Stop!
Stop moving.
Breathe!
Breathe deeply.
Savor.
Capture!
Be grateful.
Tag: Gratitude
Being conscious of treasures
We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures. ~Thornton Wilder
I am making a conscious effort each day to step back at certain moments in time, be it with the kids or work colleagues or Jon or by myself, and appreciate the moment for what it offers to me. These small retreats build up, and by the time evening rolls in and I am putting on my pjs alongside Maria and Mario, I generally feel grateful for what life has offered me through the day (there are those rare evenings where even a day full of wonderful moments can be demolished by a child going through a temper tantrum).
There are tons of books and magazines and blog sites touting the benefits of gratitude but it’s not until you actually make that conscious effort of practicing it that it hits home. I feel more serene when I go to sleep, more hopeful during my day, more positive in my outlook. Overall, I guess I would say I am more “happy” – whatever that looks like. I simply feel more alive and more connected.
Today, I got to take a run in the morning for the first time in two weeks. Jon stayed with Mario while I ran through the neighborhood and lifted weights at the gym. Listening to NPR for 45 minutes was the best gift I could receive from Jon. On my run home, as I listened to Michael Jackson’s Beat It and looked at the gardens lining our street, I had one of those step-back moments. I felt an intense swelling of gratitude for Jon, and his selflessness in letting me get up in the mornings to do the thing I love to do. I also felt grateful for my legs – yeah, my legs! For allowing me to be able to run the distance I am able to run and let my mind drift as I listen to stories and news on NPR. It is such a treasure for me.
Later in the day, when I came home from work to find Mario and Jon already back from school, I felt that surge of gratitude rise again. Mario popped out of the family room with a whopping smile on his face telling me to close my eyes. When I opened, he had his home-made graduation cap on his head and the same smile across his face.
“I graduated today, mom!”
Some in his class graduated to Kindergarten today but they let all of the kids make caps (always politically correct). He was so proud of his creation. We took a bike ride later to get his haircut, and while on the bike, he asked me to sing to him. I sang him a rhyming song about how much I loved my boy cuz he was just like a toy, and his toes tasted like soy… (yeah, I know, pretty lame except to a four-year old), and he turned around laughing at me. It was the sweetest moment. I replay it in my head as I sit here tonight, and it still makes me smile as I think about it. When we got to the salon, he made me move away from him while the gal cut his hair because he wanted to be alone with her. He wanted to tell her how he wanted his hair. I sat in the seat up front the entire time without him ever calling out for me. When she finished, he got out of his chair, and walked over to me.
“What do you think, mom?”
“You look awesome, dude.”
He walked over to the mirror and put his hand through his hair, and nodded his head up and down. He knew he looked good. Man, I am grateful for that nut.
When we got home, Jon told me that he called Maria at Grandma Ionno’s house. Patty told him how Maria kept her and Joe laughing throughout the day with her quips. She was telling a story to Patty and Joe and Joe closed his eyes. She looked at Patty and said “I guess the story was a little long – no wonder Grandpa fell asleep!” That girl has got a personality to last a lifetime, and I am grateful beyond words to have her in my life (and I miss her like mad – get home, pumpkin girl!).
I am thankful for this consciousness of treasures I continue to sharpen in my daily life. Now, off to a good-night’s sleep.
Time with my little guy
Trade your expectation for appreciation and the world changes instantly. Tony Robbins
I woke up with Mario this morning. Maria got to see a late movie and sleep over with a girlfriend. Mario agreed to take a stroller ride with me if I let him get donuts at Tim Hortons. I allowed him to get donuts if he agreed to eat a graham cracker with peanut butter beforehand (I knew if he did that he would not even be hungry for much of a donut and I could eat the rest!).
Much to my amazement, Mario spent the entire stroller ride talking to me and finding all sorts of animals along the way. He spotted birds and squirrels and a rabbit sitting in a yard. Of course, it was a game to him that he had to win. Every time he found an animal, he’d pump his fist in the air and yell “I win!” But it was much better than having him play on the iPad, which is usually what he wants to do. He even talked to me about what he learned at school this week (do you know what anemones do, mom? I do!).
I am so appreciative of this time with my little guy – totally unexpected and wonderful. It started my holiday weekend off on a much-needed good note, and changed how I viewed my tiny little world this morning.
Life doesn’t get much better – donuts, fresh air and sweet chats with my guy. Now, we can’t wait to add Maria to the mix!
Ten Reasons to be grateful
Top Ten Reasons to be Grateful for Today:
1. Waking up to Maria snoozing away like a baby giraffe laying perpendicular to me in my bed with her head tucked into my legs and her legs sprawled out over the end of the bed.
