, I did….” He kept glancing around at friends coming in the classroom. He doesn’t have any of his football buddies or previous boys from Kindergarten in the classroom but I know he will make quick friends. My girlfriend sent me this darling GQ-like picture from earlier in the morning.
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It was much easier to drop off this year than last year when Mario cried and cried. He’s growing up.
I biked over to Ri’s school at lunch. They had a 4-8th grade cookout. They were dancing to the YMCA song and running everywhere. Ri was her chill self sitting on the jungle gym.
“Why don’t you go dance, Ri?”
“I don’t want to.”
I smiled and rubbed her dangling foot. I’m learning to stand back. As much as I want to advise her on who to play with and who to befriend, I’ve got to let her be and trust that she will figure it out like we all did as young girls.
I biked from work at 2:30 to catch Mario after school. He came running out happy as can be
and chatting with his buddies. He confirmed he had a great day – thank goodness. I expected Ri to be down there when I arrived but she was not. I started to ridiculously fret that maybe she went home instead or got kidnapped or had to walk alone or… You name it, I thought it.
I got a text at 2:55 from Ri’s friend, Evie informing me that Ri wanted to talk to me.
“Mom, we are at the top of the hill;can I go say hi to Mrs. Pharion?”
I was relieved she had made it down from Edison and that she was not asking me to pick her up (she is not my walker girl). When I caught up with her, I asked her how the walk to Stevenson was. She said “great.” I was very happy to hear that word; hopefully she will continue to like walking home with Kathryn and Evie. It’s good for her. It also led to her pleading for a phone like Evie has and ten justifications for having one. This will an on-going battle this year, I am sure.
By the time I got done talking to Maria, Mario had decided to go with Stephanie and Quinn to DQ. Sophie ran over to Ri to ask her to go. Ri planted a big hug on her.
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And they were off for after-school ice cream with their buddies. First day over and done with – grateful to see it end with smiles and friends.
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Act up!

August 8, 2014August 8, 20142 Comments

I appreciate what the author of this article is trying to get across – don’t raise your daughter to be self conscious about her body. Tell her she’s strong. Let her know you run to be healthy. Inform her you do squats to climb mountains. Educate her to eat well to live a long time.
I don’t disagree, and it certainly doesn’t hurt to remind us of how important this is for our daughters to hear.
But damn if I don’t say those things over and over again to Maria yet she still looks at herself in the mirror at times and says “I’m too big.”
I stand behind her when I hear that and make her look at herself. “Keep looking,” I tell her. I look in the mirror with her. I talk about how strong she is. How she can pick me up because of those muscular legs. How her arms are able to carry loads of groceries in the house. How her booty pushes down on those bike pedals and makes her ride like the wind around town.
She smiles. She nods her head and hugs me. And I hope those affirmations strike deep into her soul and remain.

The other morning I walked into her room and noticed three barbies lying on the floor. One was naked with her perky boobs standing straight up in salute. Another had on a party dress up to her mid-thigh; her tiny legs the circumference of pencils. Another had on a bikini with a stomach that was not only flat but actually concave into her body like a tiny dip in the road.
Hmmm, I wonder where she finds evidence to make her feel “big.”

My mom got me the Dusty doll when I was Ri’s age. She had dull brown hair cut to her shoulders, size AA breasts, if that, hidden under a t-shirt, a pair of shorts and gym shoes. Yea, that explains a lot about me today. That Dusty doll made a lasting impression on me through my love of sports and hard labor and lifting weights and running shorts and gym shoes (put me near pairs of heels and nothing happens but put me near pairs of running shoes, and I salivate!)).

Ri has little rolls on her tummy. I catch her doing what I did as a young girl. Pinching the rolls with her two fingers as she lies in bed staring up at the ceiling. What’s she thinking? I remember feeling “if only I could get rid of these, I’d be as pretty as —-.” I grew up with MTV and with Charlie’s Angels. Madonna. Christie Brinkley. I remember wishing – with my like flat-chested girlfriend – of having big boobs and a tiny waist like the actresses on tv. Ri is growing up with Selena Gomez, Christina Aguilera, and tv shows with perky girls in fashionable clothes. Nothing has really changed.

