All in a day’s work

We got our Ri back today and it was so marvelous to have her running around the house. Our first activity was sled riding on Wyman Woods hill. It was quite a taxing event for Ri and me. We didn’t have any traction on our boots ( we wore rain boots) and the hill was icy in more places than not. We literally had to crawl up to the top of the hill from mid-way up because of the ice. People were laughing really hard at our expense. Meanwhile, Mario just cranked it up the hill without us and sped down on an old-school wooden sled that his friend brought to the park. Maria and I broke his red plastic slide within five minutes of arriving at the park when we tried to go down on it together. It cracked in 10 pieces and my bottom was soaked from Ri using me as her sled the rest of the way down the hill.

Ri was not as big of a fan of the sled-riding as Mario. She was nervous heading down the hill and tried to stop herself by putting out her hands and legs and then flipping over on her stomach and jumping off her slide half way down the hill. When she did go down properly, she liked it by the end of the slide but she had no desire to do it more than twice. She was much more happier making snow angels.

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Mario finally joined us after his friend left and proceeded to bombard us with snowballs. He even managed to get one down my pants, the bum.

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The kids played around in the snow a bit and then it hit them that they were freezing. They whined all the way to the car. Once home, they tore off their clothes and got in warm ones and we took down the tree. Yes, I am Scrooge as Jon says. Ri helped me take it down while Mario dropped pieces of an ornament that slipped out of my grasp to see how many more pieces he could see shatter. I did make him watch out not to step on the broken pieces….

They eventually got bored with that activity and decided to massage each other on our cushion in the front room. Maria belted out orders to Mario: “Massage my back, go higher, get my arm, now my head….” Mario smartly decided to charge her $20 and then she decided to leave the massage joint.

We got outside before the evening set in and built a snowman. Ri and I actually built it while Mario threw snowballs with Jon. Quite impressive snowman compared to our past attempts.

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After freezing ourselves again, we headed in for warmth. I decided to pull out Maria’s homework with the hopes I could get her excited about it. Somehow, by the grace of a higher being, she didn’t complain and even turned the page after doing the first set of problems. I wanted to set off fireworks.

We got stuck on one question involving a trapezoid and three triangles. It asked what traditional shape the four shapes could make. Jon and I thought about it and drew some things but couldn’t get anything. We were thinking triangle or square…. So Ri and I called in reinforcements – Peepaw and Mama Meg . We gave the scenario to Peepaw and he immediately thought that the shape would be a parallelogram. At the same time he told Ri that, I had drawn a parallelogram. Us Menkedicks are always on the same wave length. We texted the shapes to Peepaw and Mama Meg to see if they thought we were right, and Meg also came up with a hexagon. We are set!

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Talk about a full day – sledding, snowman building, breaking down the Christmas tree and ornaments, and solving math problems. I think it’s pjs and movie day tomorrow.

Mario and me time

mariocardsMario Joseph got stuck with his mama and papa the last three days while Maria partied with Alana and Grandma Ionno in Marion.  But he managed to have a decent time with us, I think.  We spent Wednesday night eating Cheese-Its and chocolates while playing Three Little Pigs.  Three Little Pigs is a card game like crazy eights but with the characters from the Three Little Pigs story.  They were my grandma’s playing cards, and when she died last March, I begged to keep them.  Now every time I deal them out to Ri and Mario, I think of her playing the game with me at their age.  I don’t ever remember her telling me that she wouldn’t play with me.  She was always ready for a hand.

Mario places his cards on the chair next to him because he can’t hold them all in his hand.  He loves to win, imagine that, and usually does with me.  He rubs it in for a few minutes and then says “that’s ok, mom, I will play you again and see if you can win the next time.”

Wednesday morning and afternoon were rough because it was snowing like crazy outside and we were stuck in the house.  We watched some tv, played on the iPad, played Wii, read some books, and Mario amused me with his imaginary play.  We even got in a nap in the middle of the day, or I should say that I got in a nap while Mario watched SpongeBob for an hour. Mario kept saying “it’s ok, mom, you need your sleep, you can keep sleeping.”

