A+ Confident

Mario has been hearing us get on Maria about having to do her homework for the last eight months.  He usually sits in the other room playing his Ben Ten game or watching a show or jumping off the couch onto the chair and vice versa.  I have tried on numerous occasions to try to get him to read a book or draw while Maria is working on her homework.  He has always had no desire. 

He sees Maria get frustrated at times.  She is now at the stage of reading chapter books.  Some of the books are so incredibly boring that she brings home that I can totally understand why she detests having to read them.  Mix that with the fact that they have harder words in them so she can’t just fly through them like she used to do, and it is even more frustrating.  The other night I was making dinner and she was reading one of the chapter books.  She had to read eight pages and she had cried about that fact for an entire ten minutes before she finally plunged into it.  She wanted to read to herself so I let her.  Within a minute, I looked behind her and saw that she had flipped through to the sixth page already.  Each page was filled with words.  There was no way she had read all of them in a minute.  I looked at her.  She looked at me.  I crinkled my face at her.  She crinkled hers back at me.  I asked her if she read all six pages.  She said yes. I asked her if she read every word in those six pages.  She said yes but a little softer this time.  She glanced up at me after saying “yes” and then said “Ok, I didn’t read them all.”  At least she told the truth.  Mario watched the entire exchange, and threw in his comments at the end.  

“Maria, you have to do all of your homework.”

Maria rightfully flicked his arm. 

Mario working awayI think Mario used to enjoy watching Maria get flustered and enjoy the fact that he did not have to engage in this nightly exercise of homework.  But last night, he embraced the idea of homework.  Maria was taking a shower and something hit me to tell him that his school sent homework home for him to do just like Maria’s school does for her.  He totally bought into it.  I brought over one of Maria’s old kindergarten workbooks.  We started with an area that he is really good at – sequencing.  He looked at three pictures of a boy and he had to determine which action went first, second and third.  He got them all right.  I gave him a high-five and wrote “A+” on the top of the page.  From there, it was all over.  His head was the size of Jupiter.  I flipped over another page and had him work on the next exercise.  He got it right.  He wrote his own “A+” on the top of the page.  When he got to a page where you had to circle the objects that had a certain vowel in them (e.g., find the “a” words in ball, cow, and ape), he had no clue.  But when I tried to explain it to him, and point him in the right direction, he got so angry. 

“I know how to do it, Mom!” 

When he circled all of them, I let it go and moved onto the next page.  However, Maria was not so generous.  She had to take the opportunity to point out to Mario that he did not get the answers right. 

“Mario, you circled them all and that is not right. You have to try again.”

Mario’s response: flick her in the ear. 

He ended up finishing the entire workbook because he refused to stop until all of the pages were completed – right or wrong.  Maria left the room after the flicking, and cuddled with her dad on the couch.  I remained at the table with Mario watching him proudly circle the answers he believed correct and then watching him mark an “A+” a top every page of the book.  He certainly does not lack confidence.

Grateful you were first

Maria ran her first lemonade stand with three friends today.  She loved it.  She sat at the table with bags of popcorn for 25 cents and solo cups of lemonade for 10 cents.  The two boys ran out to the curb when they saw a car coming down the street and yelled “Lemonade for sale!”  Maria and the other girl at the stand, Nora, sat back and watched the boys.  All of the kids are in first grade but none of them are in Maria’s class.  I had asked one of the boys’ mom, Tess, to pick up Maria from school for me because I was stuck in Obama traffic at the university (Obama spoke at OSU today!).  Tess and I used to live three doors away from each other.  She is always there in times of need, which are not often but absolutely a godsend when they do occur. 

Mario idolized Tess’ son, Blake because Blake loves to play any sport.  Mario would see him in his front yard playing soccer and beg to go play with him.  Maria and Blake got along well when they were younger but as they have grown older, they have very little in common.  They weren’t in kindergarten or first grade together so there was even less interaction.   Maria did not know the other boy at the stand at all except seeing him in the cafeteria at school.  Maria is in girl scouts with Nora but they don’t interact much, either.   So when Tess texted me to tell me they were heading over to this lemonade stand, I wondered how Maria would do. 

