Hamburger helper fix

September 11, 2012September 11, 2012Leave a comment

Yesterday Jon and I came home from work to two wild, spazo kids. Maria and Mario were both hyped up – Maria from her first Brownies meeting and Mario because David picked him up early during nap. Maria screamed every word she said in pure excitement; Mario zipped from one room to the next like a pinball. Ahh, nothing like relaxing after a long day at work. But they do keep us going….

I made Maria’s new favorite dish, hamburger helper (at least I used 98% lean meat)! While eating, we discussed Maria’s laws as a new Brownie. As part of her homework, she had to write down which law applied best to her family. She chose “respecting each other’s words” over courage and helpfulness and kindness, among other laws. She picked it, she said, because she thinks it’s important for us to always listen to one another. I loved that.

Of course, Mario chimed in at the tail end of her explanation to stand up on his chair and make some funny face. He then told us how eight girls had crushes on him. One in particular, Viv, told him she thought he was cute because of his tan. There’s that tan reference again! In order to get him off the girl fixation, I asked him what he loves about his family since that was Maria’s next project.

He said he loved his mom because “1. she feeds me food; 2. she tells me she loves me; 3. she respects what I say; and 4. she reads me books.” Not too bad, I thought. He then leaned to Jon and said “and so does my dad!”

Maria was a lot less generous. She only had to write one thing she loved so she wrote that she loved my cooking (because of the hamburger helper that night!) and Jon’s ability to fix things.

Speaking of fixing things, later that evening Jon and I found a worksheet she prepared where she had to answer a question asking “when a person is sad, I BLANK.” She wrote in “I try to fix it.” I about fell over. For years, I have talked about the difference between Jon and I when it comes to approaching someone’s problems. I react by consoling the person and listening to them. Jon reacts completely opposite. He immediately gets the wheels turning in his head to try to fix the person’s problem. When I saw Maria’s answer, it affirmed yet again another personality trait she has inherited from Jon. Daddy’s girl.

After dinner, Maria wrote and decorated her Brownie star with what we discussed that evening and Mario wrote letters I randomly quizzed him on (he’s getting much better – yea!).

They both sat still for an entire half hour (must have been the carb overload in the hamburger helper!).

Happy 5th Birthday, Mario!

September 4, 2012September 5, 20122 Comments

Dearest Mario Bo Bario:

How are you five years old already? How did I turn my back for what seems like 2 seconds on my seven pound, 19 inches smiling black-haired baby boy and find a wild, vibrant, insane toe-head five-year-old son?

You entered this world in a flash. My water had barely broke when I started to feel heavy contractions. And then, 15 minutes later, there you were squirming all around and wailing for your mama. You seemed so tiny to us although you were the same size as Maria when she was born. Maybe it’s because Maria was almost 2 and a half when you were born and nearly 40 pounds so any newborn would pale in comparison! You came home to a room decorated with safari animals. It was the smallest room in our house. We could not even fit a rocking chair in it to rock you. So your sister was kind enough to let us rock you in her room. She loved that predicament, actually, because she got to have me and dad in her room while she fell asleep since it took us quite some time to get you to sleep every night. And then when we thought we had you to sleep, you would pop up in your crib and hold out your arms and cry. Neither dad nor I could walk away. And so there we were back in the rocking chair again.

You smiled ten times more than your sister smiled as a baby. You loved to play on your green safari blanket filled with mirrors and lights. You always wanted someone right by your side when you were on it; if someone was there, you had a blast. If someone left your side, you cried hysterically until they came back in the room.

You are like your mama – extreme. You either smile like a mad man or cry your eyes out. All or nothing. Either incredibly happy or completely pissed.

When you are in the mood, you crack people up with your antics. Whether it’s singing the “Call of the Wildman”, yelling “hey hot ladies” out the car window, grooving to “I’m Sexy and I Know It”, or making funny gestures at the dinner table, you get everyone laughing. How many nights have I come home from a rough workday only to find myself in a better mood after sitting with you for five minutes? You bring out the fun of life – the silliness and absurdity that it entails. Dad and I need that.

So, what highlights can we review from your fourth year of life?

1. You learned how to do a mean cannonball off the low dive.

2. You played on your first baseball team.

3. You got to experience the ocean.
4. You probably ate your weight in donuts!

5. You slept in a tent with Robert.
6. You rode a roller coaster at Kings Island.
7. You caught a catfish at Uncle Mario’s and Aunt Vicki’s house.
8. You went to the dentist for the first time (and had a cavity!).

