“Mom, like you are so totally embarrassing!”

July 9, 2012July 9, 20122 Comments

Everything I do embarrasses my daughter… Everything.

I picked Maria up at a friend’s house on Sunday morning. I ran over to her friend’s house pushing her bike alongside of me so she could bike home. She likes to do that sometimes and sometimes she just wants the car so I took a gamble. I lost.

First, when I walked in the door, she gave me an absolute repulsed look. I was sweaty. Her worst pet peeve. She hates sweat and she jettisons to the other side of the room when I walk in after a run. Second, she flipped out when I told her I brought her bike. Flipped out. She started pointing her finger and demanding I get the car. When I gave her “the eye”, she still continued her tirade. She even continued after I warned her that she’d be punished. I then flipped out and took her into the other room to give her a tongue lashing. She began crying hysterically as I pulled her outside. She stood next to me as I pushed her bike on to the sidewalk and let it all out.

“Mom, I am embarrassed to ride my bike in a dress. It’s so embarrassing. I don’t want to do it.”

My heart ached. I felt sick. My girl is so concerned about things I don’t think twice about. I explained to her that she needed to tell me that she was embarrassed and talk to me about her concerns instead of being sassy and confrontational. I hugged her and let her go inside while I went home and got the car. I chose to do that because I truly believed that she was seriously distraught at the thought of riding a bike in her dress. I could understand that a reasonable person would be distressed about riding in a dress even though I could care less about it. I wanted to respect her feelings but also have her respect her relationship with me.

As I ran home, I held back my tears. I grew sadder and sadder about the incident with Ri. It reminded me of my rough times with my mom when I was a teenager. But I was a teenager! She’s only 7. God help me. I also realized that I was PMS and very emotional so I tried to keep it all in perspective. Jon was a dear and picked Ri up for me. When she came home she ran upstairs and hugged me. We both apologized. I hope we can continue such easy forgiveness in the future.

We met my mom at Ikea early in the afternoon and I told her about my run-in with Maria. I sympathized with how much it must have hurt her to have me act so sassy and rude to her when I was younger (never fails that your behavior comes back to you). Maria heard me and commented “Mom, I was just helping you see how your mom felt.” She is a piece of work. I gave her a nuggie for that one.

This morning I packed her lunch for her first day of horse camp. I wrote “Maria loves horses” on her brown bag and showed it to her.

“Mom, really? That is so embarrassing!”

Yep, I might as well saddle up on the embarrassment front because it’s not going away anytime soon.

Slightly insane but still kickin’ it

June 14, 20121 Comment

Mothers are all slightly insane. – JD Salinger, Catcher in the Rye

And there you have it summed up well. I thought of this quote tonight as I sat with my girlfriend, Amy and her two kids and husband at Jeni’s ice cream parlor. Maria and Mario wanted to see Zach and Grace (Amy’s kids) and we decided to meet at a local ice cream parlor and sit outside. Zach is as wild as Mario so whenever the two of them get together, it tends to be chaotic. Gracie and Maria do their own thing – typically not together since there is a two-year difference – but they are cool with just hanging out in their own separate hemispheres.

When we got to Jeni’s, Amy and her hubby already had a table. Zach came running up to me and rammed into my side. Mario jumped on him and fake-punched him in the back. Maria climbed on Mario. Gracie watched. Let the chaos begin. A friend with a daughter in Maria’s class was in front of me in line for ice cream.  She began to make small-talk with me about what teacher Maria had next year while Mario was dodging in and out of the stools with Zach. This is how the conversation ensued:

Her: “So, who does Maria have this year?”

Me: “She has, ugh…Mario, get off the floor and stand over here now! She has Ms. Palmer – is she any (evil eye to Mario) good?”

Her: “I hear she is just awesome. Did Maria like her first grade teacher?”

Me: “Yeah, she… Mario, stand still now; do not move another inch or no ice cream! Yes, she really liked her – Maria, watch out for the wandering baby! – first grade teacher.”