mariosledThursday was much better. The snow laid thick in our yard and the sun shined bright.  It was cold enough to keep the snow from melting but sunny enough to not feel frozen when you walked outside.  We walked to the library to find a Wii game and then walked to the park with our plastic sled.  The park was awesome.  There was only one other person on the hill with his two kids and we got to sled down non-stop for an hour.  Mario wanted me to go with him the first two times, and I must admit that I was a tad hesitant to go on our tiny red plastic slide.  Last time I went with Ri, I broke it.  But the sled held up sledwell, and we laughed hysterically as we sled down the hill.  Mario decided he wanted to go by himself the remainder of the time.  I sat at the bottom of the hill (or the top depending on whether Mario wanted me to walk up with him) and smiled incessantly as I watched Mario speed down the hill.  I think sled riding is an activity that you can’t help but feel good watching.  Everyone has huge smiles on their faces and thrill in their hearts as they descend the hill.  It lifted my spirits and when we left, I felt a bit lighter in my step.

We returned later in the afternoon for more fun and the hill was packed with people. The snow had all but disintegrated and the green grass poked through.  But people were still flying down on their sleds so Mario and I jumped in the fray.  Mario took all of the sledders by storm and whisked past them landing ten feet farther than all of them.  He was mighty proud of that achievement.

mariosnowJon picked us up and we headed home to shovel the sidewalk and build a snowman.  Mario and I made a sad little snowman that looked like someone had flattened it with a large griddle.  We used carrots for its eyes and nose and a “v” shaped stick for its mouth.  Mario was happy with it so that is all that mattered. We came inside for the night, ate macaroni and cheese and fell asleep at 7:30 on the recliner chair.  Jon nudged me, and I walked Mario up to our bed at 8:15.  I had big plans of heading back down to hang with Jon but Mario woke up when I put him in bed and begged me to lay with him.  I was back out in five minutes and woke up again at 11:30 pm with Mario snuggled up in my chest, his forehead laying perfectly on the bottom of my neck.  Pure heaven.

Cookie dough and cards

We baked for hours the other night – sugar cookies with bursts of sprinkles and chocolate chips loaded on them, banana bread with crushed nuts spread on top, rice krispy treats, traditional chocolate chip cookies. We had big plans to deliver them to neighbors and friends but only ended up delivering them to two neighbors. Everyone was gone. Darn, more for us and our family.

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Ri and I kept devouring the cookie dough so I diverted our attention to the cookie cut-outs. We had big ideas to trace the cut-outs onto construction paper, cut them out, and place them on the dinner plates but we decided to play the Flintstone card game instead. Our hands were tired from rolling dough, right?

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We had to teach Mario how to be a gracious loser since he threw a fit every time Maria won. Ri finally lost a game (I think she did it purposefully to appease Mario) and she shook his hand and congratulated him.

His response: “Since I shook her hand, can I still tease her that I won?” Baby steps, I guess…,

Playing the Steps

Ri found this video on my Facebook as she perused through all of my friends’ posts. She called Mario and I in the room to watch it with her and we all thought about putting that on our steps. As Ri pointed out, there’s just one problem: when I sneak out at 6:30 am to run, Mario will hear me for sure as I tip-toe down the steps.

Not a bad way to wake up though!

Push-ups, anyone?

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We had a fitness class taught by Mario last night. He cheerfully ordered us to stand on one leg and then to push our arms above our head and out to the sides. Ri and I had to run around the family room for one minute without stopping. He showed us how to do a handstand and kick our feet out (neither Ri nor I could get that one perfected). All the while, he laughed and thoroughly enjoyed himself. Jon and I pictured him as a fitness trainer, probably fitting in out in California with that blond hair.

Then it was Ri’s turn to play trainer. Watch out folks! She barked out orders and if we so much as stepped the wrong direction, she pointed her finger and demanded a do-over. Where we see Mario in California, we see Ri leading a boot camp.

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Taking in the morning

This weather is ridiculous. Close to 60 degrees in mid-December. It makes me think twice about living in California or Colorado where it would be a temperate 70 degrees most days. But in the end, I do like the change in seasons and hope that we will get some sled riding in this Winter.

The kids and I took advantage of the weather with a stroller ride and bike ride to our tried and true Tim Hortons. Ri rode her bike and Mario lounged in the stroller. Ri talked to me about her friend’s mom and how mean she was to her friend. I listened to her as she talked about the things this mom said to her friend. She is definitely much more strict than me (who isn’t?!) but her words do seem rather harsh. Nonetheless, I explained to Ri that every mom is different and there were surely wonderful traits this mom possessed. Ri looked doubtful. She biked a bit longer and then looked over at me and said “I have a great mom.”

