The Mama Bear is in full force today. Hear me roar.
I thought I signed Ri up for soccer this past Spring with Kiwanis. Turns out I didn’t. But last week, I went to the first practice without Ri to ask the coaches if I could add her in the mix. They agreed. So Ri practiced last Thursday and actually enjoyed it! She wanted to keep playing. I, in turn, was even more excited since I’ve been wanting Ri to try soccer since she was two. She took a soccer ball home with her and was ready for practice tonight.
Then the email arrived at 8 am. It stated that Ri never registered and therefore could not play. The team was too full.
I wrote back and pleaded that she be let in since she already went to practice and got a ball and was so excited. No response. I emailed again asking if I could simply speak to someone for a few minutes. No response.
How obnoxious.
As a parent, I would at least have the courtesy to call a distressed parent back and talk through why the decision had been made. Maybe think of some alternatives. Maybe not. But at least give the courtesy of a call.
I get that there needs to be deadlines. I get there are rules. But really, we are talking 3rd and 4th grade girls here and a team that is not “competitive” in relation to a select team or the like. So why not bend the rules a bit to let a girl who wants to try out a sport try it? I’m annoyed even more that two women are the ones ignoring my request to talk. Shouldn’t us women try to help each other out when it comes to our daughters?
I know I’m blowing this up to be a much bigger issue than it is. Jon has better perspective: Ri will probably take it in stride and move on. I did fail to register her on time. She can join a team in the Spring. Move on, Mary.
But damn if it doesn’t just grate on me. Probably because I didn’t sign her up on time so I feel bad. And probably because I’ve been wanting Ri to play more sports. Ok, I see a lot of these are my own issues. But I also feel that non-competitive leagues at this age should be a bit more fluid in admission; and girls at this age should be given opportunities at every turn in order to grow and learn more about themselves and what they love and don’t love.
Ok, so I will move on now, or at least after I make one more call….
Tag: Kids
Immersion
I’m so in love with these munchos of mine I can hardly stand it. My heart expands to the size of a hot-air balloon when they show me a math problem they did or tell me a story they read in class. Those minds expanding and growing and full of questions and ideas. I just want to eat them up and tell them how special they are, over and over and over again.
We took a walk last night after dinner. We talked about random things – school, getting Rocco, how many babies they would have when they were older (Mario five and Ri six – heaven help is). These are some of my happiest moments during the week. No cell phones to answer. No friends to interrupt us. No homework to fight about. Just us talking about anything that pops up and laughing together. And laugh we do – a lot.
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I don’t know that I appreciated this time with the kids as much five years ago. It seems as the years float by, my awareness of the preciousness of this time with them deepens. I am immersed in the moment. I remember with preciseness the smile on Mario’s face as he gets pulled down the street by Rocco and the raucous laughter coming from Maria as Mario rolls around with her in the grass. Whoa, does that feel good and rich and grounding.
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Party Girl
I do believe that if Ri could spend every weekend at a friend’s house, she’d do it. She would not long to be home with us or cry for Jon or me in the middle of the night. She is a party gal.
She had to go to the Ox a Roast festival on the opening night – Thursday. She completely forgot that it was her brother’s birthday. I called the mom she was with over and over with no luck and then finally drove down to get her. And I see the two of them “hanging out” with plastic cups of lemonade (can we keep that beverage in those cups at age 18, please?). They were giggling and running around and loving life. I will give Ri credit – when I reminded her it was Mario’s birthday, she felt bad and wanted to run home. She continued to party it up for Mario’s birthday – getting all of his gifts lined up for him and singing as he opened them. >
She stole a big ol’ hug from Mario after he opened her present and demanded a smooch from him.
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She made sure we placed seven candles in his chocolate donuts (she wanted to give him seven donuts) and brought him in to sing to him.
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She got invited to a sleepover at Anna’s house on Friday night. Anna was under the weather a bit so they stayed home and skipped the Ox Roast. I texted Anna’s mom on Saturday to see how things were and she informed me that Ri didn’t want to come home. Lovely. Eventually, Anna and Ri came to our house and begged to go to the Ox Roast. I packed us up and we headed down for a wild and crazy night.