And so it went for another five minutes as my friend waited in line without any children in tow surely thanking the heavens for a night with no interruptions.  When I went to sit down, it started all over again. Amy and I would get a question and half an answer out before interrupting one or the other with a command to one of the children. But somehow we were able to pick up where we left off in the conversation – even if it was right in mid-sentence – and complete our thoughts. Mothers may be slightly insane but we can multi-task with the best of them and walk away from a get-together having got caught up on each others’ lives and kept the children from disaster!

Our Prizefighter Girl

June 14, 2012June 14, 2012Leave a comment

“My tooth is out!” she screeched from our bed
Jon and I ran to our room and
to our delight
She was not teasing this time
that stubborn front tooth
had finally decided to part ways
with Ri’s bright red gums.

She held it tightly
in her bloodied white tissue and
ran downstairs to call her grandmas
“My tooth fell out” we heard
over and over from below
She bursted back into our room
with that toothless grin
and I wrapped her in my arms
not wanting to let go
not wanting to find another tooth gone.

But alas, all times must end
To bring new adventures…
Nonetheless, I will stare at that
lovely little mouth
for as long as I am able
and share in Ri’s excitement when the
next baby white tooth
Falls out.

One Lovely Blog Award

June 13, 2012June 13, 20124 Comments

I began blogging to keep a history of the times (good and bad) with my two children, Maria and Mario. I began a diary when my first child, Maria, was born. I wrote in it nearly every day for a year and a half and then fairly frequently after that time until my second child was born, Mario. Then I fell into the insanity of newborn land with no sleep and lots of feeding – poopy diapers – feeding – poopy diapers. The diary ceased production. However, the times we had with the kids were better than ever and the things coming out of Maria’s and Mario’s mouths were too good not to document. There were some rough times, too, and the blog provided an outlet for me to vent (when my hubby was tired of listening!).

I bring up my reason for writing this blog because I am very humbled to have been nominated for the One Lovely Blog Award by an incredible blogger, Patty. I did not imagine my blog being noticed by fellow bloggers, and I appreciate Patty’s shout out to me. Patty is a mom who heads up the blog Discover and Devour. Patty writes about the trials and tribulations with her son who is fairly new to this world – born in 2011. She focuses on child development, particularly literacy and language. She has great book reviews and information on literacy. Check her out!

The Rules of Acceptance:

Thank the person/people who nominated you and link back to them in your post.
Share seven possibly unknown things about yourself.
Nominate fifteen or so bloggers you admire.
Contact the chosen bloggers to let them know and link back to them

Seven Things You May Not Know About Me:
1. I could not get enough of the Brady Bunch when I was little and would sob if I missed one episode.

2. I am addicted to running and listening to NPR.

3. I bike to work in a dress and gym shoes.

4. I adore UDF chocolate chip peanut butter ice cream with hot fudge topping, whipped cream and a cherry on top.

5. I could listen to Michael Jackson songs all day long (especially Off The Wall songs).

6. I love to see people smile.

7. I would love to meet Shirley MacLaine but may faint before I actually got to speak to her!

I nominate the following bloggers for the One Lovely Blog Award:

KeepMoving4wd

Ms. Jolly Blogger

Finding Red Fern

The Ordinary Adventures of Javier Antonio

Motherhood = Absurdity

May 13, 2012May 13, 2012Leave a comment

“To write well in the mother-child arena, a person must understand that the essential condition of motherhood isn’t pleasure or wonderment or even terror — although there’s plenty of that. The essential condition is absurdity.”

I love this quote by Judith Newman of the New York Times writing about Anne Enright’s new book Making Babies. How true of an insight. Newman opines on why writing about children is tough: because 95% of child rearing is incredibly boring. It’s only the 5% of pure, raw joy that keeps us going. It’s easy to understand that 5% as mothers but what about the 95%? Newman questions “How did I survive spending most of 2004, the year my twin sons were 3, in front of a tank of sea lions? What got me through the years when the only way to persuade one son to brush his teeth was to hum the theme song to “The Pink Panther”?

I love her questions because she is being so real.

How many times do I need to wrestle Mario before he gets tired out? What gets me through playing baby with Maria every night? Why is it that the only way to get them upstairs to change in their pjs every night is to chase them like I am a big, kid-eating monster? How do I always fall into the trap of reading three extra books when I made it clear that I would only read one before bed? What am I thinking when I agree to let M&M help me make chocolate chip pancakes and eggs and powdered chocolate milk (can we say “complete mess”)?