Can I please package that up with a bow and bring it out when she’s 15 and hating me?!

Meanwhile, Mario informed us that he knew why he woke up last night unable to breathe. It scared Jon and I half to death. He woke up at 2 am gasping for air and could barely drink water. He was raspy voiced. I would have thought he swallowed something if it wasn’t 2 am. After ten minutes, he fell back to sleep and woke up fine. Mario told us that he woke up and was unable to breathe because the trees in the nearby park had been chopped down recently.

“They cut down all those trees and hurt our environment. Now it’s hard to breathe good.”

There is our little Sierra Club member.

After Tim Hortons, we got a rare treat. A train passed through right in front of our eyes as we walked towards the park. We had passed over the tracks hoping to see it and as soon as we passed over, it came roaring by us. We all sprinted to the tracks to see it right before our eyes (Maria held her sides heaving and smiling and said “my body hasn’t gone that fast ever!).

The park was all ours to enjoy. We ran up and down Wyman Woods hill. We played in the sand volleyball court. M&M climbed the old pine tree to the near top. Mario was so excited because he had never climbed that high before. We climbed the monkey bars.

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And all of this before 10 am!

On the way home, we passed a couple jogging. Mario pointed at them and said “they are helping the environment by using their legs and not driving, right mom?” I shook my head yes. Maria was dazing off into space and I didn’t think she heard us until she declared “why run when you can bike? I’m going to bike everywhere because I hate to walk.”

Mario confirmed that Ri could take that route because she was using her own energy to move and that was good for the environment. Ri and I smiled at sweet Mario. Then we passed two newly planted trees and before I could point them out, Mario squealed “new trees, mom! I can breathe better!”

Mario’s trophy

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Mario finally received his trophy for flag football. He’s been talking about his award ceremony for weeks questioning when it would happen and dreaming about what he would receive. Jon and I figured there would be trophies for the boys but weren’t sure. We kept telling him that he should just focus on seeing his football buddies and having fun.

He could barely eat his dinner last night his body was so pumped with adrenaline. He ran around the kitchen doing kicks in the air and asking “how much longer until my awards?”

We arrived at the middle school and boys from ages 5 to 11 were running around the cafeteria pulling at each other and sliding across the floor. Mario found his nirvana and joined right into the mix. It is at once heartening and disheartening to see your little boy making school-age friends and hanging out on his own. Part of me wanted him to sit on my lap like he used to as a toddler and play with my hair or clutch my hand. But the other part of me loved to watch him spread his wings and engage with this group of boys who would be his buddies for years to come. Jon and I agree that he will be quite the social butterfly.

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When the coach called his name to receive his trophy, he had a smile so wide I thought it might come off his face. He shook the coach’s hand and sat down. He promptly admired his trophy for the next ten minutes. When he finally got up and came to show Jon and me, he exclaimed “I was the leader and did the best on the team so I got the highest number – 2000 and something.” He was pointing at the date “2012” on his trophy. Jon and I just let him continue on with his musings.

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Ri was the sweet, cheerleader sister congratulating him on his trophy. When he first received it, she looked sadly at Jon and me and whispered “I don’t have one yet.” We reassured her that we were sure she’d get one if she kept practicing hard. She quickly changed her demeanor to one of joy when Mario walked over. That is one of Ri’s best traits – supporting others even if she feels a bit jealous. She is so mature in that area.

Of course, Mario’s first words as we left were “has Maria ever gotten a trophy like me?” We told him he is not in a competition with his sis. Maria and I rolled our eyes at each other while Mario held on tight to his trophy.

Birthday No. 41

I opened the front door and Maria dashed down the stairs and chirped “Happy Birthday!” I heard a wail from the top of the stairs. Mario mourned at the failure to wish me a happy birthday first. He showed his anger by yelling “you are the worst sister and mom ever!” And so began my 41st birthday.

Jon had a “shape it up” talk with the kids, and after 10 minutes, they arrived in our bedroom bearing cards and gifts. Maria showed me her cards first. I had told her that all I wanted for my birthday was a poem and a cool picture. I knew I was asking a lot because Ri is not a big gan of drawing unless it’s pictures of glamorous girls. I try to get her to sit down and make something but it’s always a fight. So, I wasn’t expecting anything too elaborate, if anything at all. But she came through with a quirky poem and even a picture for me. Mario drew his signature multi-colored blocks picture that I always admire and a stick figure of himself. Precious.