Mario ran around trying to find Quinn. He’s at the age where I don’t quite need to watch over his every move but I also am not comfortable just letting him go on his own all night. Ri, on the other hand, is at the age where the thought of me walking with her absolutely makes her quiver in embarrassment. I am slowly coming around to the idea that she can walk around on her own as long as it is a small area and I am present somewhere in that small area (it also took a couple of weeks to feel comfortable about her walking up the street alone to meet friends to walk to school – ugh!). So Ri and Anna took off on their own while I kept an eye on Mario.
And what’s the first thing he did? Win a goldfish. Petco has got to love the Ox Roast because every kid wins a fish and therefore needs a tank and food and accessories. Mario showed his fish off and then moved on to the rides. He found Quinn and rode a few with him.
He loves the wheel at the end of the Wacky House because he can run with all his might and not go anywhere. He thinks it’s hilarious. The guy running the House thought Mario was hilarious and let him stay in it for a long time.
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As he was running nowhere, Anna came rushing over to me screaming “Maria’s in the dunk tank!” Huh? I didn’t even know there was one. I grabbed her hand and ran over to the tank. There Ri was – all in pink, arms crossed, ready to get dunked.
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A couple of boys from her grade tried to get her (Will and Danny) but the quarterback of the football team achieved success. She loved it and got right back in line to do it again. Party animal.
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Mario wanted to dunk her so badly and got her on his first try.
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He then moved into line with Ri. Now, Mario loves to party, too but he hates getting wet. This is the kid who flipped out when his shorts got wet on the log flume at Kings Island. But he kept swearing to me that he’d be fine. He eventually got up on the seat and waited to be dunked.
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I believe the quarterback got him, too. As soon as he walked over to me afterwards, I saw him soaked and shivering.
“Mom, I wish I could reverse time and have listened to you.”
That is a rare admission and I soaked it up. I called Jon to come get him as we continued to watch Ri and her girlfriends get dunked over and over again.
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I eventually made Ri and Anna leave with me at 9 pm since Jon was at home watching the football game and I wanted to relax a bit with him. They sulked for a second but then dragged their feet to the car. Ri partied it up for a bit when we got home while Mario conked out on the couch immediately (that running to nowhere wore him out). Ri passed out after a bit on the chair.
The next morning, she came into my bedroom a bit bleary-eyed and stood next to me.
“Mom, can we go to the new MarketPlace and get some muffins. I need food in my stomach.”
Spoken like a true party girl. >
Baltimore, Bucks, and Babies
Jon and I had a great time in Baltimore celebrating our anniversary. His buddy Paul and wife Kelly hooked us up beyond belief. Front row at the Orioles game on Friday night right behind home plate. You could hear the crack of the bat and feel the sting of the ball in the thigh (quite a few bad pitches).I screamed at the Baltimore players with all my might but didn’t manage to get a smile from them (my Reds would have given me some).
On Saturday, we started the tailgating early. Out of the hotel by 9 am (yea, I know there are those up at 5 am raring to go… Not moi). We met up with Paul and Kelly and our neighbors in Grandview (small world) and their family. The stadium was booming when we entered and the Navy boys were impressive as they threw and loosened up on the field – but our guys looked rough and tough when they marched out. The suite had hamburgers and hot dogs and sushi and nuts and more. Ri would have been in heaven with me. Our neighbors’ kids sure were. Jon had fun teasing them and helping one of them create an ultimate burger!
Meanwhile, I had to move around before the game. I was getting antsy after being in that room for an hour. I went down to see the band and the players near the field. I absorbed all the positive energy from the players – so energizing to be near the field listening to music and hearing the crowd. Their were players’ mamas and papas near me taking pictures and beaming about their children.
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I headed back to our suite about fifteen minutes before the start. The midshipmen assembled on the field and the Star-Spangled Banner played. Gets me every time.
And then the game.
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It was quite the nail biter at first but then we pulled it out. All were in good spirits afterwards. But we were also whooped. We went our separate ways to rest up before dinner. I took a walk to check out the inner harbor and to wake me up (if I nap, I’m worse off).
We went to Little Italy for dinner with Paul and Kelly. We ordered a magnificent bottle of wine and had an amazing meal. It was a great way to end the trip.
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We crawled out of bed at 7 am on Sunday and left for the airport. We arrived home to sheets of rain and kids’ embraces. But then they were off to the neighbors’ house to play. And I was whacked out. Usually I’m happy to get some quiet time and slurp it up but for some reason their departure left me depressed and I didn’t recover all day. Sometimes when I don’t start my day with a run or the gym, I get in a funk, too. So maybe it was that combo that kicked my butt. We had our block party that night so I had to break free from the doldrums. I managed to do so and had a good time talking with Patty and Stephanie. The kids biked and wrestled and “got drunk” on Jones soda.