Our happy girlWhen I showed up, she was beaming with the other kids.  She begged not to leave.  She ran around with all of them even though it was obvious that the three of them hung out a lot, and Maria was a “fourth wheel.” But she didn’t care a bit.  At one point, they all got popsicles and forgot about her.  She didn’t freak out, cry, throw a fit.  She just let Tess ask one of the boys if he could get her a popsicle and a few minutes later, he did.  She accepted it and ate with all of them, not holding any grudge.  I am amazed at how much she just goes with the flow in those situations.  Maybe it’s just a function of being young – you have less judgments about yourself, less hold-ups.  But I have noticed other kids her age who would not have been as comfortable as Maria around this crew so I do appreciate her ability to roll with it and have a good time doing it. 

And while I appreciate that trait in her, I do not appreciate her sarcastic mouth that seems to creep up more and more.  The other night I was talking to neighbors and she stood next to me.  Every time I told her to do something, she gave me some smart as- response back.  I pulled her aside when I finished with the neighbor and told her how much I disliked that talk.  Part of it is that she tries to be funny because that is how Jon and I can be funny so I can’t totally be appalled at her behavior but she has to know when she is going overboard and stop.  We don’t need Mario following in her footsteps since that seems to be his mojo lately.  Maria was on a kick where she would cry “I am a bad daughter!” every time we scolded her for a poor choice and Mario now does the same every time he gets scolded (at least he is smart enough to say “son”).  

Maria watching over her broAll in all, however, I really couldn’t ask for a better role model for Mario.  I still have an email that my dad wrote me when I was starting out in the practice of law.  In it, he wrote how proud he was of me for how much I had accomplished and how much I cared for my brother and sister.  He ended the note by telling me how glad he was that I was the first child.  I think I may be writing something very similar to Maria someday in the future.

Mario Returns

Mario returned home from Grandma and Grandpa Ionno’s house this evening.  He wasn’t in the door for ten minutes before he asked them to go back to their house.  I have no doubt that he would be just fine visiting us every other weekend and living day in and day out with Patty and Joe. 

He hid from me when I got home from work and only when I faked crying for two minutes did he come out from his hiding place and give me a big ol’ smooch and hug.  His arms wrapped around me felt like a piece of heaven.  Could I just bottle up that feeling and open it up on those days I feel like jumping out my window?! 

But within 30 seconds of giving me a hug, he begged me to wrestle him.  That is all he wants to do anymore.  Wrestle or box.  He could do it all day long.  I can last about 15 minutes.  Maria joined in after 15 minutes and within 5 minutes, Mario hit Maria in the mouth (truly an accident, I think) and she slapped him the face.  The crying and screaming ensued.  I wrapped up the WWF and moved us up to the bath where I hoped the warm bath water would calm them down. It did nothing but cause water to be splashed everywhere. 

After our bath, we headed downstairs for the most random combination of dinner food possible.  Pancakes, hash browns, hot dogs, hot pockets, cottage cheese and cheesy veggies.  Just the sound of the combination makes me gag but it wasn’t bad while we were eating it.  I grabbed two loads of laundry that needed folding and brought it into the family room to fold while we watched Blues Clues (haven’t watched that show in two years).  I didn’t have to say a word to Mario and he dove right in to help me fold.  Maria not so much.  She draws the line at certain chores and laundry is one of them.  She gets away with it for now but another few months and she is in for a rude awakening.

Mario is the most meticulous clothes folder I have met.  Even a more amazing feat when you consider that he is four years old.  He folds clothes over three or four times and makes sure that there are no edges sticking out before he hands them over to me to put in the pile.  It is hilarious.  He is going to be one of those people whose closets are in such complete and total order that you wonder how they function in the real world.  Then again, I am probably completely off base because I see his closet and floor and they are both a disaster area full of unkept clothes and shoes. 