I’m so thankful for the women that raised me. Through them, I saw that there were other qualities about a girl that mattered. I watched full-bodied women dance in flowing dresses without a care; I listened to women of all shapes laugh together at the dining room table; I witnessed intellect and debate shoot from the mouths of women in my home and in my school. These women weren’t hung up on their dress size – they were hung up on life and fully experiencing it. Amen sisters.

Luckily, a lot of those same women are helping me raise Ri. She’s bearing witness to many of the acts I bore witness to as a young girl. Amen again, sisters.

And so while I appreciate and take note of these articles that remind us to watch what we are saying to our daughters and how we are talking about our own bodies around them, I also need to keep in mind the importance of actions.

Buy the Dusty dolls and the science kits.
Dance around the house like an exotic butterfly.
Fix the kitchen drain with my own two hands.
Mow the lawn.
Jump on my bike with Ri and ride a trail.
Embrace my stomach and my butt.
Write a poem.
Lift heavy weights.
Flex my muscles.

Let Ri see, as well as hear, that no matter if you have lotsa rolls or just a few, who cares? Concentrate on simply diving into life and fully experiencing it.

I think she’s getting it just fine.

Love is in the air (along with a photo booth!)

August 5, 2014August 5, 2014Leave a comment

A cousin wrote on Facebook that she’s amazed at the number of people who have never been to a wedding. After all, she’s been to 16. It got me thinking of the reception that we went to on Saturday night near Toledo.
Jon and I had been so brain dead since our Great Wolf Lodge trip that we had not watched the news in two days. It ends up that Toledo had a water problem caused by algae and people were driving 60 miles south to stock up on bottled water. The reception was almost canceled because they did not know if they could get enough water or make the food for the 200+ guests. That would have been a perfect end to our vacation week – drive 2.5 hours to arrive at an empty reception hall.
Ri got dropped off from her Cedar Point trip at 2 pm on Saturday afternoon. She and her friend Evie rode roller coasters and got henna tattoos and swam at the hotel pool in Sandusky. She loved it. Evie’s mom is a machine for taking them and her son and his friends up there (they left at 6 am on Friday morning!).

We got our RedBox movies, activity books, markers, food (snacks are a necessity for any trip greater than 10 miles), and sweatshirts (the kids always complain about the AC on the way home) and we were off. Jon and I were pleasantly surprised that the trip only took a little over 2 hours. However, that meant we were the first ones at the hotel reception hall. We had to forego the wedding ceremony (much to Ri’s dismay) because Ri got home too late from Cedar Point. We wandered around the lobby until some other guests arrived. We knew no one. Megan and David (the married couple) were both our babysitters throughout the last four years. We found Megan in 2011 – she watched the kids after school and during the Summer and David took over in 2012 until this summer when he got an internship. Ri idolized Megan. Megan taught her to ride a bike with no training wheels and jump off the diving boards at the pool. Mario idolized David. He taught him how to shoot a basketball and throw a football. They were both great with the kids and I’m sure Ri and Mario will always remember them as they get older.
The Smith family finally arrived. Karen and Adam went to law school with me and have five girls. Karen introduced me to Megan because Megan’s sister babysits the Smith girls. Yea, Jon and I had some adults we knew and could talk to as we waited for the reception hall to open. Ri roamed around grabbing broccoli and dip from the appetizer stations and Mario hung outside waiting patiently for David to drive up. And finally they arrived!
Mario began to run out to greet David. Maria was appalled. “Mom! You can’t let him go out there!” She is definitely the adult in the group. I allowed Mario to give him a hug and then made him come right back inside to appease Ri.
And then the traditional wedding reception activities flowed just like at the many other receptions I’ve been to through the years. Megan and David ran into the ballroom hoopin’ and hollerin’. The DJ played “Let’s get Ready to Rumble” as they ran in – Mario found that so cool. Megan’s dad made a toast and the maid of honor and best man followed. We ate. We cut the cake. We watched the bouquet toss, which Ri viewed intensely (they made the eligibility 18 years and up which bummed her out). We watched the removal of the garter – David had to start from the back of the room and impress Megan enough to take off the garter. He unbuttoned his vest and his shirt as he swayed smoothly towards Megan. They played stripper music. It was hilarious. Mario had his hands over his mouth in glee. And when David went under her dress for the garter, Mario slapped his knees in awe and laughed hysterically. What he’s learning….
Then we had cake and Mario danced to one of those traditional wedding songs where you all have to move to the left and right and shake….
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Meanwhile, Ri found the photo booth in the corner of the ballroom, and proceeded to throw on ridiculous props and get her picture taken. Mario caught hold of it, too, and that was the end of any other activity. They begged Jon to do it with them, too, and he let down his guard and went for it.
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Meanwhile, I ate a second piece of chocolate cake and watched Megan jamming it out on the dance floor. I thought back to my wedding day with Jon and remembered how we engaged in the the same activities that Megan and David did on our day (except I may have been a bit more animated and tipsy…). And how my cousins all sat there on the edge of the dance floor watching Jon and I’s first dance just like Ri and Mario watched Megan and David’s first dance. Weddings are magical, especially to kids.
Jon and I were exhausted as we drove home at 10:30 pm. But we were glad we bit the bullet and made it to the celebration. Megan and David deserved our love and support and they gave more than they know to Ri and Mario that night. After witnessing all the fun and love at the reception and receiving hugs and kisses from Megan and David, M&M left the ball room with first-hand knowledge that life is beautiful and full of joy and not to be taken too seriously.