2. Watching Mario’s “I’m Sexy and I know it” video on my phone – he is banned from hitting the bars until he’s 30.
3.Eating Reese Peanut Butter Puffs and a chocolate easter bunny for breakfast!
4. Watching “mini me” (Maria) bike to school in her running shorts and t-shirt and look both ways before crossing the streets! You go girl!
5. Biking into work in 55 degree weather; I can’t believe it will be 93 degrees this weekend.
6. Drinking an iced decaf americano with milk and cinnamon and seeing a clip of Usher’s “Oh My Go-” video on tv. Love that song.
7. Hearing the joy in my mon’s voice when she called at 1 pm to tell me she got off work early and picked up Lou from doggie daycare.
8. Looking at the colorful array of flowers that I get to pot tonight. Hopefully at least a few live after my touch.
9. Soaking in Jon’s voice and hearing him say “I love you.”
10. Giving a smile to the janitor in my building who responded with a boisterous “It’s a grand beauty of a day, ma’am!” amen, sir.
TGIF
Ten Reasons to be Grateful For Today…
1. Gorgeous powder blue sky with cotton ball clouds and 70 degree temperature = perfect biking to work weather.
2. Lunch with Mom at Mario’s school – free Panera with a big chocolate chip cookie! Running around the playground with Mario, spinning in plastic seats and playing tag in the muscle room. Mario made me a gorgeous beaded necklace so “I can remember him every time I wear it.”
3. Playing soccer with Maggie and Mario in the back yard (except when Maggie stole the ball from me and scored)!
4. Figuring out which drapes to get for the living room window and hall window. So exciting to branch out and take a walk on the wild side! I am not matching the color of the drapes with the furniture – crazy!
5. Seeing Jon on a scooter that his friend wants him to buy. He looked like a ten-year old who just got the present he begged his parents for all year.
6. Taking Maria to school and listening to Jack’s CD in the car. Maria asked if Jack wrote one of the songs after he broke up with Chelsea. I told her I was not sure and that we should ask him since we have the good fortune of being related to the singer of the band! She stopped me in my tracks and told me that we should not ask Jack such a question because it may make him sad and she doesn’t want to see her uncle sad. Also, loved seeing her in the cowboy boots that Grandma Meg got her for her b-day!
7. Going for a bike ride with Mario; he still fits in the baby seat on my bike! We biked all over Grandview; hit the park for some slide tag and Giant Eagle for a flower to plant outside.
8. Watching a yellow finch land on the branch of a japanese maple tree.
9. Talking to my mom about her new pup, Lou, and how everyone at the doggie day care thinks he is the best dog ever (so funny to see her as such a proud doggy mama!).
10. Eating Orange Leaf’s brownie batter and birthday cake yogurt with oreo and graham cracker topping. Mario got his pineapple, as always. And sitting outside together talking about desert animals.
Gratitude Runneth Over
I have been struggling over the last few weeks with the meaning of my existence. Ya know, just a light topic to ponder during the day. Colleagues think I am a blast!
In actuality, it is not so much pondering the meaning of my existence as it is pondering what I want to get out of this life. What do I want to accomplish? Where will I be in five years? These heavy questions can weigh me down very quickly, and I have been searching for a way to lift myself out of it when I move from productive questioning to destructive judgment.
I have found that one exercise is particularly helpful in stabilizing me, at the least, and boosting me, at the most. It is the practice of gratitude. As soon as I catch myself wallowing in self-pity or feeling like I am not contributing enough, I think of something for which I am grateful. Today it was a family soccer game. Jon tried to score on Mario. Maria and I ran around waiting for our turn. Jon and I tried to see how many head balls we could do to one another before the ball fell to the ground (don’t ask, it was not impressive). We all laughed together at Mario’s dives and Maria’s antics. It was a most enjoyable half of an hour as the sun began to set. It allowed me to remember to not get so wrapped up in the analysis of everything but to just relax (not a mainstream word in my vocab).
I have an incredible family and I have a wonderful home and I mean so much to M&M and Jon and friends and cousins. I don’t have to solve world hunger in order to have accomplished something in my life. That is not to say that I want to cease questioning where I am and what I want. To the contrary, this practice of gratitude actually motivates me to want to do more, to challenge myself, to think about what I want to do in the years ahead.
I am trying to consciously practice this art of gratitude everyday because I feel happier and less anxious when I do it. It relaxes me. And it is not that hard. I could look solely to M&M everyday for something for which to be grateful but I can also look to Jon (most days!), colleagues, the grocery store, you name it. I think we have so many things happen to us through the day, and we encounter so many people, that we could all fill up our lives practicing gratitude.