After folding, we drew pictures.  Maria drew me a picture of roses and I drew her a picture of a tree and birds and a swingset.  I exhibit the poorest, saddest, drawing ever for a forty-year old.  The drawing look identical to drawings I made at age 8.  At least my writing is a tad better.  Mario drew a picture of a sunflower for Grandma and Grandpa to thank them for having him over this week.  It was precious.  We missed the little bugger although it was nice for Jon and I to relax together from 9 pm onward.  Maria always fell asleep at a normal hour.  Here we are tonight as I write this with Mario dancing around the downstairs waving his arms and singing “I’m sexy and I know it!”  It is 10:45 pm.

Sharing Breakthrough

 

Maria taking care of her brother

Maria has always had a generous heart.  When she was as young as two, she loved to take presents to her daycare teachers and bring in treats for all of her friends to eat along side of her.  I remember one time at Christmas when I had made stockings full of goodies.  One of the goodies was cookies – Maria’s favorite.  When I gave the stockings to her to present to her teachers, she looked at the cookies.  She looked up at me and asked “are any for me?” I told her that all of the cookies were made for her teachers.  She swallowed deeply and said no more.  She took the stockings into them and gave them a huge hug putting aside the cookies she was missing out on in favor of the thrill of giving. 

Then there is Mario….  Jon and I stood aghast the day we took Mario into school with his Timbit donuts and he refused to share any with his friends or his teachers.  And he not only refused, he was rather mean about it shoving people away from him and holding the donuts so close to him that you would have thought they were gold.  We explained to him how important it was to share because it made others happy, and in turn, made you happy.  He looked at us like we were insane.  Maria tried to explain the importance of sharing, too, by taking a different approach.  She went after his interests by telling him if he did not share, they others would not share with him.  Still nothing. 

The face of a non-sharer

But today, we had a major breakthrough.  A succession of acts of sharing.  First, we headed into daycare this morning with ten Timbits and a sleeve of crackers (yeah, please avoid the commentary on the breakfast selection).  When Mario strolled into class, his class mates swarmed around him and his Timbit box begging for a donut.  Mario stood paralyzed.  The teacher asked the piranhas to step back so Mario could breathe.  Then Mario announced that he would pass out donuts and crackers to his friends.  He handed out Timbits first and then crackers to the remaining friends.  I praised his generosity and he beamed a smile my way. 

After we ate dinner tonight, we made some more of our Zoku pops.  As the kids licked them, I realized I had forgotten to return a red box movie from two nights ago so I made them throw on their coats and head to the car.  On the way out, Maria lost half of her popsicle.  She wailed and pointed to the ground.  She continued to cry all the way to the car and I continued to try to console her.  As she stood in the car, Mario got in his seat and lifted his arm up with popsicle in hand.  ‘Maria, you can have my popsicle.”  I felt like the heavens opened up.  The world shifted on its axis.  Maria and I both looked at each other in awe.  She accepted his offer gladly since he had barely licked his at the time.  I buckled him in his seat and whispered in his ear how proud I was of him. 

Sibling love

 That same beaming smile washed over his face.

 

Thank god for little brothers

I woke up to a rainy, grey, chilly morning.  A day made for snuggling with your babies and hubby in bed snoozing for an hour and then waking for a few minutes and then back to the snooze.  But the world continued to shout our names to wake up and greet it and Cy continued to bark our names to let him outside – so we had to pull our bodies out of bed. And get dressed.  Ugh. 

Dude-man and his girlfriend with Maria (happy with her barbie gift!)