I woke up and took a seven mile run. I felt much better on Monday. The kids and I cleaned up their rooms. We had four garbage bags of junk and old toys and clothes. How refreshing! Jon worked on their fish tanks (not a fun chore). It was soothing to all be together. But Mario got antsy after a bit and begged to go see Quinn. I gave in after the hundredth plea and let him go. My girl stayed with me though, and helped move her barbies upstairs. Evening came and we got ready for bed at 8:15. I read them a book in Ri’s room and tucked them in.
I took a deep breath as I walked down the steps, and gave thanks for my kiddos and being home.
And the more I thought about my melancholy upon my return home on Sunday, the more I came to believe that it was just leaving Paul and Kelly! They were too good of hosts!>
Giving back
I took Maria to the Van Buren homeless shelter last night to help me serve food to the women staying at the shelter. Mario was going to head over with us but Jon arrived home just as we were walking to the car, and he chose to stay with his dad. Ri was glad. She likes that alone time with me.
It’s been a few months since we went to the YWCA Family Shelter to do crafts with the kids. Ri did such a great job with the kids when we went there on Sunday mornings. She loved when toddlers and pre-schoolers showed up because they let her help them draw and glue and gave her hugs. She soaked it up.
I didn’t know what to expect at this homeless shelter because it was our first time serving dinner. They had told me Ri might get bored because she couldn’t serve food from the kitchen (I did not disclose to Ri that she couldn’t serve food because she had her heart set on it and I didn’t want her to be upset before we even left for the shelter).
We arrived to just a few women sitting at tables in a large room. I introduced Ri and the volunteer helpers welcomed her. The coordinator of the dinner quickly reminded me that Ri would have to stay in the dining area. I asked what we could do in the area and she directed us to a pail and washcloths. Ri didn’t hesitate. She got her washcloth and began wiping down the tables. And the chairs. I know she had wanted to serve food but she didn’t whine or complain at all.
When the women stood in line to get food, the leader brought out pitchers of juice and cups. Ri volunteered to pour the juice and give it to the women after they got their food. And so we did. The women were a so sweet to her responding with “thank you baby” and “aren’t you darling.” She’d take the juice over to the table for the women who had a hard time walking. After all the women went through the line, she walked around the tables to see if she could get anything for them. She didn’t feel awkward or nervous. Rather, it came completely natural to her.
If I’ve done one thing right as a parent, it is installing in her the gift of empathy and helping others. I have always felt strongly that she needs to understand how lucky she is to have happened to be born in a first world country, to working parents who have a home and can afford food and transportation and clothing; and to have such a support system of family who think the world of her. I don’t want her to take it for granted and I want her to respect all people, and understand that everyone goes through rough times. In the end, we are all much more alike than we are different.
It’s always been pretty easy with Ri – she seems to innately understand and be sensitive to others’ feelings.
Sure enough, one of the women was telling Ri about her grand daughter and how much she loves to take her to the park and another woman was talking about dressing up as Wonder Woman for Halloween. Ri smiled as they spoke to her and engaged back with them.
I have grown up with parents and family reinforcing in me that “there but for the grace of god go I.” We are all struggling to make the best of this life; all struggling to find happiness and joy. The woman at the shelter could be me. And she deserves respect and love and compassion.
As we were packing up, a lady called out “Mom, hey mom. Come here.”
I walked over to her. She wrapped her arm around me.
“You’ve got a heck of a daughter there. It’s wonderful that she’d spend her time helping us. She’s beautiful.”
I couldn’t agree more – on the inside and out.
Football and cake = an August weekend
We made it out to the farm on Saturday with enough time to eat lunch, eat cake and play one badminton game. But Ri got to soak it up a bit longer out there with her friend Henley. Jon, Mario and I had to head back to Columbus for his Meet the Team night in the Grandview Stadium.
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Ri and Henley had a good time holding Elena and riding the horses and playing yoga kickball with Peepaw and Jorge. Poor Henley took a hike with me and Ri and fell on her back as she tried to swing on a vine. Then she got stung by a bee. I’m not sure a trip back to the farm will be happening soon for her…!