Water park vacation – Summer 2014

August 4, 2014August 4, 2014Leave a comment

I was warned – by several people. I laughed them off and scolded them for being too snobbish. I can handle anything, I thought to myself. I am very tolerant.

We walked into Great Wolf Lodge at 4:10 pm. Check-in started at 4 pm. The line was 30 people deep. Kids were running around everywhere. Rock music blared in the corner of the lobby and an over-sized furry wolf hopped around among a group of toddlers. Jon gave me the look “you gotta be kidding me.”
I smiled at him. I was determined to keep a good attitude. A burly man in front of me inched back and bumped right into me. He tussled with his bags in front of him and did not even bother to turn around to say sorry. A woman held her crying infant behind me and screamed at her child who was running too far away from her.
Deep breath.
I witnessed a plethora of lovely behavior as I stood in line – including my own behavior after Ri hit me with a bag and I snapped at her. There’s something about standing in line, watching parents jam wolf ears on their kids’ heads and hearing screams from crazed toddlers that just makes you lose it.
Forty minutes later, I was given wristbands and told all about the breakfast buffet and the late night MagiQuest game. We walked back to our room and the kids loved the fact that your wristband opened the room door. The kids ran in the room and checked out their bunk beds in their “cabin.” This is what grabbed Mario’s attention when he reviewed Great Wolf on his iPad. He thought it would be cool to have his own cabin. They fought over the top bunk and jumped from the top to the day bed. Jon and I cringed at the full size bed on our side of the room. There was no way we were fitting in that bad boy. Pull out sofa here I come.
We threw on our swim suits and headed to the water park. Joy. It was as packed as the check-in line. I thought Jon would die but he did very well. He did not cuss anyone out or shove anyone even though he was bumped and brushed against on numerous occasions. We hit the wave pool and the family raft ride. The kids loved the lily pad crossing – Mario especially. He must have tried to cross 15 times. He made it each time – even when he fell in the water – because he could crawl back on the lily pad. His little body is one big muscle.