I rushed Maria down to school just so we could participate in the Book Fair a half hour before her school started only to find out that there were no early hours for the fair that morning.  I waited with Maria for the first bell to ring and then rushed home to get dressed and ready for work.  As I tried to run from the bedroom to the closet, I tripped over a gym shoe and knocked my head into the door.  I looked at myself in the mirror and thought “it’s just gonna be one of those days.”  By the time I got to work, I was ready for chocolate.  I downed a snickers bar and a hot chocolate and started to work on a policy that I had been ignoring.  The phone rang off the hook with questions from clients.  My stomach hurt.  Ugh.

As I stared out the window mad about the day, I heard the ring of the computer telling me I had new mail.  I looked down and saw my brother’s name, jack menkedick, on my screen.  “Dude-man” as my sis and I call him.  Seventeen years my junior, he is a superstar musician and actor and one cool cat.  He had forwarded an article to me from The Onion, A Parenting Study.  It made me roar with laughter for the first time all day.  No more worries about how I am parenting – Maria and Mario are screwed no matter what!   How relieved I am to have found that study and to know that there is no parenting tactic that works any better than another – rock-n-roll!  And how awesome it is to have a little brother that thinks enough to send me an email that he knows will put a smile on my face on a dreary day.

It is official

It is official…  Maria has morphed into my little sis, Sarah.  There were signs in the past.  Sarah loved to take long baths.  Maria loves to sprawl out in the bathtub with her head immersed in the water staring up at the ceiling.  Sarah wore long flowing skirts with hippy cotton shirts (due to dad’s dressing skills, or lack thereof).  Maria does the same (of her own will). 

In Sarah attire!

And Sarah loves books.  Last night, Maria told me she was going to read one of my books – an adult book.  I was upstairs cleaning the bathroom so I mumbled “ok” and went about my cleaning.  When I came downstairs, she was sitting on the step reading Annie Dillard.  Deeply immersed.  She looked up at me with those big blue eyes and long tangled blond hair and I saw Sarah 20 years ago. 

Maria’s affection for Sarah took some time.  When Maria was little and Sarah would come in town, Maria would cry “No Sarah!” over and over until Sarah left my side.  Now she begs to see her and asks me questions like “Do I  look like Aunt Sarah” while she reads or “would Aunt Sarah like this” when we pass a toy or book related to Mexico.  I am very cool with the idolization of Sarah bit – no jealousy on my part at all in having my daughter think my little sis is a superstar.  If Maria could get one percent of Sarah’s love for books and five percent of Sarah’s passion for adventure and growth, I would be very pleased.

Running (after my sis)

Sarah and Stella

Years ago when my younger sis (by 10 years) was in high school and deeply involved in sitting at the coffee shop with her friends philosophizing about life as she knew it at age 16, I was the workout monster in the family.  I ran, lifted weights, biked, taught aerobics.  And no one could beat me in a run.  My sis, Sarah, was known for her writing and her love of books.  One of her favorite activities was sitting in the bathtub with her favorite book and reading for two hours.  My brother loved his music, and should adore my parents for letting him spend countless hours in the basement jammin’ away on his drums and sax.  When we went on family hikes, I was the one with ten rocks in my pockets to give me an extra struggle as I climbed up a hill.

Meg and I braving the steps when we visited for Sarah's wedding

Then my sis grew up.  And as she aged, she found a love for running.  Afterall, she has the perfect runner shape – 100 pounds when wet and just tiny!  Her running has been a constant for her as she traveled to different countries and engaged with new people and new work.  I will never forget going to Oaxaca, Mexico to visit her.  She had told me about a course that she ran almost daily with her dog, Stella.  I couldn’t wait to check it out when I arrived.  The first morning after I landed, we awoke to a gorgeous 65 degree day.  She asked if I was ready to go.  ‘Of course”, I thought. 