9. You put on your first play, Abiyoyo, at your school.
10. You played your first round of putt-putt and wanted to win (imagine that?).

11. You learned how to skip a rock in the river (thanks Peepaw).
12. You got to go to a zombie walk at Halloween (thanks Grandma Ionno).
13. You got to find golf balls on the golf course (thanks Grandma Lolo).
14. You got to ride a horse (thanks Mama Meg).

15. You got to give Grandma Menkedick a kiss and hold her hand before she passed away at age 92. You also spoke kind words about her at her funeral (what a brave boy).
16. You fell in love with the Wild Kratts and Ben Ten.
17. You learned to swim like a fish!
18. You visited Pittsburgh.

19. You took your first plane trip.

20. You pet an alligator!

21. You climbed a sand dune.

22. You helped mom in the garden.
23. You learned to dj!
24. You ruled the dance floor at a wedding reception!

25. You rode in a boat!

;

So there you have it, little man. Or, I guess I need to start saying “big man” since you are now five years old. Go a bit slower this year, will you? I want to savor five as long as possible…. We love you.

Stay away from lunch notes, moms!

August 27, 2012August 27, 2012Leave a comment

Maria hates when I write her name on a lunch bag; hence why she bought a lunch tote that I couldn’t write on everyday. I stuck a sweet note about how much we loved her in her tote one day and she never acknowledged it. After this Onion article, I will cease and desist such awful behavior (even though my “Muscle” would never tolerate such behavior towards herself or anyone else!).

Ok, ok, go ahead

July 29, 2012July 29, 2012Leave a comment

I came across this cartoon today and had to laugh at its relevancy to my world with M&M.

I find myself way too often giving into the little people in order to avoid adversity or downright tantrums. I know, I know, I can hear my dad, Laura, Maggie and many others scolding me for not standing my ground and giving into the kids, but my god, after a long week at work, I just want some peace. And really, is it gonna kill them to eat one more Oreo or play one more game on Wii?!

Blogging and living!

July 28, 2012July 28, 20121 Comment

I had to post this clip for all my fellow mama and papa bloggers! Who would not agree that blogging about raising kids is much more important than actually raising the kids?! Ha.

Actually, a main reason for my blogging is to help Jon and I remember what we did with the kids all these years. Maria loves to ask about what things she did when she was little and I can barely remember anything but the big events even though I know we did a ton (I will continue to blame my forgetfulness on too many things in my head between work and kids and house and family but I secretly get nervous about early dementia – I need to do more crossword puzzles).

So, here’s to mama’s and papa’s blogging about their kids’ adventures but also taking the time to actually experience those adventures with them. Happy Saturday!

Vacationing with sand dunes and Michigan cherries

July 27, 2012July 27, 20121 Comment

We just arrived home from our 6 day, 5 night trip to Traverse City, Michigan. All of us packed in the truck with lots of snacks, water, movies, and “when will we be there” questions. We stayed at the Grand Traverse Resort and Spa, which I found on-line after researching furiously two weeks ago when we decided we’d go on a vacation last week. Nothing like waiting until the last-minute. The website for the Resort promised to be loads of fun for the family with two indoor pools and two outdoor pools, a private beach, and two queen size beds (a must after trying to fit the four of us in two full-size beds in Florida – we have become too accustomed to a king size bed and we have to deal with two sleep thrashers). Jon and I debated staying in a cabin on the lake like I used to when I was a kid but we worried about Mario complaining that he was cold in the lake and us being plain out of luck for the week.

We figured we’d have the best of both worlds like we did in Florida – we could go to the beach and the pool. And we were hoping that Mario might like the lake more than the ocean since he hated the salt water in the ocean. When we got to the Resort, the kids were ready to explode. Seven hours in the car (with a pit stop at Cabella’s to check out the stuffed animals – Maria and Mario reacted appropriately to the stuffed skunk) and they were ready to let out some energy. We immediately headed to the indoor pool, which did not disappoint the kids. It had an enclosed slide and a rope climb where the kids could step on four plastic animals floating in the water and hold on to the rope above to try to cross to the other side. Maria loved them both. She slid down the slide with no fear while I had a mini-heart attack on my first slide down because it was so narrow and dark. On the rope climb, she used her brute strength to grip onto the ropes above her and move her legs from animal to animal. When she fell, she laughed and tried again until she made it. Mario was too scared to try the slide so he stayed with the rope. But he was too short to reach the rope so he just jumped from animal to animal sometimes with his chest hitting the side of the animal when he jumped. It didn’t bother him because he was too determined to reach the other side.