We cranked out a couple of hours and then headed back to the room. The kids love room service when we stay at hotels. They just want to sit in their pjs, watch tv, and eat in bed. So I headed out for LaRosas carry out. Yum. I pray they get a LaRosas in Columbus soon. The sauce is so good. We chowed down and headed back to the pool to close it down at 10 pm. The kids loved returning to our room to watch tv until 11. Ahh, vacation.
On Monday, we took Jon to the Entertrainment Junction. It has a killer train layout that we thought Jon would like. It also has a fun house with different rooms that the kids love. Jon got a kick out of them too, and kept making me go through the House of Mirrors, which terrified me and gave Jon and the kids much joy.
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The rock climbing was a lot of fun.
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Oddly enough, they had a Santa exhibit with a jolly ol’ Santa sitting in his chair. I think Ri has an idea that Santa is not real because she kept pushing me away when I told her to tell Santa what she wants for Christmas. Meanwhile, Mario spouted off what he wanted with ease: a tv, x box, phone….
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We ate at Frisch’s Big Boy for lunch. I remember going there with my grandma Heile when I was young. I love their Big Boy sandwiches and have not chowed down on one of those for years. It still tasted heavenly.
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Ri found the Bear Paw on Monday night. They served Edy’s ice cream, which didn’t thrill me but at least it was ice cream.
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Mario decided to stay back with dad while we ate our ice cream, and we found him chillin’ when we returned.
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On Monday, Jon caved in and allowed a Perkins trip for breakfast. It did not disappoint. Their pancakes are incredible. I went through all my experiences as a waitress at Perkins while we waited for our food… here’s the seating chart, this is how I’d introduce myself, these were the breakfast options…. I think Ri is the only one who appreciated it.
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After Perkins, we headed south to the Newport Aquarium. It was not as big as I expected or have as many things to do as we hoped. We thought it would be a full day trip with the amount it cost to get into the place. But it still brought joy. The kids got to touch a shark and watch penguins dance around and witness me squeal in delight over baby frogs.
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They also got to act like an alligator was biting their heads off.
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But my favorite was the puffer fish in the glass walk way who kept coming around to see the kids. What a munch.
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We returned to Great Wolf Lodge in the late afternoon. Jon and I were trying to figure out another place to go before heading back (oh please!) but the kids wanted to return. These vacations are all about them and so we sucked it up. This is when Mario found out about MagiQuest. This is yet another plot to reel kids in and force parents to dole out cash. $80 later we had our swords and our booklet. Mario was on a mission. Ri hung with him for a bit but then got worn out. The game requires you to go up and down stairs and through hallways. You do get your exercise, at least. We got Ri her ice cream cone and took her back to the room. Then Mario spent from 9:45 to 11 pm finding runes.
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He was addicted. As soon as we woke up on Wednesday, he was ready to go find more runes. He would have skipped the Reds game in a heartbeat. But us mean parents made him go. Downtown Cincy has changed so much since I was a kid. I was filled with nostalgia as I walked to the stadium. All my Reds’ trips with Lisa and my love for Dave Parker. I dragged the kids and Jon everywhere.
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We had an hour to wait around not realizing that the doors didn’t open until an hour and a half before the game. We bought obligatory Reds hats and a jersey for Mario at the souvenir shop and big foam fingers, of course.
We were the first ones in when the doors opened. Our seats were two rows back in front of 1st base. That is the closest I have ever sat to the players. I was in heaven. Ri and I walked up to the rail and waited with throngs of others for autographs. I had not thought to bring a sharpie so all we had was our ticket stubs and an old pen. But Ri cranked one out from Rosie Red and Donald Lunz. Mario ran up when Ri was getting Lunz’s and was able to get one, too. We kept trying but ushers were pushing back. As we were walking away, Billy Hamilton came out. We happened to be standing close. Mario took off his hat and swung it at him begging for an autograph. A man standing close shared his sharpie and it was history. Mario had his first autographed cap. Ri was dejected at first but then we talked about being happy for one another and sharing in the joy that others’ feel. She really gets that at her young age and she shook it off and started waving her foam finger.
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I loved watching the game with Jon and the kids. M&M really got into it. I think part of that was the fact that we were so close and the usher told us that after each inning, we could run to the rail and yell for the manager, Billy Hatcher, to throw us the ball. This excited the kids and sure enough after the first inning, Mario and Ri ran up to the railing along with ten other kids. Jon stood behind them. Billy Hatcher threw the ball to Mario and he dropped it. He threw it again and Jon reached in to catch it. Mario was charged up. Ri was dejected – again. Broke my heart.
Now, I have family and friends that would immediately tell Ri “that’s life, suck it up.” And I agree that life doesn’t always go your way and you need to learn that. But I also thought it wise to put the situation in perspective. How much did she really want a ball? Would she cherish it for years to come or would she toss it in her toy bin and forget about it? Again, my girl is wiser than her years. She nodded her head understanding my point although she still stood up every inning to try for a ball . Finally, in the 7th, after Hatcher had heard me screaming to give the ball to my daughter a dozen times, he tossed it to her. Unfortunately, her head was down in her Dippin’ Dots. Fortunately, I was paying attention and caught it for her. She smiled and waved at Hatcher. However, an inning later, she was ready to give it to a little boy who started to cry when Hatcher didn’t throw a ball to him. That’s my girl. She wants the thrill of winning something but then she wants to give it away to someone in need.
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We had such a good time throughout the game – I would head back in a second. Little do the kids know how spoiled they were to have such amazing seats. If you would have told me at age 10 that I’d have those seats one day, I would have thought you were nuts.
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After the game, Sarah called to tell us her and mom and Elena were at REI off the highway. Ri begged to go visit with them. Just a week ago, Ri had insisted we keep this as our family vacation only and not allow any others to visit. But Elena trumped Ri’s rule. We dropped Ri off to sit with this precious girl for a few hours…
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Needless to say, she had no desire to return to the hotel. Mario and I got some kick-butt time on the slides when we got back to the Lodge. There was hardly anyone there. We must have went down the slides 10 times. He even got a pass to go on the 48 inches one, which made him happy as a clam. He wanted to try the other 48 inch slide – the HydroPlunge – but the line was forever and he did not have the patience to wait (Ri, on the other hand did, and she and I went on it a few times – she loved hearing me scream). Mario would ask me every time “are you scared mom?” I’d respond yes and he’d smile big because he loved the thought of me being scared and him not.
We picked up Ri at 9 pm (much to her dismay) and came back to play more MagiQuest. Ri hung in there with us this time for a bit longer but decided she could care less about slaying the dragon. Mario, on the other hand, refused to give up. Jon and I were cracking up at his persistence. And also at the slew of kids and parents running around trying to get runes and powers. It was quite surreal.
We ended our last night at the arcade. I have a love/hate relationship with arcades. I loved them as a kid and would be thrilled if I won a stuffed animal or a glow bracelet. That love is still present today as I feel the excitement of M&M when they win. But I hate how quickly you spend $75 to only win a blow up bat, peace ring, and tootsie rolls. Seriously?! I finally got us out of the arcade only to find one of those claw machines in the lobby with an x box In it. Mario had to try to win it. Two teenagers egged him on – “it’s almost ready to fall, you can get it!” Mario was convinced he could do it. I told him no way. But again, that kid comes out in me and I secretly think he has a chance. So we spent $10 trying with no luck. Ri finally had to put the kaboosh on the Xbox game for Mario and me! Thank goodness she has some sense.
We woke up Thursday morning and engaged in one last romp at the water park. We went down the family raft ride and laughed hysterically as we slid up the side walls and got drenched. We played in the wave pool and watched Ri dive like a mermaid and Mario fight the incoming waves. We rooted them on as they crossed the lily pads.