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I always forget how self sufficient Ri is on the farm. She’s completely able to traverse the farm without any issues, and when she falls she just picks herself up and keeps truckin’. A true farm gal. But we gave kudos to Henley for not giving up and trying that vine again. She succeeded at swinging on it the second time.
Meanwhile, Mario, Jon and I went to Meet the Team night. Mario was in his element with his guys. He soaks up that testosterone and jumps right into all the boy antics.
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The high school boys came out last and all the younger boys get to form a line on each side of them to cheer them on. We watched Mario smile as he slapped the high school boys’ hands. The high school boys got to introduce themselves and name their favorite breakfast food. Mario will fit right into this football group based on the answers we were hearing. I believe 80% of the boys answered that their favorite breakfast food was donuts or pancakes.
After the stadium event, the Touchdown Club held a gathering at the Italian Club down the street. We weren’t going to attend but after sitting around the house for an hour, we decided to head down. Mario was again in his element. He partied it up with his football buddies tossing the football and running around the place. He even jumped on stage without hesitation when Gangum Style came out of the speakers.
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We had to drag him out of the building at 9:30 to head home.
While Ri and Henley were trying to read to Elena Sunday morning, Mario was chowing on eggs and waffles preparing for his first football game.
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Jon headed up to the field with Mario at 11 am. He had to get weighed in and practice before the noon game. I gasped when I saw him – big ol’ shoulder pads and jersey with his name on it. He looked like a miniature pro football player.
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He was ready to play. He has no desire to throw or catch the ball; he just loves to tackle. He’s not scared of the big boys either. I thought I’d be scared half to death watching him but I wasn’t. I saw him hold his own play after play and felt surprisingly calm. Now, I’m sure the day will come where I will exhibit nerves and fear (especially if he is catching the ball and getting tackled) but I’ll enjoy watching him play for now. He’s also quite the nut of the team.
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They ended up tying the game. Mario looked like me after a long run – completely drenched in sweat. He got a celebratory hot dog and walked out with the love of his life, Grandma Ionno.
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Of course, he had to take off his shirt and strut it out back to the car. I used to not be able to picture my little guy as a teenager but as I snapped this picture, all I could see was Mario at age 16.
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Hence why I agreed to read Dracula to him for a half hour last night at bedtime – I’ve got to get the snuggle time in with him while I am able.
And Ms. Maria is heading right up that path, too. I go to say goodnight to her and find her in her pjs, wet hair combed from a shower, looking up iPhones on her iPad. But just when I was about to leave her room, she noticed me and sang “mom, can you scratch my back and bring me water.” There’s my baby girl.
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First day of school – 2014
And so a new school year begins….
Mario in First and Ri in Fourth. We had one school year – last year – where the kids were both in the same building. It passed too quickly, and now we have Ri heading to the Intermediate school just a few blocks from our street and Mario staying at the Elementary school about a mile away. Ri has to be to school by 8 am (and will deal with nothing less than being ten minutes early) and Mario has to be at school by 8:15 (and could care less if he’s there early). It made for an interesting first morning. Jon and I had to draw straws to see who took who. Actually, we didn’t in the end because we both knew who Mario would want to take him. Jon. He’s a huge dad fan lately. So Ri and I started up our street at 7:35 am hoping to meet some friends along the way. We found Nora!
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Then Lucia!
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And then throngs of kids in front of the school doors. Ri talked with random friends and then the teacher came out to welcome them. I snuck in behind Ri and got to see her classroom. She promptly shoo’d me away and I obeyed. But not before making sure her school supplies were in the room. They weren’t. Great. I confirmed with her teacher that they wouldn’t need them today and found the name of the PTO rep who I needed to call. I swore I ordered her supplies not once, but twice on line just to be safe. She’s the child that will freak out if everything is not in order. I left without even telling her so she wouldn’t stress all day and promptly called the rep to make sure I could have her supplies by tomorrow.
Then I biked like Lance Armstrong down to Mario’s school. When I arrived, there was a line around the school to enter. I cut through it and I made it to Mario’s room in time to see him planted in his seat ready to learn.
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I had managed to get his supplies ordered ( the child who could care less). One star for me. Mario was quiet and shy. He began to draw on the sheet of paper in front of him that had the words “Summer, I did….” He kept glancing around at friends coming in the classroom. He doesn’t have any of his football buddies or previous boys from Kindergarten in the classroom but I know he will make quick friends. My girlfriend sent me this darling GQ-like picture from earlier in the morning.