After the pool, we hit the Traverse City strip to find some dinner. I got my wish come true when we spotted a Ponderosa along the road. Jon must truly love me because he stopped. We have not eaten at a Ponderosa for years – and for good reason. Jon got deathly ill when we went to a buffet during law school and he has refused them ever since that time. But he saw the stars in my eyes when I saw the sign, and agreed to it. His face was hilarious while we ate. He looked like he was in true pain. But he took a few bites and hung in there with me while I danced around the buffet bar with Ri oohhing and ahhing over all of the selections (of course my girl loved it!).

The next four days were a welcome departure from “reality.” The reality of work and deadlines and library book returns. Our first destination was the Pierce Stocking Scenic Drive. It took me back to my trips as a kid – absolutely gorgeous. The kids loved the last stop – a view of Lake Michigan and a steep sand dune. They immediately began running down the dune, which drops suddenly straight down to Lake Michigan. I told them to go about an eighth of the way down and if they could easily get back up, they could go all the way down. It took us 20 minutes to climb back up. They were spent and had no desire to head all the way down after that climb up. We hit another dune on our way to Platte River – the dune I remember climbing as a kid. Maria got about 20 feet up the dune and said “forget it.” Her feet hurt from the hot sand and she was tired from the preceding climb. Mario saw me head up the hill and did not want to give up. But when I wouldn’t hold him any longer, he asked if we could just climb a little further and then run down together. I agreed (as much as I wanted to climb the whole thing!) and we ran down together holding hands and laughing.

We drove to the Platte River and played all day long in its warm waters while occasionally dipping our toes in the cold waters of Lake Michigan. Platte River was everything I remembered. Clear and calm and warm. And it contained the most gorgeous rocks. I could have planted myself in the shallow water all day long and looked at rocks. Maria practically did that. She knows how much I love them and every chance she gets to find good ones for me, she takes it. This time was no different. She dove under water incessantly until she found just the right rocks for me. Then she’d walk them over to me and describe why each one was special. She is a dear. Mario fought off the current in the river for a long time but then he finally decided to join Maria in finding rocks for me. He would approach me with one or two and make it a production: “Mom, I found this rock for you and I think you will love it. Close your eyes.” And then I would look at him and express my love for it and he would smile in pride and say “wasn’t that a cool rock, mom?!”

Another day, we took a boat ride on the Bay. The water was choppy but Jon did an excellent job not capsizing us. Our daredevil girl begged Jon to go faster. She loved the thrill of bouncing up and down in the water and the sprays of water in her face. She did not want me to hold on to her when she sat up front. Mario and I meanwhile, were ready for the boat to go back to the dock after a half of an hour. He did fine at first but the poor guy started to turn green towards the end. Nevertheless, he continued to sport a smile through it and have a good time. He did not want to ruin everyone’s fun. We rented a water trampoline and slide afterwards, and that was a lot of fun. Our daredevil Maria loved sliding down the slide head first. She would beg Jon and I to get the slide more wet so it would go faster. If you swam under the trampoline, you could stand above the water and breathe. The kids loved swimming under it and waiting for Jon to scare them when he quickly swam under and grabbed at their legs. We joked that we paid $60 for the kids to play under the trampoline.

In the evening, we were able to watch the sun set from our hotel room. One evening, the sun was brilliantly red and I told Maria and Mario that if we held hands and made a wish before the sun set, it would come true. We all stood together holding hands and making our wishes. When we finished, the sun was almost set. All of a sudden, the kids realized dad was not in on our wish-fest and they yelled “DAD, you have to make a wish, too. HURRY!” Jon, who had been in the bathroom, ran out, grabbed our hands, and we all made a wish again. Then we continued to hold hands and stand in awe as the sun disappeared from the horizon. What a great way to end the evening.

The last day of the trip was overcast so we drove to some fishing towns and watched mama river otters feeding raw fish to their babies on the shore. The kids scored a couple more stuffed animals from a fishing trinket store and got to slide down an old metal slide liked I used to slide down as a kid. We ended our driving adventure in Glen Arbor for some yummy cherry pie. I could eat that pie every day and night. On our way back to the hotel, we stopped at putt-putt golf for one last putt-putt game – we had already played three games earlier in the trip. I had won two of them, Jon had slammed me on one of them and we had this one to determine the champion. And we ended up in a tie. Maria, our anti-competitive girl, was very happy.