Remember that teenager who held the door for you or that old lady who smiled so sweetly at you? Remember when someone laughed at your lame joke or told you how great you looked? Remember when your child looked up at you and said “I love you?” Remember when your partner gave you a goodbye kiss? Remember when your favorite song came on the radio? Remember when you spotted a cardinal on the rose-bush?
Simple pleasures
I took the kids to the Gateway Theatre across from my office because they had a morning movie fest. We missed the activities before the movies last time we went so we made sure to get there earlier this time. Maria was quite disappointed due to the overwhelming “baby” activities that they had set up. I couldn’t argue with her. But, they did have a baby alligator and a lizard for kids to see. Mario stared at them both and pounded questions at the caretaker. They also had a tarantula that Mario almost rubbed faces with when the caretaker took it out. All I could picture was that spider’s fangs digging into Mario and I finally grabbed him away. My smart Maria kept her distance.
We got our popcorn and cookie and took our seats at the very top of the theatre. They play a movie short and then a fun local band, Shazbott’s, plays music before the next movie. Mario loves to go to the front of the theatre and dance. Maria is starting to get self-conscious about it all and stayed in her seat the first round. She only came down the next time because I begged her. She stood by me and watched Mario dance. Mario stood by a blond girl who I believe was part of the band. Later he asked for my phone and I saw him taking a ton of pictures of her. Freaky little guy.
While Maria and I watched Mario dance with the other little kids, I noticed a bald guy holding a little black-haired girl dancing around to the music. He looked like someone I knew – I couldn’t think of who so I found myself glancing over at him off and on to try to remember. He continued to dance with the little girl and then a woman came up from behind him and started to use sign language. He spoke back to her in sign. Another lady approached them and the two women began talking. After a few seconds, they started to sign for the guy. They all laughed.
I began to tear up. How ridiculous I kept thinking to myself. Hold it together. You are breaking down over seeing a manspeak in sign with his wife and friend?
Well, that little talk to myself did not work. I continued to be emotional. But there was something so raw about the sight. The beauty of this man unable to hear the music like we hear it but still dancing with his daughter. Laughing with his family.
The audacity of love. The joy of life. It hit me like a truck rolling right over me; embrace this time. Enjoy Mario’s dancing. Appreciate Maria’s laugh. Treasure their kinship.
I am grateful for these moments in life where some gesture or some person wakes you up and allows you to take a deeper look at where you are and what you have and all that is good in life. We walked out of the theatre and over to my work so Maria and Mario could push the elevator buttons and grab a couple of chocolate bars out of my colleague’s candy dish. Simple pleasures.
Sweet Mornings
Mario kills me. I know one day he will stop doing what he has been doing for the last few months but I hope it is far into the future because it makes my morning.
Most mornings I take Maria to school and Jon takes Mario. Maria and I get out the door first since she needs to be at school at 8:10. Nearly every morning, Mario yells “Mom” before I close the door. I peek inside and he is holding his arms wide with his little boxers on and his baby skin glistening. I run to where he is planted, and he gives me the hugest bear hug he can muster. Then he plants a perfect peck of a kiss on my cheek. He tops it off with a “Have a good day, mom. I love you.”
Really? Does it get any better than that to start your day? I know, I know, I can hear my friends with teenage boys now: “enjoy it while you can because pretty soon he will be sweaty and gross and not want you to talk to him.” Probably true so I am making sure to plant these morning moments in my head so I can look back years from now and still revel in them.
The joys of snow
Old man winter decided to shower us with snow today. Finally.
Snowflakes danced on my nose and eyelashes as I ran through the neighborhood this morning. My IPod died on me ten minutes into my run. Irritation and anger raced through me for not charging it the night before. However, as I continued to run and pout, I heard vibrations of snow on the trees and a trio of birds still chirping away in the 15 degree weather. I changed my thinking: rather than be irritated for 60 minutes, I became grateful for the glorious morning and the snowflakes and the weekend and the opportunity to be by myself for an hour. The results were much better, indeed; I had a most enjoyable run.
Maria teaching Mario early
I came home to a trashed house – the remnant of a crazy week juggling colds, homework, work, and kids’ addiction to electronics. As I began to clean, I sat Mario down with a phonics workbook. He is having trouble with his ABC’s and we are trying to think of ways to help him learn them. When Maria was his age, she had numbers and letters down pat. Mario’s teachers tend to put less emphasis on rote memorization and more emphasis on creativity. I like that style of teaching but I still want Mario to learn the basics! Then again, he isn’t hitting Kindergarten for another year and a half so I should probably just chill.