We walked to the steps that we had to climb to get to the path that led to the trail.  I had heard rumors about these steps from Meg and my dad who had visited Sarah earlier in the year.  “Horrid” and “killer” were adjectives I remember hearing upon their return.  We ran up all of them (at least 150) to a plateau that overlooked some of Oaxaca.  “Ok”, I thought, “I can hang although my heart was beating quite fast.  We continued up a brick path to the trail.  One long hill.  When we got to the trail, I was again winded but continued to smile and assure Sarah I was ok.  Then, the trail.  Heaven help me.  Every time you thought you had reached the top, you found out it was just a short plateau with more hill up ahead.  I was sweating through every pore of my body, and my legs burned like they had been thrown in a fire pit.   

I thought “I have met my match.”

When Sar and I returned home, I laid on the bed massaging my legs and getting my breathing back to normal.  It was at that moment that I knew my reign as workout monster of the Menkedick family was, if not over, at least shared with my sis. 

Sar and I on a bus trip in Oaxaca

So, it is that realization and determination to keep up with her that led me to agree to run the Columbus Marathon with her in October.  She is already cranking out 10-15 miles with no problem.  I have been trying to run more on the mornings that Jon is home and I am able to get out.  I used to run 3-5 miles and then spend a decent amount of time lifting at the gym.  Now, I am running 6-10 and doing less lifting.  I went out this morning and took the bike course downtown and back for ten miles.  In the beginning of the run, you always feel so strong and so free – zoning out to NPR and thinking about events from the past week, what you have going on in the future (a side note – for a mom of two, this freedom and time away is crucial).  By the middle of the run, when you are farthest away from the house, you start to wonder why you went so far and your legs start to wonder with you.  By the end of the run, you just keep repeating “You can do it. You can do it. Don’ think about it anymore, just keep going.”  Then you finish.  And you have that gratification down in the deepest part of your soul that you completed what you set out to complete.  Your body feels wasted and tired but also surprisingly refreshed – you worked all of those toxins out and as spent as you are, you are also so alive.

Nonetheless, as much as I appreciate the thrill of a good, long run, that good, long run has consisted of 10 miles – not 26.  I am not so headstrong to go the 26 in October if I am hurting (my IT band has not been cooperating with me lately).  Of course, I am fully aware that because I am a Menkedick, I can talk the talk now but come race day, I will need to be completely unable to stand on my legs before I will give up. 

I will just have to depend on that little sis of mine to take care of me.

127 Hours

Maria and Mario post-mulching (Mario was proud of his dirty face and hands!

I had both kids in bed by 9:50 on Thursday night.  Amazing, and quite early for Mr. Mario who typically refuses to go to bed unless I lay down with him (especially when Jon is out of town).  I had to shower in the evening due to fingernails filled with dirt and mulch in my hair.  The kids and I hit up the flower store earlier and bought 10 bags of mulch – we got through 4 of them before the kids were ready to move on to better things, namely, dinner for Maria and basketball for Mario.  While I was soaking in the shower, Mario fell asleep in my bed (and Maria hit the hay as soon as her head fell on her pillow).  What a gift of time! 

Maria biking and Mario running

I think the mulching and the run up the street to the pizza store helped wear the boy out. Lately, Maria has been all about her bike and Mario has been all about walking/running.  He can make it a mile without stopping to take a breath or rest.  He has got his mom’s lungs.  Maria keeps us truckin’ because she zooms on her bike – the same bike she has had since she was three with training wheels wobbling, rust growing and princess stickers falling off.  I think a new bike may be in order for her 6th b-day.

Back to my evening.  I got downstairs at 10:15, cleaned up the living room and kitchen, and flipped through the movies on pay-per-view.  One of my favorite past times is hitting up the movie theatre with popcorn and pop in tow (and usually a box of whoopers or goobers).  Since I could not leave the children alone (oh, how tempting!), I had to be content with the tv, chips and dip, and a diet 7Up.  I flipped through the new releases and it came down to Black Swan and 127 Hours.   My brother gave 127 Hours rave reviews and it was only one and a half hours long.  It won. 