They also grabbed a few items from the basement to give as presents truly believing that I had never seen them before. Maria grabbed the framed baby pictures of her and Mario. Mario gave me a book I bought a long time ago at the used book store and never read titled “An Unknown Woman.” Perfect for turning 41.

I hugged them both with mad intensity and thanked them for being so generous. As we made our way downstairs, Ri looked back at me with an excited look on her face. “Are you taking off work today, mom?” I answered “I wish.” She started to pout. “I wanted to stay home with you today, mom.” And she pouted the entire way to school refusing to kiss me goodbye when she left the car.

It feels wrong and inequitable that a seven year old’s attitude can have such a negative impact on an adult. I got ready for work thinking ” It’s my fricken’ birthday and I have this attitude all around me?” Really?!

I tend to idealize how events will turn out and 95% of the time, that leads to disappointment. So I have been trying to be conscious of that habit and avoid it.

However, that habit had reared it’s ugly head on my morning run and as I stepped into our house, I framed a perfect scene with my kids and hubby greeting me at the door holding elaborate cards and smothering me with kisses. Then they’d sing happy birthday and tell me how I am the greatest mom and wife on Earth.

Seriously?! What mom has ever experienced such an event? Pretty sure not even June Cleaver.

I took a deep breath as I pulled my bike up to the front entrance of my work. I looked around me. The sun was finally out. I had gotten to bike to work. Jon was taking me out in the evening. The kids had been sweet in the morning and only hot excited because they wanted to spend MORE time with me. Really, life was pretty good.

When I walked in my office, a bright pink and black package sat on my desk with a card. All of my colleagues had signed the card and I discovered an assortment of fine chocolates in the package. Always a good way to start a day.

My busy day received welcome interruptions from distant friends and relatives sending messages and close friends and family calling.

My sister left me the most hilarious message singing “Happy Birthday To Freak” on my voice mail (it’s a Menkedick tradition to call each other “freaks.”). My mom left me a “you are still young” message reiterating how active and vibrant I remained at the ripe old age of 41. My dad and Meg left separate messages sending their love. My mother-in-law called me with good news about her heart tests and wished me a great day. My brother met out with me for a coffee and a brisk Fall walk. I received a lovely card from Jon’s brother and family. I felt immensely loved, and that’s a darn tootin’ good feeling.

After work, I received my ultimate present – Perkins Pancake House! But before we could head out, Mario pounded out some fine pieces of craftsmanship for me. He has learned quite the hand-eye coordination to hammer nails. I kept cringing as he hammered the nails into the wood but he made it through with no bloody fingers.

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When we walked into Perkins, a torrent of memories flooded my brain. The muffin case, the kitchen, the booths. I waitressed at Perkins (as did many of my Heile aunts) for six years through high school and college. Waitressing at Perkins left an indelible mark on my speech – I still call people “hunny” and “dear.”. That’s all good and fine when it’s Jon or the kids but when it’s my boss, it’s not cool. I met a lot of struggling, flawed, surviving-on-a-shoestring folks working at Perkins and they taught me a heck of a lot about life. hard work, laughter, compassion, friendship to name a few. I wish I could find Annie, the bucktoothed mama of five who rode three buses to get to her morning shift at 5:30 am. Or Jessie, the black patch wearing night shift manager who carried a billy club by his side all evening. I never felt scared with him around. These folks were my extended family and I loved them dearly.

Perkins not only formed my speech but also my taste buds. I fell in love with Perkins’ food, especially the pancakes. They have a buttery lightness to them that I have not found anywhere else.

I could barely contain my excitement at work; I bragged about heading to Perkins at every meeting. People laughed thinking I was kidding. They need to make a trip and they will be converted. The men were jealous of Jon wishing their wives were as cheap of a date as me. I’d pick Perkins over Hyde Park any day.

And dang if the food didn’t taste just as good as I had imagined – absolutely delicious. I savored every last bite while the kids and Jon found immense pleasure in my giddiness. If I ever lose my job, I am heading back to Perkins.

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I felt so incredibly happy when I walked out of Perkins. The kids might as well had stars swooning their bodies and Jon a halo over his head – they were my angels and had absolutely made my night by feeding me pancakes and providing me the best of company.