And then we packed up. Grabbed the wolf ears and wands. Stuffed the five foot snake in the duffel. Carefully held the balloon animals. And walked out the door.
“Did you guys have fun?”
“Yes!” they both shouted.
“Did we?” I whispered to
Jon with a smirk on my face.
I knew the answer. Of course we did. How can you not when you have a 6 and 9 year old keeping you laughing. That is not to say that there weren’t some “arghhh” times during the trip (maybe a few more than other trips due to 4 days at a water park) but now that we are home, all we tend to recall are the good times – riding the family raft ride, catching Reds’ baseballs, laughing at the puffer fish, and scaring each other in the house of mirrors. I wouldn’t trade our vacation for anything … but I do believe that a secluded beach is on tap for the next one.
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He will be just fine

July 25, 2014July 25, 2014Leave a comment

I’ve been beating myself up all week.

Right blow.
Left blow.
Uppercut.

Mario experienced his first Boy Scout camp this week. It’s been a bit of a fiasco since we learned three days before camp that an adult needed to be with him at all times during the 8 am to 4 pm camp. Rack on another “crappy parent” notch to our belts since Jon and I could not take the entire week off to attend camp with him. That’s immediately how I looked at the situation. Jon is a little easier on us. His viewpoint is that we are working parents and we can’t do everything with our kids – we have a sitter that can do these things when we can’t. Real simple. I wish I could steal that gene that doesn’t harp on guilt.
But the problem arose that our sitter also has a two year old son who she tends to through the day along with Ri and Mario. Could we really expect her son to be good and stay by her side for 8 hours while she tended to Mario at camp? I spent the weekend trying to figure a way I could take off a day or two and Jon did the same. I also prepped our sitter about what may be in store for her and asked her to see if her parents could watch her son. I also convinced myself that Mario would probably dislike it any way and not want to go after Monday.

He loved it on Monday.