I’d give it a 5 out of 10.  It kept my interest for the most part but there were times in it that I grew impatient watching James Franco make videos of himself.  I know the director wanted the audience to get as accurate and real a picture of this climber being stuck in this crevice – his arm wedged into the rock by another rock – but I thought it dragged out a little too long.  However, Franco did an excellent job recreating the absolute horror and intensity of cutting off his arm.  The detail of that scene itself sticks to my bones.  The ending failed to meet my expectations, too.  I didn’t feel an ultimate connection with Franco at the end, which is something I look forward to in watching a movie (Annette Benning wowed me in The Kids Are Alright).  

There was one scene right before Franco cut off his arm where Franco was beginning to give up and he had a vision of himself with his future son.  That part struck me because I remembered back when I had a minor health scare.  There were about two weeks where I waited to hear back from my doctor.  Maria and Mario were both born, and the only thing that kept me up at night was the thought of leaving them at such a young age and not being able to watch them grow.  When I was pregnant with Maria, I still remember thinking that I could never love her as much as I loved our pup, Cy.  Sad but true (and it did take about 3 months to love her as much because she was such a fussy baby)!  But now I cannot imagine not being a part of their lives and the amount of love that I have for them feels limitless.

Maria and Mario in a loving state before school!

The next morning I paid for my “crazy movie night” when Maria and Mario woke me up at 6:45 am.  I felt like I had slept 2 hours.  It reaffirmed the fact that I need to go to bed by 10:30.  The kids knew I was tired and took care of me by getting dressed in a reasonable amount of time and walking the entire way to school.  When we arrived, Maria began to pout and complain that she did not want to be in school.  She did not want me to leave.  She has been getting like this lately, especially on the weeks that Jon is gone.  I hugged her and told her that she would have a great day, and without prompting, Mario also hugged and her and said “Don’t worry, Ri, school will be fun and I will play with you this afternoon.”  She planted a long, hard smooch on his cheek, and we walked home. 

I told Mario I was proud of him for helping out his sister, and he looked at me and replied “I love my sissy.”  Watching their relationship continue to grow is a gift for Jon and I.  Jon returned that night, and the kids were ecstatic to see him walk through the door. Echos of “DADDY” still ring through my head.  Later that evening, Jon and I relaxed in our normal fashion – Jon with some tv and me with my computer, and I was fast asleep by 10:30.

Mini me and Spazo

Mario running with Maria in the stroller shouting commands!

Maria and Mario agreed to a walk two evenings ago but we got in the stroller and remembered that the front tire burst during our library trip last Sunday when we put Maria on the foot rest of the stroller to make room for her friend and Mario to sit in the stroller seats.  The stroller tire lasted almost a half of a mile before it succumbed to the pressure from above.  When I told the kids the stroller was out of commission, Mario went straight for his bike.  Maria went straight to my arms. 

When that idea was shot down, she begged for the one-person stroller. 

“Maria, why don’t you walk?” 

“Because I am tired, mom, and I haven’t been in this stroller in a long time. It will remind you of when I was just a baby.” 

She is smooth.  She knows that I weep and get mushy about places, pictures, things that take me back to her or her brother being tiny.  I helped Mario with clasping his Spiderman helmet (he still remembers the time that Pee-paw accidentally pinched his skin in the helmet and winces each time I put it on him) and gave him an initial push down the sidewalk.  By that time, I looked behind me and there was “take-charge” Maria who had gotten the stroller off the porch and situated herself in it.  She gives me the sly Maria smile and shouts “Let’s go, Mom! Love you!” 

Mario riskin' it by petting a rat.

When we looked up, Mario was almost to the end of our block.  He has not yet learned to make complete stops at intersections so I yelled for him to stop.  He didn’t.  That is when Maria Grace took charge.  She jumped out of the stroller and darted towards the intersection yelling “Mario Joseph, stop!”  When she caught up with him (after the intersection where he did glance back and forth for a millisecond), she ripped him up. 

“Mario Joseph, you need to listen to your mom and your sissy if you are going to be allowed to ride your bike alone.  You scared us and we do not like that. Next time you do that we are going to stop the ride and go home.”