We played some ping-pong, too in the indoor pool area. It took Jon and I back to our honeymoon in Alaska where we played ping-pong along the Kenai River. We had some good volleys back and forth and again, tied winning one game each. Maria and Mario weren’t too bad at volleying. Mario liked to hit the ball high up in the air for everyone to admire and Maria liked to avoid any hit that would attract attention – complete opposites they are. This vacation definitely reinforced their different demeanors.

Mario: When we were at the market, Mario asked a woman at the checkout line if she could grab a 5 hour energy drink for him to give to his mom. She looked at him suspiciously. I walked by when he asked her a second time and she looked over at me. I whispered to her that he was just trying to get the 5 hour drink for me. He heard me and went ballistic. “Mom! I wanted to surprise you with one of those! Now you ruined it!” He cried and pulled his body away from me when I tried to hold him. I had to kneel next to him and tell him how awesome he was for thinking of me before he talked to me again.

He gets so upset when things do not go his way, and holds a serious grudge. He seems to get angry in two instances: 1. he doesn’t get something he wants, be it the computer or a toy or 2. he wants to do something for you and you “ruin it” by finding out about it early or not reacting happily enough. I was telling Patty that he has two modes lately: super-duper sweet and endearing or angry and pouty. Lucky for us, his super-duper sweet and endearing side trumps the angry and pouty. At the hotel in Michigan, he bought two chocolate hearts to eat for a late-night snack. As he opened one up, he walked over to me and said “mom, this reminds me of you.” He pointed down to the red aluminum foil to an indentation of a heart. Yeah, those little moments make up for the other ones. And the other ones are fierce but short. If you tickle him or tease him, he typically turns off his grudge and laughs and gives you a hug. It’s pretty simple with him – he craves attention and recognition. We constantly get questions from him about who we love more – him or Ria. Or who we think is cuter – him or Ria. When Maria does something and we laugh, he tries to do something funnier. I think it’s his age but I also think it is who he is. He loves to entertain people and make them laugh. He also has no qualms about approaching people. When we were at the outdoor pool, he walked up to a couple in the hot tub and asked how the water felt. He told them his name and where he was from and how old he would be in September. All this without them even asking! When we went to the lake, he walked up to a boy who looked about his age and said “do you want to play with me?” He is not scared to take a chance on getting a “no” response. Complete opposite of our girl.

Maria: And then there is Ri. She would never approach someone and ask them to play with her, and during this trip, she actually steered far clear from anyone that approached her to play with her. Two little girls jumped in the pool and tried to talk to her and Maria swam over to me and told me that she did not want to play with them. Then she told the girls the same. My girl likes her space. But if she sees girls that look like they may be fun to play with, she will stand to the side and wait to see if they ask her to play. She did that with girls on the rope climb, and they eventually asked her to play and she really enjoyed her time with them.

Maria is a total daredevil and a lover of life. She is self-deprecating and real. And she cares about how people feel. When we went to putt-putt, Mario would shoot a hole in one and Maria, who is not the best at putt-putt, would say “I’m certainly not going to get a hole-in-one; I might get a hole-in-six!” When we rented the water trampoline, Maria walked up the ladder, jumped high on the trampoline, and slid down head first without hesitation. When we went out to eat, she ordered BIG and loved to head back to the hotel candy shop for late night sundaes. She took care of her little brother during the trip. When Mario got upset because he wanted to play on my phone, Maria pled his case for him arguing that he had not played with it for the entire trip and he had been a good boy all day long. She treated Mario like her baby – ordering his food (when he let her), letting him go first in line, letting him push the buttons in the elevator, and giving him more superballs then she got.

Vacations are a necessary component to our lives. It gave Jon and I a chance to breathe and let go of all of the deadlines and worries we have with our jobs. We were able to concentrate fully and completely on ourselves and the kids for 7 days. We know Maria and Mario up and down and side to side but this vacation reinforced in us how wonderfully diverse they both are and how many incredible qualities they both exhibit. And I believe the trip reinforced for M&M how much Jon and I love them and want them to experience great things. On the ride home, we stopped at a rest stop to go to the bathroom. We all hopped back in the car to continue our trip and I looked back at the kids to make sure they had their seat belts on. Then I looked over at Jon as he pulled out onto the highway. I closed my eyes and gave thanks for the time alone with them. When I opened my eyes, Jon verbalized my thoughts saying “I had a great time with you guys on this trip. I love you.” The kids responded “Love you, too” as they watched the final episode of Scooby Doo.

Spoiled rotten and more

July 18, 2012July 18, 20123 Comments

I have spoiled the kids way too much. I tend to throw Jon under the bus with me and tell him that he is a culprit, too, but he is not half as bad as me.