I go back to the quote above… the essential condition of motherhood is absurdity. I look at all of these crazy antics I engage in and all of the hoops I climb through for these munchos, and I realize, yes, it is absurd. It is completely nuts. Insane. And I would never have dreamed of doing one-fourth of it when I was single and 25 years old. But would I change a bit of it now? Not a chance.

Spending Mom’s day with the kids

May 12, 20121 Comment

Mother’s Day begins two hours from now. Jon asked me what I wanted to do on my special day. In the initial moment, I thought “all I want is a day to myself.” Just head north to your mom’s house or east to your cousin’s house and let me have the day to do whatever I want whenver I want.

But after a few seconds of mulling the question over, I realized what would happen if they did leave. I would love the first couple of hours by myself and then I would be up at Stauf’s and see a couple with their baby and think of my pumpkins. I would miss them and Jon and wish they were home with me even if it would require me to listen to them beg for me to play with them or read them a book or take them to the library. Surely there would be moments during the day when I would second guess my decision and want my solitude but they would be outweighed by the joy in being with my family. After all, could I laugh as hard as I do when Maria performs her “Oh, I know you didn’t” routine? Or when Mario dances to a rap song? Could I appreciate the richness of the soil without digging into it with Mario? Could I enjoy watching a monarch butterfly fluttering around the flowers without listening to Maria talk about its delicate wings?

No, these little pumpkins are such a big part of my world now and being without them on Mom’s Day just feels wrong. After all, the reason I am celebrating this day is because of these two munch-balls. So, as the clock inches towards midnight, I think about our day tomorrow – play fish, throw the tennis ball, take a bike ride and get a ton of kisses and hugs from those sweet babes of mine all day long….

Cheering in the Bleachers

April 19, 2012Leave a comment

Maria wanted to ride her bike tonight. I was so tired and had not eaten dinner yet but I agreed to a bike ride because (1) it’s good exercise for her and (2) it gives us some time together after a long day at school and work. Mario ended up meeting us at the park (Jon dropped him off because he was so upset that Maria and I had left without him). The two of them bee-lined straight for the spruce tree with the awesome climbing branches. Maria climbed up to nearly the top of the tree like a little monkey and Mario stared in amazement. He got up the guts to climb up a few branches.

While they sat on their branches, a group of boys ran over and shouted to each other about how cool it was that Maria and Mario were up in the tree. One little boy started to climb up the tree when I heard his mom yell “Charlie, get down from there right now!” The mom glanced over at me and shook her head in disbelief. I could hear what was going through her head “what kind of mother would let her kids climb a tree and risk them getting hurt.” When they finally had enough of the tree, we ran over to the swings. I saw a mom I knew from Mario’s preschool. She had her grapes and strawberries packaged up for her two kids. I told her I was starving, and she offered me some. I declined telling her that I thought we may hit Orange Leaf frozen yogurt for dinner in a bit. “Frozen yogurt for dinner?” she questioned, amazed. “Yep, with oreos and animal crackers – nothing better”, I responded. Again, I could hear the bells going off in her head and the desire to cart me away to bad parents’ camp.

So, when I got home tonight and found Harley Rotbart’s piece, Just Parent, No Philosophy Required, I took a deep breath and patted myself on the back. We all have different parenting styles. I am not going to shake my head at the mom who refuses to allow her kids to climb trees because maybe she had an awful experience of falling when she was little or witnessed another child have an awful experience or maybe she just gets anxious about it and doesn’t want to be sick to her stomach as they climb. Who knows why she is prohibiting it but at least she is at the park with them allowing them fresh air and swings and slides. And I am not going to poo-poo the fruit mom who refuses to put one unnatural food in her childrens’ bodies. Maybe she had a parent die from cancer or maybe she is a dietician (my mom used to be a dietician but I think I rebelled completely). I am trying so hard to not judge people – even when they may be judging me until the cows come home. Because in the end, all three of us moms tonight were there for our kids in the park – in the metaphorical bleachers cheering them on – and that is all that matters.

"MOM!"

Adventures in the Life of a Working Mama

Tag: Motherhood