And there you have it.  My girl taking charge.  The scary thing is that she sounded just like me.  She has listened to me too well. Mario listened to her entire speech and followed it up with a sticking out of his tongue and a taunt (similar to what he does to his mama).  Maria galres at him and scolds “that is inappropriate behavior, Mario.”  Words right from her mama’s mouth.  I intercede between the two but basically reiterate everything mini-me has said to him. 

Maria and her loud voice (like her mama!)

When we arrive at Panera, Mario parks his bike perfectly against the bike stand, asks me to help take off his helmet, and rests it on the handlebar.  He smooths down his hair that got messed up by his helmet, and heads towards the door.  He has to open it for us, which he is able to do after two minutes of extraneous pushing and me slipping my hand up top to give it a nudge (if he had seen me, it would have been chaos!).  When we walk in, he turns to us and flexes his arms muscles.  “I am strong and have lots of muscles!”  Maria gives him a shout out: “Yes, Mario, you are the strongest!” 

After retrieving water and saying hi to a few older guests (Maria asks if I am proud of her for saying hi to them since I tell her how good it makes people feel to see a little girl smile at them and say hi), we head back out for the ride home.  There are two girls sitting outside, and Mario walks by, looks at me, and whispers “Look at those hot girls.”  Heaven help me.  Who teaches him these things?  Maria rolls her eyes at me but then eggs Mario on by whispering “say hi to them, Mario”  Yeah, I think I have a clue on who is his teacher….

The twosome waiting for Spring to come...

Mario mounts his bike and takes off past Jeni’s and Stauf’s reciting “I am cool” the entire way.  Maria follows him closely making sure that he is not getting too far from us.  He stops at the light and both of them look down to see a tiny purple flower blossoming from the crack of the sidewalk.

“Mom” they both chime. 

“What?”

“Look at the beautiful flower.  That is a sign of Spring.” Maria states.

Mario adds: “The sun helped it bloom.” 

“Indeed, it did, Mario.”

Solely Mario

Mario in his sullen holiday state!

We have had Mario for three nights and two days without Maria Grace.  I had reached my tipping point with Mario three days ago when we were at my uncle’s house for Christmas – Mario had gripped onto me like a baby monkey throughout the holidays, refused to go near my grandma and give her a holiday smooch, threw tantrums over eating anything remotely healthy, demanded to only wear his batman costume to family dinner, and cried hysterically when Jon buckled him in his seat rather than me.  Now, it is as if some mysterious spirit – knowing that I was about to boil over and melt down – released a bolt of sweetness and goodness into my son.  He has been significantly better over these last two days. 

I think he merely needed a break from his sister – he needed that only-child-attention that Maria got for 2.5 years.  He snuggles with Jon and me; he sporadically kisses us; he tells me he loves me out of the blue; he plays quietly in the tub with his Spidermen for a half hour; he reads books with me.  Now, it is not all bliss – he still has had his episodes of irrationality (especially when it comes to getting dressed – he continues to think all of his jeans make him look “fat” and none of his shirts fit properly) but they are outweighed ten-fold by his episodes of kindness. 

The only-child Mario!

I think three-year olds need that extra attention – need that reassurance that you are watching them perform that gymnastic move or sing that goofy song.  And when there is a five-year-old to compete with for that attention, it is quite difficult to get it.  They may get a five-minute piece of attention but then they need to give it up for another five minutes while the five-year-old performs.  Whereas when that five-year-old sibling is gone, holy cow, they have the spotlight for what to them probably feels like years (and to the parents can also feel like years, especially when you are watching the twentieth spiderman jump off the bed). 

Maria will return home tomorrow, and her return excites me because I have missed her.  But there is still a tiny part of me that just wishes she could stay at grandma’s house a while longer so that I can continue to bask in this new-found son of mine.  I have gotten rather used to being told “I love you” and being smothered in kisses all night.