This realization has been out there for a while but continues to get pounded in me at times like this afternoon when Maria called me. She sweetly said “hi mommy, how are you?” when I answered the phone. Then she plunged right into her question.

“Mom, can I skip reading today?”

“No, Maria, you have not read all week. You only have to read for 30 minutes and then you are done.”

“But mom, I will do it tonight. I promise.”

“No, Ri. We say that and then something comes up. Just do it now.”

“Mom, please, later.”

“No, Ri. Now. Love you. Bye.”

One minute later – text from David: “Maria is throwing a fit because she doesn’t want to read.”

I call her back. I tell her she cannot act this way. She bawls.

Seriously, over a book? Over 30 minutes where she has to do something we are imposing on her? Give me a break. She engaged in this same behavior over my demand that she clean her room and the basement after her friend and her destroyed them both.

To her credit, she has succeeded in getting her way in the past via this behavior. But it’s a new day for mama. I need to follow through and make her appreciate the sense of accomplishment in following through on a task and having a clean room.

The New Yorker article earlier this month was awakening for me. I was embarrassed as I read it because I fit the mold of a few of the LA parents referenced in it. I do not want spoiled kids. I do not want lazy kids. I do want appreciative kids. I do want driven kids.

I have resolved to wake up every morning to hand-written notes on my mirror that say things like “Let them learn by making them do things – you stay back!” and “Once you say no, stick with it!” and “Set a chore for the day that they have to do.”

I could probably make the notes up real pretty and sell them to a lot of LA moms and dads.

They don’t look spoiled, do they?!

Dad and horses

July 11, 2012Leave a comment

Jon came through for Maria tonight. Maria gets to participate in “crazy hat” day tomorrow at horse camp and she has been fretting about not having a crazy hat. I had hoped to get to the store today to find something for her or come home from work and help her make something but neither happened since I got stuck in negotiations all day and night. Jon found a camouflage hat and thought maybe she would think it was “crazy” enough. I knew better. Sure enough, she dismissed it within seconds. Jon and I went downstairs to try to find something else. I gave up after two minutes but he stayed down there.

About ten minutes later, he sauntered up the stairs. He was holding the hat and a stuffed animal horse. I didn’t put the two together. He walked over to Maria and told her he had an idea for a hat. He put the horse on top of the hat and tied the string on top of the horse’s back to secure it. He put the hat on her head. It was perfect… and Maria loved it. She gave Jon a huge hug and ran to look at it in the mirror. She even avoided a fuss when I took her picture.

Problem solving is one of Jon’s finer traits. You have no clue that he is even contemplating the problem but then he comes up with a solution out of the blue when you have either resolved that it won’t be fixed or you are continuing to come up with a way to fix it. There are times that we are sitting around after talking about some issue I had during the day and he mentions a way to solve the issue while I am on another completely different topic. His brain constantly churns until he finds a way to help out the people he loves. And I love him dearly for that. And Maria surely does, too.

Using our words

July 11, 2012July 11, 20121 Comment

My girl is loving horse camp this week. She had Hawaiian day today, and dressed herself so cute. She used those dollar store purchases well between the leis, flower barrettes, and grass skirt.

Not only did she look adorable but she also remembered our word of the day from Monday when she said to me after my morning run “I admonish you to stop sweating so much!” I have been trying to teach them a different word each day and Monday was “admonish.” Mario used the word in a sentence stating to Jon “I admonish you to stop watching tv.” I sweat too much and Jon watches too much tv. Lovely.

Yesterday, we learned “beguile.” Mario and Maria told me they had to go to the basement to get a stuffed animal when I asked them to clean up. When they came back up, they had no stuffed animals. They looked at me and said “we beguiled you!” Real cute as I had already cleared away the dishes.

I think we will study the word “conniving” tonight.

Quindlen comes through

July 10, 2012July 10, 20121 Comment

I love Anna Quindlen. Her piece on motherhood calms me when I start to fret about whether I am doing everything right with M&M. Last night I felt like mom of the year when I cooked pancakes and eggs with the kids, read them three books and played Go Fish with them. This morning I felt like the worst mama ever when I yelled at Mario for taking too long to put on his shoes and chided Maria for not brushing her hair.
Quindlen reminds me to remember that no one can tell me how to be the best mom or raise the best kids – I just gotta go with my gut and know that I’m doing my best. Motherhood challenges me to raise my game a notch – its harder than any job I have ever worked… but undoubtedly the most fulfilling.

"MOM!"

Adventures in the Life of a Working Mama

Tag: Parenting