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It was much easier to drop off this year than last year when Mario cried and cried. He’s growing up.
I biked over to Ri’s school at lunch. They had a 4-8th grade cookout. They were dancing to the YMCA song and running everywhere. Ri was her chill self sitting on the jungle gym.
“Why don’t you go dance, Ri?”
“I don’t want to.”
I smiled and rubbed her dangling foot. I’m learning to stand back. As much as I want to advise her on who to play with and who to befriend, I’ve got to let her be and trust that she will figure it out like we all did as young girls.
I biked from work at 2:30 to catch Mario after school. He came running out happy as can be
and chatting with his buddies. He confirmed he had a great day – thank goodness. I expected Ri to be down there when I arrived but she was not. I started to ridiculously fret that maybe she went home instead or got kidnapped or had to walk alone or… You name it, I thought it.
I got a text at 2:55 from Ri’s friend, Evie informing me that Ri wanted to talk to me.
“Mom, we are at the top of the hill;can I go say hi to Mrs. Pharion?”
I was relieved she had made it down from Edison and that she was not asking me to pick her up (she is not my walker girl). When I caught up with her, I asked her how the walk to Stevenson was. She said “great.” I was very happy to hear that word; hopefully she will continue to like walking home with Kathryn and Evie. It’s good for her. It also led to her pleading for a phone like Evie has and ten justifications for having one. This will an on-going battle this year, I am sure.
By the time I got done talking to Maria, Mario had decided to go with Stephanie and Quinn to DQ. Sophie ran over to Ri to ask her to go. Ri planted a big hug on her.
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And they were off for after-school ice cream with their buddies. First day over and done with – grateful to see it end with smiles and friends.
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Love is in the air (along with a photo booth!)
A cousin wrote on Facebook that she’s amazed at the number of people who have never been to a wedding. After all, she’s been to 16. It got me thinking of the reception that we went to on Saturday night near Toledo.
Jon and I had been so brain dead since our Great Wolf Lodge trip that we had not watched the news in two days. It ends up that Toledo had a water problem caused by algae and people were driving 60 miles south to stock up on bottled water. The reception was almost canceled because they did not know if they could get enough water or make the food for the 200+ guests. That would have been a perfect end to our vacation week – drive 2.5 hours to arrive at an empty reception hall.
Ri got dropped off from her Cedar Point trip at 2 pm on Saturday afternoon. She and her friend Evie rode roller coasters and got henna tattoos and swam at the hotel pool in Sandusky. She loved it. Evie’s mom is a machine for taking them and her son and his friends up there (they left at 6 am on Friday morning!).
We got our RedBox movies, activity books, markers, food (snacks are a necessity for any trip greater than 10 miles), and sweatshirts (the kids always complain about the AC on the way home) and we were off. Jon and I were pleasantly surprised that the trip only took a little over 2 hours. However, that meant we were the first ones at the hotel reception hall. We had to forego the wedding ceremony (much to Ri’s dismay) because Ri got home too late from Cedar Point. We wandered around the lobby until some other guests arrived. We knew no one. Megan and David (the married couple) were both our babysitters throughout the last four years. We found Megan in 2011 – she watched the kids after school and during the Summer and David took over in 2012 until this summer when he got an internship. Ri idolized Megan. Megan taught her to ride a bike with no training wheels and jump off the diving boards at the pool. Mario idolized David. He taught him how to shoot a basketball and throw a football. They were both great with the kids and I’m sure Ri and Mario will always remember them as they get older.
The Smith family finally arrived. Karen and Adam went to law school with me and have five girls. Karen introduced me to Megan because Megan’s sister babysits the Smith girls. Yea, Jon and I had some adults we knew and could talk to as we waited for the reception hall to open. Ri roamed around grabbing broccoli and dip from the appetizer stations and Mario hung outside waiting patiently for David to drive up. And finally they arrived!
Mario began to run out to greet David. Maria was appalled. “Mom! You can’t let him go out there!” She is definitely the adult in the group. I allowed Mario to give him a hug and then made him come right back inside to appease Ri.