All Maria needs to hear is that Mario needs to learn something and she transforms herself into “teacher-mode.” She set up a desk and asked Mario to sit with her. She quizzed him on letters and when he got them wrong she gently told him “that is not right, buddy; let’s try it again.” He surprisingly hangs in there with her, even letting her lead in the ABC song. He gets to “LMNOP” and he mumbles something incoherent and continues on with Q and then straight to Y. I have no doubt that Maria will straighten him out and get him reciting his ABC’s in no time. She is a born teacher – even giving Mario a report card based on his ABC’s (“You did ok but keep practicing.”).
After an hour and a half of cleaning, Jon and Patrick and Mario left for Marion to see Jon’s mom and dad, and I stayed home with Maria and Alana (Mario ended up staying with Grandma and Grandpa Ionno after just pleading to them one time to spend the night – he is spoiled). The girls stayed in Maria’s room for a while playing a game that scares me. One of them is the mom and the other the teenage daughter. The daughter screams at her mom and tells her she hates her and drives off in the family car. It seems to always start this way. A snapshot of the future? Let’s hope not….
Maria has inherited my ADHD so after a short time of playing that game, she was ready for something new. She threw on her coat and went outside to play in the half-inch of snow. Alana followed. I continued to clean the counters. Ten minutes later, the doorbell rang. I answered and saw the girls giggling around the house. I went back to cleaning. They rang again. I opened the door and they both lobbed tiny snowballs at me. I stood in the house with snow falling off me. Should I get mad about the snow in my house or the snow on my shirt? Should I get mad that they interrupted my cleaning. No. Instead I got even!
I threw my coat and shoes on and chased them around the yard until I got ’em both with snowballs. Since we were covered in snow, we decided to try to build a snowman. The snow was light and fluffy and sparse, which prompted both girls to tell me there was no way to build one. But I always remember my dad’s actions on a summer day at the farm months ago. He had bought Mario a kite and Mario wanted to fly it but there was absolutely no wind. Everyone told Mario he could not fly it; that is, except my dad. He took him outside to give it a try. With a hill and a will, my dad ran down the hill with that kite flying high in the sky behind him. Mario jumped up and down with sheer joy on his face and we all stood in awe.
The girls with Alycia Snowy
And, following my dad’s footsteps, Maria, Alana and I made ourselves a sweet, little snowman. It took lots of work – the girls shoveled their hearts out – but we did it. Alycia Snowy Ionno is her name and she is a beauty.
Gratitude for Kittens
I knew it would be easy to determine what the kids were grateful for today. A white sherbet kitty with orange ears and orange tail. Mama Meg left me an email about the kitty letting me know that Peepaw was bringing him into Columbus for a couple of nights until he took him to the SPCA to be adopted on Thursday morning. Maria and Mario leapt with joy when I came home from work and told them we could head over to Peepaw’s apartment to see the munchkin.
Maria with another kitty months ago
We bundled up in our sweatshirts (the weather is a turnin’) and hopped in our stroller to head three blocks to Peepaw’s apartment (one nice thing about the house move is we are closer to the apartment). We stepped inside to find a rather mellow, chill kitty sitting next to Peepaw. The kitty was definitely not like the kittens we have met in the past – the ones that jump everywhere, leap after everything, tear into anything. This kitty allowed you to pet him and hold him and rub his ears. What a doll.
Before too long, Maria and Mario had it with them in the bedroom under the bed. They named him “Buster.” They tried to teach him how to go to the bathroom in the litter box. They groomed him. They kissed him. They showed him the water bowl. Maria held him in her arms while she sat on the couch and all I could see the entire time was me as a young girl with my cat (numerous cats throughout my childhood but only one at a time). It is that image that drives me to want a cat for Maria. I remember how much I loved my cats, and how much they loved me and laid with me all the time. But Jon is allergic to them and when he finally could breathe after our previous two cats passed away, he swore no more cats. Maria always asks “when dad dies, can we get a cat?” (I don’t think she quite gets the severity of that question. Or maybe she does?!).
Peepaw drove the kids home while I strolled the BOB back home (the wind was kickin’!). We threw on our pjs and sat on the couch for two books before a tv show. As I read the books, I watched their little faces. Maria’s eyes intently glued on the pictures and Mario’s mind thinking about a question to ask. I am so grateful for reading time with them. I love when they interrupt me with questions or observations. They are thinking and wondering. A beautiful thing.
"MOM!" 