Jon was able to take him Monday morning, get him registered and acclimated and see him through some initial stations. Mario loved having him there. Our sitter arrived around 10:30 am and relieved him. Mario begged Jon to stay. He did not want our sitter’s son to stay (he’s been having a rough time with our sitter’s son all summer – it’s tough to go from being the youngest in the house to the middle child). But they survived until 4 pm. And he told me all the fun he had that night.
“But can you or dad stay all day tomorrow?”
Of course, the last two weeks have been reasonably calm and I could have gone in late to take Mario to camp. But this week was ridiculous with emergency matters left and right. I talked to Jon – who had to leave town at 5:30 pm Tuesday night – to see if he could take him again on Tuesday. He moved mountains but was able to do it. Mario was so happy. Jon stayed with him until lunch time. Our sitter relieved him at noon and that allowed her to only have to balance her son and Mario for four hours. A small victory. I had hoped to go out on Tuesday afternoon but could not break away from the chaos. It ate me up and pissed me off and I swore I’d get there Wednesday.
I pressured our sitter to find someone to watch her son on Wednesday so that she could be alone with Mario and give him complete attention. She was able to do so, which gave me a little sigh of relief. But I couldn’t make it over to the camp on Wednesday either due to the work madness. I didn’t get home until close to 11 pm that night and I stood at the kitchen counter eating ice cream from the package and staring off into space. I was tired and irritated and missing my kiddos. I walked upstairs to find Ri sprawled out on her bed like a teenager. I jumped on her and bear hugged her and kissed her cheeks and she laid as still as a sweet baby doll. I whispered a goodnight to Mario (who was staying with Patty) and went to bed.
Patty, aka our savior, took Mario to camp Thursday and Friday. What a godsend it was to me – to have peace of mind that he would be with her all day. She is close, if not at, the same level as Jon and I in Mario’s eyes. So he was in heaven at the thought of her attending.
But he did call me and ask if I could try to come so that I could watch him doing activities. That’s it, I thought, I gotta get up there if only for an hour. I struggled to get work done and got some help from my colleague in order to take off at 1 pm and head up to see Mario. I made sure to capture the look on his face as he walked up the path to greet me – pure joy and excitement. Damn, it feels good to be loved that intensely. I made it just in time to creek walk with him. Grandma joined, too. We learned about water creatures and clay rocks and crawfish. It was a wonderful time.

Mario held my hand and walked with me. He gave me kisses. He laughed. It was well worth the effort to get out there.
In the end, all my worry and angst was unnecessary. I couldn’t see that in the moment but after a Mama Mimi’s pizza and some UDF ice cream on Friday night, I could see that 15 years from now, whether our sitter went with him or I went with him, he would turn out fine.
I continue to face the fact that I cannot “have it all.” I cannot always be with the kids when I want. I can’t always produce the most stellar work. Life gets in the way. Emergencies arise. Appointments arise.

When I give myself the space to accept that, life looks pretty good.

I work in a fairly flexible job. Some weeks are insane and some are slow. I get a lot of kid time when weeks are slow. Unfortunately, Mario’s Boy Scout camp was during an insane one. But I tried my hardest to take care of Mario by getting my sitter to go without her son, by working with Jon to flex his schedule, by asking Patty to go a couple of days, and by finding the most opportune time to get out and see him myself.

I shouldn’t be beating myself up, I should be hugging myself.

I think in the end, it is the knowledge that you are loved that helps a kid blossom. Mario feels love from all directions – parents, sitters, grandparents. He will be just fine. And I will, too.
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Rocco turns one!

July 24, 2014Leave a comment

Maria has been dying to host a birthday party for Rocco who turned 1 on July 19. We sat at Stauf’s on Sunday and looked at dog party ideas on Pintrest. At one point she found a dog party company that “brings magic shows to dogs in your own home.” She was cracking up at the thought. I swear the girl could be my 40 year old girlfriend with the way she makes fun of these things with me. She’s a nut.