And then the traditional wedding reception activities flowed just like at the many other receptions I’ve been to through the years. Megan and David ran into the ballroom hoopin’ and hollerin’. The DJ played “Let’s get Ready to Rumble” as they ran in – Mario found that so cool. Megan’s dad made a toast and the maid of honor and best man followed. We ate. We cut the cake. We watched the bouquet toss, which Ri viewed intensely (they made the eligibility 18 years and up which bummed her out). We watched the removal of the garter – David had to start from the back of the room and impress Megan enough to take off the garter. He unbuttoned his vest and his shirt as he swayed smoothly towards Megan. They played stripper music. It was hilarious. Mario had his hands over his mouth in glee. And when David went under her dress for the garter, Mario slapped his knees in awe and laughed hysterically. What he’s learning….
Then we had cake and Mario danced to one of those traditional wedding songs where you all have to move to the left and right and shake….
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Meanwhile, Ri found the photo booth in the corner of the ballroom, and proceeded to throw on ridiculous props and get her picture taken. Mario caught hold of it, too, and that was the end of any other activity. They begged Jon to do it with them, too, and he let down his guard and went for it.
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Meanwhile, I ate a second piece of chocolate cake and watched Megan jamming it out on the dance floor. I thought back to my wedding day with Jon and remembered how we engaged in the the same activities that Megan and David did on our day (except I may have been a bit more animated and tipsy…). And how my cousins all sat there on the edge of the dance floor watching Jon and I’s first dance just like Ri and Mario watched Megan and David’s first dance. Weddings are magical, especially to kids.
Jon and I were exhausted as we drove home at 10:30 pm. But we were glad we bit the bullet and made it to the celebration. Megan and David deserved our love and support and they gave more than they know to Ri and Mario that night. After witnessing all the fun and love at the reception and receiving hugs and kisses from Megan and David, M&M left the ball room with first-hand knowledge that life is beautiful and full of joy and not to be taken too seriously.
He will be just fine
I’ve been beating myself up all week.
Right blow.
Left blow.
Uppercut.
Mario experienced his first Boy Scout camp this week. It’s been a bit of a fiasco since we learned three days before camp that an adult needed to be with him at all times during the 8 am to 4 pm camp. Rack on another “crappy parent” notch to our belts since Jon and I could not take the entire week off to attend camp with him. That’s immediately how I looked at the situation. Jon is a little easier on us. His viewpoint is that we are working parents and we can’t do everything with our kids – we have a sitter that can do these things when we can’t. Real simple. I wish I could steal that gene that doesn’t harp on guilt.
But the problem arose that our sitter also has a two year old son who she tends to through the day along with Ri and Mario. Could we really expect her son to be good and stay by her side for 8 hours while she tended to Mario at camp? I spent the weekend trying to figure a way I could take off a day or two and Jon did the same. I also prepped our sitter about what may be in store for her and asked her to see if her parents could watch her son. I also convinced myself that Mario would probably dislike it any way and not want to go after Monday.
He loved it on Monday.
Jon was able to take him Monday morning, get him registered and acclimated and see him through some initial stations. Mario loved having him there. Our sitter arrived around 10:30 am and relieved him. Mario begged Jon to stay. He did not want our sitter’s son to stay (he’s been having a rough time with our sitter’s son all summer – it’s tough to go from being the youngest in the house to the middle child). But they survived until 4 pm. And he told me all the fun he had that night.
“But can you or dad stay all day tomorrow?”
Of course, the last two weeks have been reasonably calm and I could have gone in late to take Mario to camp. But this week was ridiculous with emergency matters left and right. I talked to Jon – who had to leave town at 5:30 pm Tuesday night – to see if he could take him again on Tuesday. He moved mountains but was able to do it. Mario was so happy. Jon stayed with him until lunch time. Our sitter relieved him at noon and that allowed her to only have to balance her son and Mario for four hours. A small victory. I had hoped to go out on Tuesday afternoon but could not break away from the chaos. It ate me up and pissed me off and I swore I’d get there Wednesday.
I pressured our sitter to find someone to watch her son on Wednesday so that she could be alone with Mario and give him complete attention. She was able to do so, which gave me a little sigh of relief. But I couldn’t make it over to the camp on Wednesday either due to the work madness. I didn’t get home until close to 11 pm that night and I stood at the kitchen counter eating ice cream from the package and staring off into space. I was tired and irritated and missing my kiddos. I walked upstairs to find Ri sprawled out on her bed like a teenager. I jumped on her and bear hugged her and kissed her cheeks and she laid as still as a sweet baby doll. I whispered a goodnight to Mario (who was staying with Patty) and went to bed.