And asif it couldn’t get any better, it did! We picked up a Giant Eagle sheet cake and ice cream. Yes, I ate a huge piece of cake with ice cream within one hour of demolishing pancakes. What are birthdays for?

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Mario sang happy birthday to me for the third time that night and Ri videotaped it (she is going to be a videographer at some point in her future). Jon wrote me a sweet card and I scored free massages and a gift certificate to FrontRunner. Nothing better.

At the end of the evening, I laid in bed staring at the muted light streaming through our blinds. I thought about the angst of my 20’s – trying to figure out who I was and what I wanted to be. My 30’s – feeding my ego, graduating law school, working in the white tower firm, marrying my man, and having two babies. And then my 40’s – starting the decade off with my girlfriends in Italy. How apropos to start my 40’s, I thought.

I think these next few years will be for me to enjoy myself – travel, take long runs, eat good food (Perkins!), watch a movie in an actual theatre, meet up with friends, read enthralling books with M&M, connect more with my siblings, get lost in Jon. Enjoy all I have accomplished and endured these last 41 years, and give myself a little break. Laugh a little more. Do something spontaneous. Be silly and wild. Dig into nature. Watch an Oscar-nominated movie. Celebrate who I am and who I love and feel comfortable in my own skin.

Ahh, nice.

Best day of my life

Mario could not sit still all morning. It was his big day to go hunting with Jon. I can’t believe I missed taking a picture of him in his camo shirt and pants. He searched the closets for his camo hat, too.

Jon and he made it to the woods around 1:30 in the afternoon. Jon informs me that Mario was beside himself with joy. He turned to Jon after sitting with him in pure silence for 20 minutes and whispered “this is the best day of my life.” Wrap it up with a bow – it doesn’t get much sweeter than that folks.

Meanwhile, I had the pleasure of picking up Ri and her two girlfriends and taking them to Bob Evans for dinner. I picked Ri up from Kids Club and her friend, Ceylone begged to go with us, which led Ri to beg to let her come with us, which led her friend Janira to beg to come, which led all three of them to beg to come with us. Ceylone’s mom and Janira’s mom thought I was nuts but I actually enjoy these types of outings.

I sometimes dream about what the outings will entail: we’ll talk about their day at school, they will ask me pressing questions they have as young girls, I will answer with rapturous stories making them squirm in their seat anxious for my next word.

Reality: They play on my iPhone until their food comes. They scarf it down. They run-off.

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I gladly delivered them to the school at 6:00 pm for three hours of Math Club -Kids Night Out. Gotta love those teachers working all day and then hosting this event. They jumped out of the car and ran to the side door. I told them it was locked but they didn’t believe me. When they tried to open it, they all turned to each other and yelled “we got schooled!” Heaven help me.

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They let me snap a quick picture before they headed in and I lost them in the crowd of excited second graders running into one another to get to the gymnasium. I had just settled at Stauf’s a half hour later when I got a text from Ri’s teacher telling me Ri felt sick. So much for my three hour block of alone time.

But at least I know I will get some cuddle time with my girl tonight.

Halloween 2012

We rocked out Halloween as best as we could last night. It was 39 degrees and sprinkling, then raining. But the kids sensed their mom’s desire for chocolate and cranked a few long blocks. Mario got his competitive bug in him for the first 20 minutes and ran from house to house asking “could you do this when you were little, mom?” But then Ri and Zach and Jeffrey caught up with us and Mario got mad because he wanted to be alone with me.

He made it another block before he complained about being cold. He had decorated a little felt bag for candy at school and it was filled to the brim (I always had a pillow case full but I won’t rub it in to Mario – he’d be livid!). I dropped him back at my friend, Amy’s house, and headed back out with Ri and the boys. Amy dressed up her tiny pooch who yapped the entire way as we passed by trick-or-treaters. Between the pup and the crazy kids running all over the place, we were in need of some soothing chocolate (or whiskey but houses weren’t giving that out!). We wrapped up the show around 8:00 and headed home. On the way back, I remembered that UDF had free ice cream cones for kids dressed up in costumes. I can’t miss a freebie!

Cowgirl and Alien Boy walked out with cotton candy ice cream and I walked out with a two dip peanut butter-n-chip sundae. Then we came home, got in our pjs and topped that ice cream goodness off with Snickers and Butterfingers.

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