We ended up buying a ton of doggy bakery treats and tennis balls to stuff in doggy bags for Rocco’s guests.
Tuesday was an insane work day. The party was slotted for 7 pm. It ended up that only one other puppy friend could make the party. Poor Rocco had to feel deflated….
Maria and her friend Kathryn worked tirelessly after Girl Scout camp to put together decorations and create party games. I got home right at 7 pm to find a table decorated on the deck with dog treats and streamers. They had a pin the tail on the dog game set up. Precious. Kathryn’s mom arrived with Hannah, a golden doodle pup. Rocco was his clumsy, goofy self hopping on Hannah and sniffing all over her. But she sang happy birthday with us and she made Rocco happy.
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After the pups went to town on dog treats and cupcakes, the humans got to play games and win prizes. Mario won pin the tail on the dog.
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He graciously allowed Elizabeth and I to have the prizes – lotion and nail polish. We then played a guessing game and called it a night. It was 8 pm by that time and I was exhausted after a long work day. Besides, I believe Rocco had been fed a doggy cupcake, three large bones and at least ten other treats by 8 pm and he was starting to look bloated. I should have been prepared for a night up with the pup when I looked at him that moment, but I was too exhausted to notice. I got the kids in the shower and prepared camp lunches. We all hit the sack at 10 pm. At 1 am, I heard Rocco whining. And so it started. Just like when the kids were babies, I was up every hour letting him outside to expel all of the treats from his stomach. I was a zombie when the kids came into my room at 6:20 am, and drank two energy shots to try to look alive through the day. The kids, on the other hand, sprang down stairs and were ready to roll out another day of camp. Even Rocco was running around like a crazy pup by morning time. So, birthday number 1 was a success. Rocco gorged himself. Mario won the games. Maria was very proud. And mom, as tired as I was, loved seeing everyone happy.
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Chill Sunday

July 21, 2014July 21, 2014Leave a comment

Sunday morning Monopoly.

Not Sunday morning run.
Not Sunday morning yoga.
Not Sunday morning gym time.
It is hard for me to sit still. I blame this whole-heartedly on both the Menkedick and Heile sides of the family. My dad never stops. My mom is always walking. My grandmas on both sides worked and played voraciously. My Grandma Heile was mowing the grass in her 80s and my Grandma Menkedick was taking walking tours in hers. And so when I wake up, I’m ready to go go go.
But Sunday morning, I walked down the stairs to find myself being embraced in a full body hug by Mario.
“Let’s wrestle!”
Maria, he and I went at it rolling around the family room and tossing each other from one end to the other. It ended ten minutes later with Ri getting hurt; Mario slammed her earring into the back of her head. She cried for a second and then shot up on her feet and demanded: “let’s play monopoly!”
I hesitated.
It was 9 am and there was a yoga class at 10 am downtown. They rushed around the room trying to find the Monopoly game.
“I found it!” Mario exclaimed as he ran into the kitchen and knocked into Ri. She turned around and hugged him screaming “you are the man, Mario!”
They both turned to me and matter-of-factly said “ok, mom, you are the banker, let’s get started!”
How could I resist those sweet faces?
They are my trainers. They are making me work on chilling the heck out. They will make me plant my butt in the chair and remain seated for longer than two minutes. They will make me see what a gift it is to stay still and be fully present with them.
Mario rolled a ten and landed on a railroad.
“Yes! You will owe me $25 if you land on this railroad.”
Nothing like promoting his love of money by playing a game of Monopoly.
Ri has a bit more strategic thinking in her play – she goes straight after Park Place and Broadway.
After about 20 minutes of playing, it wasn’t me that stood up antsy. Ri and Mario both got up in search of food. We decided on chocolate chip pancakes. I prepared the batter and Ri and I flipped the cakes. Meanwhile, we continued to play the game. While the kiddos may have taught me to chill, they have not taught me to stop multi-tasking!
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My muscle

July 20, 2014July 21, 2014Leave a comment

My girl is a muscle.

When I asked her to help me with the groceries, she grabbed one bag and then demanded that I “load ’em on!” She slung five bags on each arm and started towards the door. She panted it out and nearly made it (I had to take two at the end).
When Ri was in preschool, she was friends with a teeny weeny little girl names Bell. They were nearly the same age but Bell maybe weighed 35 pounds wet. Ri, on the other hand, weighed in around 70. She is, and always has been, thick and strong – just like her daddy. When other kids would mess with Bell, she’d get in between them and protect Bell with all she had. Bell’s parents loved it and when Ri showed up at Bell’s birthday party, Bell’s dad exclaimed “There’s the muscle!”

It has stuck with her ever since for very good reason….

"MOM!"

Adventures in the Life of a Working Mama