Patty, aka our savior, took Mario to camp Thursday and Friday. What a godsend it was to me – to have peace of mind that he would be with her all day. She is close, if not at, the same level as Jon and I in Mario’s eyes. So he was in heaven at the thought of her attending.
But he did call me and ask if I could try to come so that I could watch him doing activities. That’s it, I thought, I gotta get up there if only for an hour. I struggled to get work done and got some help from my colleague in order to take off at 1 pm and head up to see Mario. I made sure to capture the look on his face as he walked up the path to greet me – pure joy and excitement. Damn, it feels good to be loved that intensely. I made it just in time to creek walk with him. Grandma joined, too. We learned about water creatures and clay rocks and crawfish. It was a wonderful time.
Mario held my hand and walked with me. He gave me kisses. He laughed. It was well worth the effort to get out there.
In the end, all my worry and angst was unnecessary. I couldn’t see that in the moment but after a Mama Mimi’s pizza and some UDF ice cream on Friday night, I could see that 15 years from now, whether our sitter went with him or I went with him, he would turn out fine.
I continue to face the fact that I cannot “have it all.” I cannot always be with the kids when I want. I can’t always produce the most stellar work. Life gets in the way. Emergencies arise. Appointments arise.
When I give myself the space to accept that, life looks pretty good.
I work in a fairly flexible job. Some weeks are insane and some are slow. I get a lot of kid time when weeks are slow. Unfortunately, Mario’s Boy Scout camp was during an insane one. But I tried my hardest to take care of Mario by getting my sitter to go without her son, by working with Jon to flex his schedule, by asking Patty to go a couple of days, and by finding the most opportune time to get out and see him myself.
I shouldn’t be beating myself up, I should be hugging myself.
I think in the end, it is the knowledge that you are loved that helps a kid blossom. Mario feels love from all directions – parents, sitters, grandparents. He will be just fine. And I will, too.
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Rocco turns one!
Maria has been dying to host a birthday party for Rocco who turned 1 on July 19. We sat at Stauf’s on Sunday and looked at dog party ideas on Pintrest. At one point she found a dog party company that “brings magic shows to dogs in your own home.” She was cracking up at the thought. I swear the girl could be my 40 year old girlfriend with the way she makes fun of these things with me. She’s a nut.
We ended up buying a ton of doggy bakery treats and tennis balls to stuff in doggy bags for Rocco’s guests.
Tuesday was an insane work day. The party was slotted for 7 pm. It ended up that only one other puppy friend could make the party. Poor Rocco had to feel deflated….
Maria and her friend Kathryn worked tirelessly after Girl Scout camp to put together decorations and create party games. I got home right at 7 pm to find a table decorated on the deck with dog treats and streamers. They had a pin the tail on the dog game set up. Precious. Kathryn’s mom arrived with Hannah, a golden doodle pup. Rocco was his clumsy, goofy self hopping on Hannah and sniffing all over her. But she sang happy birthday with us and she made Rocco happy.
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After the pups went to town on dog treats and cupcakes, the humans got to play games and win prizes. Mario won pin the tail on the dog.
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He graciously allowed Elizabeth and I to have the prizes – lotion and nail polish. We then played a guessing game and called it a night. It was 8 pm by that time and I was exhausted after a long work day. Besides, I believe Rocco had been fed a doggy cupcake, three large bones and at least ten other treats by 8 pm and he was starting to look bloated. I should have been prepared for a night up with the pup when I looked at him that moment, but I was too exhausted to notice. I got the kids in the shower and prepared camp lunches. We all hit the sack at 10 pm. At 1 am, I heard Rocco whining. And so it started. Just like when the kids were babies, I was up every hour letting him outside to expel all of the treats from his stomach. I was a zombie when the kids came into my room at 6:20 am, and drank two energy shots to try to look alive through the day. The kids, on the other hand, sprang down stairs and were ready to roll out another day of camp. Even Rocco was running around like a crazy pup by morning time. So, birthday number 1 was a success. Rocco gorged himself. Mario won the games. Maria was very proud. And mom, as tired as I was, loved seeing everyone happy.
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"